Some Major Problems

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To be clear, I am not asking for advice on whether something is a sin or not. I’m asking if others have experienced what I am and how they dealt with it.
As I mentioned in another post, I stopped the big M sin back in February and have not looked back. I have also begun going to Confession monthly and praying daily.
However, my anxiety seems to have increased. Since the Parkland, Florida shooting, I am so scared of death, I am so scared of dying in mortal sin, and I am so scared of sinning at all.
Basic, everyday things, are disturbed by my ever-active mind. I can’t watch a movie without worrying if watching it (most of the time it’s PG to PG-13) is a sin or if something I did earlier in the day is a sin. I made cupcakes the other day and was trying to concentrate on the recipe and the music I was bopping along to and these thoughts entered my mind. I also began, in February, to break the habit of taking the Lord’s name in vain in surprise. However, whenever I say “Oh my gosh” or “Oh my goodness”, I get the fear that I might be saying “God” instead, even though I’m pretty sure I haven’t. Then, I say an Act of Contrition but still hold a fear of the possibility that I committed a mortal sin and that I committed sacrilege by receiving Communion. Impure thoughts seem to often spring to my mind, uninvited, and as soon as I realize they are there, I immediately say a few Hail Mary’s and say an Act of Contrition and hope I haven’t committed a mortal sin. I do look and see if certain things are a mortal or venial sin but then different circumstances always make me question myself.
I absolutely hate this fear and constant worry and I want to be done with it. I constantly ask saints to pray for me as well as ask Jesus for help. Sometimes, the thoughts dispel but then, later, they’re always back.
I see a psychologist because of my anxiety which started years ago. However, while she is a Christian, she left the Catholic Church and my fears about mortal sin are responded to with “God loves you and is pleased with you because He created you.”
I honestly don’t know what to do except to ask for prayers and to continue trying to dispel these thoughts and worries.
 
You need to see a Psychologist. These problems can be solved.
 
It sounds like you’re having a problem with scruples. Scrupulosity is best dealt with by getting help from a good confessor. It’s good that you’re seeing a psychologist too since that will also help with your anxiety, but you should also see a priest. You can read this to learn more about it and how to overcome it
 
Don’t forget that being a Catholic is about having a personal relationship with Jesus. It’s about loving Him and letting Him love you. God is not an angry old man in the sky out to get you. Your therapist was correct. You are doing your best to love God…he is not going to smite you if you make a mistake. He loves you and wants you to smile and bask in His love. Talk to your priest and your therapist about your anxiety and possible scrupulousity. Pray to Mama Mary for peace. I will pray for you also. :hugs::hugs:
 
Yes I had this experience (being scrupuluous…not the psychologist thing). Once you see how bad of a sinner you once were (basically recounting my own personal experience) you start to notice everything and all the sins we make and often see things that aren’t sins as sins and overswing too far to the other side. He told me once our eyes are opened we see the poor sinner we really are which can be a good thing in the journey to becoming more holy but you have to be careful, unlike what I did and didn’t seek more counsel (I also wasn’t catechized well). My long time confessor told me this when I first started going to confession after really turning my life over to Christ. It’s not abnormal but please work with your confessor to avoid scrupulosity. It happened to me and it took a long time to get back to “center”. Nip it in the bud now.
 
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Do you wonder 24/7 about if your thoughts were mortal sin or not?
 
I think 24/7 might be a bit extreme but it is quite often during the day.
 
I’m wondering because maybe when you’re not in the situation, eg, when your mind’s on something you like doing, you feel no guilt at all. And that might help you in discerning if it’s fear or conscience bothering you.
 
This sounds like OCD/Scrupulosity. I have it, it is nothing to be ashamed of. First, don’t ask for advice here. Take you questions to a Priest. Find a regular Confessor who will guide you.

Stop acting like you sinned unless you are absolutely sure, without any doubts whatsoever, that you have sinned. If you aren’t sure, if you could not swear under oath with your right hand on three Bibles, then do not pray for forgiveness for a sin that did not happen.

It is okay to say an act of contrition daily as part of your personal prayers, but don’t say it over and over for sins that did not happen.

Let any intrusive thoughts pass. They are unwanted (a sin has to be a deliberate act or omission), and trying to fight them only makes the problem worse. Accept you can not have total control of your thoughts and the more you try to NOT think of something, you are setting yourself up to think of that thing. If I say do not think of a turtle, what will you think of? A turtle. So Just ignore them as best you can. The less you react, the less they will come. You will see. I used to be assaulted by horrible blasphemous thoughts, and they would hit me hard at Church or during prayer. I used to exhaust myself arguing with them. Only when you learn to ignore them like you would a crazy person yelling on a streetcorner, can you take control back. You will find that slowly but surely, they aren’t there all the time.

Most importantly, trust that God knows your heart better than you.
 
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Well, it varies. I can be occupied by something I like doing, such as play practices, baking, reading, watching documentaries and out of the blue, a little thought pops into my mind and the whole worry cycle starts until I can either focus on something else or calm the worry with reason.
 
you are experiencing scrupulosity. I have the same issue, though it’s gotten beter over the years.

find a good priest to talk to.

and be careful on caF, although many posters are great, sometimes you get too many opinions to handle, so just take some comments with a grain of salt
 
this issue with watching movies rated PG/ PG-13 is something i’m trying to do better with, since my spiritual said it matters only why you’re watching it. If it’s to enjoy the plot, no sin. if it’s to enjoy just the language, sex, and violence, then it is a sin. So I’ve started to move my ratings up a notch from “not-rated-PG/13”!
 
Well, it’s not so much that o worry about the rating. I really am not interested in many movies past the PG-13 rating. It’s more that my scruples make me feel as though any joke or something makes it my sin when in fact, I’m not enjoying the bad things in the movie.
 
My opinion is that it is common in the spiritual life to go through a time of increased concern over which acts might be sins, and to worry excessively about sin. I suggest prayer, trust in God, and continuing to learn the moral teachings of the Church. Passing thoughts such as you described are not mortal sins, as they lack full consent.
 
I had a problem with worrying about dying in mortal sin, but it didn’t manifest the same way as you describe. For me, eventually, it went away. Several things helped me. One, a priest finally listened to me. Two, I slowly accumulated a knowledge base of how a typical prudent Catholic would view a hypothetical situation. Like I got role models, I guess. Three, I took a more Thomist view of how God works in predestination, etc.

I am still rather obsessive in general though. It is just the Catholic part that is sorted.
 
Hello.

I wish more of us had a terrible fear of dying in mortal sin. If we did, and we all acted on it to improve our relationship with God and with our brothers and sisters, the world would be profoundly changed.

Anyway, do you have a regular time to pray? Have you shared these thoughts with a good, holy priest or a religious → have you considered looking for a spiritual director?

Also, do you have activities, talents you need to develop? Might be a good idea to lose yourself in these for a few hours each day. Also, do you have a sport you like? Might be a good time to spend some time with that.

Just some random thoughts of mine. God bless you.
 
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