Some concerns

[ble]

Hello friends,

I’ve visited a very big order recently as I discern my vocation. I love the people there and the things that I will be doing, which will be missionary work; working with the poor. But there are things that I observed that I’m concerned about; that I will be sharing below. I’m not sure if I should be concerned or not.

During the small group Mass, everyone sits in chairs or sofas in a circle. Everyone sits through the entire duration of the Mass, no standing or kneeling at all; although it is done reverently. I guessed in the missionary setting, there may not be chairs or kneelers. I do not find it very hard to stand though and there are plenty of rooms to stand, so I do not know why no one stands, especially during the Eucharistic Prayer.

The second part is inclusive language in the Mass, replacing “Lord” for “God” and “His” or “Him” for “God” as well. I have little problem with “brothers and sisters”, etc. when referring to the people though. I’ve been attending Mass in San Diego most of my life, so I’m not used to the change. Coupled this with everyone sitting so comfortably the whole Mass, my heart kind of sank. I don’t know if it is for the right reason though.

Sadly, I was not accepted to the Diocese of San Diego, so have looked elsewhere. This is an order where I find myself most compatible with what I would like to do in the future. Everyone there is very friendly, and in my opinion have great love for God. Am I making something big out of something small? May I get your opinions?

Warmest regards,
-Ben

 

[Friar_David_O.Carm]

Hello friends,

I’ve visited a very big order recently as I discern my vocation. I love the people there and the things that I will be doing, which will be missionary work; working with the poor. But there are things that I observed that I’m concerned about; that I will be sharing below. I’m not sure if I should be concerned or not.

During the small group Mass, everyone sits in chairs or sofas in a circle. Everyone sits through the entire duration of the Mass, no standing or kneeling at all; although it is done reverently. I guessed in the missionary setting, there may not be chairs or kneelers. I do not find it very hard to stand though and there are plenty of rooms to stand, so I do not know why no one stands, especially during the Eucharistic Prayer.

The second part is inclusive language in the Mass, replacing “Lord” for “God” and “His” or “Him” for “God” as well. I have little problem with “brothers and sisters”, etc. when referring to the people though. I’ve been attending Mass in San Diego most of my life, so I’m not used to the change. Coupled this with everyone sitting so comfortably the whole Mass, my heart kind of sank. I don’t know if it is for the right reason though.

Sadly, I was not accepted to the Diocese of San Diego, so have looked elsewhere. This is an order where I find myself most compatible with what I would like to do in the future. Everyone there is very friendly, and in my opinion have great love for God. Am I making something big out of something small? May I get your opinions?

Warmest regards,
-Ben

Keep in mind this is just one community of the order that you visited. The way they celebrated Mass may not be the norm for all the other communities.

I had some small issues with the order I joined.

I reminded my self that while I had these issues I was never going to find a group that was perfect. I know myself and keep true to that which is the most important thing. I also found a lot of guys within the order that I liked and have developed a great relationship with.

Remember you will never find the perfect group.

 

[Ocarm]

Hello friends,

I’ve visited a very big order recently as I discern my vocation. I love the people there and the things that I will be doing, which will be missionary work; working with the poor. But there are things that I observed that I’m concerned about; that I will be sharing below. I’m not sure if I should be concerned or not.

This may or may not be relevant to the situation you witnessed, but many religious institutes, most especially clerical orders of pontifical right, have accumulated customs over the centuries that persist in their liturgy and devotions. Sometimes these customs have very specific meanings relating to historical events, and sometimes they are simply an expression of longstanding habits.

Canon law not only allows for but promotes the importance of custom in liturgy, and in chapels or oratories of religious institutes you might often see practices that are different to universal norms. The freedom to retain these customs evidences the fact that absolute homogeneity of worship has never been the case within the Latin Church (to say nothong of the other churches in communion with Rome); and some of the ancient orders had or have their own eucharistic rites, used only by them.

It is possible that the practice of sitting during mass is just such a custom; in one of our Carmelite houses here in the UK, it is customary to stand throughout mass rather than kneel, even though kneelers are available; it is also customary for ordained brothers to wear the habit rather than clerical vestments during a mass unless they are presiding. Such things might not be permitted in diocesan churches, even if the same institute that practices the custom is in charge of a parish, because in that instance the norms of the diocese rather than the religious institute would prevail.

I know that may sound complicated, but my point is that proper practices in religious life are often different to what you might see elsewhere. This can be puzzling, but is actually part of the richness and diversity of religious life. In a roundabout way, what I’m saying is that religious life and religious institutes are unique, and that includes some aspects of their liturgy.

Best wishes in your discernment and I’ll be praying for you.

 

[PJM]

=ble;6188606]Hello friends,

I’ve visited a very big order recently as I discern my vocation. I love the people there and the things that I will be doing, which will be missionary work; working with the poor. But there are things that I observed that I’m concerned about; that I will be sharing below. I’m not sure if I should be concerned or not.

During the small group Mass, everyone sits in chairs or sofas in a circle. Everyone sits through the entire duration of the Mass, no standing or kneeling at all; although it is done reverently. I guessed in the missionary setting, there may not be chairs or kneelers. I do not find it very hard to stand though and there are plenty of rooms to stand, so I do not know why no one stands, especially during the Eucharistic Prayer.

The second part is inclusive language in the Mass, replacing “Lord” for “God” and “His” or “Him” for “God” as well. I have little problem with “brothers and sisters”, etc. when referring to the people though. I’ve been attending Mass in San Diego most of my life, so I’m not used to the change. Coupled this with everyone sitting so comfortably the whole Mass, my heart kind of sank. I don’t know if it is for the right reason though.

Sadly, I was not accepted to the Diocese of San Diego, so have looked elsewhere. This is an order where I find myself most compatible with what I would like to do in the future. Everyone there is very friendly, and in my opinion have great love for God. Am I making something big out of something small? May I get your opinions?

Warmest regards,
-Ben

Dear Ben,

As you well know God speaks with a very quiet voice. “By there fruits you shall know them.”

These are “men of God” at least in theory.

It may well be [because it is so widely held in “catholic” circles today] that there is a serious either lack of understanding, or lack of belief in Christ Real Presence. Cardinal George when he took over Chicago, was at a semminary where the men did not kneel at Mass. He told the Rector -Priest in charge “to please have them kneel” and the Rector -priest said something to the effect of ; “but your Emminance, we don’t have kneelers.” His reply was, “I didn’t say anything about kneelers,” just kneeling. These are :men of God?"

I humby, carefully and prayerfully suggest you take your vocation elsewhere. As for your being turned down is San Deigo. The state of Calfornia, led by the influence [MOSTLY very bad] of Bishop [or Cardinal Maloneyl? I’m having a senior moment] could well mean you were too “Traditional” or them?

Not only are you correct about the lack of reasonable reverance in Christ Presence, but you gut feeling is confirmed by the very Modern use of Inclusive language. If you don’t sek trouble, your less likely to find it.

Have you looked into the Redeemptorist? I know they are BIG in the Missions. And while they are not the most Traditional, they are “suitably so.”

I’ll keep you in my prayers,

Spend time in front the Reservered Presence. God will direct you.

Pat

 

[Friar_David_O.Carm]

Dear Ben,

As you well know God speaks with a very quiet voice. “By there fruits you shall know them.”

These are “men of God” at least in theory.

Very uncharitable of you.

You do not know the order involved, you do not know the people involved, you do not know the circumstances involved.

As my brother Carmelite Mike clearly points out there are other issues at play when dealing with religious orders.

 

[grace_singh]

PJM may have some good points.

if you find yourself unhappy with the way the service is conducted, are wary of the inclusive language, perhaps you would feel more comfortable in a more Traditional order.

i’m not a Catholic, but issues such as no one standing during the Eucharistic prayer and no kneeling at any time during the service would probably leave me disappointed if not some what alarmed, too.

imagine sitting in Mass as often as you would, sitting in a circle, no kneeling, no traditional genuflection, and a nagging feeling that somehow this wasn’t right. it would certainly distract you from worship. first impressions are often the most important to listen to.

i’m not condemning the people you met, but for your own sake, if you feel unsure enough about this to mention it to us, you may wish to look at other orders, too.

 

[PJM]

=ByzCath;6189647]Very uncharitable of you.

You do not know the order involved, you do not know the people involved, you do not know the circumstances involved.

As my brother Carmelite Mike clearly points out there are other issues at play when dealing with religious orders.

*** My dear friend in Christ,

Sorry, but I see no lack of charity in responding to specific questions based on specifies supplied facts.

For “men of God” to be sitting around for any reason, through the ENTIRE MASS, in the Presence of Divinity ought not to be excused. Further the use of Inclusive Language has not been approved by Rome. Therefore it is not a personal option.

This concept of “personal choices“ is what has placed our Church in such dire condition. According to the 2008 PEW Report, self-proclaimed Catholic [Sunday and Holy Day] Mass attendance has dropped from around 70% in 1970 to 23% in 2008. SHOCKING!

This too is caused by those who feel they have some un-given right to usurp Rome’s authority.

Our friend Ben is rightly concerned about these conditions, and my post, as truth, and as a specific reply to very specific questions was necessary in order to provide the requested information.

I do agree, that this is a sad state of affairs.

May our God continue to guide and Bless you both.***

Pat

 

[Friar_David_O.Carm]

*** My dear friend in Christ,

Sorry, but I see no lack of charity in responding to specific questions based on specifies supplied facts.

For “men of God” to be sitting around for any reason, through the ENTIRE MASS, in the Presence of Divinity ought not to be excused. Further the use of Inclusive Language has not been approved by Rome. Therefore it is not a personal option.

This concept of “personal choices“ is what has placed our Church in such dire condition. According to the 2008 PEW Report, self-proclaimed Catholic [Sunday and Holy Day] Mass attendance has dropped from around 70% in 1970 to 23% in 2008. SHOCKING!

This too is caused by those who feel they have some un-given right to usurp Rome’s authority.

Our friend Ben is rightly concerned about these conditions, and my post, as truth, and as a specific reply to very specific questions was necessary in order to provide the requested information.

I do agree, that this is a sad state of affairs.

May our God continue to guide and Bless you both.***

Pat

I am sorry but you are not just commenting, you are passing judgment and condemning.

Just look at the difference between your post and Grace’s post. You pass judgment you are not qualified to give while Grace comments on what was posted.

 

[JReducation]

*** My dear friend in Christ,

Sorry, but I see no lack of charity in responding to specific questions based on specifies supplied facts.

For “men of God” to be sitting around for any reason, through the ENTIRE MASS, in the Presence of Divinity ought not to be excused. Further the use of Inclusive Language has not been approved by Rome. Therefore it is not a personal option.

This concept of “personal choices“ is what has placed our Church in such dire condition. According to the 2008 PEW Report, self-proclaimed Catholic [Sunday and Holy Day] Mass attendance has dropped from around 70% in 1970 to 23% in 2008. SHOCKING!

This too is caused by those who feel they have some un-given right to usurp Rome’s authority.

Our friend Ben is rightly concerned about these conditions, and my post, as truth, and as a specific reply to very specific questions was necessary in order to provide the requested information.

I do agree, that this is a sad state of affairs.

May our God continue to guide and Bless you both.***

Pat

My Carmelite conferes are correct. What is allowed to male religious orders of pontifical right is not always allowed in diocesan parishes or even seen by the laity. You cannot make a blanket statement that these men are out of compliance. You need to know their rule, their foiunder, their traditions, their history, their constitution and their liturgical customs.

Many of us have customs that date back hundreds of years and are never known by the laity, but have the approval of the Church. If you go to a Reformation Franciscan chapel you will not find kneelers. The Reformation Franciscans have not knelt during the Eucharistic prayer since 1516… You will not find men called Father, even at mass, except for the superior of the house, who may or may not be a priest.

Even if you’re a priest, you may not celebrate mass without the permission of the Guardian. That has been the practice since 1209. Guardians only grant permission to celebrate dailly mass to those brother priests who must do so to satisfy a pastoral need. Otherwise, every brother priest attends the community mass like any other brother.

Until Vatican II, Gregorian chant was banned in all houses of male Franciscans, under orders from St. Francis. The community liturgy was recited and so was the Liturgy of the Hours. The chant was only used in diocesan and public places of worship where the laity was present.

None of these practices are ever done in public churches. In public churches, priests who are religious must comply with the universal practices of the Church and the rules of the local diocese.

One must be careful not to pass judgement without knowing the history of each religious family, especially religious orders. Religious congregations have less privileges, because they are younger.

Fraternally,

Br. JR, OSF

 

[ble]

Dear Br. JR, Br. David, Pat, Grace;

Thank you for your comments and information. The order I visited is the Divine Word Missionaries, serving over 70 countries around the world; but mainly working with the poor. My desire is to serve the poor, and this order would allow me to use all the talents that God has given to me to serve them.

Unfortunately, the reason I’m rejected from the Diocese of San Diego is because of my not so perfect past. Our Bishop is Bishop Brom; a very humble soul who lives a very austere and prayerful life. You will find that San Diego is a very orthodox diocese under his directions. And having living here for more than 25 years, I guessed I find the change at Divine Word Missionaries a little bit unnerving. But if the sittings only during Mass is a custom and tradition of the order, I guessed would not have a problem with it. I will ask my vocations director there.

I cannot do anything about the inclusive language though; as that is how they’ve been celebrating their Masses. I know that when I attend Jesuits Mass in LA, they always use inclusive language. Every community is different I guessed. Although my preference is a Mass more inline with the Mass rubrics in terms of language, my focus is to bring Jesus to the poor; I do not want this to be an issue that would prevent me from serving God to the best of my abilities. I don’t want to lose sleep over it either; I’m sure God does not want it as well.

Thank you for all your prayers; and again your comments.

God bless!
Ben

 

[PJM]

=ByzCath;6190010]I am sorry but you are not just commenting, you are passing judgment and condemning.

Just look at the difference between your post and Grace’s post. You pass judgment you are not qualified to give while Grace comments on what was posted.

Brother David,

Your point is valid and very well made.

Thank you,

Love and prayers,

Pat

 

[JReducation]

Dear Br. JR, Br. David, Pat, Grace;

Thank you for your comments and information. The order I visited is the Divine Word Missionaries, serving over 70 countries around the world; but mainly working with the poor. My desire is to serve the poor, and this order would allow me to use all the talents that God has given to me to serve them.

Unfortunately, the reason I’m rejected from the Diocese of San Diego is because of my not so perfect past. Our Bishop is Bishop Brom; a very humble soul who lives a very austere and prayerful life. You will find that San Diego is a very orthodox diocese under his directions. And having living here for more than 25 years, I guessed I find the change at Divine Word Missionaries a little bit unnerving. But if the sittings only during Mass is a custom and tradition of the order, I guessed would not have a problem with it. I will ask my vocations director there.

I cannot do anything about the inclusive language though; as that is how they’ve been celebrating their Masses. I know that when I attend Jesuits Mass in LA, they always use inclusive language. Every community is different I guessed. Although my preference is a Mass more inline with the Mass rubrics in terms of language, my focus is to bring Jesus to the poor; I do not want this to be an issue that would prevent me from serving God to the best of my abilities. I don’t want to lose sleep over it either; I’m sure God does not want it as well.

Thank you for all your prayers; and again your comments.

God bless!
Ben

My suggestion to anyone who is looking at religious life is to look at the big picture. We enter religious life not so much TO DO, but TO BE. We can all social workers among the poor, teachers, nurses, priests, missionaries and more without being religious. There are hundreds of thousands of Catholics involved in these different ministries and are not religious.

If you’re looking at a religious community you are seeking to become SOMEONE. You enter the Carmelites, because you want to be a Carmelite, the same with a Franciscan, or a Missionary of the Divine Word. In other words, you are entering because Christ is calling you to holiness through that particular way of life.

Each one of these families has their own means to holiness, along with those that they share with the universal Church. But the reason that they exist is because through them the Holy Spirit provides a means to holiness that cannot be found elsewhere. What you find in the Society of the Divine Word is not the same as what you will find in the Order of Our Lady of Mt. Carmel or the Order of St. Francis. To each family the Holy Spirit gives different gifts and different ways of living the Gospel. What we share in common is the call to holiness. What makes us different from other men and women is how God maps out that call.

This map is expressed through the statutes of the institute, the spirit of the founder, the constitutions approved by the Church and the voice of the community all in communion with each other. None of these elements stands alone. If a religious community has specific customs that they observe during the liturgy, those are part of their map to holiness. If this map is approved by the Church, then it is safely assumed that it has been given to them by the Holy Spirit.

That being said, religious life is like seeking a bride. You do not marry someone with whom you’re uncomfortable. However, the fact that you’re uncomfortable with a particular woman does not mean that she is not a suitable wife. She is a suitable wife for someone else, just not for you. On the other hand, just like in courtship and marriage, you will never find a bride that does not have some thing that you do not like. But when you truly love her, you can live with those little things. Eventually, you don’t even notice them.

I’ll give you a simple example from my own vocation. I entered religious life in my late 40s. I had a career, had been married and widowed, had raised two children. The idea that I had to ask for permission to remain in the chapel after Night Prayer surprised me. I thought religious could pray all the time, if they wanted to do so. I thought that big boys didn’t need a bed time. Now, it’s second nature. When we finish Night Prayer, we go to our rooms. I never give it a second thought. If you have a need to stay up, you tell the superior, no big deal. He never says no, unless he believes it’s not good for your health.

We learn to make compromises. This is essential to a life of obedience and to a life of collegiality among brothers in a community. If you don’t make compromises, community life falls apart. If making compromises is a difficulty, then one must seriously ask oneself whether one has a calling to religious life. Religious communities are like any other family. They have their own identity and their own quirks too.

Just like courtship where you don’t see the quirks in your in-laws and their customs until you begin to get closer to them, the average lay person in the pew does not see the quirks and customs of religious communities. It’s not necessary for them, because it’s not their calling. Just as most people don’t kow the customs and quirks of very family when they meet a marrid couple.

I hope this helps some people.

Fraternally,

Br. JR, OSF

 

[anode]

Brother David,

Your point is valid and very well made.

Thank you,

Love and prayers,

Pat

Small point: were all the religious you visited able-bodied? Able to stand and kneel at will? I can’t. Maybe there were a number who *weren’t *able, and the superior decided to alter the form rather than single out these individuals or make them feel that they weren’t fully participating.

JR’s and the others observations are well noted. It* is *like dating and choosing a mate; you need a lot more information and experience, and, even then, the order you choose won’t be perfect.

 

[Rising_Suns]

Dear Ben,
May the peace of Christ be with you.

In addition to the helpful post above by JR, I would only add one small note. Please remember in your discernment what it means to be called to the religious life. More than anything else, the religious life is a calling to be crucified to ourselves. When religious take the vows of poverty, chastity, and obedience, they are in effect signing their lives over to God to place their bodies on the cross. It is a calling that is very different from a diocesian priest, who does not take vows to the evangelical cousncels. Please understand this. This is the essence and zenith of religious life, more than any exterior apostolate, more than even delighting in consolations through hours of prayer and meditation. Religious are not called to rest, but to work, to make continual acts of penance and mortification in reparations for the sins of mankind, and to die to themselves out of love for others so that Christ may live in them unhindered. To love is to suffer. This is what it means to be a saint, and the religious life was designed by Our Lady as the surest path to become one.

As you continue your discernment and visit communities, it is good to always ask yourself: Can I see myself dying to myself in this community? Can I see myself truly loving to the point of submitting my will completely to my superior? Can I see myself fasting and doing other simple forms of daily penances? (not necessarily scourging oneself) Do I see myself standing up for truth, and being pushed beyond what I thought I was capable of? Do I see myself in love, not in the way society tells us love is, but true love, love in its most authentic form, which is the cross. These are the things I would look for while discerning, remembering always that the highest form of love is not in warm fuzzy feelings, but it is proved and tested only through the redemptive value of suffering, which is meritorious and more efficasious at converting sinners than the most eloquent and passionate sermons. Love itself was crucified 2,000 years ago, his body drained with blood, and his flesh torn from his body, which he willing underwent to save mankind. The call to the religious life demands unlimited generosity on our parts; to be patterned and molded by Our Lady in the image of her Divine Son. When you enter religious life, you are not simply encouraged to become a saint, but you are obliged to become one. Please remember this as you continue in your discernment;

Saint Francis De Sales**:**
“Many enter religion without knowing why they do so. They come into a convent parlour, they see nuns with calm faces, full of cheerfulness modesty and content, and they say to themselves: ‘What a happy place this is! Let us come to it…Others come in order to find peace, consolation and all sorts of sweetness, saying in their minds: ‘How happy religious are! They have got safe away from all their home worries; from their parents continual ordering about and fault-finding – let us enter religion.’

"These reasons are worth nothing. Let us consider whether we have sufficient courage and resolution to crucify and annihilate ourselves, or rather to permit God to do so. You must understand what it is to be a religious. It is to be bound to God by the continual mortification of ourselves, and to live only for Him. Our heart is surrendered always and wholly to His Divine Majesty; our eyes, tongue, hands and all our members serve Him continually. Look well into your heart and see if you have resolution enough to die to yourself and to live only to God. Religion is nothing else than a school of renunciation and self mortification.”

religious-vocation.com/discerning_religious_vocation.html

.

 

[JReducation]

Saint Francis De Sales**:**
“Many enter religion without knowing why they do so. They come into a convent parlour, they see nuns with calm faces, full of cheerfulness modesty and content, and they say to themselves: ‘What a happy place this is! Let us come to it…Others come in order to find peace, consolation and all sorts of sweetness, saying in their minds: ‘How happy religious are! They have got safe away from all their home worries; from their parents continual ordering about and fault-finding – let us enter religion.’

"These reasons are worth nothing. Let us consider whether we have sufficient courage and resolution to crucify and annihilate ourselves, or rather to permit God to do so. You must understand what it is to be a religious. It is to be bound to God by the continual mortification of ourselves, and to live only for Him. Our heart is surrendered always and wholly to His Divine Majesty; our eyes, tongue, hands and all our members serve Him continually. Look well into your heart and see if you have resolution enough to die to yourself and to live only to God. Religion is nothing else than a school of renunciation and self mortification.”

Thank you so much for sharing this citation from St. Francis de Sales. I had read this many years ago and had not looked at it again. It was good to read it and reflect on it in my own journey through religious life. I must honestly confess that in my own journey, dying to myself is currently my greatest challenge.

It’s funny, because as we get older, we move from one struggle to another. There is no resting place until we get to heaven. The struggles are always the same, against the will to do our own wishes and see things our way, but they manifest in different arenas. There was a time where my struggle was with a superior that I found irritating. Today, I look back and thinks of how immature I was. He was a very holy man, just irritating. But in my immaturity, I could only see the irritation, not the holiness. His holiness puts me to shame.

Today my struggle is still irritation, but not with a holy superior, but in the area of ministry. I work with a lay person who is very holy. Then there is always the “but”. My heart wants to say, “She’s very holy, but at times she’s wrong and I know that I’m right.”

The fact is that she has been wrong and has raked me over the coals for something that I know to be right. But I have to sit there quietly and wait for her to finish. If she gives me a chance, then I can get my two cents in. If she does not, then I just have to take the scolding and keep moving. She’s not a religious. She’s a lay person. But she’s the Director and I’m a team member. According to the Rule of St. Francis I must be quiet and submit, even in these cases where I’m being mistakenly corrected or scolded. I must offer up the sacrifice with Christ on the cross.

To control the passions often means more than just controlling our sexual urges. That’s easier than people think. I find that the most difficult passion to control is anger and indignation. To be quiet when one feels unjustly treated can sometimes lead to self-pity or resentment, unless one is willing to go before the Blessed Sacrament and lay out the problem and ask Christ to make mold us into living sacrifices for the sake of love.

In fact, tonight I was before the tabernacle praying over this very issue. It was beautiful to realize that this person can and has been unfair to me, but not because she lacks charity, but because she has her own personality and her own style of dealing with stressful situations, which is different from mine. Accpeting this is not an easy thing to do. But for the Franciscan, who is required to be submissive to all men, this is a duty. It is the path to holiness that Christ has chosen for us who belong to this family.

This takes me back to the OP. When you come into a religious family, such as my own, you must ask yourself, “Can I do this?” It’s not a matter of whether or not I’ve got this discipline or this virtue mastered. It’s a matter of whether or not I can struggle to master this discipline or this virtue without losing my inner peace, my inner silence, my inner desire to please God and maintain my focus on what really matters. If something about the discipline or practices of a religious community is too challenging, to the point that it will interfere in my journey toward the perfection of charity, then this is not the community for me. On the other hand, if it is challenging, but I feel up to challenge and I know that I can get up and try again and again without being afraid and without losing heart, then I know that I’m home.

The religious life, as St. Francis de Sales says, is not about everything being as perfect on the inside as it looks on the outside, but about everything being doable for me. If it’s not doable, then it’s not where Christ is calling. Christ does not call us to fail. He calls us to success. But we must remember that success is not to be found in the externals, but in the heart. If my heart is changing, then every day is a single step closer toward success. What is the success to which we aspire? The perfection of charity.

Every day, every year, in every house to which I go, there is going to be another challenge, another step, another deep breadth that must be taken on the journey toward perfect charity.

Fraternally,

Br. JR, OSF

 

[Sister_Rose]

During the small group Mass, everyone sits in chairs or sofas in a circle. Everyone sits through the entire duration of the Mass, no standing or kneeling at all; although it is done reverently. I guessed in the missionary setting, there may not be chairs or kneelers. I do not find it very hard to stand though and there are plenty of rooms to stand, so I do not know why no one stands, especially during the Eucharistic Prayer.

The second part is inclusive language in the Mass, replacing “Lord” for “God” and “His” or “Him” for “God” as well. I have little problem with “brothers and sisters”, etc. when referring to the people though. I’ve been attending Mass in San Diego most of my life, so I’m not used to the change. Coupled this with everyone sitting so comfortably the whole Mass, my heart kind of sank. I don’t know if it is for the right reason though.

Sadly, I was not accepted to the Diocese of San Diego, so have looked elsewhere. This is an order where I find myself most compatible with what I would like to do in the future. Everyone there is very friendly, and in my opinion have great love for God. Am I making something big out of something small? May I get your opinions?

Warmest regards,
-Ben

You know, you may want to just ask someone why they sit through the whole Mass. Sometimes little traditions/habits like that creep into religious life without people even realizing it. There may be others who are also wondering that, but have never had the courage to ask.

I would imagine that the inclusive language is a result of feminism. They may be close to religious communities of women who are very feminist. Seeing as how the church is now working on a new translation of the Mass/Sacramentary, you may be able to ask their opinions on the new translation. Their responses might give you an idea of what is behind their use of the inclusive language.

Sometimes you can like the members of a community very much, but not be called to join them. I’m concerned about whether you really feel called to be with them. You said that unfortunately the diocese of San Diego wouldn’t accept you. Are you just settling for this community?

 

[Rising_Suns]

In fact, tonight I was before the tabernacle praying over this very issue. It was beautiful to realize that this person can and has been unfair to me, but not because she lacks charity, but because she has her own personality and her own style of dealing with stressful situations, which is different from mine. Accpeting this is not an easy thing to do. But for the Franciscan, who is required to be submissive to all men, this is a duty. It is the path to holiness that Christ has chosen for us who belong to this family.

It is interesting, because the Saints tell us that it is the very people who irritate us the most, that we need in our lives more than anyone else. Such people are one of God’s greatest gifts to us, because they are a means for our sanctification.

There is an often quoted phrase regarding religious life, which you might have heard before; “The greatest penance of community life, is community life.” There is some truth to this statement, because God uses people, more than anything else in life, to sanctify other people. (I also like this one; “There will always be Judas’ among disciples”). The saints were able to recognize such incredible gifts. Where most people would see an immense burden, to have to deal with unlovable people, the saints would rejoice from being slandered or insulted and would use it a reason to love the person even more, and be even more kind and loving to them. And as Fr. J. Hardon noted, by doing so, the saints not only merited grace for themselves, but they also merited grace for those very people who abuse them. It is the greatest crowning glory that they will receive in heaven, to be an instrument of life for a dying soul. And it is only by love. Jesus told Saint Faustina that she was able to save 1,000 souls in just 40 days. And all she did was love. And her love was a love to the highest degree, that is; self-denial, sacrifice, penance, and obedience. These are the greatest mechanisms of conversion that we have this side of heaven. As Our Lord said, if the angels were capable of envy, they would envy the human race for two reasons; because we are able to receive Holy Communion, and because we can suffer. How truly Christ-like this is, to burn with love and die to our nature for those very people who abuse us, and thus win their salvation. And how far we are from this.

.

 

[ble]

Hello everyone,

Thank you very much for your (name removed by moderator)uts and opinions. I’ve made a decision two weeks ago to enter the order and now I am there. The first week was very difficult for me as I lay in bed at night fighting with myself whether I am in the right place. I was not comfortable with some of the practices of the order, and some of them are small quibbles.

The order is a missionary order so we are in the forefront of ecumenism with other religions and people; so that is why they require the use of inclusive language, so that we can dialog with others. The theology school we attend has a policy of inclusive language use only, as they get many students from other Christian denominations and other religions. I read that one out of 6 priests in the United States is a graduate of this school.

One brother told me why we sat the entire Mass. He said he was surprised at first too until he learned why. It is to imitate the first Mass led by Jesus in which all the disciples were sitting. Everyone is young and can stand or sit, so it is not because that they cannot stand or kneel. I will be taking seminars on the charism of the order in the future so they will be further explained.

I find that there are a range of people here, some very orthodox while others are very progressive, including one who tells me missing Sunday Mass is not a sin (in no context, he just doesn’t believe it is a sin). I will follow the advice given to me by an old Franciscan brother I know in San Diego, which is to keep my eyes on the truth and serve God in my brothers and sisters all around the world with all my heart.

Once I’m passed my initial shock, I think I will grow to love my new family.

God bless!
-Ben

 

[JReducation]

Hello everyone,

Thank you very much for your (name removed by moderator)uts and opinions. I’ve made a decision two weeks ago to enter the order and now I am there. The first week was very difficult for me as I lay in bed at night fighting with myself whether I am in the right place. I was not comfortable with some of the practices of the order, and some of them are small quibbles.

The order is a missionary order so we are in the forefront of ecumenism with other religions and people; so that is why they require the use of inclusive language, so that we can dialog with others. The theology school we attend has a policy of inclusive language use only, as they get many students from other Christian denominations and other religions. I read that one out of 6 priests in the United States is a graduate of this school.

One brother told me why we sat the entire Mass. He said he was surprised at first too until he learned why. It is to imitate the first Mass led by Jesus in which all the disciples were sitting. Everyone is young and can stand or sit, so it is not because that they cannot stand or kneel. I will be taking seminars on the charism of the order in the future so they will be further explained.

I find that there are a range of people here, some very orthodox while others are very progressive, including one who tells me missing Sunday Mass is not a sin (in no context, he just doesn’t believe it is a sin). I will follow the advice given to me by an old Franciscan brother I know in San Diego, which is to keep my eyes on the truth and serve God in my brothers and sisters all around the world with all my heart.

Once I’m passed my initial shock, I think I will grow to love my new family.

God bless!
-Ben

Keep your attention the mission and vision of the founder of the Society and you will do fine. Pray for me.

Fraternally,

Br. JR, OSF

 

[Ocarm]

Hello everyone,

Thank you very much for your (name removed by moderator)uts and opinions. I’ve made a decision two weeks ago to enter the order and now I am there. The first week was very difficult for me as I lay in bed at night fighting with myself whether I am in the right place. I was not comfortable with some of the practices of the order, and some of them are small quibbles.

Ben,

Congratulations on taking this difficult step. Following God’s will is often the proverbial leap in the dark, but it nevertheless is the only way to bring ourselves into the light.

Becoming used to the ways of the people around you is always a challenge, but to use an old metaphor regarding consecrated life, a religious community is like a gathering of stones banging against each other in a noisy and sometimes rough fashion; but through this process the sharp edges of the stones are made smooth.

So it is that our flaws and weaknesses are exposed in community life and we learn how to ask for the aid that we need from God and from other people to amend them. Small irritations with other people and routines are unimportant compared with the humbling realisation of just how much we need forgiveness and compassion from others to become the person that God wants us to be. Or so I have found.

Best wishes and prayers for you in your ongoing discernment.