Something else to sing to besides Unity Candle

[Schl7371]

I am Catholic and my future wife is Presbyterian and we are getting married in her church that she has been a member of all her life. I do NOT want a unity candle or any variation (such as pouring sand, braid, etc). However, what opportunities do we have for our singer? We don’t want to just stare at each other and have everybody just listen. Shouldn’t something be going on? Since its not a Mass, its more difficult. I dont want a Unity candle just for something to do. It doesn’t make a difference to her at all.

 

[agapewolf]

I’m assuming you are getting the proper and necessary dispensations to marry in a non-Catholic church.

You are asking the wrong people since you are not marrying in a Catholic liturgy, this question is for whoever the pastor is of that church.

If you have to “look for” opportunities for a singer, than you may consider you are approaching it the wrong way. Music ministers are “at the service” for the church service or mass, not the other way around.

 

[benedictgal]

I am Catholic and my future wife is Presbyterian and we are getting married in her church that she has been a member of all her life. I do NOT want a unity candle or any variation (such as pouring sand, braid, etc). However, what opportunities do we have for our singer? We don’t want to just stare at each other and have everybody just listen. Shouldn’t something be going on? Since its not a Mass, its more difficult. I dont want a Unity candle just for something to do. It doesn’t make a difference to her at all.

If the Unity Candle must have a part in all of this, you could very well have it lit at the reception.

 

[puzzleannie]

I am Catholic and my future wife is Presbyterian and we are getting married in her church that she has been a member of all her life. I do NOT want a unity candle or any variation (such as pouring sand, braid, etc). .

good because it has no place in the Catholic rite for marriage.
if you are not doing anything at that time, there is no need for bridge music to cover the moment.
one expression of popular piety that many priests permit after the marriage rite, and after communion if it takes place during Mass, is for the bride to present her bouquet before the statue of the Blessed Virgin Mary. That presents a great opportunity for a soloist, obviously, but is not necessary, but something your fiancee could consider if it expresses her particular wishes. However if your family and friends, or other guests, might very well be puzzled or even scandalized by this little ceremony it would be best to omit it.

When you sit down with the priest or sponsor couple to plan the actual liturgy you can deal with the logistics of this and other questions.

if you are so fortunate as to have good musicians and vocalists, music during the time the congregation are being seated is often listened to and appreciated even more

 

[paperwight66]

I understood that the marriage is taking place in a Presbyterian church. So no Mass, and no statue as part of the church layout, surely? Unless you were meaning that a statue be set up in the church for that purpose?

 

[puzzleannie]

I understood that the marriage is taking place in a Presbyterian church. So no Mass, and no statue as part of the church layout, surely? Unless you were meaning that a statue be set up in the church for that purpose?

sorry I read it wrong and got the religions confused
I don’t know that the unity candle is part of their marriage rite either so if there is nothing happening after the exchange of vows, there is no need for music at that time

I am assuming that the Catholic party is getting all the necessary permissions, because that was not OP’s question.

 

[Schl7371]

yes, There will be a proper dispensation, but I did not post that information since it wasn’t relevant to the question, nor why we are getting married in the brides church. I know Unity Candles can used in catholic and non-Catholic weddings and there is no requirement or conflict for us to have one. I know where music is used in a Catholic mass wedding…but perhaps someone had experience in a non-Mass wedding. I’m not arguing about the merits of having or not having a Unity Candle. Thank you for your posts.

 

[Sarabande]

I’ve been a soloist for many Protestant wedding ceremonies (mostly Presbyterian, Baptist, Methodist, Lutheran, Episcopal, Non-Denominational, Unitarian). The best course of action for you and your fiance is to speak with the music director at the church as to what the norms are for the typical wedding ceremony there.

With the Protestant weddings I’ve done, I’ve found most of the time, the couple will incorporate the soloist for during prelude music and then one solo for any of the “extra” ceremonies you have mentioned in your OP - unity candle, sand ceremony, etc. So, I often will sing between 4 to 6 solos interspersed with the organ or other instrument(s) during the prelude, then usually one solo during the actual ceremony. If the couple really like the voice as an instrument, they will also use the soloist for one or all of the processionals - mothers, bridal party, bride. Sometimes, I have also sung a solo within the ceremony with nothing “going on”. Sometimes, the minister or the music director will recommend a meditational vocal piece after the vows are said and that’s why the extra solo is sometimes used. So everyone will bow their heads in prayer as the music is happening. Other times it is the couple who requests the extra solo as a meditation or something similar.

I don’t know if it would be important to you to have an “Ave Maria” sung during the ceremony, but I’ve done them often at protestant weddings as well. So, it might be permitted by the pastor if you ask. It was a little surprising when I first started singing for non-Catholic ceremonies, especially for the Baptist, Methodist, Presbyterian and non-denominational weddings, how many will request an “Ave Maria” (usually the Schubert or the Bach-Gounod) for their meditation or as their processional… with the “ok” from the ministers. Sometimes, the ministers will suggest it.

Also, as mentioned previously, if you haven’t done so already, make sure you have already received a dispensation to marry outside of the Church.

 

[agapewolf]

yes, There will be a proper dispensation, but I did not post that information since it wasn’t relevant to the question. I know Unity Candles can used in catholic and non-Catholic weddings and there is no requirement for us to have one. I know where music is used in a Catholic mass wedding…but perhaps someone had experience in a non-Mass wedding. Thank you for your posts.

The Catholic church offers weddings in both a mass and just a liturgy of the word.

A lutheran wedding will not necessarily be like a Catholic liturgy of the word at all, which is why you need to speak to that pastor.

A Catholic liturgy of the word wedding has a psalm and gospel acclamation sung. These are specific to the Catholic liturgy though.

Non-Catholic weddings vary in infinite amounts in every way.

 

[Sarabande]

yes, There will be a proper dispensation, but I did not post that information since it wasn’t relevant to the question, nor why we are getting married in the brides church. I know Unity Candles can used in catholic and non-Catholic weddings and there is no requirement or conflict for us to have one. I know where music is used in a Catholic mass wedding…but perhaps someone had experience in a non-Mass wedding. I’m not arguing about the merits of having or not having a Unity Candle. Thank you for your posts.

ooops! I must have posted right when you posted this.

Anyway, hope what I previously posted helps a bit.

 

[Schl7371]

for the 50th time. YES ! there is a proper dispensation! thanks for caring about our well being! its all good! I would point out that our mixed christian denomination is NOT the issue in the forum post. I can tell which comments are constructive! i’m well versed in the catholic faith and am very appreiciative to those that are reaching out to us! I do not want to turn this into a newspaper comment section where the posts stray away from the topic n hand! God Bless!

 

[1ke]

yes, There will be a proper dispensation, but I did not post that information since it wasn’t relevant to the question, nor why we are getting married in the brides church. I know Unity Candles can used in catholic and non-Catholic weddings and there is no requirement or conflict for us to have one. I know where music is used in a Catholic mass wedding…but perhaps someone had experience in a non-Mass wedding. I’m not arguing about the merits of having or not having a Unity Candle. Thank you for your posts.

If you want a soloist, have them sing during the prelude and postlude. Otherwise, I don’t see any reason to have a soloist during the ceremony at all. Reevaluate why you think you need a singer at all. What is the singer singing in the current order of the service?

 

[Catholic90]

People just do not read.

To the OP, talk to the minister marrying you for good suggestions.

Congratulations, and good luck!

 

[Sarabande]

for the 50th time. YES ! there is a proper dispensation! thanks for caring about our well being! its all good! I would point out that our mixed christian denomination is NOT the issue in the forum post. I can tell which comments are constructive! i’m well versed in the catholic faith and am very appreiciative to those that are reaching out to us! I do not want to turn this into a newspaper comment section where the posts stray away from the topic n hand! God Bless!

Again, I apologize. While you were posting your first response regarding the above, I was typing and posting mine, thus the second post:

ooops! I must have posted right when you posted this.

Anyway, hope what I previously posted helps a bit.

But I just realized you might have posted that response right when I was posting my above response. haha! (nevermind, it was posted hours later)

If you haven’t had a chance, please read my first post to you. I’ve sung for plenty of Protestant weddings over the years and the pattern of when the soloist sings in the ceremony is fairly common throughout many of the denominations. But again, best to consult the music director or the pastor there.