Special Spots

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Inquiringperson

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Is it normal that even if you stopped liking a person, you still have a special spot in your heart for them?
 
Inquiringperson said:
Is it normal that even if you stopped liking a person, you still have a special spot in your heart for them?
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Yes, I feel this way about my ex-husband’s family even though I do not feel that way about my ex.
 
Special spots = a food stain from that super dessert at the really cool dinner!

Special spots = a grease stain from fixing that broken thing.

😃
 
Inquiringperson said:
How about someone you were romantically involved with?
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Yes, and it’s normal. Not sure if it’s good. In my case those were women I liked a lot as people too, I saw in them things that surpassed narrow attraction. It’d be hard for that to die. And at any rate, I guess I’d have an inclination to go out of my way for them on some kind of protective/loyalty reflex.
 
A broken heart never goes away.

I still think about my ex occasionally despite the fact that the two of us have clearly moved on. We broke up almost 6 years ago.
He is married and I’m engaged to be married in another two months.

This special spot isn’t exactly a warm, fuzzy spot, but it’s still there.
 
Kelfa28 said:
A broken heart never goes away.

I still think about my ex occasionally despite the fact that the two of us have clearly moved on. We broke up almost 6 years ago.
He is married and I’m engaged to be married in another two months.

This special spot isn’t exactly a warm, fuzzy spot, but it’s still there.
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What exactly does it feel like?
 
I think its normal. But I also think that it is something that should never be mentioned to a current SO. Think about it, you wouldn’t want to know if your husband/wife still had a “special spot” for an ex. There’s nothing that either of you could do about it and it would just hurt you.
 
Inquiringperson said:
What exactly does it feel like?
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It doesn’t really feel like anything at this point but I know it’s still there. Kinda like a stain that you do almost everything to wash out. The spot gets smaller and less noticeable over time but it’s still there.

The thing is, this wasn’t a “like.” It was the only other man I’ve ever fallen in love with besides the man I’m getting married to. He wasn’t a crush but a full-blown relationship that lasted almost 2 years.

Crushes go away. I’m a personal advocate for cutting all ties with your exes if you want to move on to anyone else. I don’t think it’s possible to stay friends with an ex, but I guess that only counts for someone you’ve been intimate with.

If you stay chaste and wait until marriage, it’s so much easier to break up with someone you aren’t going to marry. This man was the only other person I gave myself to. Believe me, it hurt when we broke up. It screws up your rational thinking and makes you stay with someone longer then you should. It took me almost a year and a half to get over him, date again and feel comfortable with someone again. I found myself comparing guys to my ex, which is wrong! Don’t do that!

BTW…blueeyedlady hit the nail on the head.
Never mention you still feel something for your ex to anyone you are currently seeing. It’s never going to turn out well.
You’ll eventually let someone new know you’ve dated before but don’t bring up the details.

I know the details of my Fiance’s last relationship. Too many details. Suffice to say that hurts FAR more then anything an ex was for me. That feels like a hole being drilled through your heart.
 
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