Speaking out against contraceptives

[christmary4ever]

Blessings:
-they get to work with their spouse in understanding the amazing gift of fertility He gave to us, instead of treating it as a disease that needs to be managed through chemicals or other means.
-they get to unite themselves with their spouse in a manner that those using ABC don’t- namely, they get to give themselves entirely to their spouses, and receive all of their spouse in return. ABC, by its very nature, makes it impossible for two to truly become one

Disadvantages to ABC:

• chemical BC is an abortifacient, as well as carrying with it a whole slew of other problematic side effects
• the marital embrace, and by extention, the spouse, is now reduced to nothing more than the pursuit of pleasure. The spouse is now rendered a means to achieve that pleasure
• Humanae Vitae has a whole list of things that would follow increased use of ABC- among them divorce, abortion, infidelity.

How can we explain to people without using theology. for
people who are sadly non christians?

 

[connorcream]

I am 50 years old and was married in the Catholic Church in 1982, after six months of classes with our parish priest. During those months of classes, birth control was only discussed briefly and in very vague terms, with a passing mention of Natural Family Planning. We were never taught that contraception was a mortal sin, nor were we taught that NFP was the only option if we wanted to prevent pregnancy. During my school years, I attended 11 years of CCD classes; and there again, we were never taught that artificial birth control was a mortal sin.**

I was married in 1981, attended Catholic Schools for 13 yrs and had the same dismal teaching you had. Additionally we had a horrendous spiritual director, our pastor, who said that in our case, both in grad school, he had pastoral priviledge of dispensing this teaching.

The difference between you and I was I knew the Church taught Truth and I kept learning my Faith as an adult. Then in the 80’s marvelous vehicles of instruction came out- The Catholic Answer, EWTN, and most importantly JPII. Then there was a floodgate of information. Honestly, within the last 15 yrs there isn’t any reason why a Catholic doesn’t know this pivotal, unchangeable, non negotiable teaching. “Man made” remarks are flippant retorts. And receiving the Sacrament while committing in a grave sin is sacriligous.

I thank the dear Lord for not letting the horrible side effects of ABC damage our marriage or my my health. Sin destroys whether one realizes it or not.
connorcream
Married 27 yrs, 7 children, 1 grand child

 

[christmary4ever]

Excuse me, but you know nothing about our consience or our relationship with God. To say otherwise is simply untrue. Did you actually read your words before you posted?

You are right. Only God knows someones conscience.
However your conscience is not reliable because you overide it
by disobedience to the clear teaching of the church. Not to
mention the natural law. Feeling Good is not a guarantee that
you are in peace with God. If Everything Evil feels bad then
everyone will reject it. Contraception is intrinsically evil because
they interfere with God’s design. You are practicing relativism
meaning that whatever your concept of truth is ok with God.

 

[Priscilla_Ann]

I am 50 years old and was married in the Catholic Church in 1982, after six months of classes with our parish priest. During those months of classes, birth control was only discussed briefly and in very vague terms, with a passing mention of Natural Family Planning. We were never taught that contraception was a mortal sin, nor were we taught that NFP was the only option if we wanted to prevent pregnancy. During my school years, I attended 11 years of CCD classes; and there again, we were never taught that artificial birth control was a mortal sin.**

I was married in 1981, attended Catholic Schools for 13 yrs and had the same dismal teaching you had. Additionally we had a horrendous spiritual director, our pastor, who said that in our case, both in grad school, he had pastoral priviledge of dispensing this teaching.

The difference between you and I was I knew the Church taught Truth and I kept learning my Faith as an adult. Then in the 80’s marvelous vehicles of instruction came out- The Catholic Answer, EWTN, and most importantly JPII. Then there was a floodgate of information. Honestly, within the last 15 yrs there isn’t any reason why a Catholic doesn’t know this pivotal, unchangeable, non negotiable teaching. “Man made” remarks are flippant retorts. And receiving the Sacrament while committing in a grave sin is sacriligous.

I thank the dear Lord for not letting the horrible side effects of ABC damage our marriage or my my health. Sin destroys whether one realizes it or not.
connorcream
Married 27 yrs, 7 children, 1 grand child

We never had any “horrible side effects of ABC”…not to my health or our marriage. We were just trying to do the right thing, and did the best we could at the time. Not trying to be flippant…just honest…

 

[Shannon9791]

As a former state investigator of STDs, I can say that I’ve probably told hundreds of people to use contraceptives. I always felt conflicted in doing this, because I knew of the Church’s teachings, but my job was to prevent STDs, and like it or not, people are having sex, lots and lots of sex. While I agree with the Church’s teaching about contraceptives, I can give numerous stories from personal experience where the use of a condom has literaly saved someone’s life.

I don’t think speaking out against contraception is what needs to be done. After dealing with prostitutes and drug users and the 14 year old girl with two kids and an STD file the size of a decent city’s phone book (very unfortunate true story), I can attest to their effectiveness when used properly. Or the man who cheated on his wife, contracted HIV, and has since had to use condoms while having sex with his wife or she will DIE. It’s not her fault her husband decided to cheat on her, why should she be given a death sentence for his wrong-doings?

I think that changing the behaviors that would cause someone to use them is the more appropriate discussion. Again, I agree with the Church’s teachings on contraceptives, but in many cases their use can be…understood.

 

[wanner47]

As a former state investigator of STDs, I can say that I’ve probably told hundreds of people to use contraceptives. I always felt conflicted in doing this, because I knew of the Church’s teachings, but my job was to prevent STDs, and like it or not, people are having sex, lots and lots of sex. While I agree with the Church’s teaching about contraceptives, I can give numerous stories from personal experience where the use of a condom has literaly saved someone’s life.

I don’t think speaking out against contraception is what needs to be done. After dealing with prostitutes and drug users and the 14 year old girl with two kids and an STD file the size of a decent city’s phone book (very unfortunate true story), I can attest to their effectiveness when used properly. Or the man who cheated on his wife, contracted HIV, and has since had to use condoms while having sex with his wife or she will DIE. It’s not her fault her husband decided to cheat on her, why should she be given a death sentence for his wrong-doings?

I think that changing the behaviors that would cause someone to use them is the more appropriate discussion. Again, I agree with the Church’s teachings on contraceptives, but in many cases their use can be…understood.

Abstinence would work even MORE effectively in every case you mention. It sounds like the people described above weren’t being forced to have sex.

 

[Shannon9791]

Abstinence would work even MORE effectively in every case you mention. It sounds like the people described above weren’t being forced to have sex.

You can’t tell a married man and woman never to have sex again. You can’t tell someone who only knows how to have sex (in the case of the 14 year old) to abstain. That’s how she found her acceptance, as sad as is, we all know that for some people, that’s reality. And it didn’t matter what I said, it was quite obvious abstinence wasn’t being practiced by anyone. I had to leave the job because of the conflict of interest I faced daily. And you’re right, no one I described was being forced to have sex, but they were having sex at a rate so alarming it would make your head spin. That’s why I said we shouldn’t be discussing contraceptives, we all know why they’re wrong. We should be discussing ways to help people stop behaviors that include the use of contraceptives.

 

[BSHoop96]

You can’t tell a married man and woman never to have sex again. You can’t tell someone who only knows how to have sex (in the case of the 14 year old) to abstain. That’s how she found her acceptance, as sad as is, we all know that for some people, that’s reality. And it didn’t matter what I said, it was quite obvious abstinence wasn’t being practiced by anyone. I had to leave the job because of the conflict of interest I faced daily. And you’re right, no one I described was being forced to have sex, but they were having sex at a rate so alarming it would make your head spin. That’s why I said we shouldn’t be discussing contraceptives, we all know why they’re wrong. We should be discussing ways to help people stop behaviors that include the use of contraceptives.

Shannon9191, what a difficult position for you to have been in and I understand. You know what people should be doing but you can’t make them do it. Many people on here will give advice which in a perfect world is great, and which you already voiced. But people like you who have to deal with the lost souls like the above mentioned 14 year old realize that there is no way she is going to suddenly abstain.

 

[wanner47]

You can’t tell a married man and woman never to have sex again. You can’t tell someone who only knows how to have sex (in the case of the 14 year old) to abstain.

Why not?

That’s how she found her acceptance, as sad as is, we all know that for some people, that’s reality.

That doesn’t make it right. If my reality was selling drugs to school children because that’s all I knew how to do, should I be allowed to continue?

And it didn’t matter what I said, it was quite obvious abstinence wasn’t being practiced by anyone. I had to leave the job because of the conflict of interest I faced daily. And you’re right, no one I described was being forced to have sex, but they were having sex at a rate so alarming it would make your head spin. That’s why I said we shouldn’t be discussing contraceptives, we all know why they’re wrong. We should be discussing ways to help people stop behaviors that include the use of contraceptives.

Agreed. But, IMO, part of the problem is that contraception is so readily available. It’s harder to stop the risky behavior if you’re continually told (by PP and other organizations) there’s a consequence-free way to engage in it.

 

[Shannon9791]

Why not?

That doesn’t make it right. If my reality was selling drugs to school children because that’s all I knew how to do, should I be allowed to continue?

Agreed. But, IMO, part of the problem is that contraception is so readily available. It’s harder to stop the risky behavior if you’re continually told (by PP and other organizations) there’s a consequence-free way to engage in it.

I never said that girl’s actions were right or wrong, I simply said that’s how she finds her acceptance in life. Ask any psychologist/preist/knowledgable person and they will tell you that a human being’s number one need is acceptance. That’s how she survives, how she can feel loved. It’s the saddest reality in our world, but it’s just that, reality. And if you’re selling drugs to kids, or anyone for that matter, you’re not doing it for acceptance (maybe on some levels, yes) but most probably you’re selling drugs because you think it will make you some good money. That’s mostly the motivation for selling drugs.

Which one of my statements was the “Why Not” directed at? I don’t want to get into explaining one when you were talking about the other.

I do agree that the easy availability and Planned Parenthood throwing their agenda around is part of the problem. The sad thing is that PP does some really good things too. I can get into that in another post or another thread if you’d like. Somewhere along the way, though, I think they got their wires crossed. But here’s the thing, my young patient wasn’t using contraceptives, hence the 2 kids and multiple STDs, so we can’t say that is part of her problem. I gave her condoms numerous times, and almost inevitably, she would be back in the clinic 6 months later with a new infection.

Again, the problem that needs to be addressed isn’t solely contraceptives. I’m a big believer in personal accountability, but in some cases, one doesn’t have the faculties to be held accountable, such the case of my young patient. She knew no better than to have sex, and that’s not any contraceptives fault.

 

[M0nkey]

I simply said that’s how she finds her acceptance in life.

I’d hate to bud in, but I feel it needs to be mentioned. Our only acceptance is with Christ and Christ alone, not the world.

I understand the need to help this child from a humanitarian perspective, but at some point you need to stop carrying their cross and let them carry their own cross which is what Jesus said.

 

[Shannon9791]

I’d hate to bud in, but I feel it needs to be mentioned. Our only acceptance is with Christ and Christ alone, not the world.

I agree, but the world is where we live. Do you have friends, family, those who love you? You want to be in their good graces, right? That’s acceptance. The girl in question didn’t have that, so she sought the physical closeness of sex to fill that void.

I understand the need to help this child from a humanitarian perspective, but at some point you need to stop carrying their cross and let them carry their own cross which is what Jesus said.

I know we can’t help everybody, but in order to solve one problem, that of contraception, you have to begin by working on another problem, and that’s people having promiscuous sex. Until you get to the bottom of why people feel the need to do that, the contraception problem will always exist.

 

[newbetx]

As a former state investigator of STDs, I can say that I’ve probably told hundreds of people to use contraceptives. I always felt conflicted in doing this, because I knew of the Church’s teachings, but my job was to prevent STDs, and like it or not, people are having sex, lots and lots of sex. While I agree with the Church’s teaching about contraceptives, I can give numerous stories from personal experience where the use of a condom has literaly saved someone’s life.

I don’t think speaking out against contraception is what needs to be done. After dealing with prostitutes and drug users and the 14 year old girl with two kids and an STD file the size of a decent city’s phone book (very unfortunate true story), I can attest to their effectiveness when used properly. Or the man who cheated on his wife, contracted HIV, and has since had to use condoms while having sex with his wife or she will DIE. It’s not her fault her husband decided to cheat on her, why should she be given a death sentence for his wrong-doings?

I think that changing the behaviors that would cause someone to use them is the more appropriate discussion. Again, I agree with the Church’s teachings on contraceptives, but in many cases their use can be…understood.

Abstinence would work even MORE effectively in every case you mention. It sounds like the people described above weren’t being forced to have sex.

You can’t tell a married man and woman never to have sex again. You can’t tell someone who only knows how to have sex (in the case of the 14 year old) to abstain. That’s how she found her acceptance, as sad as is, we all know that for some people, that’s reality. And it didn’t matter what I said, it was quite obvious abstinence wasn’t being practiced by anyone. I had to leave the job because of the conflict of interest I faced daily. And you’re right, no one I described was being forced to have sex, but they were having sex at a rate so alarming it would make your head spin. That’s why I said we shouldn’t be discussing contraceptives, we all know why they’re wrong. We should be discussing ways to help people stop behaviors that include the use of contraceptives.

Well, I could tell the guy that he no longer deserves sex. But that would just be me (and a few others). Like herpes, eventually the woman will get HIV, too. Sex is a gift, not a right.

I agree with you that this is a broken world. Not that it’s been very good since the apple incident, but our world is getting worse IMO. While we want to limit peoples’ suffering, it will continue until they find the value of love and sex in their lives. Handing out condoms may fix a symptom, but it’s no cure.

While I agree that things are bad and speaking out against contraception may not work in the fringe cases, there are many cases where it will be effective.

As some say, contraception has made no apparent damage to them (in their opin and it may be true), it seems to adversly affect about half of the people out there in some way. We can see that the sexual revolution which is supported by contraception has made this country less of what it used to be. HV is correct. One can hunt for fringe cases all they want. The vast majority of people would be better off without ABC.