Spiritual Direction

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JW55 said:
Since it appears that some Spiritual Directors do accept compensation for their time, I am sure the amount varies. What would generally be an acceptable amount without being insulting with so little or excessive with too much?
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The range I’ve heard personally is from $25 to $80 a session. In some cases the directors ask for a free will donation without giving a specific amount, and in others they give an amount but say they will adjust it if the directee can’t pay that much,.

If a director charges then I think that would come up at the first session or over the phone when making an appointment. And if the director doesn’t charge, it would be thoughtful to make a donation to his/her religious order, organization, institution, etc.
 
I have always wanted a spiritual director but can’t seem to find one in my area. How do you go about finding one. Our priest, up until recently, was the only priest for several thousand parishoners and the vicar general. He has just been promoted to msgr and they were able to get another priest to assist him. I know full well that they don’t have enough time for me since their work is so important. I just wish I could find someone to help me with a lot of things that I’m dealing with and questions that I have. :confused:
 
FaustinaClare said:
I have always wanted a spiritual director but can’t seem to find one in my area. How do you go about finding one. Our priest, up until recently, was the only priest for several thousand parishoners and the vicar general. He has just been promoted to msgr and they were able to get another priest to assist him. I know full well that they don’t have enough time for me since their work is so important. I just wish I could find someone to help me with a lot of things that I’m dealing with and questions that I have. :confused:
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You could start by talking with your priest. Even if he can’t be your director he may be able to suggest someone who would be good. Do you have a convent, monastery, retreat house, or the like in your area? They would also be good places to check. In some cases spiritual direction may be part of the work they do. In other cases, a retired religious may be available and can be a great source of wisdom and grace.

Mostly I would suggest that you pray that the Holy Spirit help you find someone.
 
SuscipeMeDomine said:
Don’t let the term “director” loom too large. It’s not like your director is giving commands that you must follow. You might think instead of a “spiritual friend” or “spiritual companion” – someone who can help you focus on your spiritual life.
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Well that is a good point. But again, there is no use taking up time with someone if I’m not going to take his advice. So if I do this, I want to be mentally prepared to accept advice and instruction.
 
Don’t overlook deacons as a possibility! That’s where I started and it was fantastic. Most of my direction comes as formation with my Order now, but back then I knew he was orthodox and I just walked up and asked.

My parish also used to do what they called Busypersons’ Retreats, where there would be opening and closing group sessions, plus six weekly meetings with a director, and there was a group of several to choose from. It was a great way to break the ice with another person that I wanted to get to know.
 
Can you explain the Busypersons’ Retreat a little more? Sounds like a good thing! Thanks.
 
HoosierGal said:
Can you explain the Busypersons’ Retreat a little more? Sounds like a good thing! Thanks.
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Well, it was just before Advent, so the idea was to talk about what we were doing to prepare for Advent and then to prepare for Christmas during Advent. It was my first Advent as a Catholic, so I wanted to learn about all the possibilities. Our first group discussion was just everybody’s thoughts and expectations, and the second/final discussion was whatever anyone wanted to share about their journey during Advent. My six visits started out with getting aquainted and then moved right into what Advent was and wasn’t in the tradition I came from and some education about how to do it as a Catholic and all the options out there for spiritual practices. My director helped me choose a few to pursue and helped me do that and evaluate it all and compare/contrast. She was really a great sounding board and had good ideas.
 
My spiritual director, an FSSP priest who is very devout, started me out on INTRODUCTION TO THE DEVOUT LIFE, written by St. Francis De Sales. This is an excellent beginning guide to spirituality and prayer for any Catholic and I strongly recommend it.
It will help you identify the clutter of self and sin in your life, get control over it and exorcise it. It will help you refocus your life on Christ, to set your course and stay on it.
Its been almost 2 years and since then he has guided me wisely through the writings and teachings of a number of the great Catholic mystics: St. Teresa of Avila, St. John of the Cross, St Francis de Sales, The dialogues of St. Catherine of Sienna and others.
It has completely transformed my prayer life, in part, by introducing me to meditation, which is a step much closer to having a relationship with Our Lord. Once one meditates daily, it becomes almost impossible to commit a mortal sin: one’s love of Our Lord simply won’t allow one to sin against Him.
One thing though: be very careful about selecting a Spiritual Director as not any priest is qualified, and a bad one can do you much harm. I suggest googling Father John Bartunek and checking into the blog that he and Dan Burke produce daily. There is much good advice in there about Spiritual direction and Fr. Bartunek is very orthodox and very, very sound and wise.
 
HoosierGal said:
Can you explain the Busypersons’ Retreat a little more? Sounds like a good thing! Thanks.
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The idea behind a busy person’s retreat is that someone may be too busy to get away for several days, but can participate in a retreat within their regular life.

When my parish did them they lasted from Sunday through Friday. The participants committed to participating in daily Mass, praying for at least a half hour a day, and meeting with a spiritual director for a half hour a day.

One of the things that stood out to me was how important prayer was to me and how I could bring holiness into my entire day. It was a wonderful experience!
 
HoosierGal said:
How does one know if they need spiritual direction? I mean like with regular meetings with a priest and not just what direction might be received during reconciliation. I feel like the Holy Spirit is pushing me to seek out a priest for spiritual direction but I’m not totally certain. And I hate to bring up the topic with a priest if I’m not certain I actually need spiritual direction. Or should I just ask a priest if he thinks I need spiritual direction??

Thank you
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Spiritual Direction can strengthen your faith by strengthening your spirituality. Spiritual exercises like prayer , fasting and penance and offering sufferings and sacrifices and acts of charity can be beneficial in guiding you to the order or director that will expand your spiritual development. GOD may be calling you to one. So dont forget to include him in the process and GOD Bless
 
Thanks again, everyone! Lots of great (name removed by moderator)ut here. 🙂 I will continue to pray, and read, and try to work in another spiritual exercise that might help me be guided the right way.
 
catholicprayer said:
My spiritual director, an FSSP priest who is very devout, started me out on INTRODUCTION TO THE DEVOUT LIFE, written by St. Francis De Sales. This is an excellent beginning guide to spirituality and prayer for any Catholic and I strongly recommend it.
It will help you identify the clutter of self and sin in your life, get control over it and exorcise it. It will help you refocus your life on Christ, to set your course and stay on it.
Its been almost 2 years and since then he has guided me wisely through the writings and teachings of a number of the great Catholic mystics: St. Teresa of Avila, St. John of the Cross, St Francis de Sales, The dialogues of St. Catherine of Sienna and others.
It has completely transformed my prayer life, in part, by introducing me to meditation, which is a step much closer to having a relationship with Our Lord. Once one meditates daily, it becomes almost impossible to commit a mortal sin: one’s love of Our Lord simply won’t allow one to sin against Him.
One thing though: be very careful about selecting a Spiritual Director as not any priest is qualified, and a bad one can do you much harm. I suggest googling Father John Bartunek and checking into the blog that he and Dan Burke produce daily. There is much good advice in there about Spiritual direction and Fr. Bartunek is very orthodox and very, very sound and wise.
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Thanks for the recommendation! www.rcspiritualdirection.com
 
HoosierGal said:
Thanks again, everyone! Lots of great (name removed by moderator)ut here. 🙂 I will continue to pray, and read, and try to work in another spiritual exercise that might help me be guided the right way.
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We live in troubled times, which you might be able to say have always been the case to some degree. You have to listen to the prompting of the Holy Spirit and your Guardian Angel. This is easier when you are in the state of grace. As far as priestly guidance, look for a priest that was trained in the traditional latin rite, still no guarantee of quality, but this would be your best effort at the truth. If they are not, their training is very substandard, and it is very unlikely you can get the long term advise you need. As someone already said no advise is better then bad advise.

Through Jesus and Mary,
Keith
 
Keith_B said:
We live in troubled times, which you might be able to say have always been the case to some degree. You have to listen to the prompting of the Holy Spirit and your Guardian Angel. This is easier when you are in the state of grace. As far as priestly guidance, look for a priest that was trained in the traditional latin rite, still no guarantee of quality, but this would be your best effort at the truth. If they are not, their training is very substandard, and it is very unlikely you can get the long term advise you need. As someone already said no advise is better then bad advise.

Through Jesus and Mary,
Keith
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I have found a good number of solid spiritual directors who did not regularly participate in the traditional latin rite. I have had one that did. All were very good. The key is not the rite but the formation. Cardinal Arinze laughed when someone suggested that there were not abuses in the liturgy prior to the Novus Ordo. St. John of the Cross would make the determination based on the experience of the priest in the spiritual life…
 
SuscipeMeDomine said:
Don’t let the term “director” loom too large. It’s not like your director is giving commands that you must follow. You might think instead of a “spiritual friend” or “spiritual companion” – someone who can help you focus on your spiritual life.
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Actually it might be necessary for the Spiritual Director to give commands and those should be followed.
 
ByzCath said:
Actually it might be necessary for the Spiritual Director to give commands and those should be followed.
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Clearly a wise response in keeping with the teachings of the doctors of the Church on the matter…
 
ByzCath said:
Actually it might be necessary for the Spiritual Director to give commands and those should be followed.
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You’re right, of course.

I was trying to make the point that a spiritual director doesn’t try to micromanage your spiritual life, but was clumsy in how I said it.

In my own experience, something as simple as “have you ever considered…” is enough to get me to do some serious thinking/praying about a topic. If he said something stronger than that I would definitely pay attention.
 
I wanted a spiritual director for four years before I found one. I prayed about it and told myself that when God was ready for me to have a spiritual director He would provide one and He did. 🙂

I was at Mass at a neighboring parish one afternoon and I really needed to go to confession, so I waited until after Mass and asked the priest to hear my confession. He said he had promised several other people in front of me and he had another appointment after that, but he would try to fit me in if I was willing to wait, so I waited, and he heard my confession which made him late for his next appointment. I sent him a thank you card, then didn’t see him for a long time.

About six months later, I decided to make an appointment with him for confession again (no, I didn’t wait six months to go to confession, I normally went to a different parish). We met in his office and my 5 minute confession turned into a 1/2 hour discussion. I liked the advice he gave and asked if he would be my regular confessor. He was pleased I asked him that and he told me to just put him on my calendar every month or so and call and make an appointment. This works out very well for me because I work across the street from the church, so I can go to confession on my lunch hour.

For the next few months we met strictly for confession, but I noticed the meetings were gradually getting longer and when I asked about spiritual direction, he smiled and said that was what we had been doing. Duh!:rolleyes:

I feel very fortunate to have him as my spiritual director as like all priests he is very busy, but he said he enjoys giving spiritual direction and when I expressed concerns about taking up his time he assured me that meeting every few weeks was fine.

One thing he did say is that many people who say they are looking for spiritual direction are really looking for counseling and that it’s important to understand the difference.
 
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