Somebody toss me a lifeline

[rayne89]

Constantine312:

This may sound harsh but you have an obligation to God. The Church is the way to God. Therefore your loyalty is to the Church above all. If your own children become insolent to that fact you can’t back down. Your daughter has known all her life who and what you are. Now she has disrespected you. You owe her nothing. She’s an adult and has made an adult decision. I would suggest keeping ties at a mandatory parent/child level, that is, that you should occasionally keep in touch, but your loyalty to her has been compromised by her own actions.

Again, sorry so harsh, but that’s my opinion.

I recognize this mindset very well.My father-in-law has this same type of reasoning. *“Now she has disrespected you. You owe her nothing.”*You base your loyality to your adult children on whether or not they do what you say?

I don’t agree with this young woman’s choice but it was hardly done to spite her mother. She is just starting out in life and will have to find her way. Yes her daughter is an adult now, so I suppose technically she doesn’t “owe” her anything anymore. But I didn’t think parent child relationships were based on that.

I rebelled against parents, married at 18 outside the church and although they were angry especially my dad, they came around. My dad gave me away at my wedding and our relationship never changed. Last summer my husband and I had our marriage convalidated (14 years later) and my parents were there for that too. I know that no matter what I do when I need them my parents will be there. And that is that is a wonderful feeling.

Unfortunately my husband can not say that about his dad, and it hurts him a lot.

 

[mariainman]

rayne89:

I rebelled against parents, married at 18 outside the church and although they were angry especially my dad, they came around. My dad gave me away at my wedding and our relationship never changed. Last summer my husband and I had our marriage convalidated (14 years later) and my parents were there for that too. I know that no matter what I do when I need them my parents will be there. And that is that is a wonderful feeling.

I too got married at 22 outside the Church. My husband was married before. My parents first disowned me mostly because I ran away with this guy. But I kept in contact mostly through letters and in a short time they came around and then went to our wedding. 17 years later we were married in the Church. My husband became a Catholic mostly because of my mom’s influence.
Now history repeats itself. My daughter does not feel she can marry in the Church. Even though I don’t understand it I accept it. And just as God worked it out in my marriage I have confidence that He will work in hers as long as I get out of his way and leave the door open to her.

 

[wcknight]

Sometimes, I wish we as parents could pick and choose who our kids could marry as my grandparents and great grand parents did.

Well, at least I made the right choice for myself… at least I think and hope I did…

I pray my kids will be judicous in picking their spouse, but as it appears for now, the older two may NOT be picking a Catholic.

We try to bring them up strong in the faith, but at some point they start to make decisions and opinions for themselves. I envy the folks whose kids stay true to the faith thoughout, how is it that this came about ???

My kids went to Catholic schools, grade school and high school, and we went to Church every Sunday. But off in college, and maybe even a bit before that, they stopped believing. What is it that makes one kid continue with their faith while another just about totally rebells ?