Sometimes Heck is other Catholics

[Absolvo]

Went to afternoon mass today at one of the larger Churches in my area. Got there early and went to the men’s room; while there, a young guy comes out of one of the stalls and heads right past the sink to the exit door. I couldn’t help but yell at him “wash your hands!”

He explained that there was hand sanitizer outside the bathroom which was better than soap. I felt it best not to argue with such invincible ignorance.

About half way through mass a guy comes in and sits in the pew in front of me. He apparently knew the lady sitting next to him, because at one point he put his hand on her high upper thigh. What the heck?

Finally, mass is ended, go in peace. I start down the exit road in my car and notice there are two very large buses for a wedding party that are blocking the road. OK. I leave my car to walk up to the bus driver and explain that mass has just ended and the road needs to be cleared. Whilst I’m doing this, brethren in a desperate hurry to get home, chagrined at having to wait a minute for the buses to move, are behind me are leaning on their car horns.

Yes, I’m venting. Maybe I shouldn’t, but on the other hand, maybe others feel as I do that sometimes the toughest part of going to mass is the behavior of other Catholics.

 

[bardegaulois]

Do I need to state the three-word creed here, Absolvo? I think you know it already…

 

[Faxero]

Do I need to state the three-word creed here, Absolvo? I think you know it already…

Love Thy Neighbor.

Forgive their sins, for they know not what they do.

Absolvo, May your angel prevent you from being so stressed as to resort to verbal and physical violence in order to make others aware of the fruits of their deeds.

 

[St_Francis]

Offer it up!

 

[glendab]

Hello Absolvo.

Went to afternoon mass today at one of the larger Churches in my area. Got there early and went to the men’s room; while there, a young guy comes out of one of the stalls and heads right past the sink to the exit door. I couldn’t help but yell at him “wash your hands!”

He explained that there was hand sanitizer outside the bathroom which was better than soap. I felt it best not to argue with such invincible ignorance.

About half way through mass a guy comes in and sits in the pew in front of me. He apparently knew the lady sitting next to him, because at one point he put his hand on her high upper thigh. What the heck?

Finally, mass is ended, go in peace. I start down the exit road in my car and notice there are two very large buses for a wedding party that are blocking the road. OK. I leave my car to walk up to the bus driver and explain that mass has just ended and the road needs to be cleared. Whilst I’m doing this, brethren in a desperate hurry to get home, chagrined at having to wait a minute for the buses to move, are behind me are leaning on their car horns.

Yes, I’m venting. Maybe I shouldn’t, but on the other hand, maybe others feel as I do that sometimes the toughest part of going to mass is the behavior of other Catholics.

I’m wondering, have you recently prayed for patience? It seems every time I ask God to make me more patient with myself and others, I find challenges to my lack of patience stacked up like bricks in a wall! No kidding! Then my prayer changes to “God grant me the virtue of patience, and hurry up!”

Glenda

 

[Sarcelle]

Offer it up!

Agree.

When confronted by times like these, the best response is to offer it up.

 

[DeniseNY]

Went to afternoon mass today at one of the larger Churches in my area. Got there early and went to the men’s room; while there, a young guy comes out of one of the stalls and heads right past the sink to the exit door. I couldn’t help but yell at him “wash your hands!”

He explained that there was hand sanitizer outside the bathroom which was better than soap. I felt it best not to argue with such invincible ignorance.

About half way through mass a guy comes in and sits in the pew in front of me. He apparently knew the lady sitting next to him, because at one point he put his hand on her high upper thigh. What the heck?

Finally, mass is ended, go in peace. I start down the exit road in my car and notice there are two very large buses for a wedding party that are blocking the road. OK. I leave my car to walk up to the bus driver and explain that mass has just ended and the road needs to be cleared. Whilst I’m doing this, brethren in a desperate hurry to get home, chagrined at having to wait a minute for the buses to move, are behind me are leaning on their car horns.

Yes, I’m venting. Maybe I shouldn’t, but on the other hand, maybe others feel as I do that sometimes the toughest part of going to mass is the behavior of other Catholics.

Absolvo, having patience with others is one of my biggest struggles. Sometimes I get so frustrated when people don’t do things that (to me) are the right things to do or are just plain old common sense and courteous. I really have to pray for God to help me let these things go.

 

[Contra_Mundum_1]

Went to afternoon mass today at one of the larger Churches in my area. Got there early and went to the men’s room; while there, a young guy comes out of one of the stalls and heads right past the sink to the exit door. I couldn’t help but yell at him “wash your hands!”

… maybe others feel as I do that sometimes the toughest part of going to mass is the behavior of other Catholics.

Wait a sec. You shout after the guy to wash his hands, and you think that other people are rude and you need to vent? Seriously? How about you mind your own business next time you go to the toilet.

 

[Weejee]

Ewww, gross!
I can’t blame you for losing it with that scuzz-bucket in the bathroom. You are forced to shake hands with people during mass, and eww…just the thought of it.

People can be a royal pain. Loving your neighbor and praying for your enemies is the worst part of Christianity or so I feel. It is the hardest, it is the worst, and I pray hard everyday. Right now I’m in the middle of really resenting a big group of mean people I live with who act like they are in junior high. In my home state, there are ways to handle such behavoir and they practice it in good ole NY. But in New Mexico, they just let people have a free for all. The cafeteria is like musical chairs, and if you don’t shove people aside to get your table, you are lost. And I feel really lost.

You have a right to vent here. It’s easier said than done, practising patience. I have been praying hard and still can’t handle it. Today, this morning, I finally felt a crack in my wall, just a crack mind you, not a free flowing Niagara Falls of forgiveness, (see, I’m from New York!) but something me and the Lord can work with.

Here’s a hymn: I need Thee Every Hour. hymnal.net/en/hymn/h/371

Just lean on the Lord as hard as you can. Remember he loves you, and He won’t send you to hell because you lost your temper in the men’s room. Gosh!, what a stomach-turner that one was!

 

[JimR-OCDS]

Offer it up.

We often are not aware at how much others have to put up with our faults.

So, take what others do as just part of being imperfect humans, as we are.

Jim

 

[Absolvo]

Thank you for your replies. I see that “offer it up” is the advice from just about everyone. It’s also biblically sound advice as it surely reflects much of what Jesus and Paul aid about dealing with difficult people. I can also see that it’s right and just to err on the side of forbearance when confronted with apparent wrongs of others. It feels good to forbear and restrain one’s tongue. And to act is anger in always wrong and only proliferates more anger. But forgive me, if some here are suggesting that “offer it up” means bear all and stay silent to all, that’s a policy of passivity that I can’t accept.

For one thing, as noble as the Sermon on the Mount is, they seem hard sayings that few if any can live up to. For another, Christianity teaches that all should have a voice in standing up for what’s right. Jesus said “if your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault” MT 18:15. Ergo, my brother, if you have fecal matter on your hands, I will tell ye to go ye and wash thy hands before leaving the men’s room and touching anything or anyone during mass.

In a Christian life, docility, forgiveness, and love should certainly be paramount over fault finding. Yet, faults do occur, and if they come to my notice I’m obliged to sift where and if true fault has occurred and, if appropriate, take action. That’s my view anyway. Not trying to argue with anyone here, as I know full well that you who counsel “offer it up” are correct, because the fault finding tendency can, I know from experience, rule one’s life to no good end. On the other hand, I also know from experience that passivity and lack of communication with those who trespass upon us isn’t (to put it mildly) always the best course for a happy life.

With all of that, the conclusion: it seems to me that it’s OK to open my mouth to tell my brother when I think he’s wrong, but only in a spirit of charity. And indeed, if my displeasure at my brother is pure peevishness, I should offer that lack of charity Up.

 

[Weejee]

Thank you for your replies. I see that “offer it up” is the advice from just about everyone. It’s also biblically sound advice as it surely reflects much of what Jesus and Paul aid about dealing with difficult people. I can also see that it’s right and just to err on the side of forbearance when confronted with apparent wrongs of others. It feels good to forbear and restrain one’s tongue. And to act is anger in always wrong and only proliferates more anger. But forgive me, if some here are suggesting that “offer it up” means bear all and stay silent to all, that’s a policy of passivity that I can’t accept.

For one thing, as noble as the Sermon on the Mount is, they seem hard sayings that few if any can live up to. For another, Christianity teaches that all should have a voice in standing up for what’s right. Jesus said “if your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault” MT 18:15. Ergo, my brother, if you have fecal matter on your hands, I will tell ye to go ye and wash thy hands before leaving the men’s room and touching anything or anyone during mass.

In a Christian life, docility, forgiveness, and love should certainly be paramount over fault finding. Yet, faults do occur, and if they come to my notice I’m obliged to sift where and if true fault has occurred and, if appropriate, take action. That’s my view anyway. Not trying to argue with anyone here, as I know full well that you who counsel “offer it up” are correct, because the fault finding tendency can, I know from experience, rule one’s life to no good end. On the other hand, I also know from experience that passivity and lack of communication with those who trespass upon us isn’t (to put it mildly) always the best course for a happy life.

With all of that, the conclusion: it seems to me that it’s OK to open my mouth to tell my brother when I think he’s wrong, but only in a spirit of charity. And indeed, if my displeasure at my brother is pure peevishness, I should offer that lack of charity Up.

You mean that guy didn’t wash after making A NUMBER TWO ?:bigyikes::bigyikes:

He deserved to be yelled at!

 

[glendab]

The real question is: did he receive Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament in his hands at Mass after not washing his hands after using the rest room? Probably, since that is for the most part the norm. How sad and distressing. I do believe there is a gentle way for this to be brought to his attention without seeming intrusive or demanding. Hang in there Absolvo. The rude comments in this thread aren’t so wise after all. Learning to wash after using the rest room is something most learn before they are of the age to receive Communion. It is an act of charity to inform the man of his offense. If he doesn’t wash his hands any other time in his life he should before reaching them out for the Blessed Sacrament. Come to think of it, I wonder how many here actually do take extra care that their hands have been recently washed as well as the hands of their children in the morning before they go up to receive the Eucharist. We all assume they’ve done so, but I bet if Father got up and asked or mentioned it, there would be some who in their rush to get out the door didn’t who would be embarrassed to think on it. Yuk.

Glenda

 

[SuS33]

Really? We can offer things like that? Our Frustration, annoyance, impatience?

 

[Chayla]

Went to afternoon mass today at one of the larger Churches in my area. Got there early and went to the men’s room; while there, a young guy comes out of one of the stalls and heads right past the sink to the exit door.

This is a tough one. While I do believe that (in under most circumstances) people sould mind their own business, in this situation, the young guy’s behavior (no hand-washing) creates a public health hazard, and can really place vulnerable populations at risk. People, please wash your hands after using the toilet!!!

 

[KendraDZ1902]

Went to afternoon mass today at one of the larger Churches in my area. Got there early and went to the men’s room; while there, a young guy comes out of one of the stalls and heads right past the sink to the exit door. I couldn’t help but yell at him “wash your hands!”

He explained that there was hand sanitizer outside the bathroom which was better than soap. I felt it best not to argue with such invincible ignorance.

I’m allergic to a lot of soaps. I have hand sanitizer connected to my purse because of this reason. I’m also OCD and will use my hand sanitizer A LOT. Seriously, sometimes my mom and husband tell me to chill with the sanitizing.

If someone were to YELL at me about using my hand sanitizer vs. soap, you would see a livid 5 foot person coming at you. That was incredibly rude on YOUR part. You don’t YELL at people.

 

[Weejee]

Really? We can offer things like that? Our Frustration, annoyance, impatience?

Yes sir! When we get frustrated, annoyed, or impatient, we are suffering. So, we offer up our suffering.

In my case, I would have had to offer up my usual chicken-heartedness. “'Scuse me sir, wouldn’t you like to use the sink?”

I’m usually afraid to say anything to anybody, even when they’re wrong. Doing uncomfortable things hurts, so we we can offer that up too.

 

[Absolvo]

I’m allergic to a lot of soaps. I have hand sanitizer connected to my purse because of this reason. I’m also OCD and will use my hand sanitizer A LOT. Seriously, sometimes my mom and husband tell me to chill with the sanitizing.

If someone were to YELL at me about using my hand sanitizer vs. soap, you would see a livid 5 foot person coming at you. That was incredibly rude on YOUR part. You don’t YELL at people.

Isn’t using all caps cyber yelling? (joke)

In any case, we will have to disagree. Any time I see someone leave a bathroom stall after … their … and set on opening the door to the men’s room with the same unwashed hand they … their…with, onward to mass, I will voice my displeasure at their actions because they not only affect me, they affect everyone at the church. If speaking up this way on such an occasion is rude, so be it, and they can react to me however they wish to.

 

[Weejee]

Isn’t using all caps cyber yelling? (joke)

In any case, we will have to disagree. Any time I see someone leave a bathroom stall after … their … and set on opening the door to the men’s room with the same unwashed hand they … their…with, onward to mass, I will voice my displeasure at their actions because they not only affect me, they affect everyone at the church. If speaking up this way on such an occasion is rude, so be it, and they can react to me however they wish to.

I’m with you, pal. Who wants to catch hepatitus? Ewwwww…no one, that’s who.

 

[Mystical_Seeker]

Isn’t using all caps cyber yelling? (joke)

In any case, we will have to disagree. Any time I see someone leave a bathroom stall after … their … and set on opening the door to the men’s room with the same unwashed hand they … their…with, onward to mass, I will voice my displeasure at their actions because they not only affect me, they affect everyone at the church. If speaking up this way on such an occasion is rude, so be it, and they can react to me however they wish to.

I don’t think that dealing with this one incident is going to make a significant difference. You need to camp out in the bathroom and monitor each and every person who comes through. And find a way to monitor those you can’t personally watch. Maybe you should propose an inspection committee to examine the hands of all those who enter for Holy Mass under a low power microscope to check for evidence of uncleanliness. If they pass, they get a green hand stamp authorizing them to go to Communion. If they fail, they get a red X on their foreheads, or they can opt to sit in the quarantine room.

Unless you think that is all a good idea, then your little incident in the bathroom was just spitting into the wind. Like going to a jungle and getting angry at the mosquitos and think swatting one or two is going to make a difference. It doesn’t change the number of mosquitos, but it provides an excuse for anger, indignation, and self-righteousness to express itself. But with that I’m just talking theoretically; if it doesn’t apply in this situation that’s OK.