Spillover from Contraception for difficult circumstances thread

[thewanderer]

Ok, since there is a debate about the morality of NFP threatening to overtake and derail another thread, I am starting a new one for those interested in continuing the conversation without derailing the original thread.

Originally Posted by thewanderer

I think you misunderstood my point. My point is that when the options are doing absolutely nothing (complete abstinance) or engaging in relations only while fertile (partial abstinance) nobody is going to choose the latter because it will give them a higher chance of avoiding pregnancy. In other words, it is the abstinance which is geared towarrds avoiding pregnancy not the sex. Does this help you understand the distinction I am making?

 

[ahs]

I was not following the other thread, but I’d to see if I understand your point correctly. Are you saying:

*Couples who use NFP are using it to avoid getting pregnant. But, on days that they DO have sex, they are NOT thinking, “if we have sex tonight (an infertile night), we won’t get pregnant”. They are NOT thinking, “since we don’t want to conceive, let’s have sex”. In reality what they are doing is engaging in the marital act, as they rightly should, and doing it in a manner which is ordered per se toward procreation and unification.

Instead, the driving force for NFP is, “tonight is a fertile night, so we will AVOID sex…we will abstain from sex tonight in order to avoid getting pregnant”.
*

Makes sense to me. When my wife an I use NFP and make use of the infertile times, we are thinking, “well, chances are low for conception, but we want to have sex so we are willing to take the risk, however low that risk may be”. (Not a direct quote from me or my wife, but a paraphrase, if you will. )

But during the fertile window, we are thinking, “since we want to avoid conception, we will abstain from sex tonight”.

 

[thewanderer]

I was not following the other thread, but I’d to see if I understand your point correctly. Are you saying:

Couples who use NFP are using it to avoid getting pregnant. But, on days that they DO have sex, they are NOT thinking, “if we have sex tonight (an infertile night), we won’t get pregnant”. They are NOT thinking, “since we don’t want to conceive, let’s have sex”. In reality what they are doing is engaging in the marital act, as they rightly should, and doing it in a manner which is ordered per se toward procreation and unification.

Instead, the driving force for NFP is, “tonight is a fertile night, so we will AVOID sex…we will abstain from sex tonight in order to avoid getting pregnant”.

Makes sense to me. When my wife an I use NFP and make use of the infertile times, we are thinking, “well, chances are low for conception, but we want to have sex so we are willing to take the risk, however low that risk may be”. (Not a direct quote from me or my wife, but a paraphrase, if you will. )

But during the fertile window, we are thinking, “since we want to avoid conception, we will abstain from sex tonight”.

Yup, that pretty much sums it up.