Sour faced Catholics

[Rae8]

How can people go to church and take communion week after week and leave church as sour faced and rude as when they entered? No light shines from them. If anything, one would think them atheist!

Coming from a protestant background, I am just not used to this and its a bit upsetting at times. I love the Catholic teachings and faith and have encountered far more sweet people. But have also seen and encountered far too many of these sour faced - downright rude - people who one would never even know to be a Christian from their actions and words.

I never encountered this in the Protestant church. Maybe its because Protestants read the bible more? I’m just trying to understand it. The protestants I knew, overall, just exuded joy and light. And yes, some Catholics do too. But sadly far too few.

( Or maybe its the Protestant music just puts them in a better mood. )

 

[EIF5A]

How can people go to church and take communion week after week and leave church as sour faced and rude as when they entered? No light shines from them. If anything, one would think them atheist!

Coming from a protestant background, I am just not used to this and its a bit upsetting at times. I love the Catholic teachings and faith and have encountered far more sweet people. But have also seen and encountered far too many of these sour faced - downright rude - people who one would never even know to be a Christian from their actions and words.

I never encountered this in the Protestant church. Maybe its because Protestants read the bible more? I’m just trying to understand it. The protestants I knew, overall, just exuded joy and light. And yes, some Catholics do too. But sadly far too few.

( Or maybe its the Protestant music just puts them in a better mood. )

I think some people just have a natural facial expression that appears to be sour…but they might just have lots of things on their minds and not be aware of their immediate surroundings.

(Is there a reason this is in the Traditional Catholic forum?)

And I’m not sure what reading the Bible (more) has to do with this…

 

[InNomineDomini]

I never encountered this in the Protestant church.

This is a difficult subject. People, in my view, “act” Christian most when confronted with suffering and evil. Being in a “good mood” or consistently smiling widely are not necessarily signs that one is deeply touched by God. I’ve definitely met others who are outwardly friendly and nice and smiling, but who have gravely immoral personal lives, and who engage in all sorts of activities which shouldn’t be discussed in polite company.

My own parish has lots and lots of very lovely people, and with regard to some of the folks I’ve met, well, I would certainly say that I “feel” the Holy Spirit in their words and actions and mannerisms.

But the problem is in approaching all of this from the perspective of feelings and emotions. Spirituality is not necessarily an emotion.

Moreover, I’ve also met Protestants in “Charismatic” or even “Word of Faith” churches whom I don’t consider to be spiritual based on their behaviour, but merely extroverted and often very friendly, if not just a touch too much.

For people who are shy, it can be considered rude for someone to be extremely talkative and to ask a lot of personal questions and to generally behave like an old friend to everyone whom they’ve just met. Not everyone likes that type of person, either, or they may distrust them: being “too nice” often comes across as something fake and a sort of pose.

Facial expressions, as good as we genuinely are at reading minds, shouldn’t be used to judge the inner life of a person, or how close they are to God.

Besides, anyone who genuinely leaves Mass without having any conversion of heart simply deserves our prayers, not our condemnation or snobbery.

 

[Rae8]

I think some people just have a natural facial expression that appears to be sour…but they might just have lots of things on their minds and not be aware of their immediate surroundings…

Many of “some people” I am referring to have been rude - its not just a facial expression.

(Is there a reason this is in the Traditional Catholic forum?)

Wasn’t sure where it should go, forum master please feel free to move if need be.

And I’m not sure what reading the Bible (more) has to do with this…

Well, Protestants are not like that and they read the bible more. Since I am trying to understand why this difference exists I think its a legitimate question in trying to understand. I imagine a lot of members here may take offense at this - not having experienced a protestant background, many would not know there is such a difference.

 

[InNomineDomini]

Well, Protestants are not like that and they read the bible more.

Many of the conservative Reformed churches, for example, are hardly as what you seem to have encountered in other Protestant communities, in terms of “niceness.” Likewise, folks attending highly liberal Presbyterian churches can be precisely as you describe – nice and smiling and welcoming and ever so warm – but yet wouldn’t even begin to consider Scripture to be anything remotely approaching inerrant or even divine.

Rather than Biblical study, it would be more fair to describe your observations as being the result of the culture of particular faith communities. Some denominations encourage insulation more than others.

 

[Allegra]

I’m going to do what I almost never do…and pull the “don’t judge” card. Really though, when we see someone who appears to be unhappy, aren’t we supposed to be kind and compassionate to them instead of calling them “unChristian” because they don’t slap on a cheerful mug? And what exactly is rude about a somber disposition anyway? For all you know, they could be suffering terrible pain and have drug themselves to Mass with the hope of some measure of comfort in the Eucharist. Anytime you spend Mass taking the inventory of your fellow parishoners, are you really seeing Jesus in them?

 

[TK421]

I dunno. In my anecdotal experience, you are passively socially pressured into wearing a gaping smile within many protestant denominations, particular the more casual ones. The expressions at Mass (at least the one I’m going to) are more akin to the normal expression of a human being. A fairly blank expression is the normal, comfortable, default expression of a human being. You normally smile whenever you hear something amusing or receive a compliment.

I suppose some parishes may risk swinging to the other end of the pendulum and being unusually cold, but it’s not something I personally have much of an issue with. I’m a black coffee kind of guy. Maybe you just landed in an overly icy parish. Every one is going to be a little different.

 

[Rae8]

Some denominations encourage insulation more than others.

I have never attended a church that encouraged “insulation” as most are encouraged to live by good example and to bring others to the faith. You aren’t saying that Catholicism encourages “insulation” are you?

I understand the reason for avoiding idle chatter as its spoken of in Imitation of Christ - however - it would seem that showing respect for other people should also hold some value. You can be charitable and kind without a lot of words. A small smile can go a long way. Its a matter of showing kindness and love.

 

[anonymous_in_fl]

Gosh, my parish sure isn’t like that.
We are a joyful bunch! Lots of smiles, laughter, politeness ---- including our priests!
Maybe check out a different parish?

 

[Rae8]

Gosh, my parish sure isn’t like that.
We are a joyful bunch! Lots of smiles, laughter, politeness ---- including our priests!
Maybe check out a different parish?

You are blessed.

 

[RPRPsych]

You are passively socially pressured into wearing a gaping smile within many protestant denominations, particular the more casual ones. The expressions at Mass (at least the one I’m going to) are more akin to the normal expression of a human being. A fairly blank expression is the normal, comfortable, default expression of a human being. You normally smile whenever you hear something amusing or receive a compliment.

True, a lot of the more moderate-to-liberal Protestant denominations are “Smile! Be happy! Jesus LOVES you! You must LOVE everyone! If you frown, you are unsaved!”

(Okay, a bit of hyperbole there, but my point still stands.)

 

[Rae8]

True, a lot of the more moderate-to-liberal Protestant denominations are “Smile! Be happy! Jesus LOVES you! You must LOVE everyone! If you frown, you are unsaved!”

(Okay, a bit of hyperbole there, but my point still stands.)

Well, if you FEEL that way - full of love and joy, you are truly blessed are you not?

If you don’t feel that way - knowing what we know, having the love of Christ in us, how - why can we not be joyful? I just don’t understand it. Something seems to be missing there.

 

[RPRPsych]

Well, if you FEEL that way - full of love and joy, you are truly blessed are you not?

If you don’t feel that way - knowing what we know, having the love of Christ in us, how - why can we not be joyful? I just don’t understand it. Something seems to be missing there.

But I’ve also seen a case where a woman who was grieving (over a lost child) was berated by her Protestant parents, and told that it was wrong to cry “because Jesus wants us to be happy all the time.”

Here’s a nice story which addresses this theme, and shows that “eternal cheerfulness” isn’t such a great idea:

cse.dmu.ac.uk/~mward/gkc/books/innocence/3tools.html

 

[VivienneJ]

Well, Protestants are not like that and they read the bible more. Since I am trying to understand why this difference exists I think its a legitimate question in trying to understand. I imagine a lot of members here may take offense at this - not having experienced a protestant background, many would not know there is such a difference.

If we’re going to rely on somewhat anecdotal evidence: in a so called happy Protestant church I was totally ignored when I, a new parishioner, sobbed my way through 3 consecutive Sunday services and the priest there KNEW my circumstances and did nothing to help me. A different happy Protestant church a few years later, oh yes, they all smiled, but reach out to my severely depressed, sometimes suicidal daughter, oh, if she would just smile more she’d be better. I have spent more years in Protestant churches - a few different denominations - than I have in the Catholic Church. The Catholic folks are neither more or less happy and smiling, or more or less sour faced than the Protestants. It’ snot a Catholic/Protestant thing, just the way all we fallen people are. Some days I find smiling easier than others. Some days I’m just preoccupied and maybe don’t notice all the people around me.

True, a lot of the more moderate-to-liberal Protestant denominations are “Smile! Be happy! Jesus LOVES you! You must LOVE everyone! If you frown, you are unsaved!”

(Okay, a bit of hyperbole there, but my point still stands.)

But, this ^ is so very true in too many cases, so if you have any real problem that makes smiling difficult or even impossible you feel so lonely.

 

[Rae8]

But I’ve also seen a case where a woman who was grieving (over a lost child) was berated by her Protestant parents, and told that it was wrong to cry “because Jesus wants us to be happy all the time.”

Here’s a nice story which addresses this theme, and shows that “eternal cheerfulness” isn’t such a great idea:

cse.dmu.ac.uk/~mward/gkc/books/innocence/3tools.html

Well l’ve never seen such a thing. There are a lot of kooky beliefs I suppose.

 

[marywarfield]

Many of “some people” I am referring to have been rude - its not just a facial expression.

Wasn’t sure where it should go, forum master please feel free to move if need be.

Well, Protestants are not like that and they read the bible more. Since I am trying to understand why this difference exists I think its a legitimate question in trying to understand. I imagine a lot of members here may take offense at this - not having experienced a protestant background, many would not know there is such a difference.

Well not sure but perhaps Protestants not having just
received the Living Presence of Christ within are
looking for companionship and someone to commune
with rather than being focused on Jesus they just
received into their hearts.
I know it is not uncommon for Catholics to remain
conversing alone with Christ after Mass has been
well over for thirty minutes.
For my own part I can smile wave and gossip with
the people around me anytime but I only have the direct
opportunity with Jesus once a day for a very short
period of time.

 

[VivienneJ]

Well, if you FEEL that way - full of love and joy, you are truly blessed are you not?

If you don’t feel that way - knowing what we know, having the love of Christ in us, how - why can we not be joyful? I just don’t understand it. Something seems to be missing there.

But I’ve also seen a case where a woman who was grieving (over a lost child) was berated by her Protestant parents, and told that it was wrong to cry “because Jesus wants us to be happy all the time.”

Here’s a nice story which addresses this theme, and shows that “eternal cheerfulness” isn’t such a great idea:

cse.dmu.ac.uk/~mward/gkc/books/innocence/3tools.html

Well l’ve never seen such a thing. There are a lot of kooky beliefs I suppose.

This is the sort of thing I was talking about. Knowing I have ‘the love of Christ in me’ does not take away the pain of the bereavement I have suffered, or my anxiety at the illness of a loved one, or my loneliness far from family, or my pounding headache, or the pain from the operation I had, or my exhaustion after yet another night of broken sleep…or any of the other things that can rob us of joy, even while we cling to the love of Christ to keep going.

 

[RPRPsych]

This is the sort of thing I was talking about. Knowing I have ‘the love of Christ in me’ does not take away the pain of the bereavement I have suffered, or my anxiety at the illness of a loved one, or my loneliness far from family, or my pounding headache, or the pain from the operation I had, or my exhaustion after yet another night of broken sleep…or any of the other things that can rob us of joy, even while we cling to the love of Christ to keep going.

Very well said.

 

[ProVobis]

How can people go to church and take communion week after week and leave church as sour faced and rude as when they entered? No light shines from them. If anything, one would think them atheist!

Coming from a protestant background, I am just not used to this and its a bit upsetting at times. I love the Catholic teachings and faith and have encountered far more sweet people. But have also seen and encountered far too many of these sour faced - downright rude - people who one would never even know to be a Christian from their actions and words.

I never encountered this in the Protestant church. Maybe its because Protestants read the bible more? I’m just trying to understand it. The protestants I knew, overall, just exuded joy and light. And yes, some Catholics do too. But sadly far too few.

( Or maybe its the Protestant music just puts them in a better mood. )

Just a guess on my part, but maybe having the OBLIGATION to attend makes a big difference in attitude and behavior?

 

[TK421]

^

Eh. I think there are relatively few Catholics in the US in the 21st century that begrudgingly attend Mass because of the moral obligation to do so, excluding teenagers in Catholic homes. Not to say that apathy might not be pervasive, but the ones that don’t want to be there aren’t there.