Son's homosexual lifestyle

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Ok, so this thread may be a duplicate… or the other one went into God’s hands directly from cyberspace.
This evening, my 22 year old son, who has professed a homosexual lifestyle for nearly five years, was in tears and told me his ‘boyfriend’ cheated on him. (That’s happened before - different boyfriend.) He really couldn’t talk to me, other than for me to cry with him, and say I understood, but he couldn’t say much more because I do not condone the situation. I told him that the lifestyle will lead to more tragedy in his life, at which point he left for a friend’s house. This has happened before. We’ve had some good conversations and bad conversations in the past. I can only ask for prayers and advice from anyone who’s ‘been there, done that’. But please, no born that way, accept him as he is, etc… because I know prayers are answered, and I have witnessed testimony from those who have left the lifestyle. I am a sinner, but my prayers were heard when I asked God to give him a job, and he did, during these tough economic times. I dunno, I’ve been reading weekly for some time a short prayer for coming out of cults, and I wonder if this is God’s first step in his life. Again, please pray for my son and render solid assistance and thoughts if you can. Thanks.:o
 
Forget-me-not, I can only pray for you both, your son and you. It must be so difficult for you.

I don’t think you need to say more to him about his lifestyle.
He knows, and knowing achieves nothing, unless the grace comes from God. He is honest about where he is, and only God can change that.

And it’s true that heterosexual relationships often fail too and bring much heartache. Your son would know that, and so often in CAF we have heartbroken men who have lost their girlfriends or wives, and vice versa. So, yes, sorrow and consequences follow any kind of lack of gospel order in our lives or in the lives of those with whom we share our lives.

You can only be there for him and pray for him. He needs your love…judgement, and grace, is in God’s hands,
But as you say, you can pray for him. And I will too.

It can’t be easy :grouphug:
 
God is showing your son what homosexuality leads to. Trust in Him.

If something is from God, it begins in fear but ends with peace.
If something is from Satan, it begins with peace but ends in fear.
God’s ways seem impossible. Satan’s ways lead to the impossible (destruction).
 
You can still grieve that he’s hurting, and you aren’t required to turn his every hurt into a moral lesson. He might benefit from your presence if you are willing to simply be there for him, whether you “approve” of his homosexuality or not.

Telling him you’re sorry that he’s hurting would not be condoning his lifestyle, and you could still fulfill your role as his parent by comforting him when he’s in pain.

I’m sure your son knows where you stand about homosexuality, but he came to you anyway. Perhaps that is a common bond on which you can build. I would suggest, however, that you not use that particular moment to critique him, because it might result in his turning away from you permanently. He knows your views; reiterating them at a time like this risks making him think you’re rubbing it in, or kicking him when he’s down. Be careful, or you might lose him.
 
Thanks. I am very careful what I say. I will try to give him more love and understanding, as I know how losing someone hurts. I’ve treaded very carefully these several years. I hurt for him. I just want to fix it for him and I can’t. I’m trying to hang in there, but it’s been hard, and we don’t talk about his lifestyle, basically. When we have, there have been good and bad conversation times.
 
Praying for your son’s conversion and for healing for you…
Rachel
 
I have no idea whether this will work for you and your son, but you could suggest a truce to him: something along the lines of “You know where I stand, and I know you disagree. But I love you no matter what, and I’m here for you when you need me. I will agree not to criticize this issue if you will agree not to subject me to things you know I cannot condone. But we can be here for each other despite how each of us feels on this issue.”

Not that I’m an expert or anything. But maybe something like that will help.
 
To have same-sex attractions is to be unfaithful. Period. It doesn’t matter if the object of that unfaithfulness is a member of the same sex or Christ Himself. Now is a beautiful time to introduce your son to the therapy that can cure him of this loathsome appetite of his so that he may begin to live a genuinely fruitful life in Christ.
 
Prayers accomplish and get things done, the answer is never as soon as we like but prayers for you and your son.
 
I can’t think of any advise to give you at this time that hasn’t already been given. I have a good friend who is now a celibate homosexual, who in the past has been in a few relationships any many “encounters”. It took being hurt badly by those experiences and realizing that his preaching “the gospel of me” (his words, not mine) in his life was ultimately harming him, and he wasn’t ‘having fun’ anymore. He realized that he will probably never become heterosexual, but he needed to live his life according to God’s will. A few months ago, he returned to the Church after a 5 year absence, and I was blessed to be able to rejoice with him after his first Confession and subsequent first Communion after that 5 year period.

I know you want to do everything you can to spare your son pain, but I would only suggest to not do so (as painful as it is). Comfort him as much as you are able when he asks for it, but maybe through the pain he has experienced (and will continue to experience as long as he’s a part of this lifestyle) will be what ultimately leads him back to the Church.

I will be praying for him, and for your whole family.

God Bless!
Ericka
 
Thank you, everyone. I was really feeling down and out last night. I think we have the ‘truce’ as was mentioned, though we never called one verbally; it was pretty much understood, though I think I could re-state it at an opportune moment. It’s the prayers that are needed, and I appreciate them. Yeah, he doesn’t attend Church, and neither do my other two, but that’s a different story. Can’t say I didn’t do the same thing at their age… went back and forth with attending Mass… But still, I keep thinking that he will come back as that really is his answer, only he doesn’t see it that way - just yet.
 
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