So much anxiety!

[Maggie1234]

This is so silly. I have been dating this wonderful Catholic man (goes to Mass, believes the Church’s teaching on premarital sex and birth control etc) for about five months. We are in love and have told each other so. Everything is going great, but he just invited me to meet his family at a graduation party on Friday! This is his mother’s entire side of the family.

Now that’s wonderful right? A great new step in our relationship? And yet I am scared to death. I am not the most outgoing person or very good at meeting new people, I tend to clam up and not talk a lot. And of course I want to make a good impression with his parents, grandparents etc. because I see a sacramental future with their son. What I am saying is that I am pure undiluted awkwardness and I am worried this event is going to be a painful, uncomfortable disaster… does anyone have any tips? Any reassuring words? Patron saints I could enlist? What was it like when you “met the parents,” is it expected that I’ll be nervous or will they be expecting a normal social butterfly. Argh. Why am I so neurotic!

 

[Liraco]

I’m also a mess, I still get nervous despite 6 years with my girlfriend, but I always get through it just fine.

Just be yourself, be polite and smile! It’s normal to be nervous and they’ll surely understand that. As long as you’re not being mean to people they’ll surely like you.

Say hello to people and make sure your boyfriend doesn’t leave you alone until you’ve at least said hi to all of them. You don’t have to remember everyone’s names.

There’s always the usual topics like “what do you do?”, “do you currently study anything?”, “what are your interest/hobbies?” and just try to find links with some people. If someone starts a conversation with you, don’t give short and dry answers, try to explain and talk about things and see where the topic goes from there.

At the very least, just be kind to everyone even if you don’t talk to them and tell your boyfriend not to leave you for this first time unless it’s really necessary (or you find yourself striking up a big conversation with others).

Don’t worry, you’ll be fine! It’s him you’re thinking of marrying anyway, not everyone else. If he likes you, they’ll like you.

 

[TigerKitty]

Maggie -

Not sure how old you are, as you didn’t mention it in your post. I have a few different bits of advice to share with you:

Don’t get too involved too quickly (if you’re still in high school, don’t jump into marriage too quickly - don’t even think about it until you’ve had a chance to explore your dreams and decide what you want in life.)

Make sure you really, really, REALLY get to know this guy. Getting to know his family is an important step.

Friday will be a chance to see how he interacts with his family. In general, if he’s open and easy-going with his family, that is a very good sign. If he’s distant and standoff-ish, then this can be a red flag. Remember: just because someone SAYS they believe the church’s teachings, doesn’t mean they actually DO! (unfortunately)

That being said - try to relax and enjoy meeting his family on Friday. Almost EVERYONE is nervous meeting new people. You’re not going to the party alone, he will be with you, and so he can help introduce you to people. Good luck!!!

Oh, and one thing I do when I’m trying to make small talk and I’m really nervous is to comment on something unique/interesting in the room or about the food. That ususally gets the other person talking and I can just relax and listen.

 

[Eucharisted]

Two things.

One, a wonderful Catholic isn’t someone who goes to Mass, believes what the Church believes, prays a lot, etc. A wonderful Catholic is someone who loves God and his neighbor.

Two, nervousness is human nature and is to be expect, so don’t worry about it. Even Jesus was anxious - remember, in the garden, when He asked His Abba to take the cup away? Just trust in Him and be yourself.

 

[Em_in_FL]

Be at peace - it isn’t a test. He’s probably just excited to introduce you to his family.
Just smile and be yourself! If you’re nervous about talking, just ask questions!
What was he like as a child? Ask about funny family stories… and share your own. Keep the meeting light and cheerful!

Good luck!

 

[Rascalking]

If it helps at all, virtually all of us have been there before!

As corny as it sounds, be yourself! Most people can tell when others are trying to be something their not.

Relax and have a good time! Good luck!

 

[Serap]

I was nervous too and it was around the same point in the relationship that you guys are in.

You got some negative feedback in previous posts…just follow your own gut and don’t jinx yourself. Believe in yourself that you can pick a good guy to fall in-love with. That’s what dating is for; to make sure someone is right for you.

What I did for my now MIL, was I brought her a beautiful bouquet of flowers and I won her over instantly You could do that for his mother and grandmother (if she will be there). It makes a great first impression and shows that you really love their son/grandson.

Be yourself…if you’re shy, that’s ok. Don’t force conversation if you feel silly. Just smile and be yourself. They will look to see how you interact with your boyfriend. If they see that he’s happy, then they will be happy too.

You will do great!!!