So how important is it to have a spiritual director?

[Larowyn]

I’ve been almost completely decided on becoming a priest for a long time now, but I never really did anything to get the ball rolling–I’m a huge procrastinator and I get overanxious when I try to start anything career-related or even talk to people.

I keep hearing on these boards recommendations to find a priest to be one’s spiritual director while they discern a vocation, but my priest seems to be very busy with all of the roles he’s been assigned in the diocese, including the marriage council, the counter-abuse program (forgot what it was called), and is also a canon lawyer and has been asked to appear frequently at state senate hearings on behalf of the Church and diocese. This is in addition to being a parish priest. I’ve always hated making people go out of their way just for me, so I don’t really want to burden him at all. The other option I see is to contact my diocese’s vocations director and go through him, but I don’t know him at all and that makes it even harder for me to do, especially since I’d rather start the process of becoming a priest than go through discernment meetings to see if I want to become one (which I did once but didn’t like doing).

Oh yeah, I should mention that I’m virtually unable to place phone calls and sending emails is a very difficult task for me.

 

[puzzleannie]

it is essential if you are discerning a vocation
your parish priest is not always the best choice, as not every priest has the time or competence for this role
you should be in contact with the vocations director of your diocese or of the religious order you are considering, and one of their jobs is to steer you to a good director.

 

[bilop]

I’ve been almost completely decided on becoming a priest for a long time now, but I never really did anything to get the ball rolling–I’m a huge procrastinator and I get overanxious when I try to start anything career-related or even talk to people.

I keep hearing on these boards recommendations to find a priest to be one’s spiritual director while they discern a vocation, but my priest seems to be very busy with all of the roles he’s been assigned in the diocese, including the marriage council, the counter-abuse program (forgot what it was called), and is also a canon lawyer and has been asked to appear frequently at state senate hearings on behalf of the Church and diocese. This is in addition to being a parish priest. I’ve always hated making people go out of their way just for me, so I don’t really want to burden him at all. The other option I see is to contact my diocese’s vocations director and go through him, but I don’t know him at all and that makes it even harder for me to do, especially since I’d rather start the process of becoming a priest than go through discernment meetings to see if I want to become one (which I did once but didn’t like doing).

Oh yeah, I should mention that I’m virtually unable to place phone calls and sending emails is a very difficult task for me.

You really need to contact your vocations director. How old are you?

The whole process of becoming a priest is a discernment process. What ever diocese or order you apply to is going to require a certain process. They will certainly require spiritual direction, physical and psychological exams, and a long period of dircernment and formation. If you are called to be a priest, you are going to have to deal with that.

May God Bless your vocation abundantly!

 

[Larowyn]

You really need to contact your vocations director. How old are you?

The whole process of becoming a priest is a discernment process. What ever diocese or order you apply to is going to require a certain process. They will certainly require spiritual direction, physical and psychological exams, and a long period of dircernment and formation. If you are called to be a priest, you are going to have to deal with that.

May God Bless your vocation abundantly!

I’m 23.

 

[bilop]

I’m 23.

Well, then you should be ready for serious discernment.

Have you picked an order or diocese? Have you contacted the vocations director?

BTW, why is it hard for you to make phone calls or send e-mail?

God Bless

 

[Joannm]

Well, then you should be ready for serious discernment.

Have you picked an order or diocese? Have you contacted the vocations director?

BTW, why is it hard for you to make phone calls or send e-mail?

God Bless

As a priest you probably will have to make lots of phone calls and at least here in our diocese all correspondence with the diocese and preists is by e-mail and may parishioners correspond with the priests via e-mail. You might want to get some counseling to get over this phobia as they will probably pick it up during the discernment process.

 

[jmcrae]

Oh yeah, I should mention that I’m virtually unable to place phone calls and sending emails is a very difficult task for me.

You’re going to have to get over it. As a priest, a major part of your job is going to be interpersonal communications with complete strangers (sometimes, very hostile strangers) and telephone/e-mail marketing, even though nobody is rude enough to call it that.

The priesthood is not for people who are shy and/or self-conscious.

 

[Johndigger]

Don’t worry, too much though. No one has sufficient Priestly skills before they enter seminary. That’s what seminary is for.

Communications skills are things that can be worked on. As long as you are willing to improve and you have a prayerful willing heart, then this is all the Lord asks.

Get a good spiritual director. Do whatever they say.

In Christ,

JD

 

[Larowyn]

Well, then you should be ready for serious discernment.

Have you picked an order or diocese? Have you contacted the vocations director?

BTW, why is it hard for you to make phone calls or send e-mail?

God Bless

I’m interested in the Jesuits but the provincial website was rather vague and I figured that I should speak to the diocesan vocations director before anything else.

I always get a great deal of anxiety whenever I try to place a phone call; in the past the anxiety was so great that it would take hours or even days to work up the nerve to call someone whom I didn’t know and then feel ashamed of myself after it was over. I used to never call people at all and expect them to call me instead, so I think I’m getting better at that. Email is a similar problem but the hardest part is anticipating a response.

jmcrae:

You’re going to have to get over it. As a priest, a major part of your job is going to be interpersonal communications with complete strangers (sometimes, very hostile strangers) and telephone/e-mail marketing, even though nobody is rude enough to call it that.

The priesthood is not for people who are shy and/or self-conscious.

Well thanks, now I feel so much better about wanting to be a priest. Maybe I’ll just forget the whole thing and be an office grunt or something.

 

[introibo]

Well, if a comment from an anonymous person on a message board is enough to make you want to quit discerning the priesthood, it sounds like the call isn’t very strong in the first place. Just sayin’.

Maybe a monastic community would be better suited to your particular skills and needs? Check it out.

 

[Johndigger]

Revealing a deeply personal vocation on a message board is opening yourself up to criticism and advice. Some of it you need. Some of it you don’t.

People arn’t going to like you becoming a Priest. They arn’t going to understand your need for celibacy. They arn’t going to understand why you love the Lord.

They will try and sway you from your choice.

Most of all the devil will unleash every tactic in the book to stop men aspiring the Holy Sacrifice of Mass.

Consequently, pray hard and remain firm. People will try and knock you down. You must be a rock.

In Christ,

JD

 

[Larowyn]

Well, if a comment from an anonymous person on a message board is enough to make you want to quit discerning the priesthood, it sounds like the call isn’t very strong in the first place. Just sayin’.

Maybe a monastic community would be better suited to your particular skills and needs? Check it out.

I was being sarcastic about giving up. I’m sure that a vocations director would be a better judge of whether I’m priestly material.

 

[darryld]

The best source that I know of for spiritual direction would be a retired priest. They have much more time to devote to such matters. God bless you in your dissernment.

 

[Nickkname]

I’ve been almost completely decided on becoming a priest for a long time now, but I never really did anything to get the ball rolling–I’m a huge procrastinator and I get overanxious when I try to start anything career-related or even talk to people.

I keep hearing on these boards recommendations to find a priest to be one’s spiritual director while they discern a vocation, but my priest seems to be very busy with all of the roles he’s been assigned in the diocese, including the marriage council, the counter-abuse program (forgot what it was called), and is also a canon lawyer and has been asked to appear frequently at state senate hearings on behalf of the Church and diocese. This is in addition to being a parish priest. I’ve always hated making people go out of their way just for me, so I don’t really want to burden him at all. The other option I see is to contact my diocese’s vocations director and go through him, but I don’t know him at all and that makes it even harder for me to do, especially since I’d rather start the process of becoming a priest than go through discernment meetings to see if I want to become one (which I did once but didn’t like doing).

Oh yeah, I should mention that I’m virtually unable to place phone calls and sending emails is a very difficult task for me.

God makes uses of weak,small, pathetic, worthless instruments, so don’t worry about your weaknesses, failings, fualts, cons, etc. Just trust in God. You do this one thing and you’ll do fine as a Priest.

Satan hates Priests, so if you ever feel any doubts, worries, or any negative thoughts at all, know that it’s the devil trying to discourage you from doing God’s will. Trust in God, and let him take care of everything for you.

Entrust yourself to Mary, the Mother of God of Priests. She loves you very much and is always happy to pray for you to the Lord.

Let God handle your spiritual direction. Trust in him. He will give you a spiritual director when the time is right.

In brief, trust completely in the Lord. The more you trust in him, the more he’ll give you. Trust in him as a child trusts in his father: full of love.

 

[jmcrae]

Well thanks, now I feel so much better about wanting to be a priest. Maybe I’ll just forget the whole thing and be an office grunt or something.

I don’t know what you want me to say. You’re basically asking for advice and then saying “but don’t ask me to do anything the normal, easy way, because I refuse to do that.”

 

[bilop]

I’m interested in the Jesuits but the provincial website was rather vague and I figured that I should speak to the diocesan vocations director before anything else.

I always get a great deal of anxiety whenever I try to place a phone call; in the past the anxiety was so great that it would take hours or even days to work up the nerve to call someone whom I didn’t know and then feel ashamed of myself after it was over. I used to never call people at all and expect them to call me instead, so I think I’m getting better at that. Email is a similar problem but the hardest part is anticipating a response.

The Jesuits are a tough outfit to get a read on. They have a very long formation process, and have significant pockets of heterodoxy. Although, there are some very fine Jesuits, like Fr. Pacwa on EWTN.

I agree you should talk to your diocesan vocation director, he can can help you find a spiritual director and help you figure out the next steps.

You can get over your phobias with help, but you will have to be willing to work at that.

God Bless

 

[marchoi]

How important is it to have a spiritual director? VERY. No lies, VERY IMPORTANT.

Especially since you’re young (23), it helps immensely to have a spiritual director who knows how to discern. That’s really what a spiritual director does in the discernment sense - he’s gone through what you’re going through, so he’s quite suited to help your discernment. I find that my SD is really helpful when I’m confused or overwhelmed with tons of conflicting feelings. He seems to have this ability to sort out what I’m thinking…

Bottom line, if you’re seriously considering the priesthood and the seminary, get a spiritual director. You’ll find it helpful.

Oh, and with regards to helpfulness of SD - you might find that the first SD you have isn’t particularly helpful. Find a different one with whom you are comfortable, one whose opinions you respect, but most importantly one who is helpful. This isn’t about having someone to talk to, but someone who can be a mentor of sorts.

 

[Larowyn]

How important is it to have a spiritual director? VERY. No lies, VERY IMPORTANT.

Especially since you’re young (23), it helps immensely to have a spiritual director who knows how to discern. That’s really what a spiritual director does in the discernment sense - he’s gone through what you’re going through, so he’s quite suited to help your discernment. I find that my SD is really helpful when I’m confused or overwhelmed with tons of conflicting feelings. He seems to have this ability to sort out what I’m thinking…

Bottom line, if you’re seriously considering the priesthood and the seminary, get a spiritual director. You’ll find it helpful.

Oh, and with regards to helpfulness of SD - you might find that the first SD you have isn’t particularly helpful. Find a different one with whom you are comfortable, one whose opinions you respect, but most importantly one who is helpful. This isn’t about having someone to talk to, but someone who can be a mentor of sorts.

I figured I would just send an email to the vocations director and go from there. I don’t know many priests and the only one I see regularly I don’t feel comfortable talking to (even though I admire him a lot). Starting conversations is another weakness of mine in a similar vein as the phone calls and emails thing, so that’s probably why. I’ve improved a lot now and I dare to start conversations with classmates a lot more than I ever would have in the past, plus I don’t give one word answers anymore.

Edit: should I have an order or role in mind when I speak to the vocations director, or is a desire to become a priest enough?

 

[marchoi]

Edit: should I have an order or role in mind when I speak to the vocations director, or is a desire to become a priest enough?

The desire to become a priest is a good place to start. If you have an order in mind, I guess it’s bonus points for you… But it’s certainly something you can still discern while in seminary, so I wouldn’t worry too much about it. One guy I knew spent four years in minor (college) seminary studying for the diocesan priesthood, and upon graduation decided to join the CFRs. So you don’t have to have an order in mind, as long as you’re open to God’s will.

 

[Joannm]

I figured I would just send an email to the vocations director and go from there. I don’t know many priests and the only one I see regularly I don’t feel comfortable talking to (even though I admire him a lot). Starting conversations is another weakness of mine in a similar vein as the phone calls and emails thing, so that’s probably why. I’ve improved a lot now and I dare to start conversations with classmates a lot more than I ever would have in the past, plus I don’t give one word answers anymore.

Edit: should I have an order or role in mind when I speak to the vocations director, or is a desire to become a priest enough?

I offer a word of encouragement and advice. I too, in my younger days had a phone phobia and would not initiate conversation with strangers. If you want to be in full time ministry, which being a priest is, then you have to get over that. A good spritual director can be of some help but a good therapist can be a Godsend.

I still have difficulty initiating conversations and I procrastinate in making phone calls but I know I have to do it in my ministry. Now, when I reveal to people that I am very introverted they act surprized and would think just the opposite of me. It took a lot of work and I never got rid of the discomfort, but if I wanted to be in ministry I had to get over my phobia and “just do it” as Nike says. I still have problems with confrontation and knowing that I have to confront a volunteer parishioner or fellow staff member gets me all worked up, but it is good to have somoene to talk to to help me formulate what I am going to say. It usually works out well…but you really can’t do it alone. Get a SD for the spiritual things and discernemt and the therapist for the phobia.