Some confessions

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Do you think that it is appropriate to tell a celibate priest all about your sexual sins? Ever think just maybe, that people confessing those were the cause of some of the priests misconduct in sexual matters of their own?
 
I may not expound on details, but really, all the priest really needs to know is it was an impure act/thought and anything that would make it worse (incestful, SSA, a violation of your vows, married or religious, etc.). I can’t imagine how confessing it that way would tempt the priest. And even if in the rare chance that it did cause the priest to misbehave, that’s not on me. I’m not in the confessional to tempt him, and the priest is the one who is responsible for his own actions.
 
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I honestly don’t think this is something to you need to worry about. Priest are trained and educated in how to hear Confessions.
 
No details. Tell them in general terms, and if they need more information, they will ask.
 
I don’t think hearing sexual sins in the confessional had anything to do with priestly sexual misconduct. One would have to have a very low opinion of priests in particular and people in general to assume that their self-control was so low that just hearing about sexual misconduct would send them flying into it themselves. Priestly sexual misconduct happened and still happens for the same reasons it does for anyone else–a lack of the virtue of chastity, seeking false comfort and compensations in times of great trial or interior lack, inner woundedness arising from original sin, from the sins of others, and from past history, or any number of other causes. Priestly sexual misconduct, being a sin, happens for the same reasons as any other sins. Hearing confessions doesn’t cause sins.

And again, this is another reason to be very general in confession. Simply say “I did X this number of times,” and trust that God is God and knows what you did and why you did it, and the priest is an educated man with a decent command of the language you both speak and understands what you meant. And if there’s need for clarification, the priest will ask. If someone confesses to pornography, I don’t need to know what kind unless that somehow morally complicates the issue (as in the case of child pornography). Conversely if someone says “I did stuff I wasn’t supposed to,” I might ask them what they mean by that, or if they’re similarly vague, I might ask if they acted alone or with another. But yes, less is more in confession. No need to go into a lot of detail; details are only necessary insofar as they affect the gravity of the act.

-Fr ACEGC
 
klmt123 said:
Do you think that it is appropriate to tell a celibate priest all about your sexual sins? Ever think just maybe, that people confessing those were the cause of some of the priests misconduct in sexual matters of their own?
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Do you think that if someone confesses to theft, the priest will go out and steal? do you think that if someone confesses to gossip, the priest will go out and gossip? do you think that if someone confesses to murder, the priest will go out and kill someone?
 
Well I understand what you are getting at, but you don’t need to go into chapter and verse, you just need to confess in a general way what has gone on and you can use appropriate language and not graphic or suggestive language. You can say you had impure thoughts but not say exactly what they were, for instance. Then remember that the priest is there ‘in the person of Jesus’ so there is a lot of protection for sin right there in that mere concept, assuming the priest comes to the confessional in a state of grace first for which there is that very same sacrament which is also offered to him. It’s not just us that go to confession, he does too. I’d say his propensity for sin ( sexual misconduct or other) depends on how well he uses that sacrament and how well he maintains his own spiritual life, far more than our confessions. If his spiritual life is effectively maintained then God’s grace would shield him.
 
No TMI. My priest just asks for me to confess the sin. He said if he needed more info, he would ask. But he never asks.
 
klmt123 said:
Do you think that it is appropriate to tell a celibate priest all about your sexual sins? Ever think just maybe, that people confessing those were the cause of some of the priests misconduct in sexual matters of their own?
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Why stop at ‘sexual sins’? Do you think priests skip Mass when penitents confess missing Mass?

No… it doesn’t stand to reason that, having heard a confession of “Father, I committed adultery” or “Father, I had impure thoughts”, a priest would then turn around and say “hmm! that sounds intriguing! I think I’ll go molest a child!” 😦
 
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I think that priests hear so many sexual sins confessed that they are soon bored at hearing them.
 
Yeah pretty much. By the time I’d been ordained about a month, I’d heard almost everything.
 
klmt123 said:
Do you think that it is appropriate to tell a celibate priest all about your sexual sins? Ever think just maybe, that people confessing those were the cause of some of the priests misconduct in sexual matters of their own?
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Do you think sexual sins have changed since the days when Christ walked the earth?

The idea that any type of misconduct occurred due to the confessional is absurd on its face.
 
When I was sexually active, I would say “I have sinned against purity in thought, word, and deed.” If the priest wanted further information, I would supply it willingly, as ultimately I am confessing to Jesus, not the priest. That said, the priest is acting as a vessel of sorts, and he is just a man at the end of the day, so I’d say something that wasn’t too explicit so that it wouldn’t embarrass or afflict him with unnecessary temptation or improper thoughts. We don’t know, after all, if he is being tempted himself.

On one occasion at Santiago da Compostella, I felt moved to go to confession and the priest didn’t speak English so I used my pidgin Italian and said “Sono andata al letto”, which means “I went to bed with”. Those days are behind me now, thanks be to God! My sins sounded so lovely in Italian, actually, that I wasn’t sure if I was sorry or not!! (JOKING!)

When I was in my teens a priest came to our parish as a one off and was asking parishioners if he could help them make a good confession by asking them questions during it rather than having us just awkwardly go through things and miss stuff out because of embarrassment. Anyway, I went to confession then and he asked me if I had a boyfriend, I said yes, and he asked me if I was pure. I said that I hadn’t had sex with him! Then he wanted me to tell him what I had done with him. At the time I innocently told him but looking back that made me feel somewhat uneasy. I know we are obliged to confess all mortal sins, and ultimately ignorance isn’t really an excuse and I thank him ultimately for allowing me to make a full confession, but given some of the incidences of abuse in the church it does make one think, because it could be hugely misconstrued.

It’s definitely a head-scratcher of an issue because such things obviously need to be confessed, they need to be de-stigmatised within the church and society and discussed healthily, and the way of the world is that children are becoming sexually active at a younger and younger age… oh, what to do!!!
 
It was just a thought. Not a big deal. I know that people can really get led astray by what they hear and see and people they’re around. People can rub off on each other.
 
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klmt123 said:
I know that people can really get led astray by what they hear and see and people they’re around.
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Right. But that would mean that there was already the seed of temptation in the person, and the experiences they had had, merely intensified that temptation.
 
I believe most priests will tell you that it is a joy for them to hear confessions. They have amnesia when it comes to the sins being confessed. But they feel joy to give absolution to those confessing. They are welcoming sinners back to the community of the faithful. What could be better?
 
Haha! That’s kind of funny , maybe not as much as they used to since less people attend churches now days lol
 
There is a story I heard some years ago. In the 1920s, a young priest in Savannah wanted to promote people going to confession. he took out a new $20 bill out of his pocket and said that he would give this $20 to the penitent who confessed a sin that he had never heard.
Years went by. In the 1960s the priest was found dead in the rectory of his parish. He apparently died of a heart attack. In his pocket was the crumpled up $20 bill.
 
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