Spiritual envy

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mymamamary

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Dear Forum

I have been recently struggling with something called Spiritual Envy. I get the tempation to envy, but as my Priests have always told me: Have recourse to prayer. Meaning if I get the tempation to envy and I pray asking the LORD JESUS to bless the person(s) so that I will not give in. It is rough for me, My feelings suggest otherwise yet I pray. I’m so scared that I give in that Recieving Our LORD in the EUCHARIST is a fight for me, and what is a normally intimatley joyous occasion turns bitter and dry. I dont want to give in, I want to mantain my soul squeaky-clean yet I hate being tempted like this. I dont know if I will end up damned. I feel dirty and sinful, not worthy of anything. I know I come onto this forum with many joys and sorrows, yet as a Catholic, I beseech you dear readers, as fellow Brothers and Sisters in the Faith, to show your compassion.

Am I doomed for hell becuase of this?? I feel as if this tempation is “raping” my will. My feelings go contrary to my prayers and I dont know what to do.

(The temptation is spiritual envy)
 
mymamamary said:
Dear Forum

I have been recently struggling with something called Spiritual Envy. I get the tempation to envy, but as my Priests have always told me: Have recourse to prayer. Meaning if I get the tempation to envy and I pray asking the LORD JESUS to bless the person(s) so that I will not give in. It is rough for me, My feelings suggest otherwise yet I pray. I’m so scared that I give in that Recieving Our LORD in the EUCHARIST is a fight for me, and what is a normally intimatley joyous occasion turns bitter and dry. I dont want to give in, I want to mantain my soul squeaky-clean yet I hate being tempted like this. I dont know if I will end up damned. I feel dirty and sinful, not worthy of anything. I know I come onto this forum with many joys and sorrows, yet as a Catholic, I beseech you dear readers, as fellow Brothers and Sisters in the Faith, to show your compassion.

Am I doomed for hell becuase of this?? I feel as if this tempation is “raping” my will. My feelings go contrary to my prayers and I dont know what to do.

(The temptation is spiritual envy)
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Welcome to the club! ( or the hard path to righteousness) If you are struggling with this and recognize it as a sin you can be sure it is the Holy Spirit working in you. I bet a few years ago you wouldn’t have even thought about it! Remember it is Christ who is leading you on this path and that you are precious in His eyes! Keep you eyes fixed on Him, Thank and Praise Him for the struggle, and never despair. Ask Him for Hope and Endurance!
 
No, you aren’t damned. Remember not to give in. Try, try, try. Pray, pray, pray.
 
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