M
MIKEHARE1
Guest
I have been increasing my daily reading of the bible quite a bit as of late (last 4 months). I find myself mowing through book after book of the NT. A TON of great insights and things along the way and more areas to explore and re-read. However, I am in constant pain leading up to my wedding day here soon ( It seems so many challenges have reared-up since we have been planning this wonderfull event in our lives) due to a herniated disc in my back. I recently read a passage that stated “seek and you shall find, Knock and the doors will be opened, ask and it shall be given”. So I took action and reasearched my condition online (knocking on the door so to speak). I have since been exploring/researching threapies to hopefully avoid surgery and heal my condition or at least find a suitable surgical option. My technical knowledge about the anatomy of the spine has increased to (seriously) the level of my physician, but recently my options were clarified for me by my team of doctors and they all are telling me I must have surgery and that therapy of another kind either isnt going to work, or in the case of some advanced therapies are years away from reality. I am distraught and dont understand why these doors havent opened. How can I understand what to do with this pain? and how can I understand gods plan? How can I get god to draw near to me and communicate through the holy spirit in my heart in order to guide me through this time? I honestly feel as though my “cup of suffering” is too much for me to bear and all sorts of thoughts of god punishing me for past sins and things like that are making me feel lost and distanced from god. I have faith god exists, I have faith Jesus is my savior and that he died for me. But I dont feel god close to me and want to take action in order for that to change. I have repented and confessed my sins. I am humble and simply seeking to realize gods plan here - please help