Spiritual Desolation

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BlueinSD

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Hey Folks,

Need some thoughts or encouragement regarding a bit of a spiritual desert I seem to be going through at the moment.

Last Monday (8 days ago), I noticed that the presence of God that always seemed to be present, whether at the forefront (during prayer, meditation, or Mass) or in the background (everything else) seemed to be fading away. The next morning, I woke up to a feeling of complete spiritual barrenness. The fullness and joy I got from God’s presence had vanished and hasn’t returned. At first, I was in a state of sadness that seemed to finally bottom out on Thursday or Friday and continued through the weekend.

Earlier today, I noticed that it shifted more towards apathy and it had been that way for a few days and over the past few hours it has moved back towards sadness, although at a much deeper level than before. I feel a total disconnect and lack of presence from God. I feel no response and don’t seem to get any connection when engaged in prayer, meditation, or attending Mass…it’s almost like God isn’t there. I continue my daily devotions and prayers, but my situation (for lack of a better term) hasn’t improved at all.

Furthermore, over the past few days, I have begun to flashback to grave sins I’ve committed in the past. They’ll only last a second or two, but I’ll see images in my mind’s eye and the effect will last a few minutes.

What am I supposed to do? I feel completely alone, without God to console my soul. I almost feel spiritually oppressed with only small moments of apathy to assuage the feeling of aloneness and sadness. I’d really appreciate some prayers or thoughts. Thanks folks.
 
It isn’t an uncommon thing you are going thru.

God throws us consolations to encourage us and these make it easy for us to
pray and to love him. Our emotions are up and happy.

Now He withdraws these consolations so that we end up pulling the full load
uphill on our own, and this gets very warisome.

Now it is question and answer time.

Do we seek the consolations of God or do we seek the God of consolations?

Our emotional high, or his will?

He is teaching us from the start what it is really about.

We know our answer by looking at where our cross is. On the ground or on our
shoulder.

Just a thought.
 
BlueinSD said:
Hey Folks,

Need some thoughts or encouragement regarding a bit of a spiritual desert I seem to be going through at the moment.

Last Monday (8 days ago), I noticed that the presence of God that always seemed to be present, whether at the forefront (during prayer, meditation, or Mass) or in the background (everything else) seemed to be fading away. The next morning, I woke up to a feeling of complete spiritual barrenness. The fullness and joy I got from God’s presence had vanished and hasn’t returned. At first, I was in a state of sadness that seemed to finally bottom out on Thursday or Friday and continued through the weekend.

Earlier today, I noticed that it shifted more towards apathy and it had been that way for a few days and over the past few hours it has moved back towards sadness, although at a much deeper level than before. I feel a total disconnect and lack of presence from God. I feel no response and don’t seem to get any connection when engaged in prayer, meditation, or attending Mass…it’s almost like God isn’t there. I continue my daily devotions and prayers, but my situation (for lack of a better term) hasn’t improved at all.

Furthermore, over the past few days, I have begun to flashback to grave sins I’ve committed in the past. They’ll only last a second or two, but I’ll see images in my mind’s eye and the effect will last a few minutes.

What am I supposed to do? I feel completely alone, without God to console my soul. I almost feel spiritually oppressed with only small moments of apathy to assuage the feeling of aloneness and sadness. I’d really appreciate some prayers or thoughts. Thanks folks.
Click to expand...
I like what Fred Conty said in response to your posting. Certainly what you feel is not abnormal. It is part of the spiritual life. I think it was St. Theresa of Lisieux or Avila (one of the Theresa’s and I may have the name wrong) who talked about the “dark night of the soul” in which she describes the feelings that you are feeling.

I have experienced a lot of desert in my prayer life and there is a temptation (and I know that cause I am the one that worries) that I am doing something wrong, or I am somehow not pleasing God and that God is withdrawing from me. Yet we have good brothers and sisters like Job who wondered why God wasn’t repsonding to him.

I am noting thought that rather than feelings of extasy I am feeling a serenity and peace and ironically “love” or a feeling of being embraced by something I know as God…(I know cause I know). … So just to let you know your not alone in this experience, and it in fact is an opportunity to “dig deeper” to search your heart and see if you have any unrepented acts and it is quite possible for you to say “to the best of my knowledge…I have acknowledged all my sins … both of the sins that I have actually done…and sins that I have commmitted by denial or ignoring them…” I think JP II also talks about our participation in social sin, where we support gang mentality in policies, acts, etc., that are against God’s order…but at the end of the day, you can only examine your conscience, as Our Lord to help you have an open and innocent mind…and with or without any feelings in pray put your ultimate trust that if God needs to speak to you He will…

Blessings

Bruce
 
As we look through the Bible, there are many times when Man has felt Desolation, felt that God has abandoned them. Others more learned than I have quoted examples, but I’m uplifted as I read the Book of Daniel, here was a man of God, taken as a slave who refused to give up his faith even when faced with being thrown to the lions.

We can’t all have Daniel’s courage, we can’t all have Daniels’s faith, we cant’t all believe that our salvation is here on Planet Earth. We should remember that this is not our home, we are just passing by on our way home.

John 14.3
And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again, and receive you unto myself; that where I am, there ye may be also.
 
St Francis de Sales gives specific advice on what to do in his Introduction to the Devout Life, Part IV, Chapter 14, “Dryness and Spiritual Barrenness.”

All five recommendations should be followed, but pay attention especially to #5.

1. Humble yourself profoundly before God, acknowledging your nothingness and misery. Alas, what am I when left to myself! no better, Lord, than a parched ground, whose cracks and crevices on every side testify its need of the gracious rain of Heaven, while, nevertheless, the world’s blasts wither it more and more to dust.

2. Call upon God, and ask for His Gladness. “O give me the comfort of Thy help again! My Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me.” “Depart, O ye unfruitful wind, which parcheth up my soul, and come, O gracious south wind, blow upon my garden.” Such loving desires will fill you with the perfume of holiness.

3. Go to your confessor, open your heart thoroughly, let him see every corner of your soul, and take all his advice with the utmost simplicity and humility, for God loves obedience, and He often makes the counsel we take, specially that of the guides of souls, to be more useful than would seem likely; just as He caused the waters of Jordan, commended by Elijah to Naaman, to cure his leprosy in spite of the improbability to human reason.

4. But, after all, nothing is so useful, so fruitful amid this dryness and barrenness, as not to yield to a passionate desire of being delivered from it. I do not say that one may not desire to be set free, but only that one ought not to desire it over-eagerly, but to leave all to the sole Mercy of God’s special Providence, in order that, so long as He pleases, He may keep us amid these thorns and longings. Let us say to God at such seasons, "O my Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me; "–but let us add heartily, “Nevertheless, not my will, but Thine be done,” and there let us abide as trustingly as we are able. When God sees us to be filled with such pious indifference, He will comfort us with His grace and favour, as when He beheld Abraham ready to offer up his son Isaac, and comforted him with His blessing. In every sort of affliction, then, whether bodily or spiritual, in every manner of distraction or loss of sensible devotion, let us say with our whole heart, and in the deepest submission, “The Lord gave me all my blessings, the Lord taketh them away, blessed be the Name of the Lord.” If we persevere in this humility, He will restore to us His mercies as he did to Job, who ever spake thus amid all his troubles.

5. And lastly, my child, amid all our dryness let us never grow discouraged, but go steadily on, patiently waiting the return of better things; let us never be misled to give up any devout practices because of it, but rather if possible, let us increase our good works, and if we cannot offer liquid preserves to our Bridegroom, let us at least offer Him dried fruit–it is all one to Him, so long as the heart we offer be fully resolved to love Him. In fine weather bees make more honey and breed fewer grubs, because they spend so much time in gathering the sweet juices of the flowers that they neglect the multiplication of their race. But in a cold, cloudy spring they have a fuller hive and less honey. And so sometimes, my child, in the glowing springtide of spiritual consolations, the soul spends so much time in storing them up, that amid such abundance it performs fewer good works; while, on the contrary, when amid spiritual dryness and bitterness, and devoid of all that is attractive in devotion, it multiplies its substantial good works, and abounds in the hidden virtues of patience, humility, self-abnegation, resignation and unselfishness.

catholicity.com/devoutlife/4-14.html
 
Mark 1:12At once the Spirit drove him out into the desert

peace
 
I feel a total disconnect and lack of presence from God. I feel no response and don’t seem to get any connection when engaged in prayer, meditation, or attending Mass…it’s almost like God isn’t there. I continue my daily devotions and prayers,http://www.infoocean.info/avatar4.jpg
 
When I am in the desert, reading the desert (monastic) fathers is helpful. While it is uncomfortable it can be very useful as your prayer life advances. When Jesus was not teaching He went to the desert to pray. Pray like Jesus. BTW when you think Him far, He is near.

peace
 
I think I am too going through a time of spiritual desolation of sorts. Maybe it is more spiritual doubt or lack of faith/hope. Things lately (as in the last 8 months or so) have been extremely hard for me. I am in my 2nd year of residency training and after the first year (which went fine) things have taken a downward spiral. My anxiety and depression, which I have always suffered from, has gotten much much worse. My confidence has diminished to almost nothing. I feel like I dont deserve anything that I have in my life and I feel so increasingly worthless. I had to take time off from work earlier this year and ironically during this time I found myself turning to God and growing in my faith, which I am thankful for. However it seems like things just keep happening that make me feel horrible about myself. I always feel like God is distant and allowing bad things to continuously happen to me. I know the old saying “well God is testing you” but I am at the point of breaking. I am tired, so so tired of asking God for strength to get through the day, for Him to lessen my load, for Him to give me peace for my constant daily anxiety, for Him to allow me to be happy. Lately it feels like my prayers are falling on deaf ears and it makes me so frustrated and angry. He could help me with a word, He could take away the constant suffering of anxiety, depression, and panic attacks that I deal with on a daily basis, He could allow me to be happy. It just isn’t fair (I know that is childish to say but that is the way I feel). It is so hard to keep hope, faith, and strength when you feel like your pleas are going unheard.
 
Roux said:
I think I am too going through a time of spiritual desolation of sorts. Maybe it is more spiritual doubt or lack of faith/hope. Things lately (as in the last 8 months or so) have been extremely hard for me. I am in my 2nd year of residency training and after the first year (which went fine) things have taken a downward spiral. My anxiety and depression, which I have always suffered from, has gotten much much worse. My confidence has diminished to almost nothing. I feel like I dont deserve anything that I have in my life and I feel so increasingly worthless. I had to take time off from work earlier this year and ironically during this time I found myself turning to God and growing in my faith, which I am thankful for. However it seems like things just keep happening that make me feel horrible about myself. I always feel like God is distant and allowing bad things to continuously happen to me. I know the old saying “well God is testing you” but I am at the point of breaking. I am tired, so so tired of asking God for strength to get through the day, for Him to lessen my load, for Him to give me peace for my constant daily anxiety, for Him to allow me to be happy. Lately it feels like my prayers are falling on deaf ears and it makes me so frustrated and angry. He could help me with a word, He could take away the constant suffering of anxiety, depression, and panic attacks that I deal with on a daily basis, He could allow me to be happy. It just isn’t fair (I know that is childish to say but that is the way I feel). It is so hard to keep hope, faith, and strength when you feel like your pleas are going unheard.
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It is impossible that your pleas are “unheard”.

try this, hope it helps.

ccel.org/ccel/decaussade/abandonment.html

peace
 
The only thing I have to say is an old proverb:

Absence makes the heart grow fonder.
 
God Bless You, Blue:

You said, “It’s almost like God isn’t there…” (I haven’t learned how to quote a phrase out of a paragraph yet!) Anyway; How is your trust in God? A couple of thoughts then:

John 14:1 “Don’t let your hearts be troubled. You believe in God; believe also in me.”

John 14:20 “…you will realize that I am in my Father and you are in me…I am in you.”

John 14:27 “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you…Do not let your heart be troubled
and do not be afraid.”

Matthew 28:20 “I am with you always: even until the end of time.”

May God Bless Us All!
 
You have received already some tremendous words here!

Remember, even Our Lord had His agony in the garden, where He felt totally abandoned by His Father. Is the servant (you) greater than the Master? No.

Expect the highs and the lows in your spiritual life. Both will come.

Another point: the very fact that you wrote upon what is going on with your life will help all who read your post. Your situation is quite common for those who are seeking Him. God is calling you closer to Him. He is letting you share some of Himself.

God is always the first mover of good. He is moving in your life even now.
 
Maybe this is a bit of a rebellious thought. I think all of us have experienced spiritual isolaton from our Creator, but two things always bring me comfort even when I don’t feel anythingl
  1. Faith - We were baptized and confirmed, we are ok. God did not promise that life would be one ecstacy after another. Faith is sometimes netural and teaches us to believe in ourselves. We must also have faith in ourselves, that to the best of our abilities we have sought the yin and yang balance (so to say) and have dealt with any 'sins". And have prayed to have our minds and hearts open to sins of omission, social sins and other areas that we may just not see and that is ok too.
  2. Children of God - I have a sense that there is something in all of creation including myself that is of divine nature…there is a divine DNA in me somehow and therefore I cannot truly be separated from God unless I make the conscioius and aggressive decision to leave God.
So even though I don’t feel God, I know that God is within me and no one can separate me from the fullness of my Creator.

make sense? thoughts?

Bruce
 
fred_conty said:
It isn’t an uncommon thing you are going thru.

God throws us consolations to encourage us and these make it easy for us to
pray and to love him. Our emotions are up and happy.

Now He withdraws these consolations so that we end up pulling the full load
uphill on our own, and this gets very warisome.

Now it is question and answer time.

Do we seek the consolations of God or do we seek the God of consolations?

Our emotional high, or his will?

He is teaching us from the start what it is really about.

We know our answer by looking at where our cross is. On the ground or on our
shoulder.

Just a thought.
Click to expand...
I go through this a lot. Two good books that can be helpful:

Dark Night of the Soul by St John of the Cross (my favorite saint)
The Discernment of Spirits by Timothy Gallagher (this book discusses what to do in desolation in DETAIL)

In Dark Night St John talks about how God removes feeling “pay offs” as a way to purge us of dysfunctional spiritual views/practices and to purify us. The book changed my life in that I can now see all of the dysfunctional things he listed as being very strong in me so I needed the Dark Night.

They do pass, but God wants us to be faithful out of love and obedience not because we get an emotional pay off.

I will pray for you–the second book is clear, do not let up on ANY of your devotional practices, keep the same.

Blessings,

Lorrie
 
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