Social Anxiety

[joyfulseraph]

There are many things that stop me from really considering joining the catholic church. One of course being certain beliefs/teachings that don’t seem right to me, and the fact that part of my family isn’t catholic…but, even if I came to believe it all, I still don’t think it would be possible.

It seems like becoming and being Catholic is largely a social thing…there’s confession, mass, RCIA, confirmation, baptism…all that. And that’s a problem because I have social anxiety, agoraphobic tendencies and possibly GAD.

Does anyone else here have a similar problem and/or situation? How do you deal with it? Can anyone give me any advice?



Note: I’m still trying to find my way around the forum, and I am not sure where this post should be. Sorry if its in the wrong spot! It’s only my 2nd.

 

[DJgang]

I think I understand what you are saying, but let me put it in another perspective…

Compared to Protestant churches (some, like baptist, non-denomination, Church of God, etc), no, the Catholic Church is not near as social as those…in those churches, you have to make an altar call, the preacher prays with you in front of everyone, you get paraded in front of everyone alone, usually…

When you start attending RCIA, start the educational process into the Church, you are not alone. You are with a group of other people, going through exactly what you are going through. You make friends, make bonds that will last a lifetime. Three out of the four Sacraments happen all in one night…

You’ll make a confession alone with the Priest of course, I am sure that you could request a behind the screen confession…

Then on Easter Vigil, you are Baptized, Confirmed and receive Holy Communion with your group.

It’s really great, and beautiful.

Anyway, I hope that helps you a little bit.

And pray, pray, pray…I will pray for you.

 

[johnco]

hi,

i’m sorry for your social anxiety, you may certainly ask the parish priest to have someone teach you privately, and to address your other fears. they will be more than happy to help you in any way they can.

God bless,

johnco

 

[joyfulseraph]

I think I understand what you are saying, but let me put it in another perspective…

Compared to Protestant churches (some, like baptist, non-denomination, Church of God, etc), no, the Catholic Church is not near as social as those…in those churches, you have to make an altar call, the preacher prays with you in front of everyone, you get paraded in front of everyone alone, usually…

When you start attending RCIA, start the educational process into the Church, you are not alone. You are with a group of other people, going through exactly what you are going through. You make friends, make bonds that will last a lifetime. Three out of the four Sacraments happen all in one night…

You’ll make a confession alone with the Priest of course, I am sure that you could request a behind the screen confession…

Then on Easter Vigil, you are Baptized, Confirmed and receive Holy Communion with your group.

It’s really great, and beautiful.

Anyway, I hope that helps you a little bit.

And pray, pray, pray…I will pray for you.

Thanks, that helped a little bit.

 

[bcuster]

hi,

i’m sorry for your social anxiety, you may certainly ask the parish priest to have someone teach you privately, and to address your other fears. they will be more than happy to help you in any way they can.
johnco

I think this is a very wise idea. An extention of this would be to start with a sponsor that you could get to know and then go with that person to the RCIA group as you feel comfortable. The RCIA will be a small group of people that you will get to know and hopefully feel comfortable with. From there you may want to branch out to other groups.

GAD and Social Anxiety can be very difficult to live with. I have both as well. I take medication that increases the seritonin and dopamine in my brain. This helps me to not be quite so anxious, clears my head to think more logically. I still have a hard time going out to new places; however I find that the more I do so, the easier it becomes. I have also seen a therapist who has helped me change some of my dysfunctional ways of thinking. I also began a spiritual formation that includes daily prayer, scripture reading, and Sunday Mass. For a long time I put the scriptures: "Nothing is impossible with God "and “I can do all things in Christ who strengthens me” everywhere I could think of. I am certain that God’s healing love has helped me to move out of my fear and anxiety. I pray with all my heart that you will come to know this, too.

 

[hasikelee]

There are many things that stop me from really considering joining the catholic church. One of course being certain beliefs/teachings that don’t seem right to me, and the fact that part of my family isn’t catholic…but, even if I came to believe it all, I still don’t think it would be possible.

It seems like becoming and being Catholic is largely a social thing…there’s confession, mass, RCIA, confirmation, baptism…all that. And that’s a problem because I have social anxiety, agoraphobic tendencies and possibly GAD.

Does anyone else here have a similar problem and/or situation? How do you deal with it? Can anyone give me any advice?



Note: I’m still trying to find my way around the forum, and I am not sure where this post should be. Sorry if its in the wrong spot! It’s only my 2nd.

Solace and peace are two words I use in regards to the Sacraments. You can choose the “screen” confession which is a private experience of grace.

With Communion, yes, a lot of people are present, but no one is really socializing with anyone else. You are just in a line to go up to receive. Perhaps a smaller parish would relax you?

Again, with RCIA, if you look around, you can find a parish with fewer people in the program. Sometimes our parish has 15 people, sometimes 3 people.

 

[brigid12]

Same problems here (plus depression) and noone else in my family is Catholic either. At most of the Catholic parishes I’ve been in on the Left Coast anyway, the screen for confession is the first thing you see in a Reconciliation Room so you don’t need to ask anyone about it first. At Communion most everyone is concerned with their own prayers anyway, so no need to worry there. So much is going on with Baptism and Confirmation that I, at least, didn’t have anxiety problems with Confirmation (was already Baptised). I don’t think that if you talk to (or e-mail) the priest and the RCIA Director you will find any problems with private lessons - at least until you feel more comfortable. I don’t think it’s all that unusual for there to be problems worried about in that area (probably says something about our society that it’s so prevalent?) so they (the priest and/or the RCIA Director) will have seen it before and be most helpful. During the ceremonies (at which, normally I’d have had definite anxieties) I didn’t at all - it’s almost as if the Holy Spirit is protecting a person. All you can really feel is the love (Love?) and total awe about what’s going on. I’m not the only one, either. I’ve heard some people that had HUGE problems with panic attacks, etc. say that anxiety during the ceremonies just wasn’t there!
Also, of course, for the other parts of your life if you can I would recommend getting a Dr and/or counselor helping you (but for the Catholic Church, I wouldn’t worry).
Oh, and btw I’ve noticed that I’ve felt less anxiety going into a large church vs. a small one. They are so large that you’re more anonymous. After the Mass starts I haven’t felt much anxiety. Only in walking into a new (for me) church.

 

[fhansen]

There are many things that stop me from really considering joining the catholic church. One of course being certain beliefs/teachings that don’t seem right to me, and the fact that part of my family isn’t catholic…but, even if I came to believe it all, I still don’t think it would be possible.

It seems like becoming and being Catholic is largely a social thing…there’s confession, mass, RCIA, confirmation, baptism…all that. And that’s a problem because I have social anxiety, agoraphobic tendencies and possibly GAD.

Does anyone else here have a similar problem and/or situation? How do you deal with it? Can anyone give me any advice?



Note: I’m still trying to find my way around the forum, and I am not sure where this post should be. Sorry if its in the wrong spot! It’s only my 2nd.

I understand the social anxiety stuff but it’s hard to get away from it since community is and has always been such a central and important part of the Christian faith. Many of the “social” things you referred to are sacraments-external signs of Gods’ grace and presence with us. Having them sort of makes real or gives flesh to the spiritual realities which they point to. We relate better to the physical, especially since our natures here on earth are more fleshly oriented and in need of spiritual conversion-a process which takes place over time. Pray about it and pray especially for an increase in love-that makes it easier to accept people -and being around them -and LOVE is our ultimate goal anyway. For what it’s worth that has made it easier for me.

 

[abbegirl]

I know about your suffering, I have a family member with a anxiety disorder also. It has been a long struggle but with prayer and learning we are beginning to overcome this disorder. We started a new program with Lucinda Basset. Her web site is www.stesscenter.com . God Bless you.

 

[Cajetan]

I think it’s fairly easy to be autonomous as a Catholic, much moreso than in Evangelical Protestant circles. Not that you should be this way – being part of your faith community is very important. But I certainly did not feel much pressure from my fellow parishioners to “jump right in” when I became a Catholic.

 

[Conservative]

There are many things that stop me from really considering joining the catholic church. One of course being certain beliefs/teachings that don’t seem right to me, and the fact that part of my family isn’t catholic…but, even if I came to believe it all, I still don’t think it would be possible.

It seems like becoming and being Catholic is largely a social thing…there’s confession, mass, RCIA, confirmation, baptism…all that. And that’s a problem because I have social anxiety, agoraphobic tendencies and possibly GAD.

Does anyone else here have a similar problem and/or situation? How do you deal with it? Can anyone give me any advice?



Note: I’m still trying to find my way around the forum, and I am not sure where this post should be. Sorry if its in the wrong spot! It’s only my 2nd.

First, you must pray - to the Holy Spirit to be guided.

Second, family issues are dependent on your age. If you are seriously considering/committed to Catholicsm, then you should let nothing stand in your way. If you’d like to share about what beliefs you’re having problems coming to terms with, perhaps someone here can help discuss or explain any questions. But a local priest would be good.

Third - Catholicism social? Often I’ve heard or noted the opposite where other faiths are more social - be it during services or after.
Baptism and Confirmation are one-time-only administered sacraments. All you need is a priest for Baptism and Bishop for Confirmation - and a godparent for both sacraments.
Confession is between you and the priest.
Mass would seem to be your big roadblock since you must attend once a week on Sunday; and on required holydays. But why not consider a Mass scheduled at a time when fewer are in attendance - giving you a choice of seating apart, etc. There are many who don’t have anxiety issues but who just prefer being to themselves in Church.

It couldn’t hurt to speak with a priest who is counseling you through your possible conversion - so as to advise you on how to manage these issues. Perhaps, with confession, you could find a regular confessor - who understands about GAD and will work with you.

Catholics pray to St. Jude, Patron of impossible things and
St. Dymphna, Patroness of emotional disorders (which GAD would fall into I think)
But - You don’t have to be Catholic to get their help. Just ask!

In the meantime, offer up these difficulties to God - He sees your efforts and will reward them.
May God and Our Lady Bless You in your Quest.