Spiritual Father

[searn77]

What exactly is a Spiritual Father? Who can be a Spiritual Father? How important are they? How do you get one? Are they only for people in the Eastern Rite of Christianity (like Orthodox and Eastern Catholics)? Could you have a Spiritual Father that was not of your own rite?

I was just wondering this because I have been reading a lot of the threads and there are lots of mentions on consulting one’s spiritual father for answers. This has been brought up when one wants to recite the Jesus prayer (Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner). I don’t have a spiritual father so when I pray this on my prayer rope, I whisper it to myself by saying “Lord Jesus Christ” when I inhale. When I exhale I say “have mercy on me”. I have read that this is a breathing prayer and that shorter versions of the prayer like the one I say is acceptable. Is it okay that I didn’t consult a spiritual father? I’m not associated with any Church but have been to a few Greek Orthodox services and plan to go to some Roman Catholic and Byzantine Catholic services later this week (I’m researching what Church I want to be a part of). So is it even possible for me to have a spiritual father?

So overall, I’m just curious about spiritual fathers and if I’m saying the Jesus prayer appropriately.

 

[Abbendis]

I would suggest taking it easy on the Jesus Prayer, this is the advice of Abbot Chariton of Valamo - if you are interested in Eastern spirituality of both Eastern Catholics and Eastern Orthodox I highly suggest getting his book,
amazon.com/Art-Prayer-Orthodox-Anthology/dp/0571191657/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1227741375&sr=8-1

Usually your “starlets” (Slavic word for spiritual father) is your parish priest but can also be a priest-monk, monk, nun, or even a layperson. Regardless pray for one and God will send you one or bring you to one - that is what happened to me.

Latin Catholics have spiritual fathers too, but since I am not a Latin Catholic don’t know how they do it, their priests usually have extremely busy schedules. If you live by a Catholic monastery I you try visiting their for a while and see what happens.

 

[Deacon_Ed]

Just to provide some answers to your questions, a Spiritual Father is one who assists you in developing your spiritual life. Normally a Spiritual Father is a cleric;a bishop, priest or deacon or possibly a monastic who may or may not be a cleric. And, yes, one’s spiritual father may be from a different rite. I am a bi-ritual deacon (ordained for the Latin Church and currently serving both a Latin and Melkite parish) and my spiritual father is a Melkite priest. I serve as a spiritual father for both Latin and Melkite parishioners.

Yes, it is possible and, in fact, preferable, for a seeker to have a spiritual father. As for the Jesus prayer, be careful – saying the prayer is fine, but using some of the more nuanced practices (e.g., as a “breathing prayer”) really should be done only under the direction of a spiritual father.

Deacon Ed

 

[wynd]

saying the prayer is fine, but using some of the more nuanced practices (e.g., as a “breathing prayer”) really should be done only under the direction of a spiritual father.

I would add the qualifier “who has experience in this area of spirituality.”

 

[Eucharisted]

What exactly is a Spiritual Father? Who can be a Spiritual Father? How important are they? How do you get one? Are they only for people in the Eastern Rite of Christianity (like Orthodox and Eastern Catholics)? Could you have a Spiritual Father that was not of your own rite?

I was just wondering this because I have been reading a lot of the threads and there are lots of mentions on consulting one’s spiritual father for answers. This has been brought up when one wants to recite the Jesus prayer (Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner). I don’t have a spiritual father so when I pray this on my prayer rope, I whisper it to myself by saying “Lord Jesus Christ” when I inhale. When I exhale I say “have mercy on me”. I have read that this is a breathing prayer and that shorter versions of the prayer like the one I say is acceptable. Is it okay that I didn’t consult a spiritual father? I’m not associated with any Church but have been to a few Greek Orthodox services and plan to go to some Roman Catholic and Byzantine Catholic services later this week (I’m researching what Church I want to be a part of). So is it even possible for me to have a spiritual father?

So overall, I’m just curious about spiritual fathers and if I’m saying the Jesus prayer appropriately.

The correct term is spiritual director, and they are God’s gift. You don’t just choose a spiritual director - God gvies one to you if He knows it is best for you to have one. Not everyone needs one, so not everyone receives one from the Lord. Just like a victim soul is not made by the soul but is chosen by God, so too it is with the director. If God wants you to have one, He will let you know.

 

[S_J_Thaikattil]

What exactly is a Spiritual Father? Who can be a Spiritual Father? How important are they? How do you get one? Are they only for people in the Eastern Rite of Christianity (like Orthodox and Eastern Catholics)? Could you have a Spiritual Father that was not of your own rite?

I was just wondering this because I have been reading a lot of the threads and there are lots of mentions on consulting one’s spiritual father for answers. This has been brought up when one wants to recite the Jesus prayer (Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner). I don’t have a spiritual father so when I pray this on my prayer rope, I whisper it to myself by saying “Lord Jesus Christ” when I inhale. When I exhale I say “have mercy on me”. I have read that this is a breathing prayer and that shorter versions of the prayer like the one I say is acceptable. Is it okay that I didn’t consult a spiritual father? I’m not associated with any Church but have been to a few Greek Orthodox services and plan to go to some Roman Catholic and Byzantine Catholic services later this week (I’m researching what Church I want to be a part of). So is it even possible for me to have a spiritual father?

So overall, I’m just curious about spiritual fathers and if I’m saying the Jesus prayer appropriately.

A spiritual guide ( IMHO a better term than “Spiritual Father” or “Spiritual Director”) is one who gives you one-to-one support on your spiritual journey. It is the Holy Spirit who leads you to God through Jesus, not your spiritual guide. It is important to keep that in mind. The spiritual guide is like a finger that points to the moon - God through Jesus. The spiritual guide merely helps you to stay on course, encourages your spiritual growth, comforts you when you are troubled (the spiritual journey can be hard - even boring and empty at times), clarifies spiritual matters when you are confused, and warns you when you are going along a wrong path. The spiritual journey is not without its dangers, and one can get completely lost, or make out of it a self-enhancing rather than God enhancing journey…all without being aware of it. The spiritual guide, who would have made his own journey over a long period before taking on the task of guiding anyone else, would be best placed to detect such things in a spiritual beginner.

Catholic monasteries, Benedictine and Carmelite, are good places to look for spiritual guides in the contemplative tradition that you seek. Books by Fr John Main would be of help to you.

Fr Thomas Keating has a US-wide network that might be of use to you, because you could find a group near your area to join. Even if the Fr Thomas Keating group does a slightly different kind of Christian meditation, it is very similar to the Jesus Prayer meditation you are doing.

An English Benedictine monk, Dom Bede Griffiths OSB, also prayed the Jesus Prayer as his mantra, although he did not follow the breathing technique so rigidly.

The important thing about choosing a spiritual guide is that they should have made the journey themselves over a reasonable period of time - a few years. And they should be persons of integrity and genuine love in real life. A theoretical spirituality is useless. Being a theologian or scholar of religion is different from being a spiritual guide. A spiritual guide may or may not be a scholar. A religious scholar is not fit to be a spiritual guide if they have made no personal spiritual journey. Real spirituality transforms the person’s heart and life. Real love and real compassion in action is a mark of God dwelling in a human being. Even the devil can quote Scripture for his own purposes, so knowledge alone is no proof of a person’s relationship with God.

There is a saying, “When the pupil is ready, the master appears.” Since God does not let a master into your room through the roof of your house, you must search for the master. The Holy Spirit will guide your search, if you let Him. Asking the question on this forum is one such guidance. Continue your search until you find what is best for you, praying for guidance always. Remember you are searching for a deeper experience of God, and it is His greatest pleasure to help you in it, and offer you any kind of help through His willing servants.

 

[Eucharisted]

My apologies, I didn’t realize this was in the Eastern Catholicism thread when I made my comment.

 

[searn77]

My apologies, I didn’t realize this was in the Eastern Catholicism thread when I made my comment.

The only reason I posted this in the Eastern Catholic section is because I thought having a spiritual director was mostly popular in Eastern Catholicism. I personally don’t know if I want to be Roman Catholic, Byzantine Catholic, or Orthodox so that’s why I was asking about having a spiritual director in a different rite.

And also, can an Orthodox have a spiritual director that was Byzantine Catholic or vice versa?

 

[jmcrae]

The only reason I posted this in the Eastern Catholic section is because I thought having a spiritual director was mostly popular in Eastern Catholicism. I personally don’t know if I want to be Roman Catholic, Byzantine Catholic, or Orthodox so that’s why I was asking about having a spiritual director in a different rite.

And also, can an Orthodox have a spiritual director that was Byzantine Catholic or vice versa?

It is also very common for Latin Rite Catholics to have spiritual directors, too. It is best (if God wills it) to have a spiritual director who is also the priest that you go to for Confession. That way, you can deal with everything all at once.