So I Confessed Everything - Did Not Feel Better!

[mercygate]

After confession, I did not feel better, I felt so much worse. I mean I just talked to someone I don’t know about some of my most personal stuff. I was trying to feel good, but I couldn’t. WHY do I have to confess to a priest this kind of stuff? WHY doesn’t a 1 on 1 prayer wit h God work? He knows if you really mean what you say.

Sorry to affirm puzzleannie’s response because it’s not the kind of fuzzy-wuzzy “accepting” sort of thing people expect to hear – but she’s right.

One might ask you whether 1 on 1 prayer “worked” any better for you. Somehow, I think not. In fact, I know it doesnt. It’s just easier.

 

[Mickey]

This sort of post is what turns me off about this site. Geez, have a reality check, this guy has alot of hormones raging and is living in a sex saturated society. He’s a healthy red-blodded guy with a normal physiological reaction to seeing a sexy girl with her midriff showing and a sway to her hips. Give him a break, he’s doing the best he can!

Time to chill out, Sailboat. The OP wonders why he is tortured by his thoughts, and many of the Church Fathers give us insight as to why we are afflicted. The quote was meant to help him, not to hinder him.

If you are turned off by the wisdom of the Church Fathers, it would not be beneficial to project that onto others.

Peace and blessings,
Mickey

 

[Sailboat]

Er, the Church Fathers thought alot of things about the human body that science has disproven. The Church now knows the seizures are caused by an electrical storm in the brain, not evil demons. The Church understands now about hormonal influences on the sex drive. It also understands how a lack of certain chemicals in the brain can cause depression leading to suicide. It used to be that suicide was considered always to be a mortal sin, but the Church has grown along with the rest of humanity in it’s knowledge of the human body.

In the Catholic Catechism the Church acknowledges the influence of youth, anxiety, and addiction on this habit. Maybe you should ‘chill out’ and read your Catechism!

 

[Mickey]

Er, the Church Fathers thought alot of things about the human body that science has disproven. The Church now knows the seizures are caused by an electrical storm in the brain, not evil demons. The Church understands now about hormonal influences on the sex drive. It also understands how a lack of certain chemicals in the brain can cause depression leading to suicide. It used to be that suicide was considered always to be a mortal sin, but the Church has grown along with the rest of humanity in it’s knowledge of the human body.

Er, the quote said nothing about seizures, hormonal drives, depression, or suicide.

In the Catholic Catechism the Church acknowledges the influence of youth, anxiety, and addiction on this habit. Maybe you should ‘chill out’ and read your Catechism!

I know my Catechism quite well.

But I will take your advice and chill out by not responding to anymore of your antagonism and apparent disrespect for the saints of our Church.

 

[Mickey]

A brother asked one of the Fathers, “What shall I do? My thoughts are always turned to lust without allowing me an hour’s respite, and my soul is tormented by it.” He said to him, “Every time the demons suggest these thoughts to you, do not argue with them. For the activity of demons always is to suggest, and suggestions are not sins, for they cannot compel; but it rests with you to welcome them, or not to welcome them. Do you know what the Midianites did? They adorned their daughters and presented them to the Israelites. They did not compel anyone, but those who consented, sinned with them, while the others were enraged and put them to death. It is the same with thoughts.”
The brother answered the old man, “What shall I do, then, for I am weak and passion overcomes me?” He said to him, “Watch your thoughts, and every time they begin to say something to you, do not answer them but rise and pray; kneel down, saying, ‘Son of God, have mercy on me.’”
Then the brother said to him, “Look, Abba, I meditate, and there is no compunction in my heart because I do not understand the meaning of the words.” The other said to him, “Be content to meditate. Indeed, I have learned that Abba Poemen and many other Fathers uttered the following saying, ‘The magician does not understand the meaning of the words which he pronounces, but the wild animal who hears it understands, submits, and bows to it. So it is with us also; even if we do not understand the meaning of the words we are saying, when the demons hear them, they take fright and go away.’”
"The Wisdom of the Desert Fathers," by Benedicta Ward, (Oxford: SLG Press, 1986), pp. 16-17

 

[InLight247]

After confession, I did not feel better, I felt so much worse. I mean I just talked to someone I don’t know about some of my most personal stuff. I was trying to feel good, but I couldn’t. WHY do I have to confess to a priest this kind of stuff? WHY doesn’t a 1 on 1 prayer wit h God work? He knows if you really mean what you say.

.

I am trying to understand your feeling. You went to a face to face confession for some very private matter. Afterwards, the experience made you feel humiliated, sort of embarrassed. Though you know your sins were forgiven, because of the vulnerable approach, you felt worse.

You post the inner most matter online, but because your identity is hidden, you don’t feel humiliated. Am I right here?

If that is the case, next time, do the behind screen confession to avoid the embarrassment (less). For this past time, offer up your feeling of humiliation to God as part of your penance.

We are all human, if the feelings I described above is true, don’t dwell on them. Let them go.

Know that God loves you. He understands your struggles, He also wants you to be pure. Strive for purity with your prayers, Eucharist adoration, attending Mass, confession, and also do lot of exercises.

God bless you!

 

[Sailboat]

Er, the quote said nothing about seizures, hormonal drives, depression, or suicide.
I know my Catechism quite well.

But I will take your advice and chill out by not responding to anymore of your antagonism and apparent disrespect for the saints of our Church.

Thanks for the charitable comment! I’d advise you to read your Catechism again, Brother. YOU are the one who choose to ignore the Church’s current teaching and sit in judgement of your brother.

You know, I’ve been posting awhile on this site and have seen alot of self-rightous people who seem to think they are more Catholic than the Pope. They know nothing of living in another man’s shoes also.

Yes, the Church used to perform exocisms on epileptics. In Bible times they thought epilepsy was caused by demons. If you can’t see the parrallel with masturbation, I’m sorry for that, but yes, the Church has greatly softened it’s former hardline stance on the sin of masturbation. That’s based on greater understanding of human nature, physiology, and the power of brain chemicals and their influence on addiction. Yes, the early Church father’s did not have this understanding.

 

[corvidae]

While the stance may have softened, it is still wrong. However, the Church does know the addictiveness of certain sins, and how eventually it may seem that you cannot stop them. This does not mean they are not sins.

My suggestion to the OP is to work like everything depends on you, and pray like everything depends on God.

Then trust.

A lone Raven

 

[Sailboat]

I am trying to understand your feeling. You went to a face to face confession for some very private matter. Afterwards, the experience made you feel humiliated, sort of embarrassed. Though you know your sins were forgiven, because of the vulnerable approach, you felt worse.

You post the inner most matter online, but because your identity is hidden, you don’t feel humiliated. Am I right here?

If that is the case, next time, do the behind screen confession to avoid the embarrassment (less). For this past time, offer up your feeling of humiliation to God as part of your penance.

We are all human, if the feelings I described above is true, don’t dwell on them. Let them go.

Know that God loves you. He understands your struggles, He also wants you to be pure. Strive for purity with your prayers, Eucharist adoration, attending Mass, confession, and also do lot of exercises.

God bless you!

This post has very good advise. Alot of young people today don’t get enough exersise. Also, don’t go to face to face confession if you are embarrassed. I never do, I would find it totally unnerving. Everyone is different, that’s why the Church is understanding!

 

[Sailboat]

I never said that it wasn’t a sin, if you’ll read my posts. You know, the people at this site are just too much. Nobody bothers to read carefully, then they jump in with a quick judgement. As for me, I think what the Catechism has to say on the matter makes the most sense.

Now, this OP, it sounds as if he’s in youthful hormone overdrive. Everyone has a different hormonal makeup. For someone with a moderate sex drive to hastily judge a man with a lusty one, is not exactly fair. I’m in my late 40’s and could still make love every day, if we weren’t practicing NFP. Fortunately, I’ve learned to moderate my urges over the years, and I don’t masturbate, but I did struggle with sins of the flesh in my youth, as I’ve described. I’m thankful for my wonderful wife who is a great influence on me. I’d do anything for her.

 

[corvidae]

I apologize sailboat,
It seemed that people telling this young poster that he was sinning was what you were talking about. I apologize. Perhaps I need to read every post before replying, but usually I see something I want to reply to and reply.
Again, my apologies.

A lone Raven

 

[Mickey]

YOU are the one who choose to ignore the Church’s current teaching and **sit in judgement of your brother. **

You know, I’ve been posting awhile on this site and have seen alot of self-rightous people who seem to think they are more Catholic than the Pope. They know nothing of living in another man’s shoes also.

Oh my how very, very sad. I have judged no one. And you bear false witness by accusing me of such. Then you add insult to injury by implying that I am self-righteous and consider myself to be more Catholic than the Pope. Talk about lack of charity!

To the original poster: Many on the men on this forum have been in your situation and have conquered the demons you now face (including myself). Be watchful. Guard your thoughts. Continue to go to confession and receive the Holy Eucharist. And by all means, pray, pray, pray. You will get through this.

 

[InLight247]

FYI:
Once I watched Fr. John Corapi on EWTN addressing this topic.
He said that when you go to confession, you only need to say"I have been impure with myself," and the priest will know what you are pointing to.
I think Fr. Corapi’s teaching is very good.

God bless!

 

[Sailboat]

I apologize sailboat,
It seemed that people telling this young poster that he was sinning was what you were talking about. I apologize. Perhaps I need to read every post before replying, but usually I see something I want to reply to and reply.
Again, my apologies.

A lone Raven

Hi again. Thanks for the post.
I really appreciate it.

 

[Sailboat]

Oh my how very, very sad. I have judged no one. And you bear false witness by accusing me of such. Then you add insult to injury by implying that I am self-righteous and consider myself to be more Catholic than the Pope. Talk about lack of charity!

To the original poster: Many on the men on this forum have been in your situation and have conquered the demons you now face (including myself). Be watchful. Guard your thoughts. Continue to go to confession and receive the Holy Eucharist. And by all means, pray, pray, pray. You will get through this.

I thought you were done answering me? Let’s see if you can let this post go by, okay? Yes, you sound very self-rightous, like a guy who made a fortune telling some poor worker that if he only works hard and is a great entrepeneur like him, he too can get rich.

Well, it ain’t true my friend. Some people have greater challanges in life, and there’s no simple formula that applies to every person. Glad you don’t masturbate, but maybe the OP has different stressors in his life. Your advise to him is trite and not original.

Yes, it’s very hard, especially in this day and age with readily available, willing women, for a single man to stay pure sexually. My priest says that the Catechism clearly states that sins influenced by our passions are downgraded to venial. He says it’s in the Catechism. We can’t help it that we are creatures of passion. Everyone has a different weakness too.

 

[Mijoy2]

Njguy58, the confessional should be anonymous like these forums (if you so choose them to be).

I know nothing of your 3rd example but of the first two, they can be overcome. Keep going to confession and learn, to the best of your ability, why the church teaches these activities are sinful. (Christopher West books and tapes comes to mind).

I believe that possibly unlike some other weaknesses, this particular weakness you mention can be overcome to the point where you virtually are no longer ever tempted. Especially if the activity has become routine and a habit which can happen. It’ll take a certain period of time (during this time don’t be to hard on yourself) and you will overcome this. In the meantime, confess. Use the humiliation of the confession to work in your favor. Such as, Hmmm If I do this I have to confess it, maybe I’ll go for a bikeride or a run instead until the urge fades.
Or maybe say a rosary. Who can thoughts like these with a loving Mother nearby?

Simplistic maybe. But it CAN be overcome. And Good for you for working at it!! You’ll not only feel good about putting a bad habit behind you, you’ll feel free.

 

[Mickey]

I thought you were done answering me?

Not when I’m falsely accused.

Let’s see if you can let this post go by, okay? Yes, you sound very self-rightous, like a guy who made a fortune telling some poor worker that if he only works hard and is a great entrepeneur like him, he too can get rich.

As Ronald Reagan would say, “There you go again”.

Your advise to him is trite and not original.

Another example of Christian charity.

My priest says that the Catechism clearly states that sins influenced by our passions are downgraded to venial.

I never said anything about venial vs mortal sins. Why do you insist on putting words in my mouth? The CCC says the passions can “diminish the voluntary and free character of the offense”.

I find it sad and unfortunate that you have turned this into a personal attack because of the posting of a quote by one of the Church Fathers. And so that I am not tempted to respond to your attacks any further, you will now go on my ignore list.

May the peace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with you always.

 

[Sailboat]

Hey, I can’t believe it, I made it on to an ignore list by the above model of Christian charity. LOL! I’m so glad he told the whole world of his incredible temperance and self retraint!

 

[HailMary]

Well, recently, I made a list of like 20 sins or something, some of which I’ve never confessed before, some of which I don’t even know if they are sins. and confession was like 3 weeks ago… but
some of the possible more major ones are

1- Viewing Pornography
2- Masturbating
3- Accidently Astral Projecting?

After confession, I did not feel better, I felt so much worse. I mean I just talked to someone I don’t know about some of my most personal stuff. I was trying to feel good, but I couldn’t. WHY do I have to confess to a priest this kind of stuff? WHY doesn’t a 1 on 1 prayer wit h God work? He knows if you really mean what you say.

1- I’ve been able to avoid

2- I can’t stop. I’m 19 years old, I’m in no relationship right now, I can’t help it, and considering 90% of the race does this, as do animals, why would something that seems natural be a sin? Yeah there’s lustful thoughts, but I can have one without doing this. Ok so I’m using something God given for pleasure and not purpose, but that’s like saying eating a bowl of icecream is a sin because it’s for pleasure and not for purpose since our bodies do not really benefit from eating bowls of icecream. And if I don’t relieve myself, I can go for maybe a week before it really starts to interfere with my life. When I go to class lectures, lustful thoughts all over the place - supress them - ok, but then I use all my focus to supress these thoughts, so it still interferes.

3- I like to lucid dream. I want to make contact with my subconscience so I can learn more about myself, and also access memories deeply hidden not available to me right now. Sometimes, when I WILD, I seem to get “symtoms” or Astral Projection, only about 30% of the time - I get strong vibrations and it seriously feels like I leave my body. Though I don’t know if this a dream or if it’s the real deal. Though my WILDs always start with me in my room, is it safe to say I’m not on the “Astral Plane”?

That’s all.

Hello dear brother. Have recourse to Mary. She will help you, I guarantee it. Say the Rosary everyday and you will see changes. The changes take years to implement because those bad habits have been happening for a while right? Be reasonable. If you’ve been masturbating for 5 years non-stop it may very well take 5 years of confessing it to finally over-come it. Perservere brother.

Also, confession is not about “feeling” good about yourself. Its about acknowledging your sins before God and His Church. Its an act of the will, not some emotion that you need to feel good about.

God Bless.

 

[Sailboat]

Hi Mikey, you don’t know what I’m saying! LOL!

I wonder if he’ll get curious and unignore me to peek??? LOL. It really cracks me up! Sorry, I just can’t help it, it’s so funny!