Sour faced Catholics

[SAVINGRACE]

I don’t know about anyone else here but my parish is the most joyful parish I have been too.

I’m a 3yo Catholic and have had 3 different parishes. All were good in their own unique ways.

My current parish (50-80 regulars) is joyful in that everyone is greeted/farewelled by Fr Brian and/or parish council members with broad smiles before Mass. We all chat and catch up for a few minutes after Mass with coffee/tea and cake. Our Priest is a lovely, smiling and very approachable person. We all know each other by name and meet regularly at Parish events.

I didn’t know anyone when I turned up 3 months ago after moving from the city to a regional town. I felt welcomed from the first moment.

It’s what we make it, we create the kind of community parish we need. If we all welcome each other with a smile and get actively involved in our Parish life, our spiritual lives will be greatly enriched.

We are called to be joyful even in suffering.

 

[seaton2005]

In Protestant churches there aren’t any sacraments. So you are sort of left to discern if you are “really connecting” with God based on your own feelings. When one first converts toward Jesus (even cradle Catholics will often have a “conversion” moment where they realize the Truth of Christ) it is most often associated with a feeling of great joy and happiness.

I think many people who are without the Sacraments try to continually have that same sort of emotional high. I think they use whatever feeling they are having to determine their interaction with God. Thus at Protestant churches you are more likely to run in to very upbeat music, perhaps dancing, clapping hands, big smiles, lots of excitement, big energy, etc. If you’ve ever been a salesperson, they have meetings where they try to pump you up and get you ready to go out and make sales in a very similar fashion.

When a person has the Sacraments they can be assured of their relationship with God regardless of their emotional state. In fact often times, in my experience, some of the greatest spiritual progress is associated with some very unpleasant feelings.

Another thing to consider is that people who are suffering horribly often go in search of God. They are able to receive great consolation from God but are still suffering and therefore are likely to be a bit crabby.

Perhaps the sour faced person you see is currently contemplating Christ’s passion? Contemplating their own sinfullness? Contemplating their recently deceased love one?
There is a much wider range of emotions one is expected to have in Catholicism.

I am sorry for your feelings of being unwelcomed and you not being treated well. When in doubt assume that they are simply in need of your prayers and your love. And above all be there to greet other newcomers like yourself with a warm smile

Goodness, are you saying that Protestants haven’t converted toward Jesus? Or are you referring to when someone converts to the Catholic faith tradition. I believe both Protestants and Catholics are very much about Jesus.

 

[Pablopedro]

Goodness, are you saying that Protestants haven’t converted toward Jesus? Or are you referring to when someone converts to the Catholic faith tradition. I believe both Protestants and Catholics are very much about Jesus.

I’m saying people will try to hold on to that initial feeling that comes with conversion. Especially if that emotion is how they gauge interaction with God.

 

[kate_jackson]

In my opinion…I wasnt raised as a Catholic nor a christian…I have been to c of e, baptist,free church and now confirmed Catholic…I am glad and am eternally thankful as It is all about receiving the Eucharist and not being in a club or having a social time. In the Catholic church my impression of the congregation is humility not a popularity club or the culture of self elevation in a ministry.

 

[peace2u2]

How can people go to church and take communion week after week and leave church as sour faced and rude as when they entered? No light shines from them. If anything, one would think them atheist!

Coming from a protestant background, I am just not used to this and its a bit upsetting at times. I love the Catholic teachings and faith and have encountered far more sweet people. But have also seen and encountered far too many of these sour faced - downright rude - people who one would never even know to be a Christian from their actions and words.

I never encountered this in the Protestant church. Maybe its because Protestants read the bible more? I’m just trying to understand it. The protestants I knew, overall, just exuded joy and light. And yes, some Catholics do too. But sadly far too few.

( Or maybe its the Protestant music just puts them in a better mood. )

Aren’t we suppose to be going to church to praise God our Father and thank Him for the most incredible gift ever - - the gift of Himself and pray for those around us instead of judging them?

Why are you going to church judging the facial expressions of those around you and the intentions of their hearts? Perhaps it is your own heart that needs to be looked at?

The Church is a hospital for sinners - and besides find me a church that is perfect??? Jesus protects His Church not from sinners but from errors in truth and morals. So I guess if you think you are perfect perhaps your in the wrong place - spiritually.

 

[peace2u2]

• shrugs *
  I find it amazing that people still join the Catholic Church with all the scandals, problems, and rudeness going on before, during and after mass. Christ doesn’t seem to mind.

Why would He mind? He didn’t come to save the righteous? He came to save the sinners! And we are all sinners, some greater sinners than others.

Why is it when Catholics do acts of mercy were critized for trying to “earn” Heaven yet when we back off from ministry for whatever reason, were not bearing fruit??? Its like damned if we do and damned it don’t!

Maybe we should just stop judging each other and start praying for each other.

 

[giuseppeTO]

Part of the answer may be in the different origins of Catholic vs. protestant worship. I am generalizing here, I admit, but Protestants gather to “fellowship” as part of their service, high church Protestants excluded. The intermingling and dialogue is part of the worship.

The Catholic Mass, however, is the un-bloody reenactment of Christ’s sacrifice on the cross. It is the celebration of the Sacred Mysteries and a sublime miracle takes place during the Consecration where the actual Body, Blood, Soul, and Divinity of Christ is confected on the altar by the priest. Throughout the ages, that sublimity has formed the character of Catholics at Mass.

This of course does not justify rudeness or sourness. The fellowship that Catholics partake in is usually concentrated outside of the Mass, in social gatherings afterwards, etc.

The Second Vatican Council tried to incorporate that “fellowship” into the New Mass with mixed results. But that might give you some insight into the difference between Catholic and Protestants on Sunday.

 

[Immorrtalmortal]

When I was little I was always being told “keep quiet, stop smiling all the time. No one’s that happy all the time. Only bad people smile and laugh like that.” Now I have those same people complaining that I never seem to smile, I never talk, What’s wrong? Can’t you get over (pick any bad thing we all go through) it? Talk about not doing anything right no matter what you do. It gets very frustrating, very quickly. Sometimes back when people would complain about my smiling or laughing all the time I wanted so much to ask those people if they’d be happy if instead I just gave up a cried, like I felt inside. Sometimes we wear masks to protect ourselves as well as the others around us. It’d be nice if others could think about that next time they feel someone isn’t doing enough (or doing it too much) smiling, chatting or whatever. :sad_yes::nope::bounce::whacky::juggle::getholy::angel1:

 

[HollyDolly]

Listen,it cuts across all faiths.Every group,Protestant;Catholic;Orthodox;Buddhist’Muslim;Hindu etc.It’s just the way some people are period.Some are joyful and kind and helpful,even non christians.Then you have people of all faiths who are complete buzzards if you know what I mean.
Sometimes when I meet people like that i fell like saying Who used the bathroom in your messkit. Of course my retired airforce father wouldn’t have put it so politely.He would have used more colorful military language of the old days.
Offer it up to Jesus is all you can do;and ask the Holy Spirit to help them see the light.

 

[Monica4316]

How can people go to church and take communion week after week and leave church as sour faced and rude as when they entered? No light shines from them. If anything, one would think them atheist!

Coming from a protestant background, I am just not used to this and its a bit upsetting at times. I love the Catholic teachings and faith and have encountered far more sweet people. But have also seen and encountered far too many of these sour faced - downright rude - people who one would never even know to be a Christian from their actions and words.

I never encountered this in the Protestant church. Maybe its because Protestants read the bible more? I’m just trying to understand it. The protestants I knew, overall, just exuded joy and light. And yes, some Catholics do too. But sadly far too few.

( Or maybe its the Protestant music just puts them in a better mood. )

I find that there’s more ‘variety’ of people in the Catholic Church… Protestants don’t have a ‘Sunday obligation’ so maybe only the devoted ones actually go. They tend to try to follow the teachings in the Bible more, about being charitable to others, for example, and they are more dedicated to prayer which helps a lot. In the Catholic Church, you get different people, some want to be there, some don’t want to be there, some are struggling with things yet still come, etc, - however, it’s good they are there so they can grow it’s important however, to have good dispositions in order to truly benefit from the Sacraments - the grace we receive there needs to be actually accepted, as God doesn’t force anything on us.

Also, sometimes people are less ‘sociable’ because they are quieter, they wouldn’t be rude or gloomy, but just more quiet and less willing to talk after Mass etc. I’m one of those people I think, I’m kind of shy and I try to be nice to people rather than rude, but I’m not extremely outgoing either.

God bless

 

[Monica4316]

I also agree with those who said that there’s less pressure in the Catholic churches to appear happy or outgoing… I’ve been Protestant and people do try to be really outgoing, but that’s sort of a culture, I don’t know. In the Catholic Churches, I see people praying and in church if they’re going through something, or upset, or there are times I’ve come to church really sad about something and I just wanted to be with Our Lord, and not really talk to anyone. I don’t know… I think there’s a difference in expectation too.

 

[bubbawanda]

When I was little I was always being told “keep quiet, stop smiling all the time. No one’s that happy all the time. Only bad people smile and laugh like that.” Now I have those same people complaining that I never seem to smile, I never talk, What’s wrong? Can’t you get over (pick any bad thing we all go through) it? Talk about not doing anything right no matter what you do. It gets very frustrating, very quickly. Sometimes back when people would complain about my smiling or laughing all the time I wanted so much to ask those people if they’d be happy if instead I just gave up a cried, like I felt inside. Sometimes we wear masks to protect ourselves as well as the others around us. It’d be nice if others could think about that next time they feel someone isn’t doing enough (or doing it too much) smiling, chatting or whatever.

Ok now thats just plain bullying. For myself I probably dont have a big grin when i show up tochurch but then again if its too early in the morning i didnt show up for Mass anyway. Im just not awake at the ungodly hour of 9am! Saturday nite service is more my speed. I would tell these jerks to get a life. And maybe get a veil big enough to hide under?

 

[bubbawanda]

When I was little I was always being told “keep quiet, stop smiling all the time. No one’s that happy all the time. Only bad people smile and laugh like that.” Now I have those same people complaining that I never seem to smile, I never talk, What’s wrong? Can’t you get over (pick any bad thing we all go through) it? Talk about not doing anything right no matter what you do. It gets very frustrating, very quickly. Sometimes back when people would complain about my smiling or laughing all the time I wanted so much to ask those people if they’d be happy if instead I just gave up a cried, like I felt inside. Sometimes we wear masks to protect ourselves as well as the others around us. It’d be nice if others could think about that next time they feel someone isn’t doing enough (or doing it too much) smiling, chatting or whatever.

Ok now thats just plain bullying. For myself I probably dont have a big grin when i show up tochurch but then again if its too early in the morning i didnt show up for Mass anyway. Im just not awake at the ungodly hour of 9am! Saturday nite service is more my speed. I would tell these jerks to get a life. And maybe get a veil big enough to hide under?

 

[peace2u2]

I also agree with those who said that there’s less pressure in the Catholic churches to appear happy or outgoing… I’ve been Protestant and people do try to be really outgoing, but that’s sort of a culture,*** I don’t know. In the Catholic Churches, I see people praying and in church if they’re going through something, or upset, or there are times I’ve come to church really sad about something and I just wanted to be with Our Lord,*** and not really talk to anyone. I don’t know… I think there’s a difference in expectation too.

I remember a few years back, a family lost their 19 year old son in a tragic car accident. Three days after the accident, the entire family showed up for Mass to draw on strength from Jesus. That was a powerful witness to faith. We are quiet at Mass because it is there that we pour out our entire self to God and ask Him to heal us, forgive us or just to sit in His Presence. If we are busy being busy, talking, eating and dancing, we can’t hear Him speak to us.

1 Kings 19:11-13
The Lord said, “Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the Lord, for the Lord is about to pass by.”

Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake.

After the earthquake came a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper.

When Elijah heard it, he pulled his cloak over his face and went out and stood at the mouth of the cave.

Then a voice said to him, “What are you doing here, Elijah?”

 

[kate_jackson]

I remember a few years back, a family lost their 19 year old son in a tragic car accident. Three days after the accident, the entire family showed up for Mass to draw on strength from Jesus. That was a powerful witness to faith. We are quiet at Mass because it is there that we pour out our entire self to God and ask Him to heal us, forgive us or just to sit in His Presence. If we are busy being busy, talking, eating and dancing, we can’t hear Him speak to us.

1 Kings 19:11-13
The Lord said, “Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the Lord, for the Lord is about to pass by.”

Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake.

After the earthquake came a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper.

When Elijah heard it, he pulled his cloak over his face and went out and stood at the mouth of the cave.

Then a voice said to him, “What are you doing here, Elijah?”

I agree…we are there to receive the eucharist not to be in a club or popularity contest.

 

[bubbawanda]

I agree…we are there to receive the eucharist not to be in a club or popularity contest.

Its good to be awake enough to do that! Yaay night service!!

 

[JustaServant]

I look at it this way.
Worship, as Catholics understand it, could be termed a “spiritual exercise”. It’s not sitting and staring, it is actively participating.
Like physical exercise, are we always smiling when we are engaged in it?
Maybe a bad analogy, but you get the point.

As for “sour faced”, I’ve encountered more “sour faced” Baptists when I was across the Tiber than Catholic.

 

[HelenRose]

When I was little I was always being told “keep quiet, stop smiling all the time. No one’s that happy all the time. Only bad people smile and laugh like that.” Now I have those same people complaining that I never seem to smile, I never talk, What’s wrong? Can’t you get over (pick any bad thing we all go through) it? Talk about not doing anything right no matter what you do. It gets very frustrating, very quickly. Sometimes back when people would complain about my smiling or laughing all the time I wanted so much to ask those people if they’d be happy if instead I just gave up a cried, like I felt inside. Sometimes we wear masks to protect ourselves as well as the others around us. It’d be nice if others could think about that next time they feel someone isn’t doing enough (or doing it too much) smiling, chatting or whatever. :sad_yes::nope::bounce::whacky::juggle::getholy::angel1:

I am so sorry that this was your experience in life. That would be a very difficult thing to overcome.

 

[Brendan_64]

Mass isn’t primarily a social event. It may be nice to meet friends their and have a chat afterwards, but that is not the reason to go to Mass. I don’t get the, “Why aren’t people smiling enough?” thing. Why would someone be concerned if another person isn’t smiling? Are we meant to put on a smile in order to telegraph, to others, how we are feeling? We go to Mass to encounter Christ, not to engage in a community social event.

 

[khmsct99]

My church has many rude people, and I currently attend a Baptist Church (thinking of becoming Catholic in the future though) and they are on Facebook a lot of times, and they photos of them drinking and hugging and kissing other people, when they are married and the spouse is nowhere to be seen. Then they go to church and act like they are either 1. The most religious person in the world or 2. They act like they are about to go to sleep and sometimes they stay in the cafe and gossip to others about the night before or Friday nights or something.