A
abominableangel
Guest
Hello all
I’m feeling really rather upset, angry and confused right now.
I learned on the 27th of July that an acquaintance of mine, a very talented musician and all round bubbly guy, committed suicide.
I don’t know the method used, all I know is that he made a sort of peaceful greeting on a video , posted it then committed the act… when i viewed the video, it was obvious that he wasnt his normal self and that the smile and words were forced … the only thing that was sincere about the whole video was when he said " i hope you’re all centered in your heart"
I’m listening to his music right now, and its surreal to say the least… I will never hear another tune made by him, never hear another joke or see him act silly…
I just don’t know why hes done this … I’m so angry about the whole thing… angry that we didnt see it, angry that hes gone and done this, angry that people are saying he wasnt depressed he chose to end his life because he didnt want to grow old … I mean I ask you … where in the world did that rubbish come from!! … happy people don’t commit suicide, death is the furthest thing from their minds!! … apparently he didnt want to grow old and that his life was his to take… his to take!! it was never his to take even if he didnt believe in God … what about all those who loved him!! …I couldn’t believe his best friend could say it… maybe its a coping thing for him but when I heard it I just wanted to plant my hand straight across his face with a loud crack… and scream are you tapped in the head!
the weird thing is, I barely knew the man if anything I knew of him… so why has this upset me so much I just don’t get it?!?
then to see his best friend and best friends girlfriend seemly act perfectly normal as if it was yesterdays news… it would have been his birthday tomorrow a date he shares with his best friend … and they’re acting as if it never happened … hes gone… he might get a fleeting mention tomorrow by them… I know I know I’m being sarcastic now … but come on!! your best friend not only died… he killed himself … killed himself! oh for the love of God I can’t stand that hes done that I just can’t…
I keep hoping beyond hope that he knows people are thinking of him, that I a person he probably doesnt remember is thinking of him and is desperately sad at this situation, grieving his loss … but I tell you this if he would as if by magic appear in front of me right now … I’d give him the verbal kicking of a life time, I’d shake him saying what the heck were you playing at you complete fool!!! how could you be so unbelievably dense, dont you have any idea what you’ve done.
it appears the last two weeks of his life he was talking mostly of his heart instead of thinking, his video message was that of new age mumbo jumbo " hope you’re centered in your heart" and whilst others I know would like to think hes on cloud 9 right now livin’ it up with the angels … I fear hes no where near… maybe hes in purgatory … but then maybe hes not … I fear where he could be, I think of him, i’ve prayed for him hoping he can hear me … he wasnt a believer as far as I can tell, especially with all that new age rubbish he spouted … I just wish I knew where he is … and if there is anything I can do for his soul … I hate the thought that there is nothing I can do for him… its just him and almighty God now … I’m just so very sad about this… .in fact the word sad doesnt seem to have the right strength to it



I’m feeling really rather upset, angry and confused right now.
I learned on the 27th of July that an acquaintance of mine, a very talented musician and all round bubbly guy, committed suicide.
I don’t know the method used, all I know is that he made a sort of peaceful greeting on a video , posted it then committed the act… when i viewed the video, it was obvious that he wasnt his normal self and that the smile and words were forced … the only thing that was sincere about the whole video was when he said " i hope you’re all centered in your heart"
I’m listening to his music right now, and its surreal to say the least… I will never hear another tune made by him, never hear another joke or see him act silly…
I just don’t know why hes done this … I’m so angry about the whole thing… angry that we didnt see it, angry that hes gone and done this, angry that people are saying he wasnt depressed he chose to end his life because he didnt want to grow old … I mean I ask you … where in the world did that rubbish come from!! … happy people don’t commit suicide, death is the furthest thing from their minds!! … apparently he didnt want to grow old and that his life was his to take… his to take!! it was never his to take even if he didnt believe in God … what about all those who loved him!! …I couldn’t believe his best friend could say it… maybe its a coping thing for him but when I heard it I just wanted to plant my hand straight across his face with a loud crack… and scream are you tapped in the head!
the weird thing is, I barely knew the man if anything I knew of him… so why has this upset me so much I just don’t get it?!?
then to see his best friend and best friends girlfriend seemly act perfectly normal as if it was yesterdays news… it would have been his birthday tomorrow a date he shares with his best friend … and they’re acting as if it never happened … hes gone… he might get a fleeting mention tomorrow by them… I know I know I’m being sarcastic now … but come on!! your best friend not only died… he killed himself … killed himself! oh for the love of God I can’t stand that hes done that I just can’t…
I keep hoping beyond hope that he knows people are thinking of him, that I a person he probably doesnt remember is thinking of him and is desperately sad at this situation, grieving his loss … but I tell you this if he would as if by magic appear in front of me right now … I’d give him the verbal kicking of a life time, I’d shake him saying what the heck were you playing at you complete fool!!! how could you be so unbelievably dense, dont you have any idea what you’ve done.
it appears the last two weeks of his life he was talking mostly of his heart instead of thinking, his video message was that of new age mumbo jumbo " hope you’re centered in your heart" and whilst others I know would like to think hes on cloud 9 right now livin’ it up with the angels … I fear hes no where near… maybe hes in purgatory … but then maybe hes not … I fear where he could be, I think of him, i’ve prayed for him hoping he can hear me … he wasnt a believer as far as I can tell, especially with all that new age rubbish he spouted … I just wish I knew where he is … and if there is anything I can do for his soul … I hate the thought that there is nothing I can do for him… its just him and almighty God now … I’m just so very sad about this… .in fact the word sad doesnt seem to have the right strength to it