So many annulments, what does this say about marriage?

[Jean_1958]

We are suposed to be married for better or for worse, the minute things get a little rough for some they run for an annullment, how can You say that these marriages never took place…

You have a misunderstading of annulments.

Annulments do not mean the marriage never happened, they mean the marriage was never valid from the start.

Peace,

Jean

 

[NoWhereMan]

Most people dont take their marriage vows seriously anyway, to have a wedding is just a lark for some. Yrs ago when people married they stayed together for better or for worse, they made sacrifice for the sake of their religion because they were serious about it. Today, no one is really serious about their religion, they fudge it all the way, they twist it to suit themselves. Why were these marriages not valid, they married in front of a Priest, in a Catholic church, they received the sacrament, they probably went thru pre cana, how was their marriage not valid. All couples, even Very Devout Catholics, of which there arent many will have some storm in their marriage. These people are seeking anulments at the drop of a hat, as far as I am concerned, it`s the same as divorce

 

[Alindawyl]

Most people dont take their marriage vows seriously anyway, to have a wedding is just a lark for some. Yrs ago when people married they stayed together for better or for worse, they made sacrifice for the sake of their religion because they were serious about it. Today, no one is really serious about their religion, they fudge it all the way, they twist it to suit themselves. Why were these marriages not valid, they married in front of a Priest, in a Catholic church, they received the sacrament, they probably went thru pre cana, how was their marriage not valid. All couples, even Very Devout Catholics, of which there arent many will have some storm in their marriage. These people are seeking anulments at the drop of a hat, as far as I am concerned, it`s the same as divorce

If most people truly don’t take their marriage vows seriously, then you should not be surprised at the number of annulments being granted.

Again I say, is the problem with the annulment process or is it with us? Are so many annulments being granted because the Church is granting them without justification, or because in the vast majority of the cases which come before the tribunal the couple were not truly committed to each other? Just because someone attended Pre-Cana and heard what was being said doesn’t mean they listened and accepted it. How many Catholics know the Church teaches that artificial birth control is wrong but use it anyway? They hear, but they do not listen.

For many years I was one who heard but did not listen. I was born in 1970 and catechised during a rather bleak time for the Church when it came to instruction in the faith. Most of my memories of Sunday school were the vague and touchy-feely “Jesus loves you” rather than “Here is what we believe and WHY we believe it.” The Pre-Cana I went through in 1994 was better than those Sunday school classes, but not by much.

Today I’m involved in the RCIA/RCIC program at my parish, and we’re presenting more substance to our catechumens in that one year than I received in nine years of Sunday school. Things are much better now, but the rot in our culture is also much stronger today and doing all it can to make the truth harder to hear.

 

[NoWhereMan]

If most people truly don’t take their marriage vows seriously, then you should not be surprised at the number of annulments being granted.

Again I say, is the problem with the annulment process or is it with us? Are so many annulments being granted because the Church is granting them without justification, or because in the vast majority of the cases which come before the tribunal the couple were not truly committed to each other? Just because someone attended Pre-Cana and heard what was being said doesn’t mean they listened and accepted it. How many Catholics know the Church teaches that artificial birth control is wrong but use it anyway? They hear, but they do not listen.

For many years I was one who heard but did not listen. I was born in 1970 and catechised during a rather bleak time for the Church when it came to instruction in the faith. Most of my memories of Sunday school were the vague and touchy-feely “Jesus loves you” rather than “Here is what we believe and WHY we believe it.” The Pre-Cana I went through in 1994 was better than those Sunday school classes, but not by much.

Today I’m involved in the RCIA/RCIC program at my parish, and we’re presenting more substance to our catechumens in that one year than I received in nine years of Sunday school. Things are much better now, but the rot in our culture is also much stronger today and doing all it can to make the truth harder to hear.

In this Hedonistic society, most people dont wanna hear anything, that would upset their comfort level, & probably there are still a lot of people who are not married, even tho they stood in front of the Altar & said I do. Nothing makes sense!

 

[Benadam]

How many young adults have no experiencial knowledge of life bound in the bonds of matrimony. They know what the words mean but know what the life is like, even what it looks like is unknown. I think it’s intuited by most people that the marital bond has become a challenge. A mystery too. The perception of marriage as being too difficult feeds the acceptance of cohabitation as an alternative or as a trial marriage. It’s almost as if people are there own tribunal now. They want to determine if their pairbond lives up to their expectations of matrimonial life. They want their pairbonds to be declared valid before they will involve the higher faculties and nobler purposes…

 

[NoWhereMan]

How many young adults have no experiencial knowledge of life bound in the bonds of matrimony. They know what the words mean but know what the life is like, even what it looks like is unknown. I think it’s intuited by most people that the marital bond has become a challenge. A mystery too. The perception of marriage as being too difficult feeds the acceptance of cohabitation as an alternative or as a trial marriage. It’s almost as if people are there own tribunal now. They want to determine if their pairbond lives up to their expectations of matrimonial life. They want their pairbonds to be declared valid before they will involve the higher faculties and nobler purposes…

But many of those cohabitors, if they did marry, it usually ends in divorce or anulment anyway
So maybe we should abolish marriage50%divorce, the other 40% would like to, about 10% of marriages are stable, Only my opinion

 

[firedrill157]

Since you list your religion as “etc” I assume you are not catholic. That being the case I suspect you need some enlightening.

No one in the Catholic church (at least in the US) can get an annulment until there has been a civil divorce. So your “Curve Ball” statement is incorrect.

As to the process being a “Sham”, there are many who feel that it is being applied too liberally. However it is difficult for any of us to say just which marriages have been improperly annulled. Only the persons involved know the particulars of each case.
It is up to the Church hierarchy to reviw the process and take appropriate corrective steps if problems are found.

Peace
James

 

[firedrill157]

firedrill157:
A proper and legalistic reply.

No matter how many explanations may be given, how can you get around “What God has joined…”?

We may be imperfect, but God’s joining is perfect.

 

[Benadam]

But many of those cohabitors, if they did marry, it usually ends in divorce or anulment anyway
So maybe we should abolish marriage50%divorce, the other 40% would like to, about 10% of marriages are stable, Only my opinion

The thing is, no matter how well intentioned, when people cohabitate to ‘try’ marriage, they become a husband or wife who would have sex outside of marriage. An obstacle to the trust and security required for the bond to grow in sacramental grace.

The key here is for true courtship to be the norm.

I don’t think we could abolish marriage, but living examples of the marital bond is a necessity for healthy marriages to become common again.

 

[Alindawyl]

A proper and legalistic reply.

No matter how many explanations may be given, how can you get around “What God has joined…”?

We may be imperfect, but God’s joining is perfect.

An annulment declares that God’s joining wasn’t present, that it was only a marriage in the eyes of the secular legal authority.

 

[yayi238]

Many here are saying the annulment process is hard and very trying.

Staying true to one’s vows in marriage can also be hard and trying, but that is what
you promised when you took those vows.

It seems that in America it is much easier for a Catholic to annul a Catholic marriage than in other countries. Why, I wonder.

How can the Church grant 2 and 3 annulments to the same person ?–I know of one woman who has received 3 annulments and is now in her 4th marriage. Maybe the Church should just say that she is not capable of entering into any marriage.

I sometimes think that American Catholics are too coddled.
We seem to think everything is disposable.