Spiritual Director

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Sooner87

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I’ve searched and can’t really find a straight answer, how does one go about getting a spiritual director?

I was also curious if someone who has one/is one could comment on how the relationship works.

Thanks!👍
 
Call your Diocesan office. They should have a listing of people who are certified Spiritual Directors. Also, any Retreat center (Jesuit, Franciscan, Cistercian, etc.) should have a couple on staff.
Spiritual Directors are people who help you grow in the path of holiness by suggesting good reading, inviting you to explore particular passages in the Bible to discuss together, to encourage you in ministry or life through prayerful means.
They are NOT a therapist.
If a person needs serious counseling, you are best served by a therapist or a priest.
They are also not confessors.
Some can be priests, but there are lay people that serve as Spiritual Directors. They are both male and female.
Some will tell you that no one but a Priest should be a Spiritual Director, but I believe that really is only true if you are already a priest and need a mentor/Director. But that’s my personal opinion.
When you find one and they agree to direct you, you will likely meet monthly or every other month. Sometimes people like to see them more often, but it’s not like buying a best friend. You need time to contemplate and work on whatever they advise for you.
God bless you on your journey.
 
That’s exactly what I was looking for. Thank you so much!👍
 
Sooner87 said:
I’ve searched and can’t really find a straight answer, how does one go about getting a spiritual director?

I was also curious if someone who has one/is one could comment on how the relationship works.

Thanks!👍
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I am a 2 year old convert now and have had the same desire for a spiritual director but am in such a remote area that it is hard to find, if not impossible.

IF you are in a bigger area (city) than I live you may want to check into Opus Dei as they are big on growth in holiness and spiritual direction. Google Opus Dei and go to their website (as there are many anti- Opus Dei sites)

Blessings in Him and Welcome Home!
mlz
 
phil19034 said:
Question based on what you said here… Do they charge a fee? Or are spiritual directors volunteers?

God Bless
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It depends on the director and how they support themselves. If they are supported by their parish or religious community they may not charge. If they are supporting themselves or their community (in other words, if this is how they make a living) they may charge. Those who charge often do so on a sliding scale so that no one is prevented from having a director for financial reasons.
 
Sooner87 said:
I was also curious if someone who has one/is one could comment on how the relationship works.
Click to expand...
I tried spiritual directors twice and both times was unsuccessful. I strongly advise you discern if you are safe before opening up too much.

The first time, I had a LOT of anger and was loosing my temper left right and center and wanted to change that. I went to a spiritual director who kept probing me to get mad at God. Finally out of exasperation I said ‘Fine I am mad at God’ to which she said ‘Finally it is time you admit it and get your anger out’ and she kept pushing my buttons. I never went back because I did not need another trigger

The second one was a retired teacher who basically wanted to do something with his free time. He did not tell me anything I didn’t already know. When I started to dwelve into deeper issues, he pounded the table. I never went back again

sadly, spiritual directors are not always good
 
SuscipeMeDomine said:
It depends on the director and how they support themselves. If they are supported by their parish or religious community they may not charge. If they are supporting themselves or their community (in other words, if this is how they make a living) they may charge. Those who charge often do so on a sliding scale so that no one is prevented from having a director for financial reasons.
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**Exactly! **
Mine is also a licensed Psychologist, and he charged me far less than his sessions would have cost if I had been seeing him in his “other” capacity in his “other” vocation.
There were times when I was really short and called to cancel, and he always said NONSENSE! Come in…let’s chat.
My friend who just got her Masters In Spiritual Direction from a Jesuit University said they were told to gracefully accept fees, but to never outright ask fro a set amount. So I guess it couldn’t hurt to ask up front what the fees would be. Just as you would for anything else. Good luck.
 
I went to my priest and explained to him I was discerning a vocation and needed a SD. I asked if he knew of any good priests for such and he directed me to one, who is now my SD.
 
My main spiritual director is a religious I met in college and we’ve kept contact for 5 years now. Since I do not live close to him anymore, I’ve contacted my parish priest and had local spiritual direction as well. I’ve also had religious sisters be momentary spiritual directors when visiting their order during spiritual/vocational retreats.

My main spiritual director is one in whom I can be completely open with, who knows and understands my past and my current path, and one who can identify my spirituality. As he is a religious, he has a deep prayer life and tends to understand the inner workings of the Holy Spirit on the soul, mind, and body. To me, he is part medical psychologist (though he is not one) and part spiritual psychologist (as a priest), as we tend to discuss a lot about the connection between the physical life and the spiritual life (aka spirituality). He doesn’t charge me for his advice, but instead asks for prayers, which in itself I guess is some spiritual fee.

Pray for a good one 🙂 I recommend religious spiritual directors, as they do tend to be more focused on the spiritual, but it depends on your reasons to have one. Might take time, but he/she is worth the wait.
 
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