Spiritual Attack and Arrogance

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Popeye14

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This past week I’ve been backsliding or relapsing into mortal sin.
This morning I was remembering a lot of things from my past that get me angry. I have a lot of anger towards my father because of all of his verbal abuse and selfishness, and I guess I’ve never gotten over the things he’s done. I get so sick of having to put up with him every day and not being able to do anything about it. Today when we sat down to eat, he said some things that got me angry. He told me to shut up a few times and that got me mad. (Because I’m in taekwondo, he play-fights or spars with me in the house sometimes to help me practice) so that’s what he was doing when he came over to where I was sitting. As I was trying to eat he kept trying to test my reflexes and I got sick of it. He got me even angrier when he pushed me into my chair when I stood up to face him. :mad: Then he lightly hit me on the side of my head and taunted me and I couldn’t take it anymore.

I got up and kicked him in the side of his leg. I haven’t felt anger like that since I was little. It wasn’t an actual kick like how I would use in tkd, but it was still a kick. I mean I guess it was but it was a kick.

He was shocked that I did that, and I was shocked too that I had such an outburst. He made me do 100 push-ups as a punishment. I didn’t really hurt him; it wasn’t that hard of a kick, but what I did to my father was still wrong. That was the ultimate disrespect, and I can’t believe that I did that. After I finished the push-ups, he pretty much laughed it off and got over what happened right away. I apologized.
I feel sorry that I committed such a horrible sin, but right now I don’t feel completely guilty because I feel like I gave him what he deserves. I do feel sorry that I offended God. :imsorry:
The spiritual attack was that I think the enemy was reminding me of my past hurts to fuel me into anger. I think that what I did was very arrogant, because if I truly loved God I would love him enough not to feel offended by people treating me bad and holding onto anger.
I am sorry that I did something so horrible, and I would never want to do it again. In fact there’s a Scripture that says anyone who strikes their parent shall be put to death.
 
#1 - Go to confession #2- Get professional counseling to help you deal with your anger and most important, #3- MOVE OUT. You dad is exerting control over you when it is not appropriate and you do not have to take his abuse.
 
Popeye14 said:
I think that what I did was very arrogant, because if I truly loved God I would love him enough not to feel offended by people treating me bad and holding onto anger.
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Loving God does not instantly impart on us the ability to be disciplined. That requires virtue, which is simply a good habit that’s arrived at after being repeated again and again. The more you resist impulses, the more you will build virtue.

You have to go a little bit at a time. It’s wonderful to see your own weakness, because you will know what to work on, and you will know how utterly worthless you are without God’s grace. But don’t be annoyed because you’re not perfected yet. Perfection is possible, but requires a great deal of suffering which is virtue is being sharpened.

Regarding being put to death for striking parents: right, but that’s a law of Moses that was intended for a particular people living in a particular culture in a particular time. The eternal law it’s based on is to be respectful of and to honor one’s parents. If you transgressed that eternal law to a mortally sinful extent, it will be remedied with Confession. But your father imposed a punishment on you, and you accepted it. That takes care of the natural aspect of things. Take care of the Supernatural in Confession, and don’t worry.
 
Catholic1954 said:
#1 - Go to confession #2- Get professional counseling to help you deal with your anger and most important, #3- MOVE OUT. You dad is exerting control over you when it is not appropriate and you do not have to take his abuse.
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@ Catholic1954: Popeye14 is a minor child -
We do not have the complete picture here; thus, to say that Popeye14’s Dad is being abusive could be a bit of an overreach.
Confession is always good for the soul and I agree at Popeye14 should go at the earliest opportunity
As a minor, Popeye14 cannot just simply move out - this would be called “running away” and the authorities would simply return Popeye14 to the home. If this is an abusive family, removal from the home by the authorities is the path to take, not running away.
As for professional counseling, all Popeye14 can do is ask the parents to seek out such for the family - and it may be well advised to do so; however, once again, we have only one side of the situation
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SimpleRosarian said:
Loving God does not instantly impart on us the ability to be disciplined. That requires virtue, which is simply a good habit that’s arrived at after being repeated again and again. The more you resist impulses, the more you will build virtue.

You have to go a little bit at a time. It’s wonderful to see your own weakness, because you will know what to work on, and you will know how utterly worthless you are without God’s grace. But don’t be annoyed because you’re not perfected yet. Perfection is possible, but requires a great deal of suffering which is virtue is being sharpened.

Regarding being put to death for striking parents: right, but that’s a law of Moses that was intended for a particular people living in a particular culture in a particular time. The eternal law it’s based on is to be respectful of and to honor one’s parents. If you transgressed that eternal law to a mortally sinful extent, it will be remedied with Confession. But your father imposed a punishment on you, and you accepted it. That takes care of the natural aspect of things. Take care of the Supernatural in Confession, and don’t worry.
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  • nice post. I was thinking similar towards the start, that the OP shows real sensitivity and care for his faith, in acknowledging his side of things after the event took place.
OP, living with patients takes a lot of patience. Doing very active aggressive sport is bound to come out now and again in an unhelpful way, and Anger Management (as
has been suggested), is always a great practical step to becoming more patient - and this is an ongoing struggle, btw, as behaviour doesn’t usually immediately get better. Also, not drinking loads of coffee and stimulant drinks - I don’t know if you do, but they can make one more intense than normal. I think that living with parents can be viewed as a test - to ensure your own rights are being respected while also remembering that your parents love you.

Wish you well in your efforts and faith-life.
 
Well, to be honest… I don’t really have anger issues. I’ve never been violent towards my father before, and I always try to stay quiet and avoid confrontation whenever he’s harassing me. It wasn’t worth kicking him. This was the first time I’ve ever really had an outburst like this.
 
SimpleRosarian said:
Loving God does not instantly impart on us the ability to be disciplined. That requires virtue, which is simply a good habit that’s arrived at after being repeated again and again. The more you resist impulses, the more you will build virtue.

You have to go a little bit at a time. It’s wonderful to see your own weakness, because you will know what to work on, and you will know how utterly worthless you are without God’s grace. But don’t be annoyed because you’re not perfected yet. Perfection is possible, but requires a great deal of suffering which is virtue is being sharpened.

Regarding being put to death for striking parents: right, but that’s a law of Moses that was intended for a particular people living in a particular culture in a particular time. The eternal law it’s based on is to be respectful of and to honor one’s parents. If you transgressed that eternal law to a mortally sinful extent, it will be remedied with Confession. But your father imposed a punishment on you, and you accepted it. That takes care of the natural aspect of things. Take care of the Supernatural in Confession, and don’t worry.
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Thank you for your post. 😊 The problem is that my mom has to work night shift today, tomorrow, and Saturday. She has to leave the house on Saturday morning right after work and she told me she won’t get enough sleep to go to Mass on Saturday. That means I might not be able to make it to Confession on Saturday unless I really ask her.
 
Popeye14 said:
No, but he used to do taekwondo when he was younger, so he helps me practice.
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Is it possible for you to stick to the rule of no Tai Kwon Do spaaing outside the Dojo?
That means everywhere. Do you do Kata
 
Roseeurekacross said:
Is it possible for you to stick to the rule of no Tai Kwon Do spaaing outside the Dojo?
That means everywhere. Do you do Kata
Click to expand...
I really shouldn’t be doing tkd outside of the school, but my dad still plays around with me. I can easily just tell him not to do it anymore, though. It’s also embarrassing because I clearly broke the rules about tkd by losing my temper with my dad. My dad didn’t tell my mom about it; I told her, and she wasn’t very upset about it. She said that it’s good I stand up to him for myself but I still think I was wrong.
I seriously am considering quitting tkd because of what happened. I told my mom that I want to quit but she flat out said “no” and she wants me to continue going. I’ve never gotten angry in tkd sparring before, but because I did this to my father I think I should quit because I’m clearly too immature and rash to be part of this sport.

Yesterday wasn’t actual sparring. While I was eating, he came up to me and started playing around by trying to test my reflexes; trying to kick me and swat my head, and I didn’t want to do that with him and then he said something sarcastic. What got me even more worked up was when he roughly pushed me back into my chair, hit me in my head, and taunted me, and from there I snapped.
I hate trying to defend the wrong that I did, but on a regular basis I brush off and tolerate a lot of rude and disrespectful things that my father does and says. I stay quiet when he’s talking down to me or being aggressive, and I try to avoid conflict at all costs. But yesterday I lost my temper because I couldn’t take it anymore, especially after I had been remembering past insults/incidents from him earlier that day.

Also, I didn’t want to mention this, but my dad thinks that I’m a wussy. That’s because I used to get scared of sparring in tkd, and I (think) it was also because of how I keep quiet when he harasses me. After I retaliated against him yesterday and did the 100 push-ups, he stopped being rude to me for the rest of the day, and when I told my mom about what happened, she agreed that I possibly proved to him that I can stand up for myself. He actually seemed somewhat proud of me after the incident, as if I earned his respect :confused: However, I know he’ll just go back to being mean to me today, respect or no respect.

I apologized to him twice and he was totally fine with it, as if it never happened; but I don’t think God is happy with me… I repented several times yesterday and before I went to sleep, but I don’t think God forgave me. I am sorry… and I don’t have any vengeful feelings towards my father anymore that I would feel like he deserves it. He didn’t deserve that. I should’ve just turned the other cheek like usual… but the problem is, my dad thinks that turning the other cheek is a wussy mentality (he’s said it before), so I know that if I would’ve just ignored him, he would’ve walked away smugly knowing that he can bother me all he wants because I’m a doormat.

I need more humility.

also is this the sin of detraction if its anonymous
 
I think you should stay with the TKD … everyone that can learn a defense skill should learn one … it’s a good thing … and it teaches it the right way … I sent my daughter to TKD growing up, and it was a good thing for her.

I wouldn’t give what happened between you and your father much more thought … confess it and let it go … sounds to me as you might be a bit scrupulous … which isn’t something you want to be.

Try to enjoy your childhood … God knows you are growing up and that there will be times that you will make mistakes … confession is good … but there’s a lot out there in the world to enjoy … everything doesn’t have to be about sin.
 
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