S
Sepharad
Guest
I know I seemed to suddenly drop off the forum last week, I’m going to explain but it will take some time!
Last week, I received a telephone call from a hospital in a rundown part of town…they asked if I knew a certain man, and I said he was a distant cousin (2nd), but I’d never actually met him, just knew of him from my Dad, who had been friendly with him many yrs ago. I didn’t know what had happened to him, I figured he passed away because I stopped seeing him in the phone book last year.
Well…I find out he had been living in a rundown, roach-infested apartment, in an area with hookers and druggies, was 85 yrs old, and someone called the cops because he looked disoriented and emaciated. That’s how he wound up in the hospital.
Anyway, because they could not find any other family in the phone book, they called me since I have the same last name as him (25 yrs ago, I did not take my husband’s last name when we married…not for feminist reasons but for heritage reasons…and I am SO GLAD now that I didn’t!)
I went to the hospital, met him for the first time, and signed paperwork to admit him to hospice (medicare pays for it, no I won’t get stuck paying, don’t worry!) because they said he is terminally ill with lung cancer that has spread to his bones (they gave him one week to live.)
I figured my part was over after I signed to admit him to hospice, but then I started talking to him…when I told him that his grandmother was my great-grandmother, he began telling me about her…she died in 1937 and so I never knew her.
I also found out he is a WW2 veteran. At first I thought he was just rambling, but then the social worker came in, asked to speak to me, and told me I need to make burial arrangements for him. Having just found out he was a vet, I knew I’d have to find his discharge papers so the military will give him a free burial.
So, the SW gave me the key to his apartment and I went there. UGH…the way he had to live was horrible (he is financially destitute, the SW also told me)…but I found the discharge papers, and also his medals.
My God…this man was a decorated war hero! He fought to liberate the Philippines from Japanese occupation,…he took part in the occupation of Japan…he has about 8 medals!
I went back to the hospital and showed the SW…everyone was in amazement about this previously unknown, indigent man who probably seemed at first like any other elderly man who comes in there every day.
I went home and set about seeing what to do to arrange his burial. I found a Jewish society that will pay for the costs of his burial in a Jewish cemetery. I found out that the nearest military cem is too far away, but the military will send an honor guard to his funeral…they will cover his casket with the US flag, fire the three volley salute, and salute his casket. This will be far more respect than this man ever got in his life!
And then, with help from some online friends who are good at this, I tracked down his brother. Unfortunately, his brother has a voicebox who is normally called a wife, and she seems to be his gonad holder too
…because when I called she immediately grabbed the phone and did all the talking for him, and she began cursing and badmouthing my cousin (the war hero who is dying in hospice), saying she never wants to hear from or about him again, what a horrible man he was, etc etc etc. I then heard her say to her husband, “Get on this phone and tell this girl everything I just told her.”
That’s when I told her he is a decorated war hero, and she laughed and accused me of “listening to his lies”. I said no, I have his discharge papers and his medals right in front of me!
Then, this woman started saying to me, “I’ll tell you, you say you are going to make sure he gets a military funeral, he does not deserve it! Somebody needs to come to that funeral when it happens, and tell what he was REALLY like!”
I called the SW at the hospice, told her what happened, and I expressed fear that this woman might make her milquetoast husband go down there, as my cousin’s brother, and take him out of the hospice and throw him out on the street. She assured me that cannot happen, but I’m worried that without a power of attorney, him being his brother might trump me being his 2nd cousin. But she said everything will be OK. I just need to make sure that a) he stays safe in hospice, away from anyone who might want to harm him, and b) that he will have a funeral with full military honors. If I have to die making sure this happens, I will.
Here is another shocker: when my husband and I were first married, we had to go for marriage counseling during out 1st year, we had some issues to resolve. The counselor we’d gone to was a really nice guy, and we stayed friends with him over the years.
Anyway, one day two years ago, I was surfing the web when I found a story by him on a Holocaust history website…evidently he was a Belgian Jew who had escaped with his family from Belgium as the Nazis were advancing…they tried entering the USA but our country had immigrant quotas back then, so they went to the Philippines to wait things out until their quota number was called for the USA. But then, the Japanese invaded and took over, and threw everyone into internment camps.
They were finally liberated by the Americans in January 1945. I looked up his number and called him, to say I read his story online, and that I never knew that about his background! He told me that he would give anything to be able to meet one of those American soldiers who had liberated them when he was 10 yrs old…he wanted to say thank you. I said yes, that would be a great thing to happen. We then caught up on life since we last went to him for counseling, and I figured that was the end of that.
Well…after finding my cousin’s war record and medals, it clicked in my mind…my cousin is one of those soldiers that liberated this counselor we knew!
So, I got out the phone number for him, called him to let him know of the situation, and all he could say to me was, “Oh my God, Oh my God” over and over! He is going to go to the hospice to meet my cousin, and he has to go soon because they have given him only days to live.
I am just so absolutely freaked out over all of this…the way things all came together…and to think when I first got that call from the hospital, I asked God not to dump this on me so soon after my mother died, that there has to be someone else who can do it! But as it turned out, not only was I the only next of kin willing to be involved that they could even locate, but I’d had the experience of doing all this for my mother, plus I knew what to do to ensure the military funeral, and I was the only one who knew my counselor friend who has had it as a prayer all his life to be able to find and shake the hand of one of the US soldiers who liberated them that day in January, 1945.
I’d like to ask all of you to please keep him in prayer…he was basically rejected by his side of the family because he developed some emotional and other problems related to his combat duty, and it seems my late father was the only one in the family who would talk to him (Dad never rejected anybody!) He and my Dad were first cousins (he was the son of one of my Dad’s uncles.)
I spoke to his landlord, his social worker, his neighbors, and two sisters who he and his parents had helped raise after their father threw them out, and ALL of them had nothing but very high praise for him as a person and as a human being. I don’t know why his sister-in-law hates him so much, but it is truly her loss, IMO.
He only has a few days to live; last Friday when he entered hospice they told me he probably only had a week. He had a terrible life; his combat duty in the war ruined his mind and his life in so many ways, condemning him to live in a very bad area where he was taken advantage of.
I am determined that he will have honor in his death as a decorated veteran of World War Two…honor he never received in life from his part of the family.
My own mother died only 4 months ago, and she was also in hospice…pray for me if you will, that God continues giving me the strength to handle all of this.
Last week, I received a telephone call from a hospital in a rundown part of town…they asked if I knew a certain man, and I said he was a distant cousin (2nd), but I’d never actually met him, just knew of him from my Dad, who had been friendly with him many yrs ago. I didn’t know what had happened to him, I figured he passed away because I stopped seeing him in the phone book last year.
Well…I find out he had been living in a rundown, roach-infested apartment, in an area with hookers and druggies, was 85 yrs old, and someone called the cops because he looked disoriented and emaciated. That’s how he wound up in the hospital.
Anyway, because they could not find any other family in the phone book, they called me since I have the same last name as him (25 yrs ago, I did not take my husband’s last name when we married…not for feminist reasons but for heritage reasons…and I am SO GLAD now that I didn’t!)
I went to the hospital, met him for the first time, and signed paperwork to admit him to hospice (medicare pays for it, no I won’t get stuck paying, don’t worry!) because they said he is terminally ill with lung cancer that has spread to his bones (they gave him one week to live.)
I figured my part was over after I signed to admit him to hospice, but then I started talking to him…when I told him that his grandmother was my great-grandmother, he began telling me about her…she died in 1937 and so I never knew her.
I also found out he is a WW2 veteran. At first I thought he was just rambling, but then the social worker came in, asked to speak to me, and told me I need to make burial arrangements for him. Having just found out he was a vet, I knew I’d have to find his discharge papers so the military will give him a free burial.
So, the SW gave me the key to his apartment and I went there. UGH…the way he had to live was horrible (he is financially destitute, the SW also told me)…but I found the discharge papers, and also his medals.
My God…this man was a decorated war hero! He fought to liberate the Philippines from Japanese occupation,…he took part in the occupation of Japan…he has about 8 medals!
I went back to the hospital and showed the SW…everyone was in amazement about this previously unknown, indigent man who probably seemed at first like any other elderly man who comes in there every day.
I went home and set about seeing what to do to arrange his burial. I found a Jewish society that will pay for the costs of his burial in a Jewish cemetery. I found out that the nearest military cem is too far away, but the military will send an honor guard to his funeral…they will cover his casket with the US flag, fire the three volley salute, and salute his casket. This will be far more respect than this man ever got in his life!
And then, with help from some online friends who are good at this, I tracked down his brother. Unfortunately, his brother has a voicebox who is normally called a wife, and she seems to be his gonad holder too
…because when I called she immediately grabbed the phone and did all the talking for him, and she began cursing and badmouthing my cousin (the war hero who is dying in hospice), saying she never wants to hear from or about him again, what a horrible man he was, etc etc etc. I then heard her say to her husband, “Get on this phone and tell this girl everything I just told her.”That’s when I told her he is a decorated war hero, and she laughed and accused me of “listening to his lies”. I said no, I have his discharge papers and his medals right in front of me!
Then, this woman started saying to me, “I’ll tell you, you say you are going to make sure he gets a military funeral, he does not deserve it! Somebody needs to come to that funeral when it happens, and tell what he was REALLY like!”
I called the SW at the hospice, told her what happened, and I expressed fear that this woman might make her milquetoast husband go down there, as my cousin’s brother, and take him out of the hospice and throw him out on the street. She assured me that cannot happen, but I’m worried that without a power of attorney, him being his brother might trump me being his 2nd cousin. But she said everything will be OK. I just need to make sure that a) he stays safe in hospice, away from anyone who might want to harm him, and b) that he will have a funeral with full military honors. If I have to die making sure this happens, I will.
Here is another shocker: when my husband and I were first married, we had to go for marriage counseling during out 1st year, we had some issues to resolve. The counselor we’d gone to was a really nice guy, and we stayed friends with him over the years.
Anyway, one day two years ago, I was surfing the web when I found a story by him on a Holocaust history website…evidently he was a Belgian Jew who had escaped with his family from Belgium as the Nazis were advancing…they tried entering the USA but our country had immigrant quotas back then, so they went to the Philippines to wait things out until their quota number was called for the USA. But then, the Japanese invaded and took over, and threw everyone into internment camps.
They were finally liberated by the Americans in January 1945. I looked up his number and called him, to say I read his story online, and that I never knew that about his background! He told me that he would give anything to be able to meet one of those American soldiers who had liberated them when he was 10 yrs old…he wanted to say thank you. I said yes, that would be a great thing to happen. We then caught up on life since we last went to him for counseling, and I figured that was the end of that.
Well…after finding my cousin’s war record and medals, it clicked in my mind…my cousin is one of those soldiers that liberated this counselor we knew!
So, I got out the phone number for him, called him to let him know of the situation, and all he could say to me was, “Oh my God, Oh my God” over and over! He is going to go to the hospice to meet my cousin, and he has to go soon because they have given him only days to live.
I am just so absolutely freaked out over all of this…the way things all came together…and to think when I first got that call from the hospital, I asked God not to dump this on me so soon after my mother died, that there has to be someone else who can do it! But as it turned out, not only was I the only next of kin willing to be involved that they could even locate, but I’d had the experience of doing all this for my mother, plus I knew what to do to ensure the military funeral, and I was the only one who knew my counselor friend who has had it as a prayer all his life to be able to find and shake the hand of one of the US soldiers who liberated them that day in January, 1945.
I’d like to ask all of you to please keep him in prayer…he was basically rejected by his side of the family because he developed some emotional and other problems related to his combat duty, and it seems my late father was the only one in the family who would talk to him (Dad never rejected anybody!) He and my Dad were first cousins (he was the son of one of my Dad’s uncles.)
I spoke to his landlord, his social worker, his neighbors, and two sisters who he and his parents had helped raise after their father threw them out, and ALL of them had nothing but very high praise for him as a person and as a human being. I don’t know why his sister-in-law hates him so much, but it is truly her loss, IMO.
He only has a few days to live; last Friday when he entered hospice they told me he probably only had a week. He had a terrible life; his combat duty in the war ruined his mind and his life in so many ways, condemning him to live in a very bad area where he was taken advantage of.
I am determined that he will have honor in his death as a decorated veteran of World War Two…honor he never received in life from his part of the family.
My own mother died only 4 months ago, and she was also in hospice…pray for me if you will, that God continues giving me the strength to handle all of this.
