Spiritual Director?

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Madalynne

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I’m 17 years old, and I’ve been considering the religious life for quite some time. I was speaking to the vocations director of the order I’m interested in about going on their vocation retreat, as we were talking she asked if I had any spiritual direction. When I answered no, she seemed disappointed.
I also seen much of the advice given to those considering religious life to get themselces a spiritual director.

The reason I hadn’t gone to my parish priest, is because he is very un-personal, and he’s also Indian, which makes it hard to understand him, and hard to make myself understood.
I have no problem going to our other priest, it’s just that I hadn’t thought of it before. :o

Anyways, so my question is: how do I go about getting a spiritual director? I’m painfully shy, so it’s not easy for my to just approach a priest or someone without knowing exactly what I need from him. So what do I need from him?

This must sound so silly, I apologize, but I’m really conflicted, I’ve e-mailed the voactions director a week ago about this and haven’t recieved a reply, so I’m asking the friendly internet strangers. 😉
 
Michael_Mary said:
Therein lies the answer to your question, my dear friend.
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You must not have read the rest of my post.
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Madalynne:
Anyways, so my question is: how do I go about getting a spiritual director? I’m painfully shy, so it’s not easy for my to just approach a priest or someone without knowing exactly what I need from him. So what do I need from him?
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You could perhaps ring up an Order of religious brothers and priests and ask them if they do spiritual direction. If they perchance dont, then I am sure they can direct you to a place which may be able to help. The other alternative is to ring your diocesan offices and ask how you would go about finding a spiritual director.

May God be with you and keep you…Barb:)
 
Pray for God to send you the spiritual director HE wants you to have, but I would also ask your vocations director if they would have any suggestiosn, just make sure they are a good orthodox Priest. God Bless you.
 
Hello Madalynne,
Spiritual direction may sound like a big word, but is a helpful thing for people who are serious in the spiritual journey, like you are.

A spiritual director or spiritual companion -there are different names- is a person with whom you can share the most personal things than happen in your life. In a way is like a very close friend, with the difference that there is reciprocity with a friend (the friend also tells you their things) where there is not such with a spiritual director.

A spiritual director is a person who will listen to whatever is happening in your life and you want to talk about -whether is bothering you, is important to you, is something that atracts or repels you, your desires, hopes, your prayer life -or not- etc.
The listening is not one of curiosity but one of “reading in between lines”, together with you, where and how is God present and acting and leading you in your life. It is not the spiritual director who “directs” you and your life, but s/he helps you find out what God is already inviting and moving you towards.

This means that you need to find a person you can trust, and a person you can share with, that you feel comfortable with.
The reason I hadn’t gone to my parish priest, is because he is very un-personal, and he’s also Indian, which makes it hard to understand him, and hard to make myself understood.
I have no problem going to our other priest, it’s just that I hadn’t thought of it before. :o
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This is very fine. You don’t have to go to your parish priest for spiritual direction. The freedom to chose the spiritual director is so important that even the Council documents -Vatican II- reminds everyone of that. You are always free to choose the person, to try how it works, and to end the relationship if you don’t feel you “connect” or whatever. That freedom is sacred. But also is important to be honest and once you find and try the person to stick with s/he whether in ups or downs.
Anyways, so my question is: how do I go about getting a spiritual director? I’m painfully shy, so it’s not easy for my to just approach a priest or someone without knowing exactly what I need from him. So what do I need from him?
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There are many women and men spiritual directors. Ìf you are thinkning of a vocation to religious life, you might look for a religious priest-brother/sister to help you in the discerment.

Of course the most important thing to do to find a spiritual director is to pray for that, and to be open and “alert” as to who do you know or you could know or shows up in your way.

I’ll be praying for you and with you. And don’t be afraid but rejoice!!! 🙂 Jesus is with you in this, and you also have a Guardian Angel .:angel1:

Hope this is of some help. Peace be with you!
 
How about going to confession at different parishes? If you find a confessor who you feel comfortable with, after a few times (I know the first time with a new confessor can be intimidating) you might ask if you could make an appointment with him for spiritual direction.

Next, I would say, if you don’t feel comfortable with a person, don’t use them as a director. I,myself, have a hard time talking about my spiritual life with people. Also, if you’re not really sure what direction is all about, be sure to tell the person that you need some help that way too.
 
Rebelecka said:
How about going to confession at different parishes? If you find a confessor who you feel comfortable with, after a few times (I know the first time with a new confessor can be intimidating) you might ask if you could make an appointment with him for spiritual direction.

Next, I would say, if you don’t feel comfortable with a person, don’t use them as a director. I,myself, have a hard time talking about my spiritual life with people. Also, if you’re not really sure what direction is all about, be sure to tell the person that you need some help that way too.
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Good directors will take on a new directee on a trial basis. If after a few sessions it doesn’t seem to be a good fit then either the director or directee should be free to say so. One good idea is to go on a directed silent retreat, one where you meet with a director as opposed to one that has conferences. In this case you are not committed to a director but also, if you tell them it is your first time in direction, they will explain the process to you. But since the OP is only 17 this might not work for her.
 
I’m sort of in the same boat. I have a spiritual director, but he is not very in tune with my spiritual needs. I feel called to join the Priestly Fraternity of the Saint Peter, but my Spiritual Director, despite being a good man, was ordained around 1968, and is sometimes a little contrary about Tradition and absolute obedience to the magiesterium, the two great charisms of the FSSP.

Finding a mentor is tough, all right.
 
keep looking, keep praying. keep going to your current SD. bring it up and talk to him about it openly. they won’t take offense. keep praying about it, it’ll come to you.
 
  1. Read St. Faustina’s Diary! It’s an amazing treasure left for us!. (Also, there is a part where she speaks in detail about spiritual direction- it’s eye opening!)
  2. Pray ardently about it. Make a heartfelt novena! God wants you to come to HIM about this- He will guide you!
 
Madalynne said:
You must not have read the rest of my post.
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Approach him as you have approached us. Tell him what you told us. He will know what “spiritual direction” is for a young person discerning religious life.

Pray that the Lord will send you the spiritual director you need. And keep in mind that if your vocation is really from God, He will give you the guts to make this contact.
 
Mariah1225 said:
  1. Read St. Faustina’s Diary! It’s an amazing treasure left for us!. (Also, there is a part where she speaks in detail about spiritual direction- it’s eye opening!)
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can you tell me exactly where it is?
 
My suggestion would be to try and find a Religious sister who does spiritual direction.

Most parish priests are very busy, and to be brutally honest, most of them do not have training in providing spiritual direction.

Some seminaries and several Catholic universities have programs that provide training / certification in spiritual direction.

Good places to find spiritual directors are motherhouses of various orders, monasteries and so forth. Usually several members of the order provide spiritual direction, and many of them, as their primary profession.

God bless,
 
Diaconia said:
My suggestion would be to try and find a Religious sister who does spiritual direction.

Most parish priests are very busy, and to be brutally honest, most of them do not have training in providing spiritual direction.

Some seminaries and several Catholic universities have programs that provide training / certification in spiritual direction.

Good places to find spiritual directors are motherhouses of various orders, monasteries and so forth. Usually several members of the order provide spiritual direction, and many of them, as their primary profession.

God bless,
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This can be a good source but it can also be a poison well. The truth is that most parish priests don’t have training and some religious do but that training is not likely to be magisterium faithful. The key, if you want to go to a religious, is to determine the faithfulness of the order and then to verify that the particular monastery is faithful. If they are part of the National Coalition of American Nuns or the Leadership Conference of Women Religious
you will find poison in the well.

Here’s a better link for posts on how to find an select a director.
 
@Lifeisawesome,

Thanks for the link! I really appreciated mining that website (RCSpiritualDirection.com) and have already ordered the book Navigating the Interior Life by Dan Burke and Father Bartunek.

Blessings for sharing it here!
 
Find a priest who is not your parish priest and one that does not hear your confessions. Start a dialogue with a priest who is also a member of an order, but not an order that is
the same has yours (ie: if your entering a Franciscan order, find a Dominican,etc.). This will help you being understood with the contexts of the situations you may find yourself in while in the order.

*Do not ever confide to the spiritual director of the order you will be joining until you are professed, or taken vows. *

More on this last recommendation.

That being said, I know orders see nothing wrong with this dual role, but it is obvious that it is advantageous to the Fraternity. In an autonomous order where the SD also receives personal information from a member, I feel it is inappropriate for the SD to be a member of an elective council on matters of a vote to profession. In my view it is conflict of interest. A good fraternal SD who also takes on a pastoral charge should in the least bow out of the elective process, no matter how positive or negative he feels about the individual,or, at least tell the individual beforehand what his state will be in the relationship. It is a matter of principle.

I feel it would be difficult or impossible for most to segregate information that does not impute the individual as such, but may have nebulous implications in the order as member. If the SD had no attachments to the order, then the individual could confidently work on his issues on the side.

The Church also frowns on these duel roles for SD.
 
Madalynne said:
I’m 17 years old, and I’ve been considering the religious life for quite some time. I was speaking to the vocations director of the order I’m interested in about going on their vocation retreat, as we were talking she asked if I had any spiritual direction. When I answered no, she seemed disappointed.
I also seen much of the advice given to those considering religious life to get themselces a spiritual director.

The reason I hadn’t gone to my parish priest, is because he is very un-personal, and he’s also Indian, which makes it hard to understand him, and hard to make myself understood.
I have no problem going to our other priest, it’s just that I hadn’t thought of it before. :o

Anyways, so my question is: how do I go about getting a spiritual director? I’m painfully shy, so it’s not easy for my to just approach a priest or someone without knowing exactly what I need from him. So what do I need from him?

This must sound so silly, I apologize, but I’m really conflicted, I’ve e-mailed the voactions director a week ago about this and haven’t recieved a reply, so I’m asking the friendly internet strangers. 😉
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One thing I should mention, not all priests are trained to be spiritual directors. You have to find one that has the training. I know that at vocations.org they list a link to a website that lists all the registered spiritual directors in the united states and their contact information.

Getting over the fact that you are shy, is something I had to do myself. I was shy enough that I didn’t get a spiritual director until I entered college and had been discerning since the time that I started high school. Pray for courage.

God Bless and good luck!
 
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