Spiritual director vs spiritual father

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Polycarp86

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What is the difference between spiritual directors in Roman Catholicism and spiritual fathers in Eastern Catholicism in terms of what kind of relationship is expected, how they exactly direct you in you spiritual life, etc.?
 
Well, a father is one guides you out of love. A director is one who guides you out of duty. I am speaking from the secular interpretation of course. My father tells me what to do at home. Our director tells me what to do at work. But my father is the one who loves me. The director, he does so because its his job.
 
Well, a father is one guides you out of love. A director is one who guides you out of duty. I am speaking from the secular interpretation of course. My father tells me what to do at home. Our director tells me what to do at work. But my father is the one who loves me. The director, he does so because its his job.
I don’t think that is the intent of the title “spiritual director” at all…
In the Latin Church, one’s spiritual director is almost always a priest, and typically one’s confessor…so almost invariably one would address one’s spiritual director as “Father” and the relationship would be very much that between father and son (or daughter, as the case may be).
 
I don’t think that is the intent of the title “spiritual director” at all…
In the Latin Church, one’s spiritual director is almost always a priest, and typically one’s confessor…so almost invariably one would address one’s spiritual director as “Father” and the relationship would be very much that between father and son (or daughter, as the case may be).
But it is more of a job. You have a spiritual director if you are in a ministry. In the Eastern praxis, one should have a spiritual mother or father because one is a Christian.
 
But it is more of a job. You have a spiritual director if you are in a ministry. In the Eastern praxis, one should have a spiritual mother or father because one is a Christian.
In the Latin Church, one should have a regular confessor because one is a Christian (recommended - not required). A good confessor will give advice in addition to granting absolution…
 
In the Latin Church, one should have a regular confessor because one is a Christian (recommended - not required). A good confessor will give advice in addition to granting absolution…
A confessor is different from a spiritual father. They can be the same person, but they can also be different people. Not just because you confess to the same priest and receive an advice or two means he is your spiritual father.
 
I don’t think that is the intent of the title “spiritual director” at all…
In the Latin Church, one’s spiritual director is almost always a priest, and typically one’s confessor…so almost invariably one would address one’s spiritual director as “Father” and the relationship would be very much that between father and son (or daughter, as the case may be).
ConstantineTG;9469417:
But it is more of a job. You have a spiritual director if you are in a ministry. In the Eastern praxis, one should have a spiritual mother or father because one is a Christian.
From my experience with spiritual direction in the Latin Church over about 25+ years I would agree with twf, although priests have only accounted for a portion of the spiritual direction I’ve been involved in. For years a contemplative religious sister was my director , and lay men and deacons, also. During the majority of that time I was not in a formal “ministry”, although I was very much in the ministry of wife and mother, about which spiritual direction was I think of critical importance for my theosis in that vocation of marriage and family. I’ve been a catechist for the past maybe 8 years or so. Early in that process I was in a 3 year training offered by the Diocese and some small part of spiritual direction at that time reflected on my movement into the role of catechist, but that was never much of it. I’ve also received important spiritual direction from an Orthodox priest from time to time.

I think having a spiritual father/mother for lay Orthodox (and Catholics) is really pretty unheard of for most of the laity, especially for seniors like myself and older, unless you’d include what one receives during confession/penance as spiritual direction, it hopefully is. But older Orthodox would not have that label for it. 🤷 In my experience they see their parish priest as their “spiritual father” basically because he hears their confession and in that counsels them and give them penance and absolution, and he preaches/teaches and gives them Eucharist, and anointing etc. 🙂 Marital problems? You’d traditionally go to the priest with those, but I think there is less of that these days with younger couples. Converts and younger people talk about spiritual fathers and mothers, and possibly then seek something different, in a way I’ve not seen among older Orthodox nor Catholics, possibly because they’ve more likely than older lay people, to themselves have read the early church Fathers and writings of monastics, which will have address this issue.
 
A confessor is different from a spiritual father. They can be the same person, but they can also be different people. Not just because you confess to the same priest and receive an advice or two means he is your spiritual father.
As Catholics we are truly blessed with having many places where we can go to confession and thus many confessors to pick from. If one wants to have a confessor who can be a true spiritual father at least in an urban area with many parishes one should be able to find that. Where I live we have not only wonderful diocesan priests but also we have religious orders with priests and religious brothers, and sisters and many very “mature” third order lay men and women. My friends and I do “compare notes” about experience with various confessors. A friend and I often prefer different confessors or spiritual fathers/mothers but still we support one another in getting to confession with someone who knows you, knows your persistent issues and has been able to give helpful guidance. And as I mentioned I have also turned to an Orthodox priest at times for some issues not on the surface for spiritual direction necessarily but he’s come to know me and the important spiritual issues get discussed and I’m helped to move forward, and deepen.
 
With regards to any distinction between a spiritual “director” vs. a spiritual “father,” I personally believe it is all a matter of semantics. Spiritual directors and fathers/mothers pretty much function in the same capacity. It is not necessary that they also be a confessor, although there is obviously an element of the “direction” that will involve opening oneself up to one’s director/father/mother, and confessing one’s sins without receiving absolution (if your director/father/mother is not a priest).

The point of the role of director/father/mother is that they will be someone who journeys with you, at least for a time, on your path of spiritual growth because they are people who have already struggled up that path. They will be able to show you the path, help you up when you stumble, and guide you back to the path when you stray. This seems to me to be the essential element of spiritual direction/fatherhood/motherhood.

In either tradition, East or West, it is not necessary that the director/father/mother be a priest, monk or nun. All that is necessary is that the person guiding be experienced; i.e. has been through the spiritual journey themselves and can offer appropriate guidance based off of their own experience as well as the experiences of others (such as the great mystics/fathers/mothers of the past). It is also not necessary that one have only one guide throughout their entire life and/or period of spiritual formation. St. Teresa of Avila herself had multiple guides throughout her journey, and a good many of those were lay married men and women.

It is also interesting to note a minor distinction here. St. Teresa of Avila emphasized that the director be educated/knowledgable in the sense of “book-learning.” St. John of the Cross, on the other hand, emphasized that the director be experienced, and that it is better to find an experienced guide than an educated one. The ideal would be to find a guide that is both experienced and educated. I personally have been blessed with a spiritual father who is both, but I recognize that this is really an exception from the common experience.

From what I’ve read it would seem that the Eastern/Byzantine tradition would also have a preference for an experienced guide over an educated one. Ideally the guide would not only be experienced, but well-read in the writings of the great spiritual masters. Today, with the explosion of publications we now have available, it seems relatively easy to find a guide well-read in the spiritual masters, but extremely difficult to find a guide who is experienced.

So, long story short, I don’t believe there is any difference in role between a spiritual director vs. a spiritual father/mother. But that’s just one man’s opinion. 😃
 
In the Latin Church, one’s spiritual director is almost always a priest, and typically one’s confessor…so almost invariably one would address one’s spiritual director as “Father” and the relationship would be very much that between father and son (or daughter, as the case may be).
This is not necessarily so, as I pointed out in my previous post. Even in the Latin tradition it has not been uncommon for the great saints of the past to have lay spiritual directors, or at most directors who only had minor orders and were not priests. Think of the spiritual direction St. Francis of Assisi gave to others. He was not a priest, and certainly not a confessor. But he gave a great deal of direction to a great many souls.

In the past too, nuns have often served as spiritual guides, particularly to young girls and women. As I pointed out, St. Teresa of Avila herself had a number of married spiritual directors, including one married man.

None of the Western mystics that I’ve read have said anything about one’s director being a priest and/or one’s confessor. They have all either emphasized that one’s director be educated in theology, or very experienced in the spiritual life.
 
With regards to any distinction between a spiritual “director” vs. a spiritual “father,” I personally believe it is all a matter of semantics.
Althought I know little about the Eastern Churches and their practices, I too believe it is probably a matter of words.

A spiritual director in the Latin Church is to be a father, teacher, doctor, friend, guide and shepherd.

-Tim-
 
But it is more of a job. You have a spiritual director if you are in a ministry. In the Eastern praxis, one should have a spiritual mother or father because one is a Christian.
A great number of saints have taught that having a spiritual director is vital in order to grow in sanctity, for everybody, not just those in ministry. St. Francis de Sales’ “Introduction to the Devout Life” come immediately to mind. It is not reserved for those in ministry; every Christian should have one. In practice, many devout Catholics use their regular confessor in this capacity. I see no practical difference between the Eastern and Western perspectives on this.
 
In the Latin church it has become increasingly difficult to find a priest or religious for a spiritual director. There is a ministry in place that many lay people have been trained for but the majority have been trained in a very liberal manner, to the point that in many cases one would be better off without…
 
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