Spiritual Director

[Princess18]

Since joining this forum and reading a lot on Catholic Answers, I see references to “consulting your spiritual director”. At first I thought it just meant your parish priest, but lately I have discovered that this can actually be a separate profession. I’ve spent a lot of time on the Spiritual Directors International and found the listings - unfortunately you’d have to call each person to find out about their schooling. I suppose someone could just go to church regularly and slap their name on there … which is fine, but I’m the type that prefers those with some sort of formal training in the Catholic faith. The training programs/degree programs they had listed on there specifically titled “spiritual direction” tended to be non-denominational.

Please, I would like the replies to this to be limited to those who either ARE spiritual directors or HAVE a spiritual director (non-priest).

What is “adequate” training before someone can call themselves a spiritual director? A bachelors? A masters? Would the degree need to be in ministry or just theology? Is there a program specifically for Catholics to become spiritual directors anywhere? What is it like working with one? Is it guided prayer or more homework assignments? Is it similar to life coaching in any way?

Thanks for your help!

 

[markadm]

I am confused why you say “non-priest” Spiritual Director. I had always understood SDs to be Priests, and indeed mine is.

 

[Cristiano]

Spiritual Directors do not have to be priests. I know of women that have been trained as spiritual directors. The advantage of a priest being the spiritual director is that he can be your confessor too and he can become more aware of you spiritual needs.

 

[SuscipeMeDomine]

Spiritual direction is one of those things where anyone can call themselves one but even certification doesn’t prove anything.

I’m currently in the first year of a three-year program to be certified as a spiritual director. Most of the people in the program are Catholic but there are also people of other Christian faiths. One of the things that seems clear to me is that if I were looking for another director, I would want that person to be Catholic. When I talk with the non-Catholics there are often things that I need to explain that another Catholic automatically understands.

As far as “adequate training,” I’m not sure there’s a simple answer. One of the things they’ve stressed in my classes is that classes alone don’t make a spiritual director. The Holy Spirit calls someone and the Holy Spirit is the ultimate director. It will be nice to have a piece of paper that says I’m certified, but all that really means is that I’ve taken the classes.

Since one of the other students in my class is a priest, I wouldn’t assume that knowledge of spiritual direction automatically comes with ordination. (Obviously he doesn’t think so!) Nor would I automatically dismiss someone who isn’t ordained. That would mean automatically eliminating women as possible spiritual directors and I don’t think that’s a good thing.

The best thing I can think of in terms of finding a director is to talk with someone and get a feeling for them. What kind of education do they have? What kind of training and experience in spiritual direction? While it seems awkward to inquire into someone’s prayer life, I think that a strong prayer life is essential to being a good spiritual director.

I don’t know if this helps. I’d be happy to answer further questions either about my experience as a directee or about the classes I’m taking.

 

[Princess18]

I don’t know if this helps. I’d be happy to answer further questions either about my experience as a directee or about the classes I’m taking.

Yes, very helpful. Where are you attending these classes and how did you find them?

Do you mind telling me a little more about what it was like to work with a spiritual director? How often did you meet, and was it in person or over the phone? Did you pray together? Did you have assignments? Did you learn more about Church doctrine, or would you have if you were not well-versed? Could you compare it to having a tutor … someone who explains what you are supposed to do, and then shows you how?

Thanks!

 

[Marsha_Adams]

Spiritual Directors do not have to be priests. I know of women that have been trained as spiritual directors. The advantage of a priest being the spiritual director is that he can be your confessor too and he can become more aware of you spiritual needs.

Women can be spiritual directors, but they cannot be spiritual directors to priests.

 

[WanderAimlessly]

Spiritual Directors do not have to be priests. I know of women that have been trained as spiritual directors. The advantage of a priest being the spiritual director is that he can be your confessor too and he can become more aware of you spiritual needs.

I have heard positives and negatives of a Spiritual Director also being the Confessor. Saying that, mine is, but he does not know it.

 

[SuscipeMeDomine]

Yes, very helpful. Where are you attending these classes and how did you find them?

I’m attending classes at the Center for Spiritual Development. I don’t remember where I first encountered them – possibly on the web. A Google search should pull up programs all over the place. And then you can start checking them out and eliminating the ones that seem flaky.

Do you mind telling me a little more about what it was like to work with a spiritual director? How often did you meet, and was it in person or over the phone? Did you pray together? Did you have assignments? Did you learn more about Church doctrine, or would you have if you were not well-versed? Could you compare it to having a tutor … someone who explains what you are supposed to do, and then shows you how?

Thanks!

I used to meet with my director twice a month (most months) because it fit our schedules well. Now we meet once a month.

We meet in person. I’m sure that some kind of direction could be done over the phone or by e-mail, but it’s not quite the same thing. Meeting with someone brings all the non-verbal cues and I think that’s important. If there’s silence, for example, your director can see what’s going on rather than wondering if you got cut off.

We start and end our sessions with prayer but we don’t spend the whole time praying. Certainly prayer is a topic we discuss often but it’s not the only one. We can basically discuss whatever it is that’s going on in my spiritual life, good or bad or confusing or clear or whatever.

The only assignment I can think of came up once when I was dealing with a certain issue and he suggested I write a letter about it. It ended up being a good way for me to get a handle on the situation. He’s also suggested books that I might want to read but it’s always a suggestion, never something like “read this and report back on it.”

And I would say that it’s exactly the opposite of having someone show you how. It’s all about YOUR relationship with God and how the Spirit is moving in YOUR life. The one thing my director has never done is try to make me into a clone of himself. I think if a spiritual director ever tried to say that there’s only one way to have a relationship with God and that’s to do it his way, I’d run away quickly.

Doctrine isn’t really something that comes up. I have a master’s in theology so while I was taking classes there were sometimes things I read that I’d want to discuss with him. But it was more from the point of view of someone saying something that particularly resonated with me or saying something that disturbed me. It was a taking-off point for discussing my relationship with God than what the author actually said.

 

[mommyof4]

If you’re looking for one, I might suggest calling or emailing your local diocese and asking them to recommend someone in your area. That is how I found mine. Which reminds me, I have to call and make an appointment with him soon…

 

[Joannm]

We start and end our sessions with prayer but we don’t spend the whole time praying. Certainly prayer is a topic we discuss often but it’s not the only one. We can basically discuss whatever it is that’s going on in my spiritual life, good or bad or confusing or clear or whatever.

The only assignment I can think of came up once when I was dealing with a certain issue and he suggested I write a letter about it. It ended up being a good way for me to get a handle on the situation. He’s also suggested books that I might want to read but it’s always a suggestion, never something like “read this and report back on it.”

And I would say that it’s exactly the opposite of having someone show you how. It’s all about YOUR relationship with God and how the Spirit is moving in YOUR life. The one thing my director has never done is try to make me into a clone of himself. I think if a spiritual director ever tried to say that there’s only one way to have a relationship with God and that’s to do it his way, I’d run away quickly.

Doctrine isn’t really something that comes up. I have a master’s in theology so while I was taking classes there were sometimes things I read that I’d want to discuss with him. But it was more from the point of view of someone saying something that particularly resonated with me or saying something that disturbed me. It was a taking-off point for discussing my relationship with God than what the author actually said.

My experience is somewhat similar. We usually don’t start with prayer but always end with it. Doctrine never comes up but I also have degrees in Theology so I know where to find answers to doctrinal issues. It is more about deepening my relationship with God. My director is a priest but I have had nuns as directors before. My director is also my confessor, but lately he is away studying and I have to find others to confess to. We do direction online or by phone for now, but it is not ideal by any means. I do get assignmnets, mostly related to prayer, although sometimes he makes suggestions for things to read or things to do.

My husband is a certified SD and he had to go through one year of the 19 Annotated retreat followed by two years of classes, the final year incorporating interning as a SD. A good SD is also under direction and undergoes ongoing supervision, usually in a group setting.

 

[Lhhs]

Where did this term “Spiritual director” originate?

I thought it was some trendy thing . . .

I don’t have one and have no interest in obtaining one . .

 

[puzzleannie]

Where did this term “Spiritual director” originate?

I

from class Christian spirituality, noted saints who where spiritual directors are John of the Cross, to Carmelite sisters and friars, and St. Francis de Sales, to lay people, and of course, St. Ignatius, to his priests.

 

[daughterofmary]

There was another thread on this exact subject. There is a book, mentioned and linked in this thread that answers both of those questions “What does a spiritual director do? Where did spiritual direction originate.” It is very interesting. The book is The Spiritual Life by The Very Reverend Adolphe Tanquerey. He talks practically about everything concerning the spiritual life in the book. It is actually the only book I have ever found that gave so much information on the subject of spiritual direction.

The book is linked on this thread. You can read the part about spiritual direction from online.

forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?t=191662&highlight=Spiritual+Direction

 

[bkovacs]

Since joining this forum and reading a lot on Catholic Answers, I see references to “consulting your spiritual director”. At first I thought it just meant your parish priest, but lately I have discovered that this can actually be a separate profession. I’ve spent a lot of time on the Spiritual Directors International and found the listings - unfortunately you’d have to call each person to find out about their schooling. I suppose someone could just go to church regularly and slap their name on there … which is fine, but I’m the type that prefers those with some sort of formal training in the Catholic faith. The training programs/degree programs they had listed on there specifically titled “spiritual direction” tended to be non-denominational.

Please, I would like the replies to this to be limited to those who either ARE spiritual directors or HAVE a spiritual director (non-priest).

What is “adequate” training before someone can call themselves a spiritual director? A bachelors? A masters? Would the degree need to be in ministry or just theology? Is there a program specifically for Catholics to become spiritual directors anywhere? What is it like working with one? Is it guided prayer or more homework assignments? Is it similar to life coaching in any way?

Thanks for your help!

Personally, if I had a spiritual director they would have to be a priest, nun, or monk etcc… No lay people.

 

[Joannm]

Personally, if I had a spiritual director they would have to be a priest, nun, or monk etcc… No lay people.

Can I ask why? There are many lay people who are quite qualified to be spiritual directors. They have the education, the years of training and supervision, the skill, and are very spiriutally mature. Relativly few priests are actually trained as spiritual directors, in fact they may get only one or at the most two courses on it. Good directors may get 3 or more years of training and then participate in ongoing supervision. I know quite a few women and men who have gone throught this training and are well qualified and also very much sought out as directors. BTW my director happens to be a priest, who is trained as a director, but I have been directed by a lay person, so I know both sides.

 

[markadm]

I’d still rather a Priest, specifically because whilst not necessarily my Confessor, they have likely acquired the same skills, and thus able to advise in terms of how to advance against sin.

 

[Princess18]

I’d still rather a Priest, specifically because whilst not necessarily my Confessor, they have likely acquired the same skills, and thus able to advise in terms of how to advance against sin.

I was under the impression that spiritual direction helps you advance your spiritual and prayer life, your relationship with God. Not anything to do with advising or counseling against sin.

I appreciate your opinions against non-religious SDs but I am trying to find out more information from those who have directly worked with one. Thanks!

 

[markadm]

I was under the impression that spiritual direction helps you advance your spiritual and prayer life, your relationship with God. Not anything to do with advising or counseling against sin.

I appreciate your opinions against non-religious SDs but I am trying to find out more information from those who have directly worked with one. Thanks!

Fair enough.

The reason I mentioned that spiritual advancement and the battle against sin, I feel, are related. Original sin and all that… Hope you get the answer you’re looking for.

 

[LilyM]

I was under the impression that spiritual direction helps you advance your spiritual and prayer life, your relationship with God. Not anything to do with advising or counseling against sin.

I appreciate your opinions against non-religious SDs but I am trying to find out more information from those who have directly worked with one. Thanks!

Since sin is a huge roadblock in one’s relationship with God as well as a big hindrance to one’s advancement in spiritual and prayer life, I should think that spiritual direction would have everything to do with advising or counselling against sin.

 

[Joannm]

Spiritual Direction is not about counseling. A good director mostly listens and ask questions to help the directee come to his or her own decisions and conclusions. A director will not tell the directee what to do. If I were to ask about a particular sin, he would turn it back on me and ask me to use that as fodder for prayer and to focus on my particular sin in prayer. He also might say to foucus on the opposite virtue or suggest a scriptural passage that I can pray with. We don’t discuss how to overcome it or things I should do…in fact the word “should” never comes up…ever. Again, it is not about counseling.