Spiritual attacks while discerning

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Hello. Before I begin, I think you ought to know that I have had quite a history of offenses that have to do with the solitary sin throughout my teenage years. I didn’t know it was sinful at first, but after finding out, I was already addicted and had a hard time recovering. Thankfully I have moved on now, and I rarely ever do it anymore (I might snap once every 2-3 months due to stress from life/school).

Ever since I was in middle school, I would sometime feel the urge of becoming a priest (I’m 20 now). The feeling comes and goes. But recently it came back and I truly felt that God was in fact calling me to the priesthood. I can tell about why I felt that way, but I don’t want to take up your time (if you do want to know, you can ask me and I’ll tell you all about it). So to be sure, I began discerning a vocation to the priesthood. I pray the Rosary every night for the souls in Purgatory. Then I pray for my family and friends, to my patron saint: St. Micahel, to my guardian angel, and finally to be able to open my heart to recognize God’s will for my vocation. Then, I finish up with a Novena. I haven’t done so yet, but I have also read that going to at least 1 confession every 2 weeks is also helpful. I haven’t worked out a schedule for daily Mass yet though.

But ever since I have been extra devout, my desire to commit the solitary sin has come back hard and sometimes it makes me wonder if I’m worthy of becoming a priest if I could potentially snap and relapse. I was on the verge of doing it tonight because tomorrow is the 1st day of school. I do believe that this is being caused by demons trying to re-infect me with these desires. Does anyone know any special prayers or methods of praying that might help my situation? My only method currently, is telling myself over and over that it’s not worth it and listening to church music. Any help is appreciated not matter how critical!

Thank you for your generous replies and God bless!
 
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Mr.T said:
But ever since I have been extra devout, my desire to commit the solitary sin has come back hard and sometimes it makes me wonder if I’m worthy of becoming a priest
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There is the reason right there. Considering the priesthood - who’d be most likely to not want any priests?

Things that may help in addition to what you are already doing:-
  1. Go to Adoration at least weekly.
  2. Prayer Mary, Undoer of Knots about this problem, and there is a link to a novena at the end of the prayer, or → Novena
  3. Book - Prayers for those in Spiritual Affliction - this might be available in your local Catholic bookstore, if you’d prefer to not buy online.
  4. Read the Bible
  5. When these temptations come meditate on a picture of Jesus scourged - Example here , or the whole of His Passion.
  6. Pray the Litany of Saints asking their intercession and help.
God bless.
 
You might want to try the prayer below:
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Hello
Very good advice CRV. The enemy for sure is impeding your thoughts.
Another thought, perhaps you are not to enter YET into his vocation, maybe not at this specific moment.
Pray to him to come to you, in a way that you will understand.
Ask him then be still and look and listen for his reply.
Funny, as I was googling a rapper I met at a church a few months ago where I frequent for 7 pm mass, and CRV responded in the meantime with good advise.
There’s a young rapper who goes by the name of “Communion”. Yep… communion.
He’s young as well and he did enter the seminary and studied for a few years. However, left the seminary because he felt that not yet, was he to be a priest. He said he will return and maybe be the first rapping priest… lol
He feels for now, his calling is to “Catholic rap”.
I bought his cd to sponsor his endeavors and listening to it, I thought it refreshing actually because of what’s being sung today (I’m in my 50’s) and I listen to K-love and instrumental. My millennial children have listened to all sorts of music and the terrible rap of today which I do not allow to listen to in high volume is terrible.
Communion raps about the Blessed Mother “Mama Mary” is the name of the song I believe and catholic perspectives and if you hear his words of course he knows his faith you may hear a message.
I bring this up because perhaps you’ll take a listen to him, and wherever your paths lead, God will always have the reigns especially when you seek him as you are.
You’ll know when and if to enter priestly vocation when the time (Gods time) is right.
Much success to you and talk to our eternal mother to help lead you and keep you on your path.
Peace, Grace and Blessings.
 
You’re right, in that now may not be the right time to enter the priesthood.

To @Mr.T - I should add to my earlier post, is to go and speak to your parish priest first, and then to the vocations director for your closest seminary as they will be able to help you discern whether you are being called to the priesthood or not, if you haven’t already.
 
That’s delicate skin, if I’m correct in assuming this is “self abuse” you’re discussing. The skin is our first line of defense. The body will take care of itself. No need to bring on a cortisone rush. Even in marriage, if following Natural Family Planning, you’d have only about a week of relations available.

Put everything into perspective, and it will be easier to follow the Lord.

Of course, once you’ve given up particular sins, the demon comes back with seven worse than himself. As an example, the fine young man who has lived a virtuous life, “gets saved” and baptized, and next you hear, he’s impregnated a girl. We are tempted according to our state-in-life. Keep that in mind.

Keep a rosary on you. Wear the Brown or Five-Fold Scapular with St. Benedict and Miraculous Medals and crucifix attached. Visualize pouring the Precious Blood of Jesus upon yourself during these times, and whenever you remember to do so. Ask your Angel Guardian’s help in remembering these things.

Blessings,
Mrs Cloisters OP
Lay Dominican
http://cloisters.tripod.com/
http://cloisters.tripod.com/charity/
http://cloisters.tripod.com/holyangels/id9.html/
 
Go and speak to the vocations director at your Diocese. We don’t discern alone, we are usually guided or have someone available to discuss things with as required.
 
The closer you are to God, the more active is the bad guy himself. When you weren’t close to God you were already in his gang so now he doesn’t want to loose you and calls in the heavy artillery.

CS Lewis The Screwtape Letters is recommended. Good introduction here. The bad guy always gets the good actor… 😁

 
Remember three things, one the storm will pass and two to hold on to the rock who is Jesus during that storm, he is what will hold you together. The third thing is, from personal experience, I say that only so you can take it as a pinch of salt not to make it more valid only, perhaps less so - Remember demons sole purpose is to stop you doing God’s will. If they are rising up now and making a big fuss, you are going the right way and they do not like it. That is a pretty powerful thing. Let that make you feel strong, to know you are doing God’s will.
 
Get the Auxilium Christorum app on your phone pray it before you go to sleep
 
Mr.T said:
it makes me wonder if I’m worthy of becoming a priest
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My guess is that anyone who discerns a religious vocation has had that same worry at some time or another. When I was in discernment, I posed the same question to my spiritual director: Who am I to think I am worthy to become a deacon?
He was a priest and a Benedictine monk. His reply was: You can stop worrying–you’re not worthy. None of us are. And we never will be. Yet God calls us anyway.
 
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