Spiritual Father/Director for RC?

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What happens in the US that no one find a Spiritual Director? One of the priests of my parish offered me to be my SD when I said to him I was dicerning, and here priests in general (and some elder sisters and lay persons) are generally predisposed to be SD.

What happens there that no priest or religious wants to be a SD?
 
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HI George, I am looking for accountability, answers to specific questions that come up re the spiritual, and guidance. Since our lives are so fluid things come up from.time to time. I have really good Catholic friends who I trust but at times I need the guidance of a priest, not someone without faculties.
 
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That might be a challenge (especially finding a priest), since so many priests have so many other responsibilities of spiritual fatherhood in their parish. Many are overworked.

My SD actually is a priest – but I think I’m the only spiritual directee he’s ever had, and he’s crazy busy and never intended to have one. It just happened to be the right fit and God guided us to it.

Have you considered asking your local priest for a recommendation as to how to find a SD? If you’d trust a certain priest to be your SD, maybe you can trust him to assign you a different one 🙂

(In answer to your original question, I would strongly suggest not seeking a SD from the Orthodox. Not that any individual Orthodox may not be lovely (I pray we’ll have full communion with them one day!) but because in the meantime, they’re not in communion with Rome, and it seems ominous and somehow risky to me to choose a spiritual director whose own internal spiritual compass guided them to a different Church.)
 
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Hi Alb. Spiritual directors are always availability to those discerning the priesthood. We’re not lacking there. Tje lack comes when we need a spiritual director for the LAITY. It’s as if there’s a memo that went out that said SD is not that important or necessary for them, so leave it be.

I’ve reached out two 2 dioceses and neither has anyone or has resources for spiritual direction for the laity, it’s really too bad and sad that people who want to be guided cannot be guided. Wow.

PS: I prefer to have a priest for SD, not a sister or the laity because of faculties.
 
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Hi Nathaniel. Yes, my former SD gave me a few suggestions. One I knew right away wouldn’t be available. The other suggested said he wasn’t available.
 
I’m sorry to hear about the lack of availability so far, brother. I’ll pray for you! Please keep praying and persevering, and trust that God is walking with you even now (even before He’s brought you to a human guide).
 
Oh, now I understand. However, I am not in seminary or anything, but the priest and I belong to the same Lay Movement so that might be a factor.

I still don’t understand how other diocesan priests could deny someone to be a SD, even if the person is an adult not discerning. I wish I could recommend someone but I am from another country…

In any case, I will pray for your search. May God find you a Spiritual Director to be closer to Him.
 
catholic1012015 said:
Can someone chime in on that, specifically on this, not on the process of finding one.
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I agree with what others have said about not seeking Orthodox spiritual direction if you are a Latin Catholic. The Theological differences between East & West would be difficult for you to overcome.

If I were you, I would check to see if there are any local Francisicans, Carmelites, Benedictines or Dominicans. You may not find a monastery (or convent depending on the order), but sometimes they have local churches and are not part of the diocese. They’re usually good for offering spiritual direction.

You can also check to see if there are any chapters of Third Orders in your area, they are part of the religious orders and would likely be able to help you find someone.

I hope you find someone!
 
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AlbMagno said:
I still don’t understand how other diocesan priests could deny someone to be a SD, even if the person is an adult not discerning. I wish I could recommend someone but I am from another country…
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This might definitely be a regional issue. In my region, for example, we have a severe priest shortage, with many cities entirely without a priest (so there are lay-led services most Sundays, with one priest gradually travelling between towns so they get a proper Mass on rare occasions), and the cities that do have priests, each priest may be responsible for multiple parishes (and all the needs of every single person in each parish, on top of hospital and prison visits, etc). Such priests literally don’t have enough hours in the day to reasonably commit to being an exclusive Spiritual Director for even one person. Much less could we expect them to accept everyone who approaches and asks them to be a SD (which is constant; priests are always getting this request).

Again, I don’t know where you live that you think it’s beyond comprehension how a priest could “deny someone to be a SD”… but where I live, it’s almost beyond comprehension to expect one to be an SD. Haha. (Acknowledging that I’m an exception since I do have a priest as SD; although one reason that works for us is we only chat for an hour, once every few months, by FaceTime, and he basically just tells me to keep doing what I’m doing because I’m independent and so far usually on the right track with things. Also when he first agreed, he had me do some of his work in exchange. Haha.)

Basically, I think this is one area where holy laypeople need to step up more. It’s not the only area. Our priests are overworked and too few people are becoming priests – in the meantime, the laypeople need to take on more responsibilities. Including SD service.
 
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catholic1012015 said:
HI George, I am looking for accountability, answers to specific questions that come up re the spiritual, and guidance. Since our lives are so fluid things come up from.time to time. I have really good Catholic friends who I trust but at times I need the guidance of a priest, not someone without faculties.
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Well, a Priest I know managed to engage a Spiritual Father, and obedience for him was strict. When he went to him for confession, he went and would be told through a translator what his sins were, what to do differently, and be given absolution and a re-structuring of his understanding, and would leave, without having said a word… But this kind of Spiritual Father is really really hard to find, and when identified, they do not easily consent to become one’s Spiritual Father… He would see him every few months…

You might do well to find someone who simply is knowledgable in the spiritual matters you are engaging - Someone who has walked the walk you are beginning to walk, at least further than you yet have done… And these are fairly rare, but more accessible, and will consent more easily to hearing your issues and sharing their experience in helpful ways…

These folks may or may not be priests - We have many Priests whose Spiritual Fathers are not Priests, but simple monks with Gifts… Or even lay people with Gifts… And Gifts differ from person to person, but indicate a degree of attainment… They are usually hidden by those who have them…

Accountability is normally a feature of your confessional Priest, and in the EOC at least, this comes through regular confession - The issue here being that the Priest needs to be developed to a degree that permits accountability… No small matter…

I did not understand your term “a priest, not someone without faculties.” Do you simply mean the Charism of being able to grant forgiveness of sins? But finding a brother/sister with similar spiritual intent to your own intent and developing a bond with him or her that is a kind of spiritual partnership might prove beneficial… Fluid lives normally need simple confession and repentance - The daily dramas in monasteries normally come with the obedience of prayer with labors, and the consequent confession of thoughts every day… A “spiritual partner” is someone who watches out for you as you do for them - Where you kind of “have each other’s back”, especially on matters of ‘going off the rails’ of spiritual deception… Finding THAT person is no small matter either… And spiritual deception, prelest, can happen easily, with bad consequences…

So may God bless your walk…

Good to see someone attending to important things…

geo
 
AlbMagno said:
I still don’t understand how other diocesan priests could deny someone to be a SD
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The confessional itself should provide functional direction, for in it you can ask questions involving direction… God can and does direct even through less experienced priests, if you pay attention… Spiritual Direction as a Father is a burden, however… It involves not mere advice, but spiritual intercession, monitoring, and understanding of the issues being dealt with and their resolutions…

geo
 
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Yes, I understand that approach. However, In my case at least it’s more independent though. I am the one who tries to discern and look at events in my life, trends, prayer, etc. and then I decide to reunite with my priest SD. He then gives me his feedback based in his formation, experience etc. but I am the one who decides what to apply and how much time passes between meeting etc.

Maybe in the eastern sidee of catholicism, with the strong focus you have in spiritual theology, spiritual direction has a more “methodic” approach.

And confession can also be a opportunity but there is the whole thing of making the others in the line wait 🤣
 
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AlbMagno said:
Maybe in the eastern side of catholicism, with the strong focus you have in spiritual theology, spiritual direction has a more “methodic” approach.
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Spiritual Direction is simply repentance - In learning by doing the turning away from self and the world and unto God… You will find precious few who know what to do after you have had a serious and personal encounter with God - You may remember Aquinas, and what he did, yes? He stopped teaching, and he stopped writing the Summa, and said: “All I have written is straw…” But at the beginning, a guy successfully married for 30 years can teach a guy with a new wife of 18 months and pregnant a whole lot about repentance in the marriage relationship… The cure of the soul is repentance… The divinization of the soul is God… There are priests who do not know repentance, and there are priests who do not know how to wage spiritual warfare…

Having a succinct question prepared for the Confessional, without dragging your confessor through a whole tale of toils and troubles, successes and failures, is helpful…

geo
 
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