Son hates baby name

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Cathmomof6

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We are expecting our 7th baby on March 25. He will be our 4th little boy. We had a major scare mid pregnancy when we were told my quad screen came back positive for trisomy 18. Fortunately, it seems to have been a false positive as a level 2 ultrasound and free cell fetal DNA test all came back with good results. Anyways, at that time we started calling him Abram Joseph (Abe) since we thought we might lose him and wanted to give him a name.

Fast forward 10 weeks and I am feeling a strong change of heart to name him Gabriel Joseph (Gabe). Gabriel because his due date is the feast of the Annunciation and Joseph because he will likely be born closer to March 19 - St. Joseph’s feast day. I felt Gabe was close enough to Abe that kids would like it too. However, my oldest 12 year old son hates it and keeps begging me to keep it Abram. I have been referring to him as “baby” now because every time I call him Gabe, my son starts an argument. My husband doesn’t care at all!!

I know it is our decision to name him, but my 12 year old is making me feel bad for changing it. I still like Abe so I sometimes think I should just name him that to keep the peace. What do you all think? It sure adds a whole new dimension to baby naming when you have older kids who STRONGLY voice their opinions!!
 
Why not wait until your new baby is born and you see his sweet face to decide if he looks likean Gabriel or an Abram. He might even help you decide his name, like by making a happy face or crying to one of the names.

Your other son is entitled to his opinion, but he has not yet earned the right to name a baby. That decision belongs to you and your husband. I don’t think we even shared with our other children the names we were considering until the baby was born.
 
gardenswithkids said:
Your other son is entitled to his opinion, but he has not yet earned the right to name a baby. That decision belongs to you and your husband.
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^^ This, and I think you need to (gently) emphasize that to your son. Adult decisions are made by the adults. Having said that, if you haven’t already, you could talk to your son about why he has such a strong aversion to the name. Does he know somebody with the same name, perhaps someone he doesn’t like? Does it remind him of something? Is he worried the baby might be teased when he goes to school? Lots of us don’t like particular names, but we usually don’t hate them unless there’s something unpleasant associated with them.
 
Abram Joseph is a very strong name. I like it a lot. Just saying…

I agree that you will know when you see your son.
 
I don’t know how to reconcile your 12 year old to the new name, just had to comment because my youngest baby is named Gabriel Joseph. 🙂
 
seagal said:
… Having said that, if you haven’t already, you could talk to your son about why he has such a strong aversion to the name. Does he know somebody with the same name, perhaps someone he doesn’t like? Does it remind him of something? Is he worried the baby might be teased when he goes to school? Lots of us don’t like particular names, but we usually don’t hate them unless there’s something unpleasant associated with them.
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^^This
 
There’s no upper limit on how many names a kid can have.

That said, the memories of my own youth tell me that there were a lot of insulting nicknames that sounded similar to Gabe. Since these things run in cycles, I would assume that said insulting names are back, and that your son is concerned about his little brother getting such a name. (Or possibly, about himself getting insulted, or about having to say a name that sounds like an insult on a topic he’s shy about. It could even be a sort of shyness amounting to name cooties.)*

Again, none of this means that you have to jettison “Gabriel,” but maybe you should keep “Abram” also.
  • “Gay,” of course; “gaybie;” and the much older “gaby,” a stupid person whose mouth hangs open like a gabyfish.
 
Well…having a 12 year old son, you surely know that kids often have strong objections to one thing or another for no apparent reason. He might simply not like it.

Frankly, I’d let him have his say, then you make a final decision.

One thing children (and adults) don’t like is uncertainty from their parents (and leaders).
 
Monicad said:
Can you imagine the message you would be sending your son? What a power trip he would feel!
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Well, my 15 year old daughter claims she named our 11 year old daughter. I honestly don’t remember whether or not that’s true. 🤷 She’s never used it as leverage against anyone, though. It’s just a little matter of sisterly pride on her part. 🙂
 
Why not name him Abraham Gabriel Joseph? There is no reason that you cannot have two middle names. My grandmother gave her children two middle names, I did and so has my daughter.
 
I like Gabriel Joseph better myself, but how about Joseph Abraham rather than Abraham Joseph?

I believe in keeping the first name fairly vanilla and doing anything wild and crazy with the middle name.
 
adrift said:
Why not name him Abraham Gabriel Joseph? There is no reason that you cannot have two middle names. My grandmother gave her children two middle names, I did and so has my daughter.
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I wouldn’t hang a lot of names on him. He’s going to have to be filling out paperwork with those names all his life. Make’em short and sweet.
 
Thank him for his (name removed by moderator)ut, but you are the parent and it is your decision to name your children. When he is a parent then he can name his children whatever he and the mom want; and from now on, he can keep his opinions to himself.
 
Cathmomof6 said:
I know it is our decision to name him, but my 12 year old is making me feel bad for changing it. I still like Abe so I sometimes think I should just name him that to keep the peace. What do you all think? It sure adds a whole new dimension to baby naming when you have older kids who STRONGLY voice their opinions!!
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You could propose to leave it in God’s hands and that the baby will have the name of the Saint of the day in which is born and that every one will accept it!!:ehh:

Love,
Gloria

.
 
gardenswithkids said:
Why not wait until your new baby is born and you see his sweet face to decide if he looks likean Gabriel or an Abram. He might even help you decide his name, like by making a happy face or crying to one of the names.

Your other son is entitled to his opinion, but he has not yet earned the right to name a baby. That decision belongs to you and your husband. I don’t think we even shared with our other children the names we were considering until the baby was born.
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This. We were considering a few names and couldn’t decide especially since we had so many people in the family giving their opinions on the names we were considering. I decided to wait until I saw my son’s face. As soon as I did, I knew exactly what he would be named and that was it. I actually stopped telling people the names I was considering with my son towards the end of my pregnancy because some people had such strong opinions and it was really confusing me or making me feel badly about even considering certain names. Telling everyone that I was just going to wait until he came, was the best thing for my sanity. lol! I like both Gabriel and Abram, although I’m impartial to Gabriel as it was a name I considered for him.
 
DaveBj said:
I wouldn’t hang a lot of names on him. He’s going to have to be filling out paperwork with those names all his life. Make’em short and sweet.
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My children are proud of their names and they don’t seem to have problems with the paperwork. One is 29 letters long and that is before his confirmation name. It gives them a lot of choices and not one has complained about it nor shortened their names which they could do.
 
gardenswithkids said:
Your other son is entitled to his opinion, but he has not yet earned the right to name a baby. That decision belongs to you and your husband. I don’t think we even shared with our other children the names we were considering until the baby was born.
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I agree with this…this is not your child’s decision to make. He needs to learn to be gracious in disappointment…and I’m sure he’ll survive!!
 
How much attention is the 12 year old getting? He may just not like the name or he may be arguing for attention. Is he the oldest? Twelve is a weird age, he is transiting into being an older child if he isn’t the oldest, is it possible he’s having trouble with that transition?
 
Name him Gabriel, call him Gabe, and tell your twelve year old he can call the baby Abe. It will be his special nickname for his brother. The nicknames aren’t all that different.
 
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