So very confused

[Monica4316]

Hi,

I’m going through a really difficult time in my faith. I don’t know what to do I am here to request your prayers… please pray for me that God would have mercy on me. I’ve been struggling in so many ways since the summer.

Today, I was on another forum and as I was about to go, I felt like I should go visit the charismatic section of the forum… I have not visited anything except the Catholic or the Orthodox sections for a long time. I went there and clicked on a thread that had this story, which I will link below. Previous to this, I was very confused if I should be Catholic or Orthodox, and for the past several days, I’ve felt like I have a sin on my soul that I am not seeing clearly and I’ve been praying for repentance… now, after reading this story, I am even more confused. It talks about the rapture, and Catholics worshipping idols, and Pope John Paul II being in hell. It’s a story of a girl who died and saw Jesus, Heaven, and hell. I know that there are TONS of stories like this everywhere… especially on the internet… and I even heard near death experience stories where people were told that there is no hell, no sin, etc. So I completely realize how unreliable they are. But I feel so confused and so far from God that this really shook my faith. I’ve been praying for a while now trying to repent of all the possible times I have committed idolatry by bowing before images, praying to Mary, hoping in her help for my salvation, etc, - but I know that when I did those things, I never meant to worship, only to venerate, and I have always believed in Jesus as my Saviour… however if He shows me that I was wrong, i will repent, I don’t want to lose Him.

I really don’t undertand, because I’ve read many MANY stories of people experiencing miracles of conversion, etc, because of Mary… and stories from the lives of the Saints… I can’t figure out, - what is the truth? Should I be Catholic, Orthodox, or (now) Protestant? I believe in the Eucharist though…

here is the story: spiritlessons.com/Documents/Prepare_to_meet_your_God/index.htm

I don’t get it, cause I’ve read so many equally valid stories that say the exact opposite! who is deceived? If this girl is wrong, what did she experience? I don’t believe that the devil would ever tell people to repent of sin… yet both Jesus in this story and Mary in various apparitions talk about repentance - which one is the valid apparition?

I know we should focus on public revelation but at this point, I don’t even know if I’m supposed to just focus on the Bible…

please pray for me, I feel like I don’t know what the truth is, and I can’t find God, I feel SO far from Him, and can’t seem to repent of anything this has been going on for such a long time. I haven’t even received the Eucharist since the summer, after I had a difficult experience with it and maybe received unworthily by mistake. I’ve been going to Confession but not Communion.

 

[joanofarc2008]

Personal revelations are not to be believed or regarded as true unless they are approved by the Magisterium. This is because often times these revelations can come from other places other than the divine - not necessarily Satan (but they can) but also our own psychology. What is to say that maybe a girl (I do not know this person so it would be uncharitable of me to say anything about htis person) has had a negative experience with a priest or a person representing the Church. That experience manifests itself into something that is negative against the Church. It is the subconcious way of working the “bugs” out. This is why the Vatican has locutionists that look at these things and decipher which are true and which are not.

As far as praying to Saints - we do not pray to Saints. We ask for their intercession. It is no different then asking someone at Church to pray for you. There is plenty of Biblical evidence to support the whole prayer of the Hail Mary - you can find it in the CCC.

As far as whether you may be Catholic or Orthodox - at this point - I believe that still is a matter of baptism - if you are baptized Catholic it has left an indellible mark on your soul and you will be Catholic for life. As it is the 1000 year schism most likely will be ending so there really will be one Church in our lifetime by the Will of God - hopefully.

I know this is kind of broad strokes but you seemed really grasping and I wanted to toss you something.

 

[baltobetsy]

There is only one spiritual answer to all these problems. That is obedience. You need to have a spiritual director or regular confessor with whom you are completely candid. You need to not assign to yourself guilt for sins you are doubtful about and then just confess them, but rather explain them as you do on this board so the priest can be truly helpful to you. For example, don’t confess idolatry with no explanation - tell the whole story of all your confusion so the priest can judge properly.

Aren’t you going to an FSSP parish now? Don’t you trust the priests? Pick one and make an appointment and keep it. Ask the Holy Spirit to guide both of you to understand the whole situation and deal with it in the way that pleases God.

In the past, you have rejected the idea of medical help on the grounds that these are spiritual problems and a doctor could not understand them. Please be consistent with what you yourself have said and submit your spiritual problems (in full! in detail!!) to a spiritual expert.

 

[PatrickSebast]

Well part of the reason that story may have had more effect on you is because it actually uses legitimate story telling techniques where as most other stories you have probably read simply come off as a sort of crazed rant. Not only that but the story doesn’t really get into any of the anti-Catholic stuff until it has already made some attempts to attach you to the characters.

Now I don’t want to make it sound like I am accusing these people of writing something purposely manipulative, it could be very possible that they honestly believe this and just used a better technique for telling their story than most but their intent isn’t really the important matter here anyway. There are lots of stories from various Saints and other Catholics where the church is claimed as positive so obviously a story on its own isn’t enough to make a proper decision. When making decisions of this magnitude you must always include your God-given intellect and make practical and deductive choices, if you rely on emotions then your position will never be solid unless it is one of emotional dependence. A faith built on a stable well reasoned set of choices is far more stable and better able to serve than one built on a platform of emotions.

Imagine it like a relationship with a significant other, early in the relationship you have to be much more guarded, giving trust away to some man just because you have strong feelings for him can land you in a terrible and possibly abusive relationship. Simply put, while the heart is important in matters of faith, not all discernment can or should come from it. God gave us more than a heart and his intent is for us to use all of our gifts, not just the strongest or most compelling ones. If you are having mixed emotions you need to look to your head rather than your heart and see what makes the most sense to you intellectually, finally any confusion past that point is a matter of prayer and honest seeking, even if the answer doesn’t come quickly you need to have faith that Christ will never abandon a lost member of his flock.

Other than that I would also like to ask if you have actively involved yourself in a community yet. While it is good to share your burdens here with us, a burden that has been going on this long would be better shared with someone you can speak to on a personal level. It seems especially true judging from what little I can gleam of your personality that you would benefit very strongly from having some available as a more constant emotional support than this forum can provide. Don’t take that as gospel or anything, I’m no psychologist, nor am I especially aware of your personal needs, but I think at the very least we can agree that the bible is pretty clear on the idea of faith being a communal thing.

Finally, once you have gone to confession and explained your worries you are FREE. If you believe in the Eucharist then go to communion. God’s greatest gift is waiting for you every mass, Christ is standing there with outstretched arms wanting to embrace you. If you believe and you are free of mortal sin, then that is all that is required. Don’t worry about something as silly as an accident that may not even have happened, a far greater error is being made in avoiding your chance at receiving something as powerful as Christ’s body when you are in such a state. If you don’t want to listen to anything else I said in this post I don’t even care as long as you go to communion as soon as possible.

 

[Sirach2]

Your problem, it seems to me, is that you do far too much internet reading. All of these conflicting ideas and opinions serve to create more and more doubt. Today, I believe this, next week, I’ll believe that, etc. Meanwhile, I’ll ask forum members for opinions and then try to sort all of them out as to who gives the best answer - but only until I read another opinion that sets it aside.

Do you see your problem? I see no solution for you unless you resolve to discipline your eyes with regard to letting them read indiscriminately. Maybe lent is a good time to fast from heavy internet traffic and get down to basics. I have noticed many of the blogs and sites you frequent are the very root of creating all these doubts.

I remember when I was first converting. Thank God there was no internet, but there were a lot of books that could have sent me reeling. I decided to read only the works of saints and listen only to the Church. My foundation was buit on rock, rather than on hundreds of conflicting opinions.

 

[crystal_waters]

Hi,

I’m going through a really difficult time in my faith. I don’t know what to do I am here to request your prayers… please pray for me that God would have mercy on me. I’ve been struggling in so many ways since the summer.

Today, I was on another forum and as I was about to go, I felt like I should go visit the charismatic section of the forum… I have not visited anything except the Catholic or the Orthodox sections for a long time. I went there and clicked on a thread that had this story, which I will link below. Previous to this, I was very confused if I should be Catholic or Orthodox, and for the past several days, I’ve felt like I have a sin on my soul that I am not seeing clearly and I’ve been praying for repentance… now, after reading this story, I am even more confused. It talks about the rapture, and Catholics worshipping idols, and Pope John Paul II being in hell. It’s a story of a girl who died and saw Jesus, Heaven, and hell. I know that there are TONS of stories like this everywhere… especially on the internet… and I even heard near death experience stories where people were told that there is no hell, no sin, etc. So I completely realize how unreliable they are. But I feel so confused and so far from God that this really shook my faith. I’ve been praying for a while now trying to repent of all the possible times I have committed idolatry by bowing before images, praying to Mary, hoping in her help for my salvation, etc, - but I know that when I did those things, I never meant to worship, only to venerate, and I have always believed in Jesus as my Saviour… however if He shows me that I was wrong, i will repent, I don’t want to lose Him.

I really don’t undertand, because I’ve read many MANY stories of people experiencing miracles of conversion, etc, because of Mary… and stories from the lives of the Saints… I can’t figure out, - what is the truth? Should I be Catholic, Orthodox, or (now) Protestant? I believe in the Eucharist though…

here is the story: spiritlessons.com/Documents/Prepare_to_meet_your_God/index.htm

I don’t get it, cause I’ve read so many equally valid stories that say the exact opposite! who is deceived? If this girl is wrong, what did she experience? I don’t believe that the devil would ever tell people to repent of sin… yet both Jesus in this story and Mary in various apparitions talk about repentance - which one is the valid apparition?

I know we should focus on public revelation but at this point, I don’t even know if I’m supposed to just focus on the Bible…

please pray for me, I feel like I don’t know what the truth is, and I can’t find God, I feel SO far from Him, and can’t seem to repent of anything this has been going on for such a long time. I haven’t even received the Eucharist since the summer, after I had a difficult experience with it and maybe received unworthily by mistake. I’ve been going to Confession but not Communion.

i dont know if i believe this vision…it doesnt sound like the merciful jesus from the bible or even the merciful jesus from the divine mercy and sacred heart devotions…the jesus in this vision doesnt seem as merciful…i don’t believe pope john paul 2 is in hell…his beatification is on may 1st…to be beatified he would have had to pray and intercede to god for miracles for somebody…these miracles then will have been extensively investigated by the vatican…i also think it sounds shady the way it says that mother mary doesnt know anything that is going on in the world, and that we shouldnt turn to the saints for their prayers and intwercession…it sounds like it is trying to pull us away from everything while at the same time filling us with despair that theres little hope for being saved…jesus would never do that to us!

i honestly think that maybe the girl did see something…but to me it doesnt sound like jesus…

 

[Monica4316]

Thanks for the replies everyone…

I think what worries me most is what happened to me before / after reading this story… I never go to that forum, but I really felt like I should, and then I found this story there. And then afterwards, I asked God that if it’s true, I would open the Bible to a page about idolatry, and it opened to that page. I don’t know…I guess things like that can come not only from God. I mean there are so many stories that DO support the Catholic faith that seem equally if not more valid. And I’ve had my own experiences with Mary and the Saints. But I was feeling confused before so maybe that contributed. I’m really not sure what to think still

 

[JimR-OCDS]

Confusion is the work of the devil and he’s working it through internet forums.

Its not going to be easy, but I highly recommend giving up all Catholic and Christian internet forums during Lent.

Instead, immerse yourself in prayer and seek closer union with Jesus.

Jim

 

[crystal_waters]

Thanks for the replies everyone…

I think what worries me most is what happened to me before / after reading this story… I never go to that forum, but I really felt like I should, and then I found this story there. And then afterwards, I asked God that if it’s true, I would open the Bible to a page about idolatry, and it opened to that page. I don’t know…I guess things like that can come not only from God. I mean there are so many stories that DO support the Catholic faith that seem equally if not more valid. And I’ve had my own experiences with Mary and the Saints. But I was feeling confused before so maybe that contributed. I’m really not sure what to think still

the bible opened at that page because that is the page YOU opened it at not god…

 

[dailey]

I just clicked on the link you provided and quickly skimmed through the story. One thing that jumped out at me was when she saw Selena and how she was begging for Jesus to help her?? That makes no sense?? If she were in hell, she would not be able to pray and long for God (from everything I have read).

Stay away from this type of junk. If you are looking for something to read, then click on the link I am providing. Blessed Alexandrina’s story is beautiful and the TRUTH… mysticsofthechurch.com/2009/11/blessed-alexandrina-da-costa-mystic-and.html

 

[crystal_waters]

I just clicked on the link you provided and quickly skimmed through the story. One thing that jumped out at me was when she saw Selena and how she was begging for Jesus to help her?? That makes no sense?? If she were in hell, she would not be able to pray and long for God (from everything I have read).

Stay away from this type of junk. If you are looking for something to read, then click on the link I am providing. Blessed Alexandrina’s story is beautiful and the TRUTH… mysticsofthechurch.com/2009/11/blessed-alexandrina-da-costa-mystic-and.html

thats what put up a red flag for me too…souls who go to hell have turned their back on god…they dont want his mercy…they certainly wouldnt be praying to god from hell…if they were praying like that and that desperate for his mercy then jesus wouldnt have sent them there in the first place…i notice how theres nothing about the churches stance on this…if you want to know about jesus…then read about him in the bible, and if you want to add to that then look at church approved visions like the sacred heart and divine mercy devotions…i certainly wouldnt change my whole faith and belief just cos some girl in another country says she had a vision…she could be lying…she could have had a vision but it could have been evil masquarading as a vision of jesus to fool her…

 

[EmeraldWings]

(Post 1 of 2)

I don’t get it, cause I’ve read so many equally valid stories that say the exact opposite! who is deceived? If this girl is wrong, what did she experience? I don’t believe that the devil would ever tell people to repent of sin… yet both Jesus in this story and Mary in various apparitions talk about repentance - which one is the valid apparition?

The devil most certainly would tell people to repent of their sins, and many other good things and Gods truths, if it meant deceiving us in other ways,
if the devil could make us believe some lie by also throwing in other truths, then he most certainly would, and he has!
so don’t let this fool you,
not only are we not aloud to try and guess or decide who is in hell, but God would not reveal that to us either,

the only answer i can give you about these apparitions is, forget about them, if they can fool you this easily, then don’t bother with any of them, whether they are true or not, because you are not going to risk your soul by not believing in them, but as you can see, you most certainly are risking your soul by just reading them,
God has given you everything you need for the salvation of your soul in the bible and in His church, so listen to them and forget about anything else, atleast for now, because you don’t need the confusion, you need to grow much more in your faith and learn the teachings of the church much more before you should let yourself read and consider these apparitions, although, i would not even read them myself unless they were church approved,

as for worshiping Our Lady and the saints? well first of all, worship itself is not something we give to God alone, adoration is what we give to God alone,
worship is a correlation of the word “worth-ship” which is to mean, acknowledging someones worth, and that is something we do not just for those in heaven, but those on earth as well, such as when you applaud a singer or actor on stage, or when you give a gift to someone you love, by doing those things you are acknowledging their worth, and there’s nothing wrong with that, it is a good thing that God is pleased with, because He loves us and He wants us to love each other,
the problem with this whole “Catholics worship statues and images!, etc” is that it’s really just taken to far, almost to a point of being radical, when in all truth, the word is just greatly misused and misunderstood,
God wants us to help each other and interact and communicate with each other, because that’s the way He made us to be, we are creatures of interaction, and does that stop when we go to heaven? not at all! instead it becomes more perfect! there is a greater and more beautiful form of communication and interaction in heaven, and between heaven and us, and us and heaven,
so do not let this disturb you, just remember that adoration is the worship given to God alone, it is the recognition of God’s infinite perfection, by which we pray or ask for divine help, and sacrifice or offer something precious to God,
and veneration is given to the angels and saints, in which they are honored for their sanctity, asked to intercede before the divine Majesty, and imitated in their love and service of God,
does anything there sound bad or somehow depriving God of what belongs to Him alone?
put your fears aside, and trust that God would not make these things so difficult to understand, God wants us to be able to know His truth and follow Him by the most easy means possible, and that is why He has given us His church, which He promised - “And I say to thee: That thou art Peter; and upon this rock I will build my church, and the gates of hell shall not prevail against it.”
Jesus would not break a promise, have faith.

 

[EmeraldWings]

(Post 2 of 2)

and remember that the Catholic religion is the first Christian religion, and all the other Christan religions out there broke off from the Catholic one,
so all those other religions are man made, while the Catholic religion is the only one made by God out of all those other Christian religions,
so now ask yourself, wouldn’t God know better than anyone else how to make a permanent religion, that if not even hell could prevail against it, then man could not either?
there is corruption in the church yes, but what religion does not have corruption in it’s members? the reason there is corruption in our church or any other is simply because man is corrupt, there’s no getting around it, but the Catholic Church in and of itself is the perfect and un-spotted bride of Christ, through which God wants to teach us His truth, but is it Gods fault of the church when man errs? no!
God knew well enough that if He was going to gain our trust in believing in His church, that He would have to give it to us Himself, because man just cannot be trusted that far, and so all these people who are confusing you, there is no foundation behind their claims, have they earned your trust?
God has given us more than enough miracles to make us believe in the Catholic church, but where are all these other religions miracles?
we have Fatima, Lourdes, Guadeloupe, hundreds of others, thousands of Eucharistic miracles, hundreds of incorruptible(or partly incorruptible) saints, millions of miracles by the saints throughout history, millions of cures of body and spirit, and so much more,
the Catholic church is greatly founded on it’s miracles, and there are just to many of them to ignore or dismiss, and ask yourself, what other religion has anything like that? none.

my advice to you is, get yourself away from those forums and stories, get yourself a spiritual director! one from the FSSP would be perfect for you, just listen to their sermons if you need the motivation - www.audiosancto.org
get to church and confess all of this to your confessor, and then go to communion, your soul is starving and weak from not receiving, and so it’s no wonder that this is disturbing you so much,
and just get a better Catholic education, strengthen your faith and pray for more faith and guidance in learning your religion better,
God would not make His truth so confusing, it is the devil that is deceiving you, so get away from those things right away, and if need be, take a break from the internet for awhile,
lent is just a couple days away also, why not make this lent a special time of getting away from the world, and trying to get closer to God, maybe spend some time each day in silence with God somewhere you won’t be distracted by the world, such as church,
and if you want me to recommend some books for reading during lent, i would recommend these -
tanbooks.com/index.php/page/shop:flypage/product_id/261
tanbooks.com/index.php/page/shop:flypage/product_id/827
tanbooks.com/index.php/Passion-of-Jesus-Its-Hidden-Meaning
tanbooks.com/index.php/Treatise-on-Prayer-Meditation

some of those are in e-book form on there as well,

alright? i really hope this helps, and if you have any other questions or concerns, please ask,
ok, take care, i’ll keep you in my prayers.

 

[Monica4316]

I am going to go to Adoration and pray about all this…

There are two near death experiences that are very different (and Catholic)
christtotheworld.blogspot.com/2009/08/near-death-experience-of-catholic.html
catholicforum.fisheaters.com/index.php?topic=2817859.0

here, it does not seem that Mary is unaware of anything happening on earth…

I just wanted to clarify, it IS Catholic teaching that only Jesus saves us, correct? that is what I believe, I just respect/venerate Mary and the Saints and ask them to help me love Jesus more… but I know Jesus is the one who saves us… if however He doesn’t want me to do this then I’ll give it up… but I just want to know. If the Catholic teaching is true then of course I want to follow it.

 

[Monica4316]

I just clicked on the link you provided and quickly skimmed through the story. One thing that jumped out at me was when she saw Selena and how she was begging for Jesus to help her?? That makes no sense?? If she were in hell, she would not be able to pray and long for God (from everything I have read).

Stay away from this type of junk. If you are looking for something to read, then click on the link I am providing. Blessed Alexandrina’s story is beautiful and the TRUTH… mysticsofthechurch.com/2009/11/blessed-alexandrina-da-costa-mystic-and.html

wow that is really beautiful

 

[Monica4316]

thank you for all the advice… I will try to just spend time praying (and receiving the Sacraments; hopefully I’ll be able to speak with my priest). I’m just really afraid because if that story is true, then I really need to repent of venerating Mary, statues, praying to her etc. If it’s not, then clearly I don’t need to. I hope God would clarify this for me.

 

[crystal_waters]

I am going to go to Adoration and pray about all this…

There are two near death experiences that are very different (and Catholic)
christtotheworld.blogspot.com/2009/08/near-death-experience-of-catholic.html
catholicforum.fisheaters.com/index.php?topic=2817859.0

here, it does not seem that Mary is unaware of anything happening on earth…

I just wanted to clarify, it IS Catholic teaching that only Jesus saves us, correct? that is what I believe, I just respect/venerate Mary and the Saints and ask them to help me love Jesus more… but I know Jesus is the one who saves us… if however He doesn’t want me to do this then I’ll give it up… but I just want to know. If the Catholic teaching is true then of course I want to follow it.

why are you torturing your self like this…reading more and more near death experiences that just seem to be making you more confused about what you believe…

i really think you should go and talk to a priest…you are putting you soul at risk by what you are doing …that sounds dramatic but if you let these stories make you lose faith or sway your beliefs then they’ll pull you further from god…any story of a vision that does that to a persons faith doesnt sound good…

 

[katholicchik]

You’re getting a strong attack from the devil is all. Just keep repeating “Jesus I trust in You” and you will be granted clarity.

Never be afraid of loving the Blessed Virgin Mary too much. You can never love her more than Jesus did and If anyone does not wish to have Mary Immaculate for his mother, he will not have Christ for his brother. ~ St. Maximilian Kolbe

Also this is awesome, but pay attention to the part about venerating the ark (in the old testament) and how venerating the ark never detracted from worship of God, it WAS considered and insult not to respect it however – youtube.com/watch?v=kUdYeYy3NQA&feature=player_embedded

You must be in a good place if the devil
is trying to throw you off, so take confidence and relief in knowing that! And God is allowing for this confusion for your own good, whatever the reason; He knows you are doing your best – He knows us through and through and all of our weaknesses. So if you were not meant to have this struggle and good were not to come from it then you wouldn’t be encountering it. So you’re ok! no worries. Just increase the prayers (lots of Our Fathers!!!) and scripture reading. And I know you’re dubious on the rosary, but one a day (more the better) keeps the devil at bay. Remember you’re meditating on the sufferings of Jesus and quoting scripture during the rosary, so you need not be afraid to say it! Pray it with confidence!!! It is a weapon in our hands and a compass to guide you to Christ alone!

 

[katholicchik]

oh wow this is an old thread someone dug up lol. oh well!

 

[styrgwillidar]

Trust in the authority of the Church.

I concur with the other poster who advised you to give up the internet forums for Lent to focus yourself on your faith. I recommend starting with the history of the early Church and the earliest writings, a good series is ‘Faith of the Early Fathers’. It will help you understand the consistency of the Church’s teachings, show you that the doctrine of the Church has in fact been unchanging. That doctrine was established prior to the declaration of what was scripture to be included in the Bible. This can help you to understand that the new testament writings were not selected to provide a comprehensive textbook on the faith, but were those writings the Church recognized were inspired by the Holy Spirit as they supported the doctrine and teachings handed down by the apostles.

I firmly believe that Christ established His Church and continues to guide it to and in the truth. I see the confusion amongst the protestants resulting from their rejection of the Church as similar to your confusion. I believe this is exactly why He established a hierarchical Church with the authority to bind on earth and in heaven.

Peace will come to you, do not be troubled by your confusion. God gave you a mind to use, to seek truth and knowledege. To not use it denies one of God’s gifts to you. However, seek truth methodically- not just in rumors on the internet but also in the validated writings of the earliest saints- Ignatiuas, Iraneaus, Justin the Martyr etc.