Spiritual Director

[LilyM]

Spiritual Direction is not about counseling. A good director mostly listens and ask questions to help the directee come to his or her own decisions and conclusions. A director will not tell the directee what to do. If I were to ask about a particular sin, he would turn it back on me and ask me to use that as fodder for prayer and to focus on my particular sin in prayer. He also might say to foucus on the opposite virtue or suggest a scriptural passage that I can pray with. We don’t discuss how to overcome it or things I should do…in fact the word “should” never comes up…ever. Again, it is not about counseling.

Telling you to focus on the virtue that opposes your sin or telling you particular bible passages you can meditate on in order to help with a sin IS counselling you about (and yes, against) that sin :doh3: It’s not like the SD is saying ‘your sin is just hunky-dory, keep going as you were’. They may be telling you indirectly not to sin, but they’re definitely telling you!

Counselling in the secular world isn’t about giving orders either, you know, but having been through plenty of secular counselling I can tell you that SD is very definitely counselling. And I can tell you that secular counsellors, just like SDs, can very definitely let you know that what you’re currently doing is NOT helpful or beneficial without saying it in so many words.

 

[Marsha_Adams]

Many saints had spiritual directors and the directors gave them very specific instructions. One of the tasks of these directors was to assist them in discerning whether or not it was the Lord speaking to them or an evil spirit.

 

[bkovacs]

Because I feel it’s the clergy’s job to spiritually guide me. They can guide you in your prayer life etc… When you go to confession you go to a priest not a lay person. And if that priest you go to knows your spiritual life they can better help you overcome sins. The problem with modern day Catholicism is that to much of the priest’s duties have been taken away from them. They need to keep the parish numbers down by building smaller parishes, so the clergy can better assist their parishinors. Why doesn’t these lay people who learn so much about canon law, scripture, etc… Basically Catholic apologetics. Become priests or nuns?. Pretty sad when these people know more than the clergy does. Is it because they can’t get married?.

Can I ask why? There are many lay people who are quite qualified to be spiritual directors. They have the education, the years of training and supervision, the skill, and are very spiriutally mature. Relativly few priests are actually trained as spiritual directors, in fact they may get only one or at the most two courses on it. Good directors may get 3 or more years of training and then participate in ongoing supervision. I know quite a few women and men who have gone throught this training and are well qualified and also very much sought out as directors. BTW my director happens to be a priest, who is trained as a director, but I have been directed by a lay person, so I know both sides.

 

[mynameismeg]

I’ve had several spiritual directors, and here has been my experience. Spiritual direction is all about deepening your relationship with God. Every aspect of your life that deals with your relationship with God comes up, including but not limited to: prayer life, vocation discernment, present job/schooling, current relationships, problems in the past that are effecting your relationship with Jesus, etc. Since all of these things are part of who you are, and when we receive the Eucharist, we not only receive the Body, Blood, Soul, and Divinity of Jesus, we also give Him our whole self as well, all these parts of who we are do come up. Generally you do most of the talking, and it helps just to get all of your thoughts and all of your experiences out because it’s easier for you to process it that way. Spiritual directors then usually ask follow up questions, encourage you to pray more about things that are still confusing, may offer insights that they have. Ultimately, the goal of spiritual direction is to determine how God is working in your life, and how you are responding, and how God is calling you to respond.

I have had both a priest and a nun for spiritual directors, and I loved having the priest because he would also hear my confession, which sin is an obstacle to our relationship with God. Plus, then you didn’t have to wait in line for confession on a Saturday.

I think that if you are looking for a spiritual director, you need to look at all of the available people first. If you already have a friendship with a priest or nun, they might be a good person to ask. If you don’t, keep in mind that your relationship with Jesus is extremely intimate, and you need to be comfortable with and trust your spiritual director with sometimes very personal matters. Someone who has a personality that you work well with and respect is a good choice. So, it may be your parish priest, and it may not, but I always liked to “shop around” a little bit, just getting to know the person first, before committing to spiritual direction with them. And do keep in mind, that you may have to change directors throughout your life as priests and nuns do get new assignments and sometimes have to move across the country, diocese, etc.