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1990Domer
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I agree here to. There should be a knowable adult mediator.
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1990Domer
Guest
Either was it was judged inappropriate. Letting it go may work for this young man but may also send a message to his buddies that they can take pot shots with little consequence. This is where teasing crosses the line into bullying and effects the victim’s self esteem, perhaps for a longer time than one would think.I’d say let it go. He seems penitent, the line between “flirting” and harassment can be somewhat blurred, and if he’s working, he would seem to be a responsible young fellow. Chalk it up to experience and let him be. IMNAAHO.
ICXC NIKA
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1990Domer
Guest
Sending or saying nothing at all (ignore) often gives the appearance that it is OK to do…perhaps never by your son but by other kids who saw the final outcome. Also, going through a school mediary is better than clearing this up yourself. They have training in this. We may be too emotionally changed.Sometimes, the best apology is to say nothing but change the behavior and quit doing it. I doubt given the situation your son will be in a situation to offer a sincere apology face to face
I think flowers are a bad idea. It is also an insult to think a material gift can make up for what he did
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GEddie
Guest
I don’t think that in this case, punishment should have as a goal to send a message to his friends. Particularly since a) his familial punishment would never be seen by them, b) supposedly, he is backing off from them already, and c) they might simply interpret that as his folks being stricter than their own.Either was it was judged inappropriate. Letting it go may work for this young man but may also send a message to his buddies that they can take pot shots with little consequence. This is where teasing crosses the line into bullying and effects the victim’s self esteem, perhaps for a longer time than one would think.
ICXC NIKA
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mommy_k
Guest
I am sure that you called the school and asked for details about what exactly your son said.
The punishment and how u handle this is a private family issue…I would never tailor a punishment to send a message to other kids who are not my responsibilty.
Their parents and the school can take care of this- and it is nobody’s business how I discipline.
Because this is an at home suspension, I would make sure that he wakes up at the same time as if he were going to school, and I would give him a list of things to do while on suspension. Vacumming, cleaning bathrooms and things like this.
To tell him to study is not measurable…
As for the apology- I would not push it because it will make the girl feel uncomfortable. Best to stay away. Even with a witness, it is drawing attention to it especially if they are called out of class for this. She may want to just drop it.
The punishment and how u handle this is a private family issue…I would never tailor a punishment to send a message to other kids who are not my responsibilty.
Their parents and the school can take care of this- and it is nobody’s business how I discipline.
Because this is an at home suspension, I would make sure that he wakes up at the same time as if he were going to school, and I would give him a list of things to do while on suspension. Vacumming, cleaning bathrooms and things like this.
To tell him to study is not measurable…
As for the apology- I would not push it because it will make the girl feel uncomfortable. Best to stay away. Even with a witness, it is drawing attention to it especially if they are called out of class for this. She may want to just drop it.
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