So many struggles please help

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kittycat13

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Hi, I’m an 18 year old girl and have been struggling with masturbation for as long as I can remember. I didn’t even know it was wrong until a few years ago and I have fought it ever since. This summer I got so sick of constantly giving in so I made great strides in overcoming it by saying a daily rosary, going to connfession very often, saying a divine mercy chaplet, and several other prayers. Also, I got a very Catholic boyfriend who I saw a lot and being with him really encouraged me to live purely, since we supported each other so much. Now he’s back at school and I’m feeling very lonely and I have gone back to masturbation.

I am DEVASTATED. I’m still praying but in the last three days I have done it four times, not to mention countless impure thoughts. It’s almost as if I have no control over myself to hold back. As soon as the thoughts enter my head I can not push them out even if I try and once the thoughts are there the actions soon follow! I just went to confession a few days ago, but sinned right after. I’m disgusted with myself. I would go to Confession right now if I could, but I live in a rural area and I know I won’t get the chance to go for awhile! 😦

I know I’m at the time during the month when my hormones are raging, so that’s definitely part of it. And being lonely doesn’t help me either! I’m just begging you all for prayers and advice. I am so saddned with myself and I feel like I have no control over myself. Is what I did a mortal sin? I know it’s wrong and I did it anyway but my body had more control over me than my mind? Please help, I am starting to hate myself for this and I have struggled with scruples as well, so I’m just a mess. I’m terrified of God punishing me…because I keep promising him I’ll stop, then I go and do it again!
 
Father God, I pray that your Holy Spirit would manifest it’s fruit of self-control in kittycat13’s life. Please strengthen her so that she may overcome this. In Jesus’ name. Amen.

As I’m sure you know, each time you give in, this habit becomes more in-grained. Don’t give in to the temptation of saying to yourself oh well, I’ve already fallen off the wagon so I might as well continue doing this until my next confession. Resist, resist, resist! I know this is hard. I think most people have struggled with this at one point in their lives. What’s important is that you recognize that it is not pleasing to God and want to change. Those are good things. Be encouraged!

What I do when I have this type of temptation is to make the Sign of the Cross with holy water. I ask God for strength. I pray the St. Benedict prayer - “May the holy cross be my light, may the dragon never be my overlord. Begone Satan, never tempt me with your vanities. What you offer me is evil, drink the poison yourself.” (write it down on a sheet of paper until you have it memorized, it’s a powerful prayer). If all else fails, I just look at my hand and then think to myself, am I really going to use my hand to do this and then use this same hand later to make the Sign of the Cross? Not good.

Stay strong. God loves you ❤️
 
Prayer against Every Evil
Spirit of our God, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, Most Holy Trinity, Immaculate Virgin Mary, angels, archangels, and saints of heaven, descend upon me.
Please purify me, Lord, mold me, fill me with yourself, use me.
Banish all the forces of evil from me, destroy them, vanquish them, so that I can be healthy and do good deeds.
Banish from me all spells, witchcraft, black magic, malefice, ties, maledictions, and the evil eye; diabolic infestations, oppressions, possessions; all that is evil and sinful, jealousy, perfidy, envy; physical, psychological, moral, spiritual, diabolical ailments.
Burn all these evils in hell, that they may never again touch me or any other creature in the entire world.
I command and bid all the powers who molest me - by the power of God all powerful, in the name of Jesus Christ our Savior, through the intercession of the Immaculate Virgin Mary - to leave me forever, and to be consigned into the everlasting hell, where they will be bound by Saint Michael the archangel, Saint Gabriel, Saint Raphael, our guardian angels, and where they will be crushed under the heel of the Immaculate Virgin Mary.

Amen.
 
I will remember your intentions in my prayers.

Know that you are not alone in your struggle and that God wants all of us to be saved. Despair is the devil’s weapon. Run to God every time you fall.
 
You are at an age that is very hard, as I’m sure a lot of us would willingly agree, where your hormones ARE raging.

Somebody on the forum was saying how there are 3 stages of sin…First, it’s…I forget what…just thoughts, probably. Next, it’s a habit. Next, it becomes an addiction.

As a woman, I found even such things as tampons seemed like they made the issue of resisting more difficult, actually.

I think it is also possibly emotional, that we might feel that we don’t have enough love in our lives and need to compensate to make up for this loss. However, masturbation, near as I can tell, does NOT decrease desire. If anything, I think it probably only increases it! It’s a little like trying to put out a fire using gasoline.

Yes, I remember there used to be 3 days out of every month I couldn’t even sleep due to hormones! If there had been a pill to stop it, I think I would have taken it!

When you have these thoughts, try to “nip it in the bud”. Stop the thoughts! How does one do that? Okay…thought comes…you have the choice to accept this or reject it…resist. Ways to resist…pray…get up…walk around…ANYTHING that will break this thought! Do it, at the MOMENT it is occuring!

If you have a thought…it’s just an impure thought. If you keep it, dwell on it, think about it…minutes…hours…then, it’s to a point it’s an impure desire…more serious.
 
Hi,

What I do when I think impure thoughts is I immediately think about anything else. For example if I’m in the kitchen, I just stare at the cookie jar and think ‘cookies, ‘c’, candles, fire, that reminds me of a story I have to write…’ and so on.

Otherwise I can personally inform the Tempter out loud that he is going to fail, that I am strong enough to resist him.

Or I do situps 🙂

Good luck
 
SybilMolly said:
Hi,

What I do when I think impure thoughts is I immediately think about anything else. For example if I’m in the kitchen, I just stare at the cookie jar and think ‘cookies, ‘c’, candles, fire, that reminds me of a story I have to write…’ and so on.

Otherwise I can personally inform the Tempter out loud that he is going to fail, that I am strong enough to resist him.

Or I do situps 🙂

Good luck
Click to expand...
:rotfl:Good one!
 
I was looking for this post, because there’s something else I remembered. You said you were feeling lonely, because your boyfriend wasn’t around. Why not try to develop other friendships…with other young ladies your age?

Often, we think guys are the center of the universe (but they’re not!) . 😉 Your relationship, even with your boyfriend, will benefit from your having more friendships of your same sex. What it does it will even make you very interesting. So, when you do see him, when he asks you, “What have you been doing?” Instead of saying, “Waiting here for you!”, you can say…“Oh, I went to a movie with my friend…we saw…x… We did…x”. It makes you VERY interesting, a lot of interests.

Or, even if you don’t go out with friends, you can simply develop interests…reading…sports…hobbies…activities, events. This will also cut down on the loneliness factor. I think women are even more attractive to men when they’re all happy, active, busy. many interests.

They say, “Idleness is the devil’s workshop”. If you are having trouble with sin, keep busy! Don’t give the devil time to work on you. King David fell into sin, with a woman, due to not being busy enough!
 
Lord, please grant kittycat13 many graces for fortitude, courage, wisdom, magnanimity, faith, hope, and love. Send angels to guard her in the face of every temptation, to scatter any tempting devils far from her, to protect her in God’s grace. Cultivate in her a disposition and strength to follow the will of the Father, to understand the dignity of the body, and the value in chastity. Accept her contrition in union with the cries of all the penitent, such as the humble tax collector of scripture. Have mercy, Lord. Our Lady, angels, and saints, pray with us. Amen.

May I also share this quote from C.S. Lewis. It refers to men in the phrase “imaginary brides,” but the reasoning here would also apply to a woman who may imagine “imaginary husbands.” God bless you for striving to confess. It is the right thing to do whenever you fall. You can get back up again. :o

For me the real evil of masturbation would be that it takes an appetite which, in lawful use, leads the individual out of himself to complete (and correct) his own personality in that of another (and finally in children and even grandchildren) and turns it back; sends the man back into the prison of himself, there to keep a harem of imaginary brides.

And this harem, once admitted, works against his ever getting out and really uniting with a real woman.

For the harem is always accessible, always subservient, calls for no sacrifices or adjustments, and can be endowed with erotic and psychological attractions which no woman can rival.

Among those shadowy brides he is always adored, always the perfect lover; no demand is made on his unselfishness, no mortification ever imposed on his vanity.

In the end, they become merely the medium through which he increasingly adores himself…After all, almost the main work of life is to come out of our selves, out of the little dark prison we are all born in. Masturbation is to be avoided as all things are to be avoided which retard this process. The danger is that of coming to love the prison.”
  • Personal Letter From Lewis to Keith Masson (found in The Collected Letters of C.S. Lewis, Volume 3)Courtesy of Matt Fradd’s blog.[/indent]
 
Our Father who art in Heaven, hallowed be thy name.
Thy kingdom come, thy will be done on Earth as it is in Heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread.
And forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us.
And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.
Amen.
 
hey you are not alone! im struggling with the same thing. ive noticed that going to confession has helped me alot. also just keep praying and asking God for help. I will keep you in my prayers. God bless 🙂
 
I’m praying for you. Know that you are not alone in your struggles.

God bless
 
Thank you so much everyone. God Bless you all. This means so much! <3 I needed to hear all this. Thank you.
 
Said on your behalf, God bless and keep persevering.

Father,
May I always remember
that all the parts of my body are good because You made them,
that my body does not belong to me but to You,
Who bought it at my Baptism
at the price of Christ’s Cross
and that my body is the living temple of the Holy Spirit.
Give me self-control over my passions, appetites and imaginations;
give me respect for the opposite sex
and esteem for my own;
create in me that wholeness and integrity
that all my powers may be consecrated to Your service
according to my state in life.
May Mary, the Blessed Virgin Mother,
watch over me through Christ our Lord.
Amen.
 
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