Social Anxiety and Mass?

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thephilosopher6

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Sorry if I put this in the wrong area, I didn’t know where else to place it. 😊

I have social anxiety which sometimes causes me to dread having to go to Mass or stops me from going all together. I love Mass, I do. I love Christ and I desire to partake of him in the Eucharist… but the social interactions makes me so anxious. My social anxiety use to not be that bad. But in the last few years it has gotten worse. I constantly think people are judging me based on how I look and act. I know it’s probably not true, but I can’t help to feel this. I hate walking out into the parking lot after Mass because I feel like everyone is looking at me and judging me. I don’t like having to do the sign of peace either because I get so uncomfortable. There are times when I miss Mass specifically because of my social anxiety. If I don’t feel that everything about me is perfect that particular day, I don’t go to Mass. I know I am sinning. I have never really opened up about my social anxiety on CAF. Does anyone have any advice for me? I have considered the option of speaking to a mental health professional, but I don’t know if that’s going to solve anything.
 
You should speak to a mental health professional as soon as possible.
 
A mental health professional can offer medication to reduce anxiety as well as some coping techniques to help when anxiety is bad.
 
Horton said:
A mental health professional can offer medication to reduce anxiety as well as some coping techniques to help when anxiety is bad.
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Yes.

In my case, medication was not needed, and I learned some very helpful and healthy coping techniques.

I have found that “indulging” the anxiety too frequently just makes me more anxious. Putting into practice the things I learned in therapy makes me feel more connected, confident, and capable. 👍
 
Since your anxiety is so severe as to keep you from hearing Mass when you are obliged to, you should see a doctor. The doctor will be able to help you. Having anxiety at Mass is a terrible thing to endure.
 
thephilosopher6 said:
Sorry if I put this in the wrong area, I didn’t know where else to place it. 😊

I have social anxiety which sometimes causes me to dread having to go to Mass or stops me from going all together. I love Mass, I do. I love Christ and I desire to partake of him in the Eucharist… but the social interactions makes me so anxious. My social anxiety use to not be that bad. But in the last few years it has gotten worse. I constantly think people are judging me based on how I look and act. I know it’s probably not true, but I can’t help to feel this. I hate walking out into the parking lot after Mass because I feel like everyone is looking at me and judging me. I don’t like having to do the sign of peace either because I get so uncomfortable. There are times when I miss Mass specifically because of my social anxiety. If I don’t feel that everything about me is perfect that particular day, I don’t go to Mass. I know I am sinning. I have never really opened up about my social anxiety on CAF. Does anyone have any advice for me? I have considered the option of speaking to a mental health professional, but I don’t know if that’s going to solve anything.
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I think you should speak to a professional, ideally (if such an option is available) a Catholic therapist who would be able to guide you through specific issues and situations. 🙂
 
pensmama87 said:
Yes.

In my case, medication was not needed, and I learned some very helpful and healthy coping techniques.

I have found that “indulging” the anxiety too frequently just makes me more anxious. Putting into practice the things I learned in therapy makes me feel more connected, confident, and capable. 👍
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In my case, I did need medication. I am not on it anymore.

I agree, indulging in anxiety, giving it attention, makes it worse. I also know that exercising calming myself, I used self taught techniques but I probably bet I am doing some of the same things (my insurance covers medication but not therapy), it helps my confidence. The more confidence I gain by controlling my anxiety, the less anxiety I have. It’s a positive loop. Control anxiety, gain confidence, better control anxiety, more confidence.

There were times when I had to stay home from mass due to my anxiety, I considered it a medical issue.
 
I think it will help you a lot to see a mental health professional.
 
thephilosopher6 said:
Sorry if I put this in the wrong area, I didn’t know where else to place it. 😊

I have social anxiety which sometimes causes me to dread having to go to Mass or stops me from going all together. I love Mass, I do. I love Christ and I desire to partake of him in the Eucharist… but the social interactions makes me so anxious. My social anxiety use to not be that bad. But in the last few years it has gotten worse. I constantly think people are judging me based on how I look and act. I know it’s probably not true, but I can’t help to feel this. I hate walking out into the parking lot after Mass because I feel like everyone is looking at me and judging me. I don’t like having to do the sign of peace either because I get so uncomfortable. There are times when I miss Mass specifically because of my social anxiety. If I don’t feel that everything about me is perfect that particular day, I don’t go to Mass. I know I am sinning. I have never really opened up about my social anxiety on CAF. Does anyone have any advice for me? I have considered the option of speaking to a mental health professional, but I don’t know if that’s going to solve anything.
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Yes, go and see a mental health professional. I had severe anxiety when I was young, and professional therapy helped a lot. I still have occasional anxiety but it’s not nearly as bad, and I know how to get past it.
 
thephilosopher6 said:
Sorry if I put this in the wrong area, I didn’t know where else to place it. 😊

I have social anxiety which sometimes causes me to dread having to go to Mass or stops me from going all together. I love Mass, I do. I love Christ and I desire to partake of him in the Eucharist… but the social interactions makes me so anxious. My social anxiety use to not be that bad. But in the last few years it has gotten worse. I constantly think people are judging me based on how I look and act. I know it’s probably not true, but I can’t help to feel this. I hate walking out into the parking lot after Mass because I feel like everyone is looking at me and judging me. I don’t like having to do the sign of peace either because I get so uncomfortable. There are times when I miss Mass specifically because of my social anxiety. If I don’t feel that everything about me is perfect that particular day, I don’t go to Mass. I know I am sinning. I have never really opened up about my social anxiety on CAF. Does anyone have any advice for me? I have considered the option of speaking to a mental health professional, but I don’t know if that’s going to solve anything.
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The only advice prudence allows me to give about the anxiety issue is to speak with your primary health care provider.

I would also encourage you to speak frankly with your parish priest…an anxiety disorder is indeed a medical issue and so I am troubled, as a priest, to read “I know I am sinning”. Not if your condition obviates your ability to be present.

Surely your parish has arrangements to send Extraordinary Ministers of Holy Communion to the sick and shut-in. Until the issue is under better control, your parish priest would want to be aware of your incapacitation so that you may be receiving the Eucharist when you’re not well enough to be at Mass.
 
thephilosopher6 said:
Sorry if I put this in the wrong area, I didn’t know where else to place it. 😊

I have social anxiety which sometimes causes me to dread having to go to Mass or stops me from going all together. I love Mass, I do. I love Christ and I desire to partake of him in the Eucharist… but the social interactions makes me so anxious. My social anxiety use to not be that bad. But in the last few years it has gotten worse. I constantly think people are judging me based on how I look and act. I know it’s probably not true, but I can’t help to feel this. I hate walking out into the parking lot after Mass because I feel like everyone is looking at me and judging me. I don’t like having to do the sign of peace either because I get so uncomfortable. There are times when I miss Mass specifically because of my social anxiety. If I don’t feel that everything about me is perfect that particular day, I don’t go to Mass. I know I am sinning. I have never really opened up about my social anxiety on CAF. Does anyone have any advice for me? I have considered the option of speaking to a mental health professional, but I don’t know if that’s going to solve anything.
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Speak to a mental health professional. Social anxiety can be treated.
 
Do not be anxious at mass, the level of worship will not bother you if you frequent the adoration chapel. Trust me, this insecurity issue is non other than you lacking in formal devotion. Have a light load, and you will be alright.
 
kdbueno said:
Do not be anxious at mass, the level of worship will not bother you if you frequent the adoration chapel. Trust me, this insecurity issue is non other than you lacking in formal devotion. Have a light load, and you will be alright.
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I’m sorry, but as someone who suffers from anxiety, one of the worst things people could say is “don’t be anxious”. Do you think the OP (or anyone with anxiety) would choose to be anxious? If they didn’t choose it, do you think they can just choose to not be as easy as that?

And to suggest that the reason someone suffers from social anxiety (which does not limit itself to mass, I assure you) is because they lack proper devotion or do not spend enough time in adoration comes across as very sanctimonious.

I suggest the OP see a mental health professional and address their anxiety issues. The mental health professional can make recommendations as to medications, therapy, or some combination of those or other treatments.
 
Strangely enough, there is some spiritual therapy you can apply. If it is severe you may need some medication as a temporary help to induce a feeling of calm. The other way uses a spiritual way. A) face your fears, asking God for help, B) what every christian should do, accept your fears,(your cross) this also prevents some of adrenalyn from those physical symptoms that fear produces. c) float, ride with it without fighting, or running, and D) let time pass, it didn’t happen overnight. I knew a woman who spent a great deal of money, and didn’t get as much relief, as suggested by the above advice. You can also do as other posters suggested. Just realize that medications don’t necessarily cure, but they can help to a degree, and can even mask the problem. Cultivate a deep trust in God, and try to let go, it won’t be easy, but worth the effort.
 
kdbueno said:
Do not be anxious at mass, the level of worship will not bother you if you frequent the adoration chapel. Trust me, this insecurity issue is non other than you lacking in formal devotion. Have a light load, and you will be alright.
Click to expand...
As someone who suffers from anxiety and has missed Mass because of it, this is not good advice, or it wouldn’t be for me, anyway. Social anxiety isn’t necessarily an ‘insecurity issue’, or lacking in formal devotion. If you met me, you would see that isn’t my case at all.

I spoke with my confessor about this; I was worried that taking my medicine (Xanax) wouldn’t be proper, before going to Mass. He assured me that it is like any other medication, and would be fine. On occasion, my anxiety attacks have either prevented me from leaving to go to Mass, or even needing to leave Mass early. 😦 In my own personal case, my priest has offered that it is similar to other illnesses that would present obvious symptoms (colds, flu, etc) that would prevent you from attending Mass.

OP,
St. Dymphna is a proper saint to add a devotion to with any mental illness or disorder. I also turn to Mary for comfort. The weakening caused by the anxiety attacks (for me) does seem to open a crack that allows for further distraction by temptation to miss Mass, among other things. Fortunately, I’ve been blessed of late to avoid this.

You might also try attending a parish that has a weekday afternoon or morning Mass. They usually aren’t as crowded and are more peaceful. Being not near others while in the pew, you don’t shake hands at the sign of peace. This is NOT to replace your Sunday obligation by any means. But it could help you ease back into attending regularly.

God bless you.
xxxxxxx
 
I rarely get to mass any more. because of health issues. A damaged immune system and serious systemic illness made it a struggle and a danger. Took me a while to lose the inbuilt guilt but thankfully that is gone and I am at peace.

I can get mass well on the internet and on the rare occasions I am out I call in at the cathedral or church when it is empty. Living as I do remote rural and given the increasing shortage of priests etc now I would not ask a visit.

My illness was for years misdiagnosed as anxiety and I went through a lonely hell of battling with misconceptions re anxiety… OP, find a way that gives you peace in Christ as I have done. Mass should not be a battlefield when there is a medical problem. I remember one time years ago when I got as far as the Church door and leant against it unable to go in. Here I can pray and be at peace. Jesus does understand and so do most priests .
 
A lot of people suffer from social anxiety. We can’t be all perky extroverts. One of my mom’s friends, had such severe social anxiety, she had to show up at social gatherings already buzzed.

I get especially anxious during the giving of the peace part of the mass, especially if the people around me are part of couples or families. If there is a person or persons by themselves than I don’t worry as much.
 
Sarcelle said:
A lot of people suffer from social anxiety. We can’t be all perky extroverts. One of my mom’s friends, had such severe social anxiety, she had to show up at social gatherings already buzzed.

I get especially anxious during the giving of the peace part of the mass, especially if the people around me are part of couples or families. If there is a person or persons by themselves than I don’t worry as much.
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Our rich diversity! On the now very very rare occasions I get to a quiet midweek mass I close my eyes and fold my hands in prayer for the peace part.
 
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