Soon to be Catholic

[newbiecatholic]

This is a question I am a little embarressed to ask, but I need to know. Is it a mortal sin for a divorced women to pleasure herself? I know that masterbation is a mortal sin for a man. I am in a relationship with a catholic and its keeps me wanting intimacy. I have my first confession this month and if this is a sin, how do I confess such an act?

 

[1ke]

This is a question I am a little embarressed to ask, but I need to know. Is it a mortal sin for a divorced women to pleasure herself? I know that masterbation is a mortal sin for a man.

Masterbation is a sin against the sixth commandment whethe a man does it or a woman does it.

So, yes, this is a sin for a woman just as it is for a man. Do you undestand why it is a sin?

I am in a relationship with a catholic and its keeps me wanting intimacy. I have my first confession this month and if this is a sin, how do I confess such an act?

You can confess masterbation. Or, you can use a euphemism such as “self-abuse” or “sexual acts while alone.”

 

[thistle]

Masterbation is a sin against the sixth commandment whethe a man does it or a woman does it.

So, yes,** this is a sin for a woman **just as it is for a man. Do you undestand why it is a sin?

You can confess masterbation. Or, you can use a euphemism such as “self-abuse” or “sexual acts while alone.”

It is not a sin for a woman to masturbate within a marriage during or after the conjugal act.

 

[bilop]

It is not a sin for a woman to masturbate within a marriage during or after the conjugal act.

Yes it is.

It is not a sin for a husband to manually stimulate his wife (to climax) before, during or after a completed act of intercourse.

But, masturbation is always sinful.

God Bless

 

[1ke]

It is not a sin for a woman to masturbate within a marriage during or after the conjugal act.

Yes, it is.

 

[Seatuck]

It is not a sin for a woman to masturbate within a marriage during or after the conjugal act.

This is not wide held opinion although it is written is several moral theology texts. Somehow reading it the way you have written does not make the case. It would be better to quote the text.

 

[Baloo]

masturbation is a sin for both men and women, because it isn’t natural, and it’s just for the selfish pleasure, and not for the love between a man and a woman.

 

[jmcrae]

This is a question I am a little embarressed to ask, but I need to know. Is it a mortal sin for a divorced women to pleasure herself? I know that masterbation is a mortal sin for a man. I am in a relationship with a catholic and its keeps me wanting intimacy. I have my first confession this month and if this is a sin, how do I confess such an act?

Just say it the same way you said it here. They have heard it all - he will not be shocked, nor will he think less of you.

 

[VociMike]

This is a question I am a little embarressed to ask, but I need to know. Is it a mortal sin for a divorced women to pleasure herself? I know that masterbation is a mortal sin for a man. I am in a relationship with a catholic and its keeps me wanting intimacy. I have my first confession this month and if this is a sin, how do I confess such an act?

You have to be careful when speaking about “mortal sin” since for a sin to be mortal there must be full knowledge and full consent as well as the grave act itself.

Having said that, yes, it is sinful to distort our God-given human sexuality in this way. It is a disordered response to our sexual nature. Don’t beat yourself up over it (we are, alas, a Fallen Race), but do recognize that it is a misuse of one’s sexuality, and it does lead to the objectification of how one treats sexual activity and even how one views other people.

So ask God for the grace to be obedient to his will, and do the best you can, and know that you are being sanctified through your efforts.

 

[thistle]

Yes, it is.

Ideally both husband and wife should climax at the same time at completion of the marital act when the husband finishes inside the wife. More often than not this does not happen and it is permitted for the wife to masturbate to her orgasm. There is no spilling of seed.

 

[bilop]

Ideally both husband and wife should climax at the same time at completion of the marital act when the husband finishes inside the wife. More often than not this does not happen and it is permitted for the wife to masturbate to her orgasm. There is no spilling of seed.

No it is not.

It is permitted for the husband to bring the wife to orgasm by manual stimulation, but not the wife to do so herself.

God Bless

 

[thistle]

No it is not.

It is permitted for the husband to bring the wife to orgasm by manual stimulation, but not the wife to do so herself.

God Bless

Even if I got it the wrong way round, manual stimulation is masturbation. In other words masturbation of the wife is permitted during or after the marital act but it is not permitted outside the marital act or outside marriage.

 

[lobster]

Is it a mortal sin for a divorced women to pleasure herself? I know that masterbation is a mortal sin for a man.

There are no gender specific sins. What is a sin for one is also a sin for another.

 

[bilop]

Even if I got it the wrong way round, manual stimulation is masturbation. In other words masturbation of the wife is permitted during or after the marital act but it is not permitted outside the marital act or outside marriage.

I wouldn’t call it masturbation. It is manual stimulation within the context of the marital act. Just like a wife can stimulate her husband prior to the act.

Likewise oral stimulation would not be “oral sex”, in the context of a completed marital act.

God Bless

 

[thistle]

I wouldn’t call it masturbation. It is manual stimulation within the context of the marital act. Just like a wife can stimulate her husband prior to the act.

Likewise oral stimulation would not be “oral sex”, in the context of a completed marital act.

God Bless

Manual stimulation to orgasm is masturbation.

 

[LilyM]

Manual stimulation to orgasm is masturbation.

Nope - according to the CCC masturbation = deliberate stimulation (not necessarily manual, can be done with a device or something) for the purposes of sexual arousal (meaning it doesn’t have do be to the point of orgasm).

 

[Viki63]

This is a question I am a little embarressed to ask, but I need to know. Is it a mortal sin for a divorced women to pleasure herself? I know that masterbation is a mortal sin for a man. I am in a relationship with a catholic and its keeps me wanting intimacy. I have my first confession this month and if this is a sin, how do I confess such an act?

I prefer the phrase “sins against purity.” Could be watching an inappropriate movie, or any number of things, and is less graphic.

 

[thistle]

Nope - according to the CCC masturbation = deliberate stimulation (not necessarily manual, can be done with a device or something) for the purposes of sexual arousal (meaning it doesn’t have do be to the point of orgasm).

Manual (or otherwise) stimulation for sexual arousal or to orgasm IS masturbation. You are simply splitting hairs as to whether the act of masturbation is completed or not. Frankly there is no difference. It is still masturbation.
A wife is permitted to be masturbated to orgasm during or after the marital act.
When the OP is asking about masturbation she is obviously referring to the completed act of masturbation to orgasm.

 

[bilop]

Manual (or otherwise) stimulation for sexual arousal or to orgasm IS masturbation. You are simply splitting hairs as to whether the act of masturbation is completed or not. Frankly there is no difference. It is still masturbation.
A wife is permitted to be masturbated to orgasm during or after the marital act.
When the OP is asking about masturbation she is obviously referring to the completed act of masturbation to orgasm.

The difference is self-stimulation (masturbation-not allowed) vs. stimulation as fore-play or after-play during marital relations (allowed).

God Bless

 

[jemfinch]

Nope - according to the CCC masturbation = deliberate stimulation (not necessarily manual, can be done with a device or something) for the purposes of sexual arousal (meaning it doesn’t have do be to the point of orgasm).

You’re missing one key point: " ‘The deliberate use of the sexual faculty, for whatever reason, outside of marriage is essentially contrary to its purpose.’ For here sexual pleasure is sought outside of ‘the sexual relationship which is demanded by the moral order an din which the total meaning of mutual self-giving and human procreation in the context of true love is achieved.’" It’s essential to the character of masturbation that it occur outside the context of the marital act. Manual stimulation, even of one’s own self, may not be masturbation if it is in the context of a proper marital sex act.

There’s nothing in the catechism that distinguishes who (or what, for that matter) is deliberately stimulating the genital organs. If it’s permissible for a husband to deliberately stimulate his wife’s genital organs in the context of a sex act, then it’s permissible for a wife to deliberately stimulate her own genital organs in the context of the sex act. Absolutely nothing in the Catechism teaches otherwise.

The female orgasm is incredibly complex, and women who’ve married as virgins may not know enough about themselves and their sexuality to be able to teach their husbands to bring them to orgasm without first doing it themselves. As long as they do so in the context of the marital act and in the spirit of self-giving, there is nothing in the Catechism to say that they shouldn’t.

Jeremy