Spiritual Direction

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HoosierGal

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How does one know if they need spiritual direction? I mean like with regular meetings with a priest and not just what direction might be received during reconciliation. I feel like the Holy Spirit is pushing me to seek out a priest for spiritual direction but I’m not totally certain. And I hate to bring up the topic with a priest if I’m not certain I actually need spiritual direction. Or should I just ask a priest if he thinks I need spiritual direction??

Thank you
 
Everyone can benefit from spiritual direction. It’s a great way to deepen your faith. If you feel an attraction to a specific religious order (Benedictine in my case), you can also seek out spiritual direction from a priest of that order. Most would be happy to provide it.
 
A spiritual director does not have to be a priest but the advantage of having a priest is that you can also have the Sacrament of Penance when you meet with him and that can sometimes be an aid in the spiritual direction.

If you do go to someone who is not a priest, or even a priest, make sure that they are very faithful to the Church.
 
Think of a spiritual director as your family physician, except in this case, not for your body, but for your soul. He should become very familiar with your soul and where you are and help guide you to where you should be, i.e., to grow in holiness.

Ideally, it is a priest, and is the guy you always go to Confession to. That way, he can track your progress. Usually, you meet with him once/month, and start off with Confession.

All that being said, really good spiritual directors are as hard to find as hen’s teeth. Usually, they have appointments scheduled with lots of other people. I knew of one who had scheduled folks till 10:30 at night!

Be very careful not to get a spiritual director who isn’t 100% faithful to Church teaching. There are some of those lurking about, too. Better not to have a spiritual director than one of these lost souls.
 
Check out one of my favorite blogs, Catholic Spiritual Direction. Scroll down to the third item on this page to answer your original question, but don’t miss the rest of the entries - they’re all very helpful.

Betsy
 
HoosierGal said:
How does one know if they need spiritual direction? I mean like with regular meetings with a priest and not just what direction might be received during reconciliation. I feel like the Holy Spirit is pushing me to seek out a priest for spiritual direction but I’m not totally certain. And I hate to bring up the topic with a priest if I’m not certain I actually need spiritual direction. Or should I just ask a priest if he thinks I need spiritual direction??

Thank you
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Everybody needs spiritual direction. When Jesus separated out Peter, James, and John for special events, could this not be called spiritual direction? All Spiritual Direction is the name that Catholics call discipleship.
 
I have heard many arguments that one’s SD should be different than one’s confessor. I forget what the reasoning was, perhaps it had to do with people who wanted anonymity in confession. Yet if you are really honest with your director he (or she) probably knows most of your sins anyway. My director is a priest but I have had nuns as directors and they were good but I needed more of a challenging director and have been with him for 13 years.
 
Thank you for all of your insightful posts. 🙂

If I were to find a priest willing to be my spiritual director, what are some of the first steps in spiritual direction? How does spiritual direction get started?

Thanks again.
 
HoosierGal said:
Thank you for all of your insightful posts. 🙂

If I were to find a priest willing to be my spiritual director, what are some of the first steps in spiritual direction? How does spiritual direction get started?

Thanks again.
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The first session is usually a get to know each other session. The director will ask about who you are, your family, your job, what you like, dislike and of course what your prayer life is like. He will probably let you know how he will direct you, his modus operandi so to speak. He might ask you if you are having any difficulties in your life at this time, or how your relationship with God is. The important thing is to be totally honest. If you hold back you are only hurting yourself.

Directors usually give you an “assignment” to do between session. It could be spending a specific amount of time in prayer each day, reading and meditating on a piece of scripture, reading a spiritual book, or doing something like journal or something else (mine once told me to go do something nice for myself each day). If you think it will be too difficult you can talk it over with him. It is not a penance but as a discipline to help you grow spiritually. Sometimes he may suggest you need to work on a specific area of your life, especially if it is an area that is sinful or can lead to sin.

Spiritual direction is wonderful but both you and the director have to be in sync, trust each other, be honest, and be open to the Holy Spirt and most of all, pray for each other every day.
 
Its been 40 years since I converted and I have tried very hard for years to develop a good prayer life. But I was running around like a scatter-brained idiot. My prayer life was frenetic and disorganized. So after 40 years (I’m a slow learner) I asked a local priest to be my spiritual director. He seemed surprised but pleased. After a couple of “get- togethers” my prayer life is finally beginning to make some sense. Instead of a pile of printed off prayers that I would wearily pray every day, I am now learning to pray the Little Offce of the BVM. My goal is to graduate to the Liturgy of the Hours.

I feel so much more complete now. Father and I meet periodically to check my progress and to discuss the LOTH.
 
Thanks again. 🙂 Very good info here. I will keep praying about it and see if the Holy Spirit leads me to spiritual direction. I think it will help, but it feels like I’d be giving up control somehow and I’m not sure I like that. Or maybe that is the point. I dunno… 🤷
 
HoosierGal said:
Thanks again. 🙂 Very good info here. I will keep praying about it and see if the Holy Spirit leads me to spiritual direction. I think it will help, but it feels like I’d be giving up control somehow and I’m not sure I like that. Or maybe that is the point. I dunno… 🤷
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Funny thing about control. We don’t have control over much of anything. Yes we have free will, but our free will does not trump God’s plan. Our first step is to put all in GOd’s hands, and let Him do the heavy lifting.
 
corsair said:
Its been 40 years since I converted and I have tried very hard for years to develop a good prayer life. But I was running around like a scatter-brained idiot. My prayer life was frenetic and disorganized. So after 40 years (I’m a slow learner) I asked a local priest to be my spiritual director. He seemed surprised but pleased. After a couple of “get- togethers” my prayer life is finally beginning to make some sense. Instead of a pile of printed off prayers that I would wearily pray every day, I am now learning to pray the Little Offce of the BVM. My goal is to graduate to the Liturgy of the Hours.

I feel so much more complete now. Father and I meet periodically to check my progress and to discuss the LOTH.
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Your story sounds like mine. I was a cradle Catholic but left the Church for 22 years. I reconverted 13 years ago. About 4 or 5 years after that I noticed my prayer life was like yours. The LOTH was my “savior” as well, with respect to structuring my prayer life. At the same time I became a Benedictine Oblate, which helped a lot in developing a discipline of the LOTH, because prior to that my scattered attempts at the LOTH tended to be futile. The Rule of St. Benedict really helped me sort out my life and find balance in prayer, and between prayer and ordinary life.

It is well worth the effort. I learned soooo much with the LOTH. In addition to really “discovering” the psalms which really left me lukewarm up 'till then, it is through the LOTH that I really gained an appreciation for the saints, through not only the little blurb about the saint’s life before each entry in the Propers, but also from the hagiographic reading in the Office of Readings.
 
Hi Everyone!!! This is a great thread! Spiritual Direction is the best, excellent and wonderful! I have been blessed by GOD with a beautiful Spiritual Director. I wanted a Priest, not a nun or any one else and I got lucky! So I got a beautiful Roman Catholic Priest! He is so smart and beautiful and knows just what I need - he helped take me to a whole other level with GOD in a very, very short time!

I kept hearing how necessary Spiritual Direction is for serious Catholics and all of my friends have a Spiritual Director so I really wanted one and am I glad I got one! :heaven::love:😛
 
corsair said:
Its been 40 years since I converted and I have tried very hard for years to develop a good prayer life. But I was running around like a scatter-brained idiot. My prayer life was frenetic and disorganized. So after 40 years (I’m a slow learner) I asked a local priest to be my spiritual director. He seemed surprised but pleased. After a couple of “get- togethers” my prayer life is finally beginning to make some sense. Instead of a pile of printed off prayers that I would wearily pray every day, I am now learning to pray the Little Offce of the BVM. My goal is to graduate to the Liturgy of the Hours.

I feel so much more complete now. Father and I meet periodically to check my progress and to discuss the LOTH.
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Hi! This sounds exactly how I was - and I am pushing 40, too! That is a good idea to learn how to pray the Little Office of the BVM & The Liturgy of the Hours! I have not got that far yet!

One of the reasons I really need a Spiritual Director is to help discern all these messages from my precious HOLY SPIRIT! I was on overload for a while (in a good way! just really overwhelming sometimes!) and I already feel better! Spiritual Direction is definitely a blessing!

Thank you for sharing and GOD BLESS!!! :heaven::blessyou:
 
You can always benefit from a Spiritual Director. In my experience in meetings with my Spiritual Director issues that I had no previously thought about or even known about were brought to light and healed or resolved.
 
If a Spiritual Director is someone other than a priest, say a monk or a lay person, are they generally compensated financially in any way for their time ?
 
JW55 said:
If a Spiritual Director is someone other than a priest, say a monk or a lay person, are they generally compensated financially in any way for their time ?
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Usually, but also some priests and religious also ask for compensation. For them probably isn’t a direct “payment” but a contribution to the retreat house or to their congregation. I don’t know of any diocesan priests who ask for payment. I sometimes buy my director a book but he keeps reminding me that he doesn’t work that way. If I ask how I can compensate him he tells me that it is not necessary. But still, I see him perhaps once a month or every six weeks and contact him in between that I feel his time is worth something, but he won’t hear of it.
 
Joannm said:
I have heard many arguments that one’s SD should be different than one’s confessor.
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My director is also my confessor. Going to confession with him is kind of an amazing experience because he knows me so well. He can see connections between things that i can’t see myself. It makes the sacrament even more meaningful.
HoosierGal said:
Thanks again. 🙂 Very good info here. I will keep praying about it and see if the Holy Spirit leads me to spiritual direction. I think it will help, but it feels like I’d be giving up control somehow and I’m not sure I like that. Or maybe that is the point. I dunno… 🤷
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Don’t let the term “director” loom too large. It’s not like your director is giving commands that you must follow. You might think instead of a “spiritual friend” or “spiritual companion” – someone who can help you focus on your spiritual life.
JW55 said:
If a Spiritual Director is someone other than a priest, say a monk or a lay person, are they generally compensated financially in any way for their time ?
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Sometimes yes and sometimes no. The best thing to do is to ask.
 
Since it appears that some Spiritual Directors do accept compensation for their time, I am sure the amount varies. What would generally be an acceptable amount without being insulting with so little or excessive with too much?
 
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