Spiritual numbness towards Christ's Passion?

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Dorothy_Brown

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I don’t know why it is, but for as long as I can remember, I have struggled to fully contemplate the Passion of Christ, even when I watch it re-enactments of it (whether it be the movie of that title or a live performance, etc.). In spite of being a very emotional person, who cries at least once a week, my eyes remain dry a majority of the times I reflect on the Passion or the Sorrows of Mary… I just feel this numbness, almost as if I’ve grown so “used to” the notion of it, that it doesn’t astound me anymore 😦 I’ve tried considering it from several different angles (i.e. Jesus’ heart breaking because of His unrequited love for humanity, the idea that I myself scourged and crucified Him through sin, viewing my own physical pain as just a morsel of what He experienced, the truth that he took on the punishment that I rightly deserved, etc.), but I remain unmoved and un-sorrowful all the same. Don’t get me wrong— intellectually, I am appalled about what He had to suffer for us; intellectually, I have a deep gratitude and awe for what He did. However, it’s as if the sorrow of these mysteries has sunk into my mind, but has never fully sunk into my heart. Do any of you have suggestions or recommendations for why this may be an issue and/or how I can change this? Are there any devotions that might help me get past this spiritual numbness?
 
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I’m not really sure what to suggest except pray for you and hope someone else gives sound advice.
I did watch the Passion,I don’t know if I could again because it is like watching someone you know ,your best friend going through such agony :confused:
And for you.
God bless.
 
Imagine, a child, a baby more precisely a child that you particularly like to be skinned alive by a sadist. Or your father, or someone you love, who is particularly subject to great torture. And believe that Jesus is more innocent than a baby, that he is your true Father, Mother, friend, brother, child etc. (“he who does my will, he is my father, my mother, etc.”) and that he suffered worse than you can imagine or conceive, and that it was because of your sins that he suffered so much. Imagine that this suffering is not past but present …
 
I would suggest reading Blessed Anne Catherine Emmerich’s visions, the Dolorous Passion of Our Lord Jesus Christ. I found this to be probably the most beautiful thing I have ever read.
 
Pray, and don’t worry about it too much. God will lift it when He wants too. Let Him guide you. Maybe start the First Friday devotions which have the Holy hour on the garden of Gethsemane. One of the promises is an advancement in spirituality. But I’d say don’t be upset if you don’t find tears or sadness, those are God’s gift, just let them come when and if they do, in the mean time, just meditate from the intellectual viewpoint (God gave you that too) so use that one and see what you can get out of that rather than worrying too much about what you don’t have. God bless you.
 
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