Some of us are just not meant to be happy

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Domiy

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That is my conclusion.

I could probably back up this philosophy with a religious reasoning, but there’s no real need to. I need only to observe my own life. I am not meant to be happy. This doesn’t mean I’m depressed or sad, it just means I’ll never be above the usual level of dragging myself out of bed, and taking the day as it comes to me. I can be in a good mood most days, and be relaxed, but ultimately I’ll never be truly content.

While I believe everyone has a burden to carry, some of us are just stronger than others in their ability to carry it. There is a tiny portion of lucky people who almost do not feel their burden at all, whether it’s because they’re so strong as to carry it so easily, or because the burden itself just doesn’t do anything to them. It never challenges them. They don’t really care about it enough to notice it.

Then there’s the others who God created with a combination of a burden so heavy and the lack of strength to carry it. I guess we all fall somewhere between these two extremes.

Happiness is not a perception or a feeling of learning to be content with things. It’s almost a vocation. A destiny, if you will. Some are meant to be happy, others are not. No different to the way some of us are meant to be women, and some of us men, or the way some men are supposed to be priests, and others husbands. It’s just the cards we were dealt.

Whatever way I find of blocking out my anxieties, challenges, and troubles, they find a way to reintroduce themselves into my perception. When I finally find a way to overcome them, it seems like destiny takes over and ensures I don’t reach the top of the staircase where my goal lies. I’m just not meant to get there.

Instead of asking questions or being angry, I’ve learned to accept this. Make peace with it. This is as close as happiness I’ll ever come. It’s ironic. The closest thing to happiness in my life is being content with the fact that I’ll never be happy. Almost makes me laugh.

Does it make me angry or depressed? No. I can still live life normally, and I will. Who knows, maybe one day I will reach the top of the staircase, but by then it’ll probably be the staircase I no longer want to climb. That’s just the way it works. I cannot possibly acheive what I want. If I want something, I cannot acheive it. If I acheive somehting, I won’t want it.

I guess God is calling me to a life of discipline and spirituality. As I said, I can take comfort in a lot of religious validations to help me accept this. Most of the saints lived a life of extreme discomfort and anxiety. Some were even miserable at times. They never really enjoyed life, just like the Bible warns us against doing too earneslty.

This is the very definition of anxiety in a religious point of view; anxious over the fact that you know something is coming your way to bring you back down, and you want to be ready for it. You’ll check every corner carefully before you turn it. You’ll replay possible scenarios in your mind. It’s not healthy, but it’s all you can do. Ultimately, the effect of being constantly worried about a burden is nothing compared to the fear you have of the burden coming and not being fully prepared or ready to challenge it.

Is there medication which can help this? No. I believe taking medications to calm my anxiety or better my mood, even under the approval of a doctor, is just as much of a cheating way out as chugging on alcohol or abusing other hallucunants/drugs. It’s just blocking the symptons momentarily, and will probably lead to a reliance/addiction. So no, I won’t see a doctor. I’ll simply channel my lack of happiness inside me and find ways to use it to my advantage.

I don’t even expect words of encouragement or support from here, as much as I appreciate that. I simply wanted to share my outlook. Get it off my mind. Maybe possibly connect with someone with similar feelings or philosophies. As I said, I’m not depressed or sad. I’m kind of just…nothing.

Thanks for letting me share. God bless!
 
Hello,
I would just like to say , after reading your beautifully written post ,
Those words you wrote discribed how much of my own life was , but is no more ,
I struggled with a number of things , just as you are now,
That hopeless feeling that nothing ever will change,
having a flat tyre would be the highlife of my month , something actually happened ,
I wish I could help you, because you seem to be where I once was,
Sometimes we just need a hug, some recognition of our effort ,
Your struggle is not in vain, the words you wrote showed real maturity ,
Perhaps you could become a Councellor , because you have a great insight into humanity,
I would love to hear more of your words,
Peace
 
That is my conclusion.

I could probably back up this philosophy with a religious reasoning, but there’s no real need to. I need only to observe my own life. I am not meant to be happy. This doesn’t mean I’m depressed or sad, it just means I’ll never be above the usual level of dragging myself out of bed, and taking the day as it comes to me. I can be in a good mood most days, and be relaxed, but ultimately I’ll never be truly content.

While I believe everyone has a burden to carry, some of us are just stronger than others in their ability to carry it. There is a tiny portion of lucky people who almost do not feel their burden at all, whether it’s because they’re so strong as to carry it so easily, or because the burden itself just doesn’t do anything to them. It never challenges them. They don’t really care about it enough to notice it.

Then there’s the others who God created with a combination of a burden so heavy and the lack of strength to carry it. I guess we all fall somewhere between these two extremes.

Happiness is not a perception or a feeling of learning to be content with things. It’s almost a vocation. A destiny, if you will. Some are meant to be happy, others are not. No different to the way some of us are meant to be women, and some of us men, or the way some men are supposed to be priests, and others husbands. It’s just the cards we were dealt.

Whatever way I find of blocking out my anxieties, challenges, and troubles, they find a way to reintroduce themselves into my perception. When I finally find a way to overcome them, it seems like destiny takes over and ensures I don’t reach the top of the staircase where my goal lies. I’m just not meant to get there.

Instead of asking questions or being angry, I’ve learned to accept this. Make peace with it. This is as close as happiness I’ll ever come. It’s ironic. The closest thing to happiness in my life is being content with the fact that I’ll never be happy. Almost makes me laugh.

Does it make me angry or depressed? No. I can still live life normally, and I will. Who knows, maybe one day I will reach the top of the staircase, but by then it’ll probably be the staircase I no longer want to climb. That’s just the way it works. I cannot possibly acheive what I want. If I want something, I cannot acheive it. If I acheive somehting, I won’t want it.

I guess God is calling me to a life of discipline and spirituality. As I said, I can take comfort in a lot of religious validations to help me accept this. Most of the saints lived a life of extreme discomfort and anxiety. Some were even miserable at times. They never really enjoyed life, just like the Bible warns us against doing too earneslty.

This is the very definition of anxiety in a religious point of view; anxious over the fact that you know something is coming your way to bring you back down, and you want to be ready for it. You’ll check every corner carefully before you turn it. You’ll replay possible scenarios in your mind. It’s not healthy, but it’s all you can do. Ultimately, the effect of being constantly worried about a burden is nothing compared to the fear you have of the burden coming and not being fully prepared or ready to challenge it.

Is there medication which can help this? No. I believe taking medications to calm my anxiety or better my mood, even under the approval of a doctor, is just as much of a cheating way out as chugging on alcohol or abusing other hallucunants/drugs. It’s just blocking the symptons momentarily, and will probably lead to a reliance/addiction. So no, I won’t see a doctor. I’ll simply channel my lack of happiness inside me and find ways to use it to my advantage.

I don’t even expect words of encouragement or support from here, as much as I appreciate that. I simply wanted to share my outlook. Get it off my mind. Maybe possibly connect with someone with similar feelings or philosophies. As I said, I’m not depressed or sad. I’m kind of just…nothing.

Thanks for letting me share. God bless!
We’re not really supposed to give medical advice here. However, I must inform you there is indeed a type of depression that the description of your thoughts and feelings seems to fit. It is called existential depression. IOW, you don’t see a purpose to your life, you feel your life lacks meaning and substance, and therefore nothing appears to excite you. In your case, though, I get the impression this existential depression is masked. (Masked depression is another variety of depression.) That is, you don’t believe or realize you are depressed. In fact, you said so more than once. It just so happens the feeling you have, which you summed up in your last sentence: “I’m kind of just…nothing,” is typical of both existential depression and masked depression.

Therefore, I would advise you to seek counseling: either a psychiatric social worker, a clinical psychologist, a counseling psychologist, a pastoral counselor, a priest, or a psychiatrist. This does not necessarily mean you need medication; but it seems to me you do need a professional mental health practitioner to discuss your feelings and thoughts about your life. While finding support on CAF can also be beneficial, it is no substitute for professional counseling. For your own benefit, I would advise you to look into it.
 
We’re not really supposed to give medical advice here. However, I must inform you there is indeed a type of depression that the description of your thoughts and feelings seems to fit. It is called existential depression. IOW, you don’t see a purpose to your life, you feel your life lacks meaning and substance, and therefore nothing appears to excite you. In your case, though, I get the impression this existential depression is masked. (Masked depression is another variety of depression.) That is, you don’t believe or realize you are depressed. In fact, you said so more than once. It just so happens the feeling you have, which you summed up in your last sentence: “I’m kind of just…nothing,” is typical of both existential depression and masked depression.

Therefore, I would advise you to seek counseling: either a psychiatric social worker, a clinical psychologist, a counseling psychologist, a pastoral counselor, a priest, or a psychiatrist. This does not necessarily mean you need medication; but it seems to me you do need a professional mental health practitioner to discuss your feelings and thoughts about:thumbsup: your life. While finding support on CAF can also be beneficial, it is no substitute for professional counseling. For your own benefit, I would advise you to look into it.
👍
 
As I read your post, I can honestly say, “That’s me.”

I don’t know how old you are, but I’m 54 and so I’d like to share a few things I’ve learned.

You’ve reached a certain point, but there’s more to this journey so expect it, and seek it. You’ve reached acceptance, but there really is “joy” to found in Christ so keep moving forward; keep pondering and remain open. “Joy” and “happiness” are two different things.

For me, all you wrote is a sort of dying to self as we are told to do - it’s painful to surrender the dreams and hopes “I” had (and I’m not much of a dreamer in the first place). But He removed them for a reason, and He has a purpose in it so don’t despair that it’s without purpose.

Something to ponder … we aren’t made to be “happy,” we are made to become holy.

I’d like to recommend a book, if you are interested in reading it. It isn’t Catholic, but it is one of those that’s had a profound impact on me: Authentic Faith: The Power of a Fire-Tested Life by Gary L. Thomas. If you read it and like it, please also read his book, Sacred Pathways: Discover Your Soul’s Path to God.

Good luck to you on your journey with Him. :grouphug:
 
I tend not to think of potential psychological disorder, but something spiritual – Like the Dark Night.

There are fine lines in treating these types of problems, and I would warn against trusting something that may be spiritual in nature to “professionals.”

Contemplative Prayer (especially Centering Prayer) can be used as an efficacious treatment for all sorts of mental troubles, but is entirely overlooked in the professional world.
 
…but ultimately I’ll never be truly content. … I don’t even expect words of encouragement or support from here…
Cognitive psychology recommends not being a “fortune teller”. Therefore it may help you to eliminate that thought. And Our Lord said that you will find rest for your soul in leaning on Him. He said his burden is light.

Matthew 11:25 At that time Jesus answered and said: I confess to thee, O Father, Lord of heaven and earth, because thou hast hid these things from the wise and prudent, and hast revealed them to the little ones. 26 Yea, Father; for so hath it seemed good in thy sight. 27 All things are delivered to me by my Father. And no one knoweth the Son, but the Father: neither doth any one know the Father, but the Son, and he to whom it shall please the Son to reveal him.

28 Come to me, all you that labour, and are burdened, and I will refresh you. 29 Take up my yoke upon you, and learn of me, because I am meek, and humble of heart: and you shall find rest to your souls. 30 For my yoke is sweet and my burden light.
 
I tend not to think of potential psychological disorder, but something spiritual – Like the Dark Night.

There are fine lines in treating these types of problems, and I would warn against trusting something that may be spiritual in nature to “professionals.”

Contemplative Prayer (especially Centering Prayer) can be used as an efficacious treatment for all sorts of mental troubles, but is entirely overlooked in the professional world.
It doesn’t have to be an either-or situation. Why not combine both?
 
This world is a vale of tears.
God made me to know Him, love Him, and serve him in this world … and to be HAPPY with Him in the next.

Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.
Woe to you who laugh now, for you will mourn and weep.

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

In this world you will have trouble, but be of good cheer, for I (Jesus) have overcome the world.

Rejoice … in the LORD always.

Amen.
 
I spent an hour with a man who had been homeless for several years, he told me several times, I am not worried, God loves me.

I spent an hour with another homeless man, he said every night before going to sleep, he finds several things to thank God for.

We helped a homeless lady, she then asked if she could pray for us.

These three homeless people carrying their home in a bag, taught me so much, how can they have no worries, thank God and pray for others, when they have virtually nothing themselves.
 
You’re clearly very smart. If you could imagine a medication that, say, cleared away some anxiety the way a crutch takes pressure off a broken leg, would that be acceptable? What is the alternative to crutches? And is that preferable to walking normally and healthily?

You know a ship can’t be built when the waves are crashing against it, so you build it on dry land… and then it can handle the roughest seas. What if it’s not strong enough? Bring it back into harbor and fix it, then send it back out. This is medication. On the other hand, alcohol and substance abuse is not - it’s like bringing the ship back in and instead of fixing things, you just sit on the docks and get drunk. Addiction is staying in the harbor out of fear. Recognizing that the harbor is just a place to build, fix, and load/unload the ship is nothing like that.

Some medications can change who you are, true. Some doctors and mental health professionals won’t be in alignment with your beliefs and values, also true. But when you find the right combination, you’ll know it and will be glad you could be more yourself rather than be stuck. It’s about flourishing.

A good priest gave me some good advice: God wants you to be free.
 
As I read your post, I can honestly say, “That’s me.”

I don’t know how old you are, but I’m 54 and so I’d like to share a few things I’ve learned.

You’ve reached a certain point, but there’s more to this journey so expect it, and seek it. You’ve reached acceptance, but there really is “joy” to found in Christ so keep moving forward; keep pondering and remain open. “Joy” and “happiness” are two different things.

For me, all you wrote is a sort of dying to self as we are told to do - it’s painful to surrender the dreams and hopes “I” had (and I’m not much of a dreamer in the first place). But He removed them for a reason, and He has a purpose in it so don’t despair that it’s without purpose.

Something to ponder … we aren’t made to be “happy,” we are made to become holy.

I’d like to recommend a book, if you are interested in reading it. It isn’t Catholic, but it is one of those that’s had a profound impact on me: Authentic Faith: The Power of a Fire-Tested Life by Gary L. Thomas. If you read it and like it, please also read his book, Sacred Pathways: Discover Your Soul’s Path to God.

Good luck to you on your journey with Him. :grouphug:
Wonderful words. How could ‘dying to the self’ possibly be a happy experience if one has relied on the self and its direction in the past? It is harder for a rich man to enter the Kingdom of Heaven than for a camel to go through the eye of the needle. Have to get rid of those ‘riches’…
 
It doesn’t have to be an either-or situation. Why not combine both?
I just think that treating the potential spiritual problem would be hindered by trying to digest what is going on from a medical perspective when indeed the problem is spiritual. I personally have a psychiatrist to prescribe needed medicine for depression and anxiety, but the greatest relief is from Contemplative Prayer.
 
That is my conclusion.

I could probably back up this philosophy with a religious reasoning, but there’s no real need to. I need only to observe my own life. I am not meant to be happy. This doesn’t mean I’m depressed or sad, it just means I’ll never be above the usual level of dragging myself out of bed, and taking the day as it comes to me. I can be in a good mood most days, and be relaxed, but ultimately I’ll never be truly content.

While I believe everyone has a burden to carry, some of us are just stronger than others in their ability to carry it. There is a tiny portion of lucky people who almost do not feel their burden at all, whether it’s because they’re so strong as to carry it so easily, or because the burden itself just doesn’t do anything to them. It never challenges them. They don’t really care about it enough to notice it.

Then there’s the others who God created with a combination of a burden so heavy and the lack of strength to carry it. I guess we all fall somewhere between these two extremes.

Happiness is not a perception or a feeling of learning to be content with things. It’s almost a vocation. A destiny, if you will. Some are meant to be happy, others are not. No different to the way some of us are meant to be women, and some of us men, or the way some men are supposed to be priests, and others husbands. It’s just the cards we were dealt.

Whatever way I find of blocking out my anxieties, challenges, and troubles, they find a way to reintroduce themselves into my perception. When I finally find a way to overcome them, it seems like destiny takes over and ensures I don’t reach the top of the staircase where my goal lies. I’m just not meant to get there.

Instead of asking questions or being angry, I’ve learned to accept this. Make peace with it. This is as close as happiness I’ll ever come. It’s ironic. The closest thing to happiness in my life is being content with the fact that I’ll never be happy. Almost makes me laugh.

Does it make me angry or depressed? No. I can still live life normally, and I will. Who knows, maybe one day I will reach the top of the staircase, but by then it’ll probably be the staircase I no longer want to climb. That’s just the way it works. I cannot possibly acheive what I want. If I want something, I cannot acheive it. If I acheive somehting, I won’t want it.

I guess God is calling me to a life of discipline and spirituality. As I said, I can take comfort in a lot of religious validations to help me accept this. Most of the saints lived a life of extreme discomfort and anxiety. Some were even miserable at times. They never really enjoyed life, just like the Bible warns us against doing too earneslty.

This is the very definition of anxiety in a religious point of view; anxious over the fact that you know something is coming your way to bring you back down, and you want to be ready for it. You’ll check every corner carefully before you turn it. You’ll replay possible scenarios in your mind. It’s not healthy, but it’s all you can do. Ultimately, the effect of being constantly worried about a burden is nothing compared to the fear you have of the burden coming and not being fully prepared or ready to challenge it.

Is there medication which can help this? No. I believe taking medications to calm my anxiety or better my mood, even under the approval of a doctor, is just as much of a cheating way out as chugging on alcohol or abusing other hallucunants/drugs. It’s just blocking the symptons momentarily, and will probably lead to a reliance/addiction. So no, I won’t see a doctor. I’ll simply channel my lack of happiness inside me and find ways to use it to my advantage.

I don’t even expect words of encouragement or support from here, as much as I appreciate that. I simply wanted to share my outlook. Get it off my mind. Maybe possibly connect with someone with similar feelings or philosophies. As I said, I’m not depressed or sad. I’m kind of just…nothing.

Thanks for letting me share. God bless!
Thank you for sharing your feelings. It must have been difficult. Your life seems to be like what I would call the first nine Innings of my life. I am now in the eleventh Inning of my life (more on that later)
Of course, I am much older than you are. (73) so I have had a lot longer dealing with those feelings You have been far more successful than I.
I was born an ugly child and my mother was unable to love me. There was nothing I could do to please my mother. I was always reminded of my inadequacies. “God will punish you” or when something bad would happen to me “See God punished you” I grew up believing that I did not deserve happiness. I entered into a abusive marriage that needed to be terminated because it was life threatening. After that I began to have moments when I experienced success in my career. My two children also gave me moments of “happiness” Worst of all I began to experience moments of great “peace” while praying or during Mass. I say moments because these “moments” were always followed by long periods of great guilt and depression. That guilt and despair drove me to the brink of self destruction. Then I became terribly ill with what I believed might be a really bad flu that had been going around. And I wanted to protect my elderly mother from it. It turned out that it was not the flu but stage IV of a very deadly cancer. Prognosis was 9 months to a year with treatment. However my brother was present at the appointment and asked that my nephew give a second opinion, That night my nephew called back saying one of his patients was A surgeon doing new surgery on this particular cancer and would love to take my case. The surgery was successful and I was cancer free for two and a half years. Then I got a different cancer same prognosis. That was two years ago. I am miraculously cancer free but more than that I am despair free,
 
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