Son's Mormon roomate is asking questions about the Faith

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My 28 year son has a Mormon roomate (they played baseball together in college, now work for same insurance company), and he has been spending a lot of time with our family the last 6 months. My son brings him home on weekend visits, when he comes home to see his girlfriend.

My son says he is asking questions about the Catholic Church and the Faith, in a spirit of curious. “I see you with your family and how y’all look forward to the weekends when all of you go to Mass. You must be on to something.”

It is in that spirit my son called and advised Ryan was asking questions he wasn’t sure how to answer. I told him I would help.

My question is how to handle this from here, without the chasing the young man off with zealously. He has mentioned nothing about converting, but deep down my son says he think’s he’s open to it.

The subject of religion does not come up when he is here, but back in Mobile with just the 2 of them, it comes up often. I dunno why.

Should we just answer his questions as best we can? Refer him to more formal authority? Wait to see what* his *next move is? Invite him to Mass, or wait to see if asks?

Any help will be appreciated. I don’t wanna mess this up.
 
Hello,

If it were me - I would refer him (the Mormon roommate) to the Catechism of the Catholic Church. If you have the means, buy it for him. Show him the subject index in the back and how to navigate through it and tell him if he has a question or needs clarification on something, just ask.

That really is the most gentle approach (no over-zealousness with it - although that isn’t always a bad thing ;)). Once he reads the Catechism, he’ll know what the Church teaches. Even if he doesn’t agree with it, at least he’ll know with what he doesn’t agree.
 
This is quite rare. Question - did he serve the 2 year Mormon mission as a younger man? I’d guess not as I heard this on none other than Catholic radio itself this past week - 95% of Mormon young men who go on mission stay Mormon till their death. That is the stength of that itness. No Chritian denomination I know of claims anywhere near that kind of fidelity percentage-wise. Even the Pentecostals.

The only one close or in that area are the Muslims.

I suspect his Mormon background is not as firm. Somehwat of a rarity in the LDS. Perhaps his parents are “jack Mormons”.

Best be first he knows his faith truly before trying to influence him otherwise. IMO that would be dis-honest. I think you’d expect the same for your son.
 
BamaRider said:
My 28 year son has a Mormon roomate (they played baseball together in college, now work for same insurance company), and he has been spending a lot of time with our family the last 6 months. My son brings him home on weekend visits, when he comes home to see his girlfriend.

My son says he is asking questions about the Catholic Church and the Faith, in a spirit of curious. “I see you with your family and how y’all look forward to the weekends when all of you go to Mass. You must be on to something.”

It is in that spirit my son called and advised Ryan was asking questions he wasn’t sure how to answer. I told him I would help.

My question is how to handle this from here, without the chasing the young man off with zealously. He has mentioned nothing about converting, but deep down my son says he think’s he’s open to it.

The subject of religion does not come up when he is here, but back in Mobile with just the 2 of them, it comes up often. I dunno why.

Should we just answer his questions as best we can? Refer him to more formal authority? Wait to see what* his *next move is? Invite him to Mass, or wait to see if asks?

Any help will be appreciated. I don’t wanna mess this up.
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I was in the exactly same situation as your son with my Baptist college roommate. He asked me about the Church a few times, so I invited him to tag along with me to Mass if he wanted. He started going with me, took his questions to the Priests after Mass, and ultimately ended-up strongly Catholic himself. Nobody ever proselytized him or anything, he converted himself. I thought his mother would freak; but in the process of becoming a Catholic, he also became a spiritual and noticeably more moral, responsible and focused person, which was reflected by a major improvement in his grades, so she was cool with it - and now dotes over her Catholic grandchildren.

It obviously depends upon the individuals, the situation, and the activity levels of other family members, but my observations are that it can be very difficult for a Mormon to leave. A lot of guys stay Mormon, even though they know it’s bunk, just to avoid causing a family rift. In any case, don’t pressure the guy; answer his questions and let him go with you to Mass if he wants, but let him decide what’s best for him.
 
No, he didn’t go on the mission, and his family are not staunch members of the faith. My son tells me they are currently not attending church. By son has learned by spending time at his house, and in one on one conversations, his family is not close.

The young man comes from a large family, and has 5 sisters. In the intrest of being a good host I advised him a Mormon Church was only a few mintues away and offered him the use of one of our cars to attend service if he wished. He has never taken the offer. I’m not totally familar with all Mormon diet rules, but I can tell ya he ignores the one about caffine.

I do know 2 years ago, he was the on the wrong end of a break up of a 5 year relationship, and is currently lost. I’ve been around the block or 2, and can tell the young man is looking for something, but has no clue on what to do next.
 
IMO the best thing to do is to get this kid around your family more and more. Invite him to Mass. Let him see what being a catholic in your family means. It seems to me that this is how the kid has become attracted to knowing more about the faith. Feed him more of that, make that bond and desire stronger. Sometimes it’s not all about what we say to them, how we explain things, but how we act and what we do.
 
BamaRider said:
…
Should we just answer his questions as best we can?
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yes
Refer him to more formal authority?
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as RCIA? (yes) The priest is usually busy, so just tell him of this forum and Catholic Radio
Wait to see what* his *next move is?
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until he needs you, be suportive which includes waiting
Invite him to Mass, or wait to see if asks?..
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invite both in current and with a “The Church is always open if you would like to visit”

That is my suggestions
 
Since he hasn’t opened up to you and has only opened up to your son, I recommend being the same family you’ve always been while equipping your son to evangelize him. You can take this opportunity to deepen your own prayer life and relationship with God because it is proof positive that you are a witness in everything you do. Your son can be the one to invite his roomate to Mass with the family, to answer questions, and to introduce him to the faith.

Does your son have time for a Bible study? He could invite his roomate. Does he have time to read a book on Catholic history? He can discuss it with his roomate. Any questions he can’t answer, he can tell the friend he doesn’t know but will find out and get back to him.

There’s something more formal and absolute when your answers are coming from parents than from peers. If he hasn’t broached the topic with you, then let your son be the one to take the lead. There’s nothing stopping him from saying, “Hey, it’s Sunday! You should be at church. Get dressed and you can come with me.” As hard as it might be, I’d recommend not following it up with an open-ended question asking what he thought of it. It puts him on the spot. If he is inclined to talk, you can talk without putting him on the spot. The priest’s homily is a good discussion point and you can discuss your own impressions and how it applied to you, leaving him the opportunity to respond with his eperiences if he wants. That gives him time to absorb and process it and to go to your son later when he feels comfortable.
 
Could you do some checking in the place where your son lives and find a group that your son would find interesting (Theology on Tap, Great Adventure Bible Study group, a Catholic men’s fellowship, a pro life group, a “Why Catholic” group). If your son joins, he can then invite his friend along…

Also, what about buying your son a Sirius Satellite Radio? There are two Catholic stations, and can be something of interest…
 
BamaRider said:
My son says he is asking questions about the Catholic Church and the Faith, in a spirit of curious. "I see you with your family and how y’all look forward to the weekends when all of you go to Mass. You must be on to something."Should we just answer his questions as best we can? Refer him to more formal authority? Wait to see what* his *next move is? Invite him to Mass, or wait to see if asks? Any help will be appreciated. I don’t wanna mess this up.
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Many excellent written souces are available right here at CA. Just go to “Shopping” and browse around. Has your son invited him to mass or Adoration with him? Just being in the True Presence has lead many hearts home.

Christ’s peace.
 
Just be who you are. 🙂 I can’t tell you how many Catholic converts I have come across who say their journey home started 10, 15 years ago with a visit to friends house, or one Sunday at mass.

Invite him to mass, especially if he is visiting you over the weekend. Pray for him.
 
Thanks for the responses.

I got a phone call from my son today. He said the 3 hour ride back to their apt. yesterday, was occupied with family talk and the Catholic Faith.

His roomate’s family is not dysfunctional, but he said there is a stark difference, when he with us, and when in this own family. He told my son our family compared to his, and those of the other Mormons he knows, is much more fun, outgoing, optimistic, and full of hope.

The boy, (roomate) outside of my son, has no social life. I know it is because he has not recovered from the break up he went through 2 years ago with his girl friend. I asked my son’s gf to help him and she told me ALOT would have to change with him before she would ask one of* her *friends to go out with him. Long story short he is wallowing in self pity.

I told my son to pass on to him, Catholics certainly have their share of dysfunctional families, but as a whole we are a optimisitc people, because we have much to be thankful for. The Mass, The Sacraments, and direction.

He said now would be a good time for him to brush up on his Faith by joining a RCIA group, and will invite his roomate along.
 
Get him a copy of a book “Catholicism for Dummies” which was actually written by two catholic priests who appear on a TV show on EWTN. This helped me when I first converted to answer some of the basic questions about the faith and the church. I found the Catechism to be quite dense myself and especially for somone who just wants to know basics and is “programmed” in others doctrines and beleifs about God and the Trinity. Then let the Holy Spirit take it from there. You would have planted a seed, thats all you can do. I would not push it any further but I would answer his questions whenever he asked. There has to be some questions and doubts that he has otherwise he would not be asking these questions. Even if he has no intention of converting, this is still a great book for non-Catholics.

Later I read two books The Concise History of the Catholic Church (for the history major in me) and Fundamentalism vs Catholicism (for the former Baptist in me) that really helped me in mu conversion process.
 
rien said:
This is quite rare. Question - did he serve the 2 year Mormon mission as a younger man? I’d guess not as I heard this on none other than Catholic radio itself this past week - 95% of Mormon young men who go on mission stay Mormon till their death. That is the stength of that itness. No Chritian denomination I know of claims anywhere near that kind of fidelity percentage-wise. Even the Pentecostals.

The only one close or in that area are the Muslims.

I suspect his Mormon background is not as firm. Somehwat of a rarity in the LDS. Perhaps his parents are “jack Mormons”.

Best be first he knows his faith truly before trying to influence him otherwise. IMO that would be dis-honest. I think you’d expect the same for your son.
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HO HO HO you have got to be kidding right? I highly question your facts about retention of LDS Members and the percentage of missionaries who remain in the church. The LDS church Newspaper Deseret Morning News Published: Thursday, Feb. 14, 2008 reported: “Late President Gordon B. Hinckley once told the Quorum of the Twelve, “Brethren, when my life is finished and the final services are concluding, I am going to rise up as I go by, look each of you in the eye and say, 'How are we doing on retention?”’ Retention has become a real focus. For you don’t need an abacus to know many members have left the building.
What happened to them?”

In the United States, Mormons are departing from the faith as fast as converts are joining. Converts rarely remain active in the Mormon Church. The official Mormon reaction to the articles stating that there are significantly less than 12 million members worldwide.

This is from a Salt Lake Tribune article Sep. 1st, 2005 quoting Merrill Bateman, a Mormon Seventy

“…He agreed the LDS Church’s worldwide membership, reported at 12 million, includes many who no longer consider themselves Mormon, but he disagreed with researchers who estimated active Mormons equal only 4 million.

Bateman said that number doesn’t count those in undeveloped countries who find it difficult to attend sacrament meetings. ‘So you might have in the neighborhood of . . . 4 [million] and 5 million members attending church at any given time, but those who are active would be more than that.’

Point: do not be afraid to aggressively help your sons friend see the truth about Mormonism. Many have left and many more will leave, it is only a matter of someone telling the truth to those who are honest enough to hear it. Start out with something simple like telling him about The origins of the Catholic church and how many false prophets and teachers have tried to rise up and fight against Christ’s church. Then tell him about the Kinderhook plates, The papyrus and the Book of Abraham etc (look these up on the web they are very convincing arguments that have led many to the truth about Mormonism).

Tiber diving team of 2004 (we go deeper)
 
Thanks for the comments. This is still a work in progress. We answer his questions, but still not sure on how agreesive we need to be.
 
Hello,
BamaRider said:
Thanks for the comments. This is still a work in progress. We answer his questions, but still not sure on how agreesive we need to be.
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Don’t worry, the Holy Spirit knows how aggressive to be - but your trust in Him.

Only the Holy Spirit can convert a soul - ours is not to convert, but to converse!
 
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