So why DO people leave Mass early?

[TK421]

But why do you think Catholics view themselves with that sense of guilt? (if it is true)

 

[Gordon_Sims]

Just to get the requisite griping out of the way: As far as the late-arrivers go, I’ve seen people shove their way through baptisms at the beginning of Mass, and one time even shove their way through the KoC line with their swords at attention, giggling and snapping pictures with their smart phones as they went. The early departures aren’t as bad an issue now as they were a couple years ago (our priest has spoken out about it several times), but we’ve had some real issues with it, including the one couple who used to always show up after the homily and walk out the front side door as soon as they received Communion. The most egregious early departure I’ve seen recently was when we had a sister in to do a missionary appeal. Our priest said in advance that she was going to speak for less than five minutes, that he had cut his homily short to account for the extra time and to please be respectful and at least listen to her, even if you had no intention of making a donation. As soon as she started speaking, two whole pews at the front of the church stood up and walked out, followed by at least another 2-3 dozen people.

Growing up I was taught that you got there early and didn’t leave until the priest was in the narthex or the final hymn was complete, whichever came last. I teach my kids the same. However, I can think of two times that I left early, both within the last few months. Once was when all four of my daughters were sick and I left them at home while I went to the early Mass. I was worried enough that as soon as Father left the altar, I slipped out the side door. Another time was the week my two youngest were having simultaneous meltdowns and my two older girls had been fighting before Mass so they were in more of a mood to fight me than help with the little ones. During Father’s announcements at the end of Mass, the youngest fell and banged her chin on the pew just as the two middle ones bumped heads, which led to two screaming babies and the two older ones throwing elbows at one another. I snapped my finger at the two older ones, pointed toward the exit, picked up the little ones and we walked out as I grumbled, “Thanks be to God.” Thankfully, that was a unique experience.

My personal opinion on why people leave early is, for the most part, poor catechesis. While I’m sure there are lots of other reasons (some of which are even valid), I think the bulk of the attendance issues are due to people not being properly formed in their faith. They don’t know what’s truly required of them, don’t have a full understanding of their faith and as a result, they don’t have the proper respect for it. I have one friend who married outside the faith. She still calls herself Catholic but tells me all the time that her Sunday obligation is filled as long as she goes to some church. Her churches of choice are very seldom Catholic, and when she does go to an actual Mass she always receives Communion. She seldom leaves early but arriving late doesn’t phase her. Other friends insist to me that missing Mass isn’t a mortal sin, or even a sin. Nearly all of them have asked me where in the Bible it says that. When I point to the Ten Commandments and tell them to check the CCC, they tell me those don’t count because the one doesn’t mention Mass and the other isn’t the Bible. They make sure to go to Christmas and/or Easter Mass at least once every few years or so, and wouldn’t think of not receiving Communion. While discussing this very topic with other friends, I’ve been told time and again, “Well, at least they came!” One of them had an anniversary party approaching. I asked if it would be okay if I showed up late, ate a piece of cake and left. They refused to discuss religion with me for a few months after that.

 

[acadiANNA]

One point on judging…

CCC says:

1861 . . . although we can judge that an act is in itself a grave offense, we must entrust judgment of persons to the justice and mercy of God.

 

[Cat]

This hasn’t been what I’ve seen (though I haven’t seen much), but why do you think this is?

I think it has to do with misunderstanding of the Church teachings about merit and forgiveness of sins.

I think a lot of Catholics don’t realize that we are saved through faith, through the merits of Jesus. I think that in spite of what the Catechism clearly teaches, a lot of Catholics continue to think that we are saved through works.

They think that when we die, we stand before Jesus and our sins are put on one balance and our good works are put on another balance, and that our sins must be less than our good works, or we will go to hell and Jesus will point to hell and tell us to go away from Him.

So these poor Catholics agonize over every sin because they are afraid it’s the sin that will tip the balance and send them to hell. They feel that it is necessary to grovel before the Lord in the Blessed Sacrament and beg for His mercy.

This is not what the Catholic Church teaches at all.

Perhaps a good study of the Catechism will comfort these Catholics, but I doubt it. I’ve often said on these forums that a lot of our personality is formed while we are being raised. Catholics who were raised in a home and/or school where the “sin vs. good works balance system” of salvation was taught and lived will continue to be afraid of Jesus all their lives, and they will also communicate this fear to their children.

And that’s the group that is leaving the Church–the children. In this modern day and age, where many people have lost any sense of God’s reality, children grow up and are unwilling to live their lives in fear of an invisible God. So they leave the Church and either seek out a church that teaches and truly LIVES salvation by faith, or they abandon “church” altogether and attempt to live a life of peace and love on their own, without God.

I apologize that this is OT. I’m only trying to answer this question, which I think is a good one. Leaving Mass early is hardly a “grave offense.” But leaving the Church is a grave offense.

 

[Bklynguy]

Simple. Lack of Faith.

This.

As far as the other reasons listed–social obligations or children’s sports games–I’m not impressed. It is only one hour a week.

 

[Sarabande]

I’m sure many people have a valid reason for leaving early. Some however are just in a rush to be the first out I notice so many keep their coats on during Mass as well…I believe it was Scott Hahn who asked, do you go a friends house for dinner and keep your coat on so you can hurry out?
For me, I refuse to get ready to leave until the final song has ended. So to any one that finds themselves sitting to my right…hold your horses this girl isn’t moving

There are many people who are in a rush to “beat” the traffic when getting out of the parking lot. I see this especially in more suburban parishes where most people drive to mass. So many people I know have admitted this. They hate sitting in traffic. My family used to just wait in church until the parking lot cleared, but most people don’t do that.

That said, there are also many people who have very good and valid reasons for leaving early, some of which were already mentioned. So, I try not to judge. I have to say that the parish where I work is different in that most people stay until the last hymn is over. Perhaps the difference is that most of the people there walk to church for mass, so no one is in a rush to get out?

In regard to coats… I know for my very devout, Catholic grandmother who loved being at mass and attended daily mass, she was always cold and often had to wear her coat while at mass. Most of the churches in my area are old… some dating back to the 18th century. Those buildings are not the best in climate control. Then many churches are even freezing in the summer because of the air conditioning. People are always talking about how cold the church was either in the winter or summer. Another thing to consider, I have sometimes chosen to keep my coat on while sitting in the pew because there was no room to put them anywhere else especially if the church was packed. Otherwise, I’d either have to put the coat on the floor or in my lap along with my purse and the diaper bag… and my son. Not going to happen.

 

[Sarabande]

What about when you are going up for Communion and they are smashing into you like a bowling ball?

http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/...w.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-sport033.gif

hahaha! This reminds me of a number of masses I attended over in Europe where everyone just makes a mad dash to the front in order to receive communion. It was utter chaos. There were no lines, just people rushing, pushing and hurrying to get up to the front from all over the churches. I assumed that was a cultural thing, but I was really taken aback the first couple of times.

 

[7armyrugrats]

But why do you think Catholics view themselves with that sense of guilt? (if it is true)

This is a great topic for a new thread in my opinion. The answer I believe is pretty complex, but I think a lot of it has to do with the way we are in the habit of examining our consciences. Often times parents and/or teachers at catholic schools don’t teach their children that God loves us and wants us to be with Him, and focus too much on the sins we commit. One piece of evidence I offer is the plethora of “Is this a sin?” threads that are posted each day.

Note: I am NOT saying we should not examine our consciences. I am NOT saying that we do not need to confess our sins, repent, do penance. I just think that sometimes we forget that none of us are truly worthy so we either view ourselves too harshly, or we project that harshness on others as we make excuses for ourselves.

One more note: I do not believe that the Church wants us to feel so much unnecessary guilt, nor do I believe all Catholics fall into this trap. Enough of them do, though, that maybe we should look into the reason(s) behind it.

 

[Sarcelle]

If we pray there as a community, why should it be none of our business that some people choose not to share in the full graces, such as that offered by God’s blessing, which Mass provides? I don’t know, maybe it’s me, as it bothers me when people come in late for the Asperges Me when that is offered.

If anyone you know is leaving mass early for trivial reasons, than you can talk to him or her.

However endless speculation about why others you do not personally know, leave mass early, does not do any good at all and may even lead to calumny.

 

[Sarcelle]

This is a great topic for a new thread in my opinion. The answer I believe is pretty complex, but I think a lot of it has to do with the way we are in the habit of examining our consciences. Often times parents and/or teachers at catholic schools don’t teach their children that God loves us and wants us to be with Him, and focus too much on the sins we commit. One piece of evidence I offer is the plethora of “Is this a sin?” threads that are posted each day.

Note: I am NOT saying we should not examine our consciences. I am NOT saying that we do not need to confess our sins, repent, do penance. I just think that sometimes we forget that none of us are truly worthy so we either view ourselves too harshly, or we project that harshness on others as we make excuses for ourselves.

One more note: I do not believe that the Church wants us to feel so much unnecessary guilt, nor do I believe all Catholics fall into this trap. Enough of them do, though, that maybe we should look into the reason(s) behind it.

I was raised atheist but I knew a lot of Catholics growing up. Their view.of God, presented Him as someone who was just itching to send them to Hell on a technicality

Since my parents never talked to me about God, my early view of the Christian God was someone who liked to see people suffer. Hence the phrase “Offer it up”

 

[acadiANNA]

We actually have a policeman who directs traffic at the end of Mass. He will stop the oncoming traffic and allow the parishioners to flow out of the parking lot. They will do the same for the Baptist church down the road. But, people still leave early.

 

[ProVobis]

However endless speculation about why others you do not personally know, leave mass early, does not do any good at all and may even lead to calumny.

If that’s the case, then we shouldn’t be discussing this at all and there’s no reason for the thread. So you do have a point. But then if one were to say, “I don’t care. Let them all leave so I can have some peace and quiet.” I’m sure that would draw a few out of the woodwork.

 

[1Tim215Mommy]

I’m sure many people have a valid reason for leaving early. Some however are just in a rush to be the first out I notice so many keep their coats on during Mass as well…I believe it was Scott Hahn who asked, do you go a friends house for dinner and keep your coat on so you can hurry out?
For me, I refuse to get ready to leave until the final song has ended. So to any one that finds themselves sitting to my right…hold your horses this girl isn’t moving

That’s funny, to hear another perspective. I always thought taking your coat off was horribly rude! It takes up space on the pew, preventing others from sitting down and with Catholic Masses held every hour on the hour on Sundays, the time it takes taking it off and putting it on is too much and major distraction & a disturbance to those around you.

 

[Cat]

That’s funny, to hear another perspective. I always thought taking your coat off was horribly rude! It takes up space on the pew, preventing others from sitting down and with Catholic Masses held every hour on the hour on Sundays, the time it takes taking it off and putting it on is too much and major distraction & a disturbance to those around you.

And that’s why churches need coat racks!

In the Protestant church, coat racks were also great “meeting and greeting” places. This would be good in Catholic churches, as we are not supposed to chat in the nave, and for many locales, the parking lot is not an option due to weather.

 

[jmcrae]

If you have children in sports, there can be conflicts in the scheduling of games and Mass.
We have never missed Mass due to anything. It’s not about rushing home and watching football.

“The first precept (“You shall attend Mass on Sundays and holy days of obligation and rest from servile labor”) requires the faithful to sanctify the day commemorating the Resurrection of the Lord as well as the principal liturgical feasts honoring the mysteries of the Lord, the Blessed Virgin Mary, and the saints; in the first place, by participating in the Eucharistic celebration, in which the Christian community is gathered, and by resting from those works and activities which could impede such a sanctification of these days.” Catechism 2042

How do sports activities sanctify the holy day unto the Lord? Sports are spare-time activities, to be done when every obligation of life has been completed - school work, job, chores, prayers, and Mass. If one cuts short one’s Mass obligation (required) for sports (optional), isn’t this a classic confusion of priorities?

 

[ProVobis]

For me, I refuse to get ready to leave until the final song has ended. So to any one that finds themselves sitting to my right…hold your horses this girl isn’t moving

But it’s precisely those types of people who discourage other people returning to their spot in the middle of the pew. If I sense some aisle person refusing to move, I’ll find a place to stand next time, thank you. Personally I won’t leave the church, but don’t assume that because I won’t go back to “my” seat, I’ll have left early.

 

[ProVobis]

And that’s why churches need coat racks!

I’d say, turn down the heat.

 

[jeannetherese]

One of the churches at which I assist has a small adoration alcove where the Blessed Sacrament is reposed. Some opt to slip into the alcove to pray and adore as they return from Holy Communion.
They are still in church and assisting at Mass while engaging in prayer.

Another church has the high percentage of early leave-takers. I’ve never asked why they leave early.

At my Latin Mass, we wait until Father has exited the church and many wait until the organist concludes his/her playing.

May God bless all who assist at Mass.
Amen.

 

[7armyrugrats]

And that’s why churches need coat racks!

In the Protestant church, coat racks were also great “meeting and greeting” places. This would be good in Catholic churches, as we are not supposed to chat in the nave, and for many locales, the parking lot is not an option due to weather.

You may be on to something, but sadly the few churches I’ve been to that DO have coat racks, no one uses them. I’m thinking it has more to do with habit than people not wanting to use the rack, but I still think it would be a great place for people to get to know one another.

 

[Sarabande]

You may be on to something, but sadly the few churches I’ve been to that DO have coat racks, no one uses them. I’m thinking it has more to do with habit than people not wanting to use the rack, but I still think it would be a great place for people to get to know one another.

I know personally in my area that many people feel very uncomfortable leaving their belongings anywhere, even in a church as it is not unusual for people’s belongings to be swiped from the pews where I am from. In a previous parish, we’ve had people sneak up the choir loft stairs, crawl on the floor and try to steal women’s purses while the choir was singing. We also had people take coats and other articles, as well as purses from pews when people would go up for communion, so there might be a good reason why those churches don’t use the coat racks.

And you also have to think about certain kinds of churches. Many of the churches in my area are old and there really isn’t any place to put a coat rack. In my church, there is absolutely no room in the vestibule as it is an 18th century structure.