C
ccmcmg
Guest
TL: DR at bottom
I love the resources we have online, and I have learned a lot, especially here at CAF.But there is SO much to learn, to know. I grew up in a small rural parish (SMALL, very few Catholics), where we went to Mass, and had a LITTLE catechism (just slightly above none). I fell away and came back, again while in a small rural area. That involved becoming a lector, cantor, serving on councils, etc, in a wonderful and traditional parish. However, again, we went to Mass and followed the ‘rules’ of the Faith, but there wasn’t enrichment.
I’m back (again, and to STAY) but I’m getting overwhelmed. There is so much to know, so much it feels like I should be doing and know about my Faith. I’ve always known, worshipped, loved God, Jesus and Holy Spirit; loved Mary, the Saints, and asked for prayers from our dearly departed.
But now I’m finding out there is more; I always knew the Church had many rich traditions and facts. I can’t keep up. I’m taking a Catechism class (this section finishes tonight), and reading the Bible, books on Catholicism, and praying the Rosary.
Then I read on here or elsewhere, all these things that are WAAAAY above my head, and I’m not stupid; I’ve just never heard of much of this, let alone practiced or believed in it, or know how to approach it. I feel like I’m failing as a Catholic, and have no right to be one if I don’t know everything about my Faith. I CAN say that I believe and profess the Creed completely, and practice the Sacraments. I don’t doubt my Faith, only that I am good enough for it, or deserve it. I’m NOT envious of those that understand all this at all; I’m happy for them, but down on myself because I don’t understand a LOT of it.
On a sidenote, I do have OCD among other things, that makes me want things PERFECT sometimes, or not have them at all, and sometimes, that means NOW. I need patience, I need humility, I need help. God understands, right, when you have failings, physical or mental, beyond your control that causes things like this right? Please please please don’t be harsh on me. My faith in God is strong; it is the faith in myself that is not. It’s hard feeling like a failure in the most important thing in the universe, to put it mildly. Help me to overcome these feelings, these trappings of Satan. Guess I just need some reassurance that it’s okay where I’m at in my journey.
TL: DR: Overwhelmed at the depth of the Catholic Faith, although I’m 100% Catholic; feeling like a failure as a Catholic for not knowing about all this stuff
Thank you and God bless.
Christina