Something that happened after Mass

[Trishie]

It’s going to be alright Monica.

Yes the DRE was messed up, but to be honest it seems to me that she realized what she had done and was trying to make it up to you. She obviously didn’t realize how distressed you were about it all.

If you call her, I think you may make a very valuable friend who can help you get into RCIA and get some other helps along the way.

I get distracted by stuff like that too sometimes and especially so since I pray most of my Rosary in Latin. (just because…) I just offer it up as suffering and keep going and I’m like you, I’ll pull out my “cheat sheet” in a heartbeat.

Hang in there my friend!
The peace of the Lord be always with you.

Someone else with a good heart that sees around corners to the good and the probable good in people!

Don’t you love the following text!

“Question your friend, he may have done nothing at all, and if he has done something he will not do it again. Question your neighbour, he may have said nothing at all, and if he has, he will not say it again. Question your friend, for slander is very common, do not believe all you hear. A man sometimes makes a slip, without meaning what he says; and which of us has never sinned by speech?” [Ecclesiasticus 1913-17] Or by action!

 

[notsmart]

Excellent scripture Trishie!

And, I agree with the rest of your post also. About good hearts.

I pulled out my bible and opened it to Ephesians, and the first spot I started to read was 4:32

I shouldn’t have been so disturbed. I should have engaged her in conversation, and maybe I would have focused more on her willingness to help me than the other thing.

And, it really did not hurt me to go to another Mass today either.
She really ended up being helpful, no matter how it came about.

I better get some sleep- I am going to have to meet the priest after 8:45 mass if I can make it!

 

[GemmaRose]

I’m not sticking up for the DRE because she was wrong, however, from personal experience, let me just say that sometimes when people are very active in church in different ministries, such as the Altar Guild which would be a ministry where people help out, after Mass, to keep the church tidy, water flowers, etc., they scurry back and forth so many times that sometimes they get sloppy in their reverence. I know because I’ve done it myself.

As to the phone call, well, she should have either turned the phone off or answered it and quickly run into the sacristy to finish her conversation.

Speaking of the sacristy, let me give you a few new words:

I am trying to find a book or something that shows a layout of the Catholic Church and all the proper names for the places in it.
After the Mass today, I went up to the front of the church where there appears to be what’s called a Communion Rail, except at this church they dont use it for communion. Behind that area is of course the altar, and facing it to your left is the choir area. To the right is Mary and to the right of her, off to the side is the tabernacle with the red candle where the people go to get the Eucharist out of it, to give to the people. The names for these people, I don’t know so I’ll just call them assistants for now.
These “assistants” are called "Extraordinary Ministers of Holy Communion." The word “Extraordinary” is used because the Ordinary Minister is the Priest. Extraordinary Ministers are used when there are not enough priests to distribute Holy Communion.

There is a room behind this tabernacle area that they keep the door open to, where the priest comes out at the beggining of the Mass, with the altar boys and girls, and some other people (I dont know what they would be called either)
The room is called the Sacristy. There are usually closets which hold the priestly vestments, and cabinets which hold different chalices, patens (the plates that hold the consecrated bread - Holy Communion), and other things needed for Mass.

This is where the priests puts on his vestments, the altar servants put on their white albs, and everybody who is ministering at the Mass gets ready.

The people who would process out with the priest would be the Altar Servers, the Extraordinary Ministers of Holy Communion, and the Lector (the man or woman who reads the first two readings and sometimes the psalm in between the first two readings - sometimes the choir sings the psalm instead).

and then they go around the back, and then up the center aisle to the front area I described.

. . .

She told me she would be happy to help me out if I needed it, and told me to call her anytime.
**And I think you should call her. Make an appointment to sit down and have a chat with her. (She probably has an office in one of the parish buildings.) Tell her what you’ve told us, that you’re not Catholic, but are interested. You can join the RCIA (Rite of Christian Initiation for Adults) which is how people learn to become Catholic. Of course, if after going through RCIA you change your mind, or need more time, don’t feel pressured. (But the Catholic Church is great and I think you’ll really love it and come to see that it truly holds the fullness of faith. )

While you are talking with her, you can bring up the subject of what went on after Mass. One charitable way of doing it may be to say something like, “I had thought that it was disrespectful to answer the phone, chitchat, or to walk back in forth in front of the Tabernacle. I know I don’t know much of anything about being Catholic, was I wrong?” This will take the emphasis off of her so she won’t get all defensive, because you are presenting yourself as one trying to learn. It will also cause her to think twice the next time she’s in the presence of the Blessed Sacrament. **

God bless you in your journey of faith.

 

[Matariel]

I am not a new Catholic.

I am a unbaptised person who desires to be catholic, married to an atheist. Its not like I can even volunteer for anything now. I am even unsure about when I can start RCIA. :crying:

Thats why I went to Mass yesterday and today. I went to Mass today twice! I was so upset by that lady I went to the other church where there is a huge Mary, and everyone is quiet there. And there were other ladies praying the rosary after mass too. One even smiled at my daughter and GAVE her a rosary!

Aw… :grouphug:

We all need to support Notsmart and help her.

I definately think you should go to the second church, it sounds like the people there are good, respectful Catholics that will help you out however you need it! I mean, a lady even gave a rosary to your daughter, that’s so nice.

I’d sign up for RCIA at this parish if I were you.

BTW, I’m going to call you Smart from now on, since I don’t think you’re “not smart”.

 

[muffinmojo]

Hey, I did RCIA last year and I just wanted to say, notsmart, you sound like a great person, you have a wisdom and reverence that exceeds most of us who know what everything is called and all the etiquette. I hope things work out for you with RCIA and your husband, and welcome home!

 

[Newbie2]

If this woman is in charge of religious ed for the parish, she should know better. If this were an emergency, I can understand–things will happen and can be urgent. However, if this is some sort of chit-chat then she needs to take it to the outside.

Unfortunately, this is also what happens when people are no longer taught respect and silence before Our Lord.

Yeah, even so with an emergency, what ever happened to using voice mail or “I’ll call your right back”. I can think on no emergency that cannot wait the two minutes that it takes to end the call, (or not answer it in the first place) walk out of church, and call back outside.

I am not a member there, and I am not a christian, but my daughter is going to school there. I just don’t feel I have the right to say anything, and it may mess up my child’s education if I do.

Beg to differ. Maybe not a bona-fide “official” one yet, but you’re a Christian.

 

[Br.Rich_SFO]

I am trying to find a book or something that shows a layout of the Catholic Church and all the proper names for the places in it.
After the Mass today, I went up to the front of the church where there appears to be what’s called a Communion Rail, except at this church they dont use it for communion. Behind that area is of course the altar, and facing it to your left is the choir area. To the right is Mary and to the right of her, off to the side is the tabernacle with the red candle where the people go to get the Eucharist out of it, to give to the people. The names for these people, I don’t know so I’ll just call them assistants for now.
There is a room behind this tabernacle area that they keep the door open to, where the priest comes out at the beggining of the Mass, with the altar boys and girls, and some other people (I dont know what they would be called either) and then they go around the back, and then up the center aisle to the front area I described.

Here is what happened today. I was up as far as I could be, (the communion rail) and kneeled down as close as I could to Mary. Who is sorta off on the wall not out visibly in front. So, she seemed a bit farther away then in the other church I go to, where she is on the left side, and she is a massive marble statue there. No choir there, they are upstairs. And, there is a Joseph on the right…

Anyway, so after Mass, I was trying to say the Rosary by Mary and about 5 min into it, a lady appears from the way back of the area behind the altar, and is just walking around, moving a chair, then replaces the flowers at Mary’s table under her (she is not a statue here, but a wall hanging in what looks like brass) and then the choir director walks up to her (2 feet away from the altar) and they start chatting. Then she gets a cell phone call. She procedes to take it, and has a good and loud chat on the phone, for what seemed like an eternity. I could not pray the rosary with her doing all that. So, I fumbled for my little cheat sheet to try to focus again, and she sees me looking at my paper and tells her friend she has to “get off the phone now because someone is here”
I felt like I was intruding, and getting her angry I was there, so I grabbed my child’s hand and tried to bolt. She walks closer to us and asks if I need any help. I just stared at her. She smiled, then walked away, walked right past the tabernacle without kneeling (I see everyone do this there, so I am wondering why she did not?)
And then she follows me as I try to escape. I turned around, and said, oh I am sorry my name is Monica and I was just trying to pray the rosary and I am not good at it yet. She tells me her name, and that she is the DRE of the parish. (I found out, by looking at the bulletin, she must be the Director of Religious Education, if I am correct on the abbreviation. She told me she would be happy to help me out if I needed it, and told me to call her anytime.

Well, later in the day I just had really bad thoughts about everything that happened. I can’t put my finger on it, but it just seemed wrong that she was walking around up there, That she and the choir director were having a chat in front of the altar like that, and all the rest. Am I being too sensitive to all this?
I want to ask the priest about it, but how?

IF it was me I might have said : “If your the DRE you surely don’t teach very well by your example!”

 

[Lux_et_Tenebrae]

Hi,

I would try not to be too upset, and take a deep breath.

Unfortunately many of those who help out in church spend much time there, and become a little too relaxed. If someone spends many hours in church, doing more secular chores, they may need to take a call from home.

I would definitely not say anything to the Pastor, unless I had first said something to the person, and saw it was a regular thing. You could just smile & say, “Please—I’m trying to pray” (If you remember to smile, people usually don’t get upset)

Anytime you feel someone has disturbed your peace in any way, it is best to try to say something in a nice way, rather then let it fester and when you finally say something, it comes out in a very angry manner. This is a good habit for any time, not only Church.

God bless you in your journey.

Lux