So what is wrong with me?

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stphilipneri

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I am 40 and I realised that I am a waste of space. I have no friends and everyone I work with hates me. I don’t understand why its not like I pinch peoples bums or anything like that I thought I did ok. people always say bad stuff about me I know that sometimes I aren’t like a perfect person but sometimes it is a complete lie and I don’t know why people are so hostile towards me. this ends up with me not trusting anyone as I don’t know who the bad people are. everyone always thinks the worst in me and it makes me feel down all the time. I can handle people hating me if I am bad but I don’t act so bad as to warrant hatred all the time. it takes over my life, wherever I go people hate me. I feel so depressed and it never gets better

should I just give u completely?

should I be resigned to being hated by everyone all the time#?

:imsorry:
 
If you are on this earth, you are not a waste of space. God creates everyone for a reason.
 
stphilipneri said:
I am 40 and I realised that I am a waste of space. I have no friends and everyone I work with hates me. I don’t understand why its not like I pinch peoples bums or anything like that I thought I did ok. people always say bad stuff about me I know that sometimes I aren’t like a perfect person but sometimes it is a complete lie and I don’t know why people are so hostile towards me. this ends up with me not trusting anyone as I don’t know who the bad people are. everyone always thinks the worst in me and it makes me feel down all the time. I can handle people hating me if I am bad but I don’t act so bad as to warrant hatred all the time. it takes over my life, wherever I go people hate me. I feel so depressed and it never gets better

should I just give u completely?

should I be resigned to being hated by everyone all the time#?

:imsorry:
Click to expand...
With all due respect, I very much doubt any significant number of people actually hate you. Truth be told, most people aren’t capable of really hating for any significant period of time. Some can’t manage it at all.

If one needs to be resigned to anything, it’s to the fact that human nature isn’t so good. People can be, and often are, nasty. But one thing an old man told me long ago has stuck with me. I said something about how some woman had betrayed a trust and made my life miserable for a time. He said “You know why she did that, don’t you?” I said no I didn’t. He said “Because she’s unhappy herself and can’t stand the thought that you might be. Most everybody is like that now and then, but some are like that all the time.”

You have to get used to that, and REALLY learn not to focus on what others think or what you think they think. Just go about your life as yourself. Iron out what you think might be unpleasant about yourself the best you can, and go on.

And NEVER expect too much of people. They can’t meet a whole lot in the way of optimistic expectations.
 
stphilipneri said:
I am 40 and I realised that I am a waste of space. I have no friends and everyone I work with hates me. I don’t understand why its not like I pinch peoples bums or anything like that I thought I did ok. people always say bad stuff about me I know that sometimes I aren’t like a perfect person but sometimes it is a complete lie and I don’t know why people are so hostile towards me. this ends up with me not trusting anyone as I don’t know who the bad people are. everyone always thinks the worst in me and it makes me feel down all the time. I can handle people hating me if I am bad but I don’t act so bad as to warrant hatred all the time. it takes over my life, wherever I go people hate me. I feel so depressed and it never gets better

should I just give u completely?

should I be resigned to being hated by everyone all the time#?

:imsorry:
Click to expand...
Have you seen a therapist or a mental health professional?

None of us here are qualified to help with depression, which is what this sounds like. Thi is, however, not a diagnosis, as I am not a doctor, but even if I were, no doctor is authorized to diagnose you over the Internet.

But you MAY have depression so I ask again: have you seen a mental health doctor?
 
You would not be here if not for God’s will and His will is not to make you miserable (that is the devil). Sometimes we are in situations that do not make us happy or fullfilled - I think everyone would agree with that. Pray over this and ask St Jude and St Rita to intercede for you.

While we can’t always easily change our work situation, we can choose how we act while we are there. Remember, God loves you…act as if your best friend is there (and He is!).

If you don’t have many friends, reach out to your church community. Get involves in bible studies and other activities, find joy and peace in attending mass and Eucharistic Adoration. Let God be with you through this. He won’t let you down.
 
porthos11 said:
Have you seen a therapist or a mental health professional?

None of us here are qualified to help with depression, which is what this sounds like. This is, however, not a diagnosis, as I am not a doctor, but even if I were, no doctor is authorized to diagnose you over the Internet.

But you MAY have depression so I ask again: have you seen a mental health doctor?
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THIS^^^.
Plus, a famous therapist once said " You wouldn’t be so concerned about what people said or thought about you if you only realized how seldom they did."
You may be imagining that they don’t like you, and maybe they’re just busy working their own jobs? 🤷
People seldom single people out for exclusion. Not past grade school, anyway.
 
I’ve got to second what Adam said. God made you and you have intrinsic worth.

Also, I second the notion that a lot of times people don’t really think about you as much as you think they do, good or bad. Whether you have some depression or not, a medical checkup and some counseling can help you get perspective.

I also must say this is likely not just a figment of your imagination. People these day in general are not as reserved, self-controlled or polite as they were decades ago, nor are they as schooled in Christian values and virtues as they once were, and this includes the workplace. My last two jobs featured a number of younger people who were inexplicably rude, sneering and condescending in general; I finally realized they were parroting behaviors they’d seen in movies, tv and other popular culture. You might be stuck in a really nasty workplace culture.

Because you are God’s child and you have intrinsic worth, you are worthy of self-care and a workplace which affords you dignity.
 
If its not too personal would you mind saying what bad stuff people say about you?
It might give greater insight into whether its something they are misconceiving about you or whether they are just mean people.
 
pianistclare said:
THIS^^^.
Plus, a famous therapist once said " You wouldn’t be so concerned about what people said or thought about you if you only realized how seldom they did."
You may be imagining that they don’t like you, and maybe they’re just busy working their own jobs? 🤷
People seldom single people out for exclusion. Not past grade school, anyway.
Click to expand...
I’m going to disagree with the last part of your post. I have seen adults singled out by other adults.
 
Brother,
God made you for a purpose and he loves you as much as if you were the only person on earth.
I second the idea that you see a counselor, and find out if you’re suffering from depression.
Just do your best and ignore falsehoods that people say about you. We are all on a learning curve.
God bless you.

.
 
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