So what happens now?

[LynnNH]

“So what happens now?..another suitcase in another hall…” Sorry for the obscure ‘Evita’ reference, but it has been stuck in my head…

I am college educated, had a professional job before my husband and I had children, then I stayed home with them for 9 years. I kept busy with a part time job here and there, and did volunteer work, etc. Last year I went back to work when my youngest went into 1st grade, working at their elementary school. I work there now, as well, but am pretty unhappy there. Or perhaps I should say bored.

I am ready for another challenge, and our finances are such that we need more money than I can make in my current job. I’m so frustrated with the job search, because I feel like no one will see what a great job I can do because it has been a long time since I had a more professional type job (not that the people I work with aren’t professional, but my job does not require a college education, and it does not hold much responsibility, etc. Does that make sense?).

People ask me, if I don’t want to continue doing what I am doing now, then what do I want to do? That’s just it, I don’t really know!! I feel like I have done what I was ‘supposed’ to do all these years and now I can’t move forward. I have been praying for discernment, but I confess that I feel a little angry at God. Why did he give me the gifts he has given me and then not find a way for me to use them? My current job does not use my gifts and talents! I am 40 years old, have many years of work ahead of me, but feel like I am qualified to do nothing. Though there are many jobs out there I am capable of doing, none of that is apparent with just a resume and a cover letter. I’ve explored at least two avenues of possible interest, but neither of them actually feel right.

So what do I do now? Or how do I find the patience to keep waiting for God to show me his path for me? Do I just keep praying for discernment? And pray for the means to make it financially in the meantime?

I know this doesn’t sound like much to complain about, considering some of the problems and difficulties other people have, but it is so frustrating to feel like I’m ready for something, but not know what it is and not know how to find out what it is. Plus I have the burden of feeling like our family’s financial future rests on me finding out what it is rather sooner than later!

Sorry to be long winded, but any help would be greatly appreciated…

Lynn

 

[CroCatholic]

By all means, keep praying! This is a toughie, but don’t be mad at God, if this is the biggest challenge you’ve had to face to date you’re getting off easy (I’m sort of in the same boat). Is there a way that you could pick up a little something on the side to supplement your income for the time being? Maybe it’s time to look for other careers that might interest you, maybe you have a secret talent or interest just waiting to be discovered?
Don’ t lose heart and know that things will get better

Robin

 

[dulcissima]

Don’t be discouraged and keep putting yourself out there, looking for jobs. I was in a similar situation, with a college degree and some professional experience before taking 13 years off to be a stay at home mom. Four years ago, when my youngest was not even in preschool, my marriage was ending and I found myself in a similar situation to you wondering what I do now. I worked for a year as a teacher’s aid (paraprofessional) and then was able to leap into a job I love at a college.

One of the most important things is to be up to date on your computer skills and make sure that your resume reflects that. Employers will want to know that you are competent with Word, Excel, and Powerpoint and have some experience with some type of database programs.

You will really stand out from more recent college grads if you can demonstrate that you have kept up with technology and have real world life experiences that you can apply on the job. Someone who has run a home is going to be an asset because they have experience with budgets, scheduling, dealing with difficult personalities, and conflict resolution. I’m totally sincere when I say that being a mom was some of the best training I could have had for the job I have now. I use my mom skills every day.

I’ve also been on search committees at work, evaluating pools of applicants. I’ve seen quite a few applications from women who are transitioning back into a career after having been stay at home moms. They frequently list all of their volunteer and classwork. Those who were able to demonstrate that they had kept their skills up to date were definitely considered for the final cut.

Wishing you the best of luck and keeping you in my prayers.

 

[puzzleannie]

"So whatI am ready for another challenge, and our finances are such that we need more money than I can make in my current job. I’m so frustrated with the job search, because I feel like no one will see what a great job I can do because it has been a long time since I had a more professional type job (not that the people I work with aren’t professional, but my job does not require a college education, and it does not hold much responsibility, etc. Does that make sense?).

don’t look at your history as a series of paid jobs interrupted by periods of idleness. Look at your entire skill set and experience. I have gone into my two major careers through the volunteer route. Homemaking is a real job requiring real training and skills making a huge contribution to our economy, even if you reduce it to that level. It is a management position, a human resources position, an education position, and a social service position (to name a few).

Start listing skills, talents and gifts. Use verbs, action words to describe them. Not job titles. when you make your list in a column, check of those that gave you the most pleasure and satisfaction, and where you got a sense of using your full potential, being creative. Most of all, and this will take some prayer and reflection, in exercising which of those skills did you feel most in tune with what God wants from you?

that should get you motivated and excited. if you need more schooling the first couple of years when all your kids are in school is the perfect time for it as well.

meanwhile, volunteer. I don’t mean fill up every minute of time so you neglect your house and family, but find someone to serve. There is nothing so revealing of oneself and one’s relationship with Christ and with the world as service.

 

[puzzleannie]

I suspect Catholic Exchange puts people here to post questions linked to their articles, because so often I find an article there that is the spot on response to a question here. catholicexchange.com/2010/05/28/130778/
good advice for job seekers of any age, although aimed at recent grads

 

[PrayerShark]

What is it exactly that you are college educated in? Advice might be more helpful if could give us some idea.

The problem that I see you facing the most is that you are 40 years old. Most employers will prefer to hire younger staff, regardless of experience. It’s just the way it is, for most corporations at least. Charities, publishers and even the archdiocese are generally less discriminating on age; perhaps try some of those.

If all else fails though, move to Western Australia and join the mining boom. You can drive a truck and get paid $150K a year.

 

[joandarc2008]

Look at Secular Orders - there are many opportunities for ministry and self-driven/Fraternity driven. And it will keep you busy.

 

[LynnNH]

I went to Saint Anselm College and was a Liberal Studies major. Typically I have to explain that to people who didn’t go to that kind of liberal arts college, but basically it was history through literature. I worked for 5 years in a college library (law firm library before that), which I loved. The problem is that there are not very many library jobs available in my area, and when there is one available, they have a** ton** of applicants. I do keep my eye out for that kind of job, but there aren’t many there.

I am currently an educational assistant in an elementary school. They have just let us know where we will be placed for next year, and I find it so frustrating that we have so little control over what our jobs will be each year. Right now I feel as though I am a glorified babysitter, and not even as well paid. (please don’t think I’m putting down babysitters!! Many families could not get by without one, particularly after school hours, and a good one is worth his/her weight in gold! Just that my gifts and interests do not lie there).

I will keep praying and try to remember that it is all on God’s time, not mine, but it is hard.

And no, this is NOT the first difficult thing I have ever had to deal with!! It’s just so frustrating, I find my work boring and unsatisfying, the school climate is not good right now, and dealing with my depression along with it just exacerbates the situation.

Thanks!

 

[CountrySinger]

I know how you feel. I have my bachelor’s in education, and I work in a call center. Bascially I’m a punching bag for people. I’m going to be getting my Master’s in Special Ed soon though.

 

[Rascalking]

Wow-You a St. A’s girl, so your obviously very bright, and I mean that sincerly. Shame you didn’t go to UNH though…we’re better at sports! I’m also from NH, by the way.

(us fellow NH people can be quite competitive)

Have you tried learning a new hobby? A musical instrument or something?

 

[Cat]

I would suggest working with a Career Counselor or Life Coach.

I sense that you are thinking esoterically, with your heart, and this is keeping you paralyzed and unhappy. You have reached a crossroads in your life–children are in school and you are 40–and you’re not quite sure what to do next. You have all kinds of emotions and dreams and wishes and regrets and hopes–but because you have no practical “roadmap”, you are overwhelmed by all of this “heart stuff.”

I think you need to get back to practical facts. A trained person, either a Career Counselor or a Life Coach, will help you to do a very practical assessment on paper (or computer!) of your skills and goals, and develop an Action Plan for working on getting any additional training necessary, updating certain skills, creating a good resume and portfolio, finding a headhunter or working through an agency, or perhaps even guide you into starting your own business.

It may seem like a waste of time and money, to go to a stranger and ask for help to plan your life. Not at all. Ask others that you trust and admire for recommendations of a good counselor or coach; you don’t want to end up with some new-age guru who is totally messed up herself or himself. Finding a good professional counselor or coach will be money and time well spent because it will help you to shake loose all the dreaming and frustration and start actually making a concrete plan and taking steps to make that plan happen.

Good luck.