Spirit in Turmoil

[The_Catholic]

My soul is in absolute anguish right now, and I’m so engulfed in rage. It’s terrible, oh so terrible. This is the worst Good Friday I’ve ever experienced. It was a good, peaceful day until I came home. During the drive I was listening to the soundtrack Passion of the Christ, thinking about God, and was tearing up, weeping. I felt at peace though, and wanted to just come inside and watch the film. Instead, my wife got into ANOTHER fight with her mother, (we live on the same land, but different houses, it’s her father’s land and we’re here temperarily, but sometimes I wish we were’nt).

My wife was pretty upset, and even took a little bit of it out on me . . . AGAIN!!! We were all going to go a shrine tomorrow, attend confession, even for veinal sins, preparing ourselves for Resurrection Sunday. Well, now my wife isn’t going anywhere with her mom. I understand my wife’s anger and why she got upset, I don’t think we should stay here much longer. Nevertheless, I already suffer from excessive OCD, and going from one extreme spiritual high, directly into anger . . . again, on top of Obsessive thoughts and nightmares, and from looking forward to a blessful peaceful Easter weekend to daughter and mother now being angry with each other, has just brought me down rock hard. Seems everytime I begin to get closer to God something happens which brings turmoil in my spirit. I feel . . . so angry, enraged, frustrated, depressed, sad, I was to punch 30 holes in our walls

I’m sorry everyone, I’m not strong at all, and I feel worthless, pathetic, and just want to crawl into darkness. Either my sin or Satan seems to have dominated me again and I don’t know what to do. My complaint may seem little, but it feels like a cursed mountain load upon my chest.

 

[Sheeniac]

Can you ask them both separately to attempt to ignore their anger for a few hours so that you all can come closer to the Lord? Perhaps bring up that God would like to see an attempt at self-denial. The worst they can say is no.

I’d love to tell you to try to step back and be less emotionally involved in this (rage is a strong word), but it’s easy advice to give, but very difficult advise to follow.

Your family will be in my prayers tonight.

 

[ohioszo]

Next year, visit the shrine earlier during Lent. Our Penance Service is mid - Lent. By putting so much right before Easter, you have heightened the stress level. You felt it yourself, with your tears in the car. Your body needs to have religious events spread out, and interspersed with the responsibilities of life.

I know what I am talking about, for some things are going to happen at the last minute, and we need, as the Pope said in the Stations tonight, we need to be able to handle these surprises.

Christmas Eve, we had a sewer backup in the basement. Well, I cancelled Christmas Eve! It is a tight enough evening, without me being worn out with sewer cleanup! Not a popular decision perhaps.

Today, the battery was going dead in our car, because the interior lights were (probably) left on from the previous night. Why hadn’t I noticed that, and how many times can one discuss my failure to notice that! So the March through town was off for me, but, we did make it to the Passion for I caught a fellow parishioner dropping off a sleeping bag to a sleeping friend, and, my neighbor!

I have been rather joyful and that carries me through … having the gardens raked and somewhat tended, the floors swept and washed, etc., laundry done; had some food bought ahead and in the freezer. I even allowed myself to drink some wine palm sunday and have a few chocolates as compensation for the aggrandizements. Hey, I kept to the fasts, went to the stations, prayed in Adoration, talked to my fellow parishioners, went to confession … what is there to feel bad about! Yeah, I might be missing a little depth … I hope not!

People don’t always know that somethings which one may harp on during other seasons, are not helpful during Holy Week, but, it happens. I think it happens because some take certain religious times for granted rather than wanting to experience them deeply; praying and hoping for change in some situation in their lives. So why is my sister acting as if she has a chip on her shoulder about me, again!

I settled down tonight, after a great fish supper, hoping to watch the Stations from Rome, found that someone in my family was worried about something not working right, the remote, besides the fact that I was trying to do some genealogy along with the stations … I could do two things at once, but not three or four, I thought!

The meditations for the stations, written by someone from India, can be read online, and, they are beautiful and worthwhile.

God bless!

 

[The_Catholic]

Next year, visit the shrine earlier during Lent. Our Penance Service is mid - Lent. By putting so much right before Easter, you have heightened the stress level. You felt it yourself, with your tears in the car. Your body needs to have religious events spread out, and interspersed with the responsibilities of life.

I know what I am talking about, for some things are going to happen at the last minute, and we need, as the Pope said in the Stations tonight, we need to be able to handle these surprises.

Christmas Eve, we had a sewer backup in the basement. Well, I cancelled Christmas Eve! It is a tight enough evening, without me being worn out with sewer cleanup! Not a popular decision perhaps.

Today, the battery was going dead in our car, because the interior lights were (probably) left on from the previous night. Why hadn’t I noticed that, and how many times can one discuss my failure to notice that! So the March through town was off for me, but, we did make it to the Passion for I caught a fellow parishioner dropping off a sleeping bag to a sleeping friend, and, my neighbor!

I have been rather joyful and that carries me through … having the gardens raked and somewhat tended, the floors swept and washed, etc., laundry done; had some food bought ahead and in the freezer. I even allowed myself to drink some wine palm sunday and have a few chocolates as compensation for the aggrandizements. Hey, I kept to the fasts, went to the stations, prayed in Adoration, talked to my fellow parishioners, went to confession … what is there to feel bad about! Yeah, I might be missing a little depth … I hope not!

People don’t always know that somethings which one may harp on during other seasons, are not helpful during Holy Week, but, it happens. I think it happens because some take certain religious times for granted rather than wanting to experience them deeply; praying and hoping for change in some situation in their lives. So why is my sister acting as if she has a chip on her shoulder about me, again!

I settled down tonight, after a great fish supper, hoping to watch the Stations from Rome, found that someone in my family was worried about something not working right, the remote, besides the fact that I was trying to do some genealogy along with the stations … I could do two things at once, but not three or four, I thought!

The meditations for the stations, written by someone from India, can be read online, and, they are beautiful and worthwhile.

God bless!

I have been quite spiritual for the last month and a half, since lent began, and especially tonight. Like I said, my OCD has alot to do with the mood changes, and plenty of other things.

But my soul this night is experiencing so much anguish like never before, i feel so overwhelmed and torn, mostly because of anger

 

[jwatza]

Would it help you to think of these things in a different way? Instead of getting upset by all of this, try to change your perspective. God may be giving you a chance to enter more fully into his suffering, into his passion by having to endure difficult happenings among family members. Take up your cross and follow Him. Instead of thinking how all of this will ruin your peaceful Easter, pray for your wife and her family–offer your Easter to the Lord by praying for their healing. Love them with Christ’s love, a sacrificial love. Let go of your anger and allow God’s love to transform you no matter what the circumstances are in your life. He can give you a peace that passes all understanding.

 

[The_Catholic]

Would it help you to think of these things in a different way? Instead of getting upset by all of this, try to change your perspective. God may be giving you a chance to enter more fully into his suffering, into his passion by having to endure difficult happenings among family members. Take up your cross and follow Him. Instead of thinking how all of this will ruin your peaceful Easter, pray for your wife and her family–offer your Easter to the Lord by praying for their healing. Love them with Christ’s love, a sacrificial love. Let go of your anger and allow God’s love to transform you no matter what the circumstances are in your life. He can give you a peace that passes all understanding.

Thank you :’( :bowdown: It’s what I needed to hear. I’m sorry for being selfish, it’s just really really hard when you already suffer dreadfully from obsessive compulsion disorder. Finally I was feeling peace, and it got snuffed away. But I’m just being selfish, you’ve shown how unworthy I am, thanks. And I love you

 

[MarieVeronica]

I’m sorry everyone, I’m not strong at all, and I feel worthless, pathetic, and just want to crawl into darkness. Either my sin or Satan seems to have dominated me again and I don’t know what to do.

“TC” Don’t apologize to us, dear soul. :console: Sometimes the worst pains are truly caused by those we love the most. I’m so sorry that all of this happened, and impacted your Good Friday observances in such a negative way.

Please remember and take to heart… the words of Our dear Lord, when He appeared to the disciples after He had risen from the dead:

"… Jesus came and stood in their midst and said to them, “Peace be with you.” When He had said this, He showed them His hands and His side. The disciples rejoiced when they saw the Lord. Jesus said to them again, “Peace be with you. As the Father has sent Me, so I send you.” (John 20:19-21)

I think that “Sheeniac” gave you some really good advice. Approach your wife, (at least)… and ask her to extend the olive branch to her mother, in view of the Holy Feast of Easter. Ask her to do it, for Jesus… and for you. If her mother won’t cooperate… at least your wife has tried and the two of you can have a blessed Easter celebration.

God bless you, “TC”. All of you are in my prayers.

 

[ohioszo]

I have been quite spiritual for the last month and a half, since lent began, and especially tonight. Like I said, my OCD has alot to do with the mood changes, and plenty of other things.

But my soul this night is experiencing so much anguish like never before, i feel so overwhelmed and torn, mostly because of anger

I know what you mean about spirituality and how another person seems to attack when we feel quite right with God. Some people are truly right with God, and they may be persecuted; others believe themselves to be right with God, but are really rather lukewarm towards God and like to crab about what they see to be the hypocrisy of others. My sister is still trying to prove to herself and others that she is the better person. What kind of goal is that?! My brother’s family is fighting the Bishop. What a waste of time, energy and money! They are missing out on life, for that! My other sister is also trying to prove something, as a JW. I remember what another poster said about inviting the JW in for a beer, instead of talking religion.

PS I hope and pray that your thoughts are righted and that you are at peace.

Hilaire Belloc’s Poem is below.

The Pelagian Drinking Song
by Hilaire Belloc

Pelagius lived at Kardanoel
And taught a doctrine there
How, whether you went to heaven or to hell
It was your own affair.
It had nothing to do with the Church, my boy,
But was your own affair.

No, he didn’t believe
In Adam and Eve
He put no faith therein!
His doubts began
With the Fall of Man
And he laughed at Original Sin.
With my row-ti-tow
Ti-oodly-ow
He laughed at original sin.

Then came the bishop of old Auxerre
Germanus was his name
He tore great handfuls out of his hair
And he called Pelagius shame.
And with his stout Episcopal staff
So thoroughly whacked and banged
The heretics all, both short and tall –
They rather had been hanged.

Oh he whacked them hard, and he banged them long
Upon each and all occasions
Till they bellowed in chorus, loud and strong
Their orthodox persuasions.
With my row-ti-tow
Ti-oodly-ow
Their orthodox persuasions.

Now the faith is old and the Devil bold
Exceedingly bold indeed.
And the masses of doubt that are floating about
Would smother a mortal creed.
But we that sit in a sturdy youth
And still can drink strong ale
Let us put it away to infallible truth
That always shall prevail.

And thank the Lord
For the temporal sword
And howling heretics too.
And all good things
Our Christendom brings
But especially barley brew!
With my row-ti-tow
Ti-oodly-ow
Especially barley brew!

 

[The_Catholic]

“TC” Don’t apologize to us, dear soul. :console: Sometimes the worst pains are truly caused by those we love the most. I’m so sorry that all of this happened, and impacted your Good Friday observances in such a negative way.

Please remember and take to heart… the words of Our dear Lord, when He appeared to the disciples after He had risen from the dead:

"… Jesus came and stood in their midst and said to them, “Peace be with you.” When He had said this, He showed them His hands and His side. The disciples rejoiced when they saw the Lord. Jesus said to them again, “Peace be with you. As the Father has sent Me, so I send you.” (John 20:19-21)

I think that “Sheeniac” gave you some really good advice. Approach your wife, (at least)… and ask her to extend the olive branch to her mother, in view of the Holy Feast of Easter. Ask her to do it, for Jesus… and for you. If her mother won’t cooperate… at least your wife has tried and the two of you can have a blessed Easter celebration.

God bless you, “TC”. All of you are in my prayers.

Thank you, I love you, all of you, as a brother in the Lord should Things are back to normal now, thanks for all the prayers.

 

[Lief_Erikson]

God bless you .

 

[John_Russell_Jr]

My dear friend

I think you are misunderstanding something. When you get close to God He gives you the cross. The cross is one of the greatest gifts God can give you. If you accept it you will be purified and made more holy until you most perfectly resemble God. This is why these things happen when you start to get close to God. God is showing His great love for you in sending these crosses. Embrace them wholeheartedly. You don’t have to like them but try to learn to love them. Our Blessed Mother is the greatest example of how to do this. When her cross came she didn’t like it but she stood right there at the foot of the cross weeping and in so much pain she underwent a spiritual martyrdom but she embraced that cross, that great suffering. We can not only learn from her but we can implore her to help us to embrace our cross as she did. Ask her for help. She will do it.

 

[The_Catholic]

My dear friend

I think you are misunderstanding something. When you get close to God He gives you the cross. The cross is one of the greatest gifts God can give you. If you accept it you will be purified and made more holy until you most perfectly resemble God. This is why these things happen when you start to get close to God. God is showing His great love for you in sending these crosses. Embrace them wholeheartedly. You don’t have to like them but try to learn to love them. Our Blessed Mother is the greatest example of how to do this. When her cross came she didn’t like it but she stood right there at the foot of the cross weeping and in so much pain she underwent a spiritual martyrdom but she embraced that cross, that great suffering. We can not only learn from her but we can implore her to help us to embrace our cross as she did. Ask her for help. She will do it.

Thanks