Spiritual Questions

[frank2127]

First off Easter Blessing to you all!!! He has risen!

I was wondering what I could do, become part of the the inner workings of the Church.

1.) I cannot become a priest. I am divorced with an 11 year old child that I pay child support to, so becoming a priest is out for me. plus I am in medical debt for a lifetime that I will never escape.I’m poor and will be paying this off for a lifetime. I was raised by an abusive father who taught me wrongly about how the world works.

2.) becoming a brother/monk is out ( see obligation to a child above)

3.) becoming a secular Francisican is out because I cannot afford the traveling it takes to meet with the group (my closest one is 12 hours away, yes I live in the middle of nowhere)

4.) however it’s not out that I could be a professor at a Catholic university, but I am 39 and by the time that could happen I’d be in my 50s as I have to work and could only attend part time.

5.) I am not very good with the domestic family life, God has called me to be something else other than that. I have prayed and searched my soul and it does not work well for me.

6.) It’s not in god’s will that I try for a Deacon position.

7.) I am a published writer and artist, perhaps that’s gods calling for me, but there’s something deeper and I don’t understand it.

In conclusion, I don’t understand what God wants from me, but it’s something deep seeded within me, I am trying to understand it. I am not trying to have an ego, meaning I don’t believe God has me above other people, like I have some special quest, but I feel he has something more for me to do. I am seeker, a wanderer always drawn to prayer and love of fellow man. I have lived both sides of the aisle, meaning the deepest cellars of hell and the deepest seeds of faith…much like the story of Chesterson, or Merton I would say.

Anyhow, I am rambling. I want to devote myself to god in a deep and meaningful way, more than just what a Catholic is expected to do in society. I have screwed up a lot of my life, I don’t want to miss out on the blessings any longer.

Bless you. Pray for me, as I will pray for you

“All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.”
― St. Francis of Assisi.

 

[Edward_H]

First off Easter Blessing to you all!!! He has risen!

I was wondering what I could do, become part of the the inner workings of the Church.

1.) I cannot become a priest. I am divorced with an 11 year old child that I pay child support to, so becoming a priest is out for me. plus I am in medical debt for a lifetime that I will never escape.I’m poor and will be paying this off for a lifetime. I was raised by an abusive father who taught me wrongly about how the world works.

2.) becoming a brother/monk is out ( see obligation to a child above)

3.) becoming a secular Francisican is out because I cannot afford the traveling it takes to meet with the group (my closest one is 12 hours away, yes I live in the middle of nowhere)

4.) however it’s not out that I could be a professor at a Catholic university, but I am 39 and by the time that could happen I’d be in my 50s as I have to work and could only attend part time.

5.) I am not very good with the domestic family life, God has called me to be something else other than that. I have prayed and searched my soul and it does not work well for me.

6.) It’s not in god’s will that I try for a Deacon position.

7.) I am a published writer and artist, perhaps that’s gods calling for me, but there’s something deeper and I don’t understand it.

In conclusion, I don’t understand what God wants from me, but it’s something deep seeded within me, I am trying to understand it. I am not trying to have an ego, meaning I don’t believe God has me above other people, like I have some special quest, but I feel he has something more for me to do. I am seeker, a wanderer always drawn to prayer and love of fellow man. I have lived both sides of the aisle, meaning the deepest cellars of hell and the deepest seeds of faith…much like the story of Chesterson, or Merton I would say.

Anyhow, I am rambling. I want to devote myself to god in a deep and meaningful way, more than just what a Catholic is expected to do in society. I have screwed up a lot of my life, I don’t want to miss out on the blessings any longer.

Bless you. Pray for me, as I will pray for you

“All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.”
― St. Francis of Assisi.

Ok…good pursuit. First why do you want to spend your life on the “inner workings of the Church”… ?

Most of us are called to serve Him right where He put is…to sanctify the world…neighborhoods, hardware stores, newspapers, accounting companies, little league teams.

 

[frank2127]

i don’t know why, but there has to be a reason why i am always called upon, but yet always tormented. i don’t know what the torment is, if it’s done to the self, or other worldly. I am not saying anything is wrong with working in a hardware store etc. I have been and always will be blue collar. maybe I need to build and work and write about my faith like Thomas Merton, until, my daughter is of legal age to live on her own, then maybe I could be something like a brother. maybe my god given gift of art is my calling. maybe I have no calling at all, other than roaming the earth and basking in god’s love. I dunno, but I continue to try and be open about it, and hear god’s calling. this may sound “Hollywood” to some, but i feel like there’s a massive battle for my soul right now, more than anytime in my life. I relate to the story of Padre Pio, how he battled out loud with demons. I,too, feel this way at times. this is why, at 39 I have decided to finally get my Catholic Conformation, where I will take the name of Pio. Anyhow, I have a meeting with the parish priest on April 18th to talk about it, from there, who knows. but i will continue my quest.

 

[Edward_H]

i don’t know why, but there has to be a reason why i am always called upon, but yet always tormented. i don’t know what the torment is, if it’s done to the self, or other worldly. I am not saying anything is wrong with working in a hardware store etc. I have been and always will be blue collar. maybe I need to build and work and write about my faith like Thomas Merton, until, my daughter is of legal age to live on her own, then maybe I could be something like a brother. maybe my god given gift of art is my calling. maybe I have no calling at all, other than roaming the earth and basking in god’s love. I dunno, but I continue to try and be open about it, and hear god’s calling. this may sound “Hollywood” to some, but i feel like there’s a massive battle for my soul right now, more than anytime in my life. I relate to the story of Padre Pio, how he battled out loud with demons. I,too, feel this way at times. this is why, at 39 I have decided to finally get my Catholic Conformation, where I will take the name of Pio. Anyhow, I have a meeting with the parish priest on April 18th to talk about it, from there, who knows. but i will continue my quest.

One approach to Catholic spirituality for us lay people is to serve God in and among the ordinary everyday things, eschewing a clericalism for most of us. We can serve God by offering everything we do for Him, by doing every little thing very well, in a spirit of divine filiation - we are His children. We can offer our work, our set backs, every annoyance, all our efforts…and God can use these things in ways unimaginable to us. We sanctify the world with Him.

"No, my children! We cannot lead a double life. We cannot be like schizophrenics, if we want to be Christians. There is only one life, made of flesh and spirit. And it is that life which has to become, in both body and soul, holy and filled with God: we discover the invisible God in the most visible and material things.

There is no other way, my daughters and sons: either we learn to find our Lord in ordinary, everyday life, or we shall never find him. That is why I tell you that our age needs to give back to matter and to the apparently trivial events of life their noble, original meaning. It needs to place them at the service of the Kingdom of God; it needs to spiritualize them, turning them into a means and an occasion for a continuous meeting with Jesus Christ."

• Escriva

 

[celtspirit]

i don’t know why, but there has to be a reason why i am always called upon, but yet always tormented. i don’t know what the torment is, if it’s done to the self, or other worldly. I am not saying anything is wrong with working in a hardware store etc. I have been and always will be blue collar. maybe I need to build and work and write about my faith like Thomas Merton, until, my daughter is of legal age to live on her own, then maybe I could be something like a brother. maybe my god given gift of art is my calling. maybe I have no calling at all, other than roaming the earth and basking in god’s love. I dunno, but I continue to try and be open about it, and hear god’s calling. this may sound “Hollywood” to some, but i feel like there’s a massive battle for my soul right now, more than anytime in my life. I relate to the story of Padre Pio, how he battled out loud with demons. I,too, feel this way at times. this is why, at 39 I have decided to finally get my Catholic Conformation, where I will take the name of Pio. Anyhow, I have a meeting with the parish priest on April 18th to talk about it, from there, who knows. but i will continue my quest.

Frank may God guide you with his spirit, ask him for this continually,beg him for this.
I know there is a BATTLE for your soul, may Our Lord Jesus Christ confirm you in your faith and shield you with his mercy. God be with you Frank+

 

[PeacePilgrim66]

Surrendering what I think I am capable of, has opened more doors than those that I thought I could access.

I have been praying the rosary for 4 years, as a non-catholic, relatively non-christian. Love has opened not only my heart, but my life and my current service. 1) I am a registered nurse working with the elderly and have become an advocate for their access to rosary beads and reminders for those that have forgotten. 2) I have begun handcrafting rosaries and making them available to those that want them, to pray for peace. (See Craig’s list Free @ Maine). Also to missions around the world and next door.

I have felt the curiosity toward priesthood/monastic life since I was a teen. It has been a growing awareness of the spiritual in my life. I did missionary service as a young adult and after wandering in the desert for 20 years, have now rediscovered my Father’s Love as the prodigal son. I have no idea what is next. But I do know it is going to be filled with LOVE.

Every day as I pray the rosary, there is a new level of life that I find to discover. In each surrender I discover an opportunity that I couldnt see before the surrender. When I have looked for God’s Will…out there…I have found desert. When I accept His love and that I am in His will right now, I find that the next right thing, is right there in front of me.

Let go and Let God.

Dave W.

 

[JimR-OCDS]

It’s more probable that God wants you right where you are.

If God wants you to move in a certain direction, the doors will open otherwise being they’re closed right now because of your obligations, this is all God is asking of you.

Prayer is the only way to learn to surrender to the flow of life and allow God’s will to be done, according to him, not according to our own agendas.

Jim

 

[Edward_H]

Surrendering what I think I am capable of, has opened more doors than those that I thought I could access.

I have been praying the rosary for 4 years, as a non-catholic, relatively non-christian. Love has opened not only my heart, but my life and my current service. 1) I am a registered nurse working with the elderly and have become an advocate for their access to rosary beads and reminders for those that have forgotten. 2) I have begun handcrafting rosaries and making them available to those that want them, to pray for peace. (See Craig’s list Free @ Maine). Also to missions around the world and next door.

I have felt the curiosity toward priesthood/monastic life since I was a teen. It has been a growing awareness of the spiritual in my life. I did missionary service as a young adult and after wandering in the desert for 20 years, have now rediscovered my Father’s Love as the prodigal son. I have no idea what is next. But I do know it is going to be filled with LOVE.

Every day as I pray the rosary, there is a new level of life that I find to discover. In each surrender I discover an opportunity that I couldnt see before the surrender. When I have looked for God’s Will…out there…I have found desert. When I accept His love and that I am in His will right now, I find that the next right thing, is right there in front of me.

Let go and Let God.

Dave W.

Wonderful points and encouragement. God Bless.

 

[Oren]

I converted to Catholicism in 2003 from being raised as a ‘none’. Ever since then I’ve had a lot of despair and temptation against God because I feel like He has never told me what He wants to do with my life. I’ve never had a calling to anything and I’ve never wanted to do anything in the secular arena either like a job or career or even a hobby. I would warn you against seeking too much in this way so as to weaken your faith. Maybe that’s not a danger for you, but I’m just letting you know that it can bring a lot of weakness to faith to seek for a calling and never find one. I still don’t have a call to anything either as a job or as a wife or as a religious. I’m basically just in a limbo and it’s very painful. But, every time I start trying to pray to get a call to something I get very depressed and my faith is weakened. However, if I just live every day in prayer and just trying to gaze on Jesus as much as possible and live in peace and trust, everything gets better. I’m not saying not to ask Jesus what your call is…but maybe your call right now is just to go deeper into prayer and become holier and then you’ll be ready for a call. Especially if you have a lot of anxiety connected to trying to find out what your call is…that is a sure sign that it is a temptation. Just some thoughts.