Spiritual Suffering

[xAlisonx]

I can feel the symptoms of another spiritual depression coming on, and instead of wallowing in my own misery, I wanted to post on here [please forgive me for posting so much] and explain how I’m feeling, and see if there’s anyone who feels the same way and/or has any advice they can offer me.

Ever since I became a reborn Christian on November 22, 2007, at the age of fifteen, I’ve endured much spiritual suffering, much more than I ever thought was normal. The Bible speaks of having joy, peace and hope, yet most of the time I find myself wallowing in despair, self-condemnation, self-loathing and terror of Purgatory and Hell. The Bible speaks of trusting in God, yet most of the time I find myself despising my own worthlessness and tendencies to lukewarmness and failure. This doesn’t feel like suffering sent to make me a better, holier person—it feels like suffering that I put myself through because I’m simply not good enough for Heaven, or for anything at all.

I apologize if I’ve said this all before. It’s just a recurring theme in my times of depression, and I don’t know how I can get over this. I’m afraid that I’m sinning by doubting God’s mercy—in fact, I probably am—but it just kills me inside when I think of how unforgivable and worthless I feel most of the time. I find myself constantly doubting that God could ever love someone like me, and then hate myself for not trusting Him more. I constantly fall into sin and shame and imperfection, and whenever I try to start a new beginning, I fall once more and can’t find the energy to get up again. I have many scars that haven’t yet been healed from my past darkness, and I don’t know how I can move forward in my spiritual life until I find some kind of healing. I am an extreme perfectionist, with a past of terrible mortal sins, and a present of constant failure and depression. I just don’t know how I can know the joy, hope and peace I’m supposed to, and how I can learn to trust in God’s mercy instead of despising my own … worthlessness. I feel worthless constantly, like I’m choking in my own skin. Maybe it’s because of all the things I read online about how God hated me when I was struggling with homosexuality a couple years ago—I used to have feelings for girls, and I read so much about God despising my worthless, disgusting soul that their words have become a part of me, even now that I no longer struggle with homosexuality. I know that God doesn’t hate anyone, but I feel as if I’m that exception. I feel as if all the weight of the world’s sins are on my back because I’m committing them all somehow. It makes no sense to any of you, probably, yet to my twisted, depressed mind and soul it makes perfect sense. I dream of becoming a Saint, not for the glory, but to please God. I feel that I have to perform constantly to make Him happy. Yet no good deed, no kind word, is ever enough, because it could never make up for my many sins and all the things that make me worthless, useless and a failure.

Please help me? x

 

[brigid12]

x,

I’m so sorry you’re feeling this way.:sad_yes: Yes, I’ve been there, off and on throughout the years, often when I wouldn’t accept His Forgiveness.
First I’d make sure that all that you are aware of as sin (venial or mortal) has been confessed.
Once that is taken care of (and don’t worry about it any more after absolution!), then say the Prayer to St. Michael a few times a day, pray the “Hail Mary” often, “talk” to your spiritual mother telling her just how you feel and asking for her help with her Son. Curl up in her arms and let her carry you to her Son for His help.

 

[Epistemes]

Hi Alisson,

I searched through all your recent posts, saw where you’ve had so many nice things to say to other people, and so many helpful things. I know you’re suffering, and I know what it’s like to suffer, but I think it’s time you ought to believe that you’re a good person.

You remain in my prayers.

 

[Trishie]

Dear Alison, I know that some of your anxiety is deeply rooted, and I’ll keep you warmly in my prayers, Love.

Saint Padre Pio wrote, “Pray, hope and do not worry. Worry is useless. God is merciful and will hear your prayer.” Jesus told Saint Gertrude, “Confidence [trust] alone easily obtains all things.”
“It gives me great pleasure when persons hope great things from Me, and I will grant them more than they expect.”

It’s best if we don’t concentrate too much on ourselves and our weaknesses.Saint Paul laments, frequently we fail to accomplish the good things that we intend. [Romans 7:19]

Yet when he called upon You to free him of a care that plagued him, You answered “**My grace is enough for you: my power is at its best in weakness.” **For this reason Paul chose to make his weakness his “special boast” to retain Your power over him, saying, “it is when I am weak that I am strong.” [2Corinthians 12:7-10]

Therefore, Father, “I am no longer trying for perfection by my own efforts…but I only want the perfection that comes through faith in Christ, and is from God and based on faith.” [Philippians 3:9] “For Christ is the resurrection and if we believe in him who redeems us from our sinful nature, even though we die, we will live, and whoever lives and believes in Him will never die.” [John 11:26]

Harvest
Beloved Jesus—from the compost of my sins, failures, faults and omissions please enrich the soil that nurtures the harvest that You prepare of my being and life—for Your delight, and for others’ benefit. From the flower and fruit of all grace and good sprung from You within me, please bountifully glorify Yourself and bless all whose lives touch mine!

 

[AveSantaMaria]

Dear Alison, maybe this will be comforting.

St. Teresa of Avila, One of the Three female Doctors of the Church, founder of the Discalced Carmelites of which St. Therese of Liseux was a member had a past. She entered the convent for the first time at age of eighteen, “through the total loss of my honour and the suspicion of my father” after an affair that she denied. He was afraid she would be unmarriageable. cs.drexel.edu/~gbrandal/Illum_html/Teresa.html

Teresa’s father was rigidly honest and pious, but he may have carried his strictness to extremes. Teresa’s mother loved romance novels but because her husband objected to these fanciful books, she hid the books from him. This put Teresa in the middle – especially since she liked the romances too. Her father told her never to lie but her mother told her not to tell her father. Later she said she was always afraid that no matter what she did she was going to do everything wrong. catholic.org/saints/saint.php?saint_id=208

… she led a fairly ordinary life, though she was convinced that she was a horrible sinner. As a teenager, she cared only about boys and clothes and flirting and rebelling – like other teenagers throughout the ages. When she was 16, her father decided she was out of control and sent her to a convent. At first she hated it but eventually she began to enjoy it – partly because of her growing love for God, and partly because the convent was a lot less strict than her father.

St. Augustine, one of the Doctors of the Church, he chaired the Synod of Hippo in the 400A.D.s where the canon of Scripture was first defined - had an addiction to Coliseums (where the lions ate people I think!) and had a long-term sexual relationship with a woman that he never planned to marry because he thought she was beneath him! He has an illegimate child, who he loved though the child died, and after he left her because he converted to Christianity, she vowed never to marry again. His Confessions are here: newadvent.org/fathers/1101.htm He’s a wonderful witness because his is the only saints’ book that we read in my liberal education in college. He gave increased legitimacy to the Catholic Church for people interested in Marxism, liberalism, etc…

Or maybe the story of St. Mary of Egypt. At the age of twelve, Mary left her home and came to Alexandria for upwards of seventeen years she led a life of public prostitution. She was living a life in so much sin that she went on the occasion of a pilgrimage to Jerusalem for the Feast of the Exaltation of the Holy Cross that she went to the church in Jersualem where the sacred relic was venerated and was repelled by some secret force, and having vainly attempted three or four times to enter, she retired to a corner of the churchyard and was struck with remorse for her wicked life, which she recognized as the cause of her exclusion of the church. Bursting into bitter tears and beating her breast, she began to bewail her sins. Just then her eyes fell upon a statue of the Blessed Virgin above the spot where she was standing, and in deep faith and humility of heart she besought Our Lady for help, and permission to enter the church and venerate the sacred wood on which Jesus had suffered, promising that if her request were granted, she would then renounce forever the world and its ways, and forthwith depart whithersoever Our Lady might lead her. Encouraged by prayer and counting on the mercy of the Mother of God, she once more approached the door of the church, and this time succeeded in entering without the slightest difficulty. newadvent.org/cathen/09763a.htm

In the bible, many Saints are former sinners.

Or look at St. Paul, didn’t he make it his life mission to kill as many Christians as possible?

Now Saul was consenting to his [St. Stephen’s] execution. On that day, there broke out a severe persecution of the church in Jerusalem, and all were scattered throughout the countryside of Judea and Samaria, except the apostles. Devout men buried Stephen and made a loud lament over him. Saul, meanwhile was trying to destroy the church; entering house after house and dragging out men and women, he handed them over for imprisonment.

Acts 8:1-3

Whatever you’ve done, you have not led the execution of St. Stephen?

*Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with Thee. Blessed art Thou among women and blessed is the fruit of Thy womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death. Amen. *

Come Holy Spirit, come by means of the powerful intercession of the Immaculate Heart of Mary, your well beloved spouse. Come Holy Spirit, come by means of the powerful intercession of the Immaculate Heart of Mary, your well beloved spouse. Come Holy Spirit, come by means of the powerful intercession of the Immaculate Heart of Mary, your well beloved spouse.

For the sake of his sorrowful passion, have mercy on us and on the whole world! For the sake of his sorrowful passion, have mercy on us and on the whole world! For the sake of his sorrowful passion, have mercy on us and on the whole world!

O Mary, conceived without sin, pray for us who have recourse to thee!
Sorrowful and Immaculate Heart of Mary, pray for us!

*Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with Thee. Blessed art Thou among women and blessed is the fruit of Thy womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death. Amen. *

 

[AveSantaMaria]

God is greatly comforted when we return to the faith. There is more rejoicing over one person who returns to the faith than ninety-nine who have no need of repentance.

1216 Today bring to Me the pagans and those who do not yet know me. I was thinking also of them during My bitter Passion, and their future zeal comforted My Heart. Immerse them in the ocean of My mercy.

saint-faustina.com/Diary/DMIMS25.shtml

1182 + Today the Lord said to me, My daughter, My pleasure and delight, nothing will stop Me from granting you graces. Your misery does not hinder My mercy. My daughter, write that the greater the misery of a soul, the greater its right to my mercy. [urge] all souls to trust in the unfathomable abyss of My mercy, because I want to save them all. On the cross, the fountain of My mercy was opened wide by the lance for all souls-no one have I excluded!

saint-faustina.com/Diary/DMIMS24.shtml

Come now, let us set things right, says the LORD. Though your sins be scarlet, they may become white as snow; Though they be crimson red, they may become white as wool. Isaiah 1:18

1. Today Jesus came to live in my heart,
   He descended from His throne on high,
   The great Lord, the Creator of all things;
   And He came to me in the form of bread.

O Eternal God, in my bosom enclosed,
Possessing You, I possess all Heaven,
And with the Angels I sing to You:
Holy, I live for Your glory alone.

Not with a Seraph, do You unite yourself, O God,
But with a wretched man
Who can do nothing without You;
But to him You are ever merciful.

My heart is Your abode,
O King of Eternal Glory;
Rule in my heart and be Lord,
As in a palace of splendor untold.

O great, incomprehensible God,
Who have deigned to abase Yourself so,
Humbly I adore You
And beg You in Your goodness to save me.

• J.M.J.

saint-faustina.com/Diary/DMIMS26.shtml

Then Joshua, son of Nun, secretly sent out two spies from Shittim, saying, “Go, reconnoiter the land and Jericho.” When the two reached Jericho, they went into the house of a harlot named Rahab, where they lodged.Joshua 2:1

By faith Rahab the harlot did not perish with the disobedient, for she had received the spies in peace.Hebrews 11:31

And in the same way, was not Rahab the harlot also justified by works when she welcomed the messengers and sent them out by a different route?James 2:25

As for your depressions, quite possibly sometimes things get worse before they get better. Maybe you will one day inspire someone else going through similar experiences. New saints with new pasts are being made every day although most will never be official recognized, just remembered on All Saints Day. Just keep in mind, We know that all things work for good for those who love God, who are called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28

*Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with Thee. Blessed art Thou among women and blessed is the fruit of Thy womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death. Amen. *

Come Holy Spirit, come by means of the powerful intercession of the Immaculate Heart of Mary, your well beloved spouse. Come Holy Spirit, come by means of the powerful intercession of the Immaculate Heart of Mary, your well beloved spouse. Come Holy Spirit, come by means of the powerful intercession of the Immaculate Heart of Mary, your well beloved spouse.

For the sake of his sorrowful passion, have mercy on us and on the whole world! For the sake of his sorrowful passion, have mercy on us and on the whole world! For the sake of his sorrowful passion, have mercy on us and on the whole world!

O Mary, conceived without sin, pray for us who have recourse to thee!
Sorrowful and Immaculate Heart of Mary, pray for us!

*Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with Thee. Blessed art Thou among women and blessed is the fruit of Thy womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death. Amen. *

 

[ericka1701]

Alison,
I am sorry that you’re going through such a difficult time right now. I feel as if I could have written that post 6 months ago myself, maybe a few details changed, but the heart of the post still the same.

I started reflecting on the lives of the Saints that have been listed in other threads, as well as the writings of Mother Teresa. Although she felt great spiritual dryness and despair, she still did God’s will and helped thousands and thousands of people. Feeling the presense of God is a powerful experience, but it’s even more of a powerful experience still doing God’s will and not feeling His presense.

I once had someone tell me that I was pretty arrogant in refusing to try to forgive myself, because, as he put it “Who do you think you are in not forgiving yourself when your Father in heaven has already forgiven you?”. It’s been a long road in forgiving myself for my past deeds, but I feel as I can safely say that I’m most of the way there. Some of that involved me treating myself nicely even when I felt as if I didn’t deserve it. One way I did that was when I was bombarded by the thoughts of my unworthiness, I meditated on the Passion of the Christ and how much he must have thought I was worthy (and everyone else he came to save) to suffer and die for me.

Someone said that it might get worse before it gets better, and that is an unfortunate truth, but I can promise, being on this end of all the pain and anguish and spiritual dryness, it is worth sticking it out and allowing God to work in you. It’s also very scary, and I prayed many prayers to St. Michael, because I felt as if my soul was a battle ground at that time. A year ago, I hit my bottom. 6 months ago, the fog finally started to lift, and I am seeing that all of my suffering wasn’t in vain. I wouldn’t be able to appreciate this relatively easy and joyful time at all if I didn’t know what the depths of mental anguish was like.

Please, take care of yourself, and go to confession. Though dispairing of God’s mercy might not be as serious for you as it would be for others, mention that in confession. Also, you might ask your confessor for help with that, as well. I will be praying for you.

God Bless!
Ericka

 

[Simon_X]

Hi Alison,

There’s much good advice and words from the above posters. But I wanted also to add that you’re a good and decent person and know that God does care and love you. You’ve been through quite a bit for a young person. But you’ve also learned a lot from your experiences (we all do from good and bad). God knows you’re trying to be a good person even if you don’t always realize that.

Keep praying and staying close to God. I ll also continue to pray that you find peace and joy.

You might also try talking to your parents or a School Counselor. They might be able to help you work through the tougher days too.

God Bless and take care…

 

[xAlisonx]

i’m starting to become suicidal again,
thinking that the world would be better off without me.

i’m in such a desperate, dark, broken place right now.

why can’t i hear from God?
the silence just deepens the stronghold i have that i’m worthless, unforgivable and unloved.

He must be so disappointed in me.

i’m disappointed in myself.
for hating myself, when it’s wrong.
i’m wrong.
wrong …

please help me. - - !

 

[xAlisonx]

-takes a deep breath-

Jesus, i endure this for You.

i promise all of you that i won’t do anything to harm myself, and that i will talk to my pastor tonight. i’ve just hated myself for so long and experienced a ‘bipolar’ kind of spirituality for such a long time that i don’t know how to get better.

i must be such a disappointment.

 

[block]

I think that the first thing you need to understand is that everybody sins. There is no way of getting around that. Even the greatest of saints were sinners. All of the popes, all of the bishops and priests, they all sin. I believe that God doesn’t look so much on the sin but what you do after the sin. Do you seek forgiveness after a sin or do you say you arent worthy of forgiveness? Because when you decide that you are no longer worthy of forgiveness then your sins will start piling up. You need to let them go, try not to look so much on what you’re doing wrong because it is negative and it is in everybody. But good deeds are not in everybody, look more on the positive that you do and I think that you will feel closer with God. Also, PRAY!!! God guides us all when we ask him to, He is always with you no matter what. Trust in him. And the last thing, God is not disappointed in you. He does love you and He will forgive you, look at St. Paul, he murdered so many Christains and is now considered a Saint. So, there is no sin besides blasphemy of the Holy Spirit that is not forgiveable. Just remember, the devil is a VERY smart dude, he is very tricky and he can manipulate your mind very easily. His number goal is to make us feel unworthy, so you can’t let him win. And through all your suffering you should feel joy because in the end it will be worth it! Stay strong, stay positive and remember that the devil is behind all of it and you can, through God, overcome anything he throws at you, including this.

 

[AveSantaMaria]

Maybe the perspective of a Catholic man who lived the gay lifestyle before chastity might help catholiceducation.org/articles/homosexuality/ho0001.html He has spoken to hundreds of people. The Catholic church has an official ministry called Courage couragerc.net/ a support group for men and women w/ homosexual inclinations. If God thought you are unforgiveable, why would there be a Catholic support group for people who struggle with homosexuality. Maybe you might look into it if it is nearby

Maybe you might try deep prayer to Jesus * through * Mary for **trust in God. ** Powerful times to pray include reception of Communion and 3:00 - Crucifixion hour. At Confession, confess everything because perhaps St. Maria Faustina’s Diary says that grace is poured out on us in Confession to the extent that we are transparent.

I have just started St. Teresa of Avila’s diary today as I greatly admire the Carmelites and hope to devoutly study the works of St. Teresa of Avila, St. John of the Cross, and St. Therese of Liseux. She doesn’t start off at holiness; she starts off regretting her youthful pasttimes that got her shipped off to a convent and would have led her to Hell had she not repented. She knows this because Jesus showed her a vision of where she would have gone. I deserve Hell as well! Thank God for Infinite Mercy, the promises of the Rosary, and surrender to Christ! catholicfirst.com/TheFaith/CatholicClassics/StTeresa/life/teresaofavila3.cfm

P.S. Are you on Facebook? A facebook group called True Devotion to Mary led by a Catholic seminarian has members may also pray for people in deep need every once in a while. Spiritual depressions are need! It might help you to feel less alone in your spiritual journey in addition to being part of a devout Catholic community nearby. Maybe consider a devout Catholic psychologist. It might help you to have a person that you can talk to in person.

P.P.S. I do suspect that sometimes things get worse before they get better! Sometimes we want Christ to make our Crosses vanish!! Maybe though what he often wants to do is give us grace and trust to carry our crosses with pride. Perhaps temptations get harder so that we reach spiritual maturity as we overcome them

1273 Jesus: My daughter, do you think you have written enough about My mercy? What you have writte is but a drop compared to the ocean. I am Love and Mercy itself. There is no misery that could be a match for My mercy, neither will misery exhaust it, because as it is being granted-it increases. The soul that trusts in My mercy is most fortunate, because I myself take care of it

1. My Secretary, write that I am more generous toward sinners than toward the just. It was for their sake that I came down from heaven; it was for their sake that My Blood was spilled. Let them not fear to approach Me; they are most in need of My mercy.

1292 When I received Holy Communion, I said to Him, “Jesus, I thought about You so many times last night,” and Jesus answered me, And I thought of you before I called you into being." Jesus, in what way were You thinking about me?" In terms of admitting you to My eternal happiness. After these words, my soul was flooded with the love of God. I could not stop marvelling at how much God loves us.

1318 October 10, [1937]. O my Jesus, in thanksgiving for Your many graces, I offer You my body and soul, intellect and will, and all the sentiments of my heart. Through the vows, I have given myself entirely to You; I have then nothing more that I can offer You. Jesus said to me, My daughter, you have not offered Me that which is really yours. I probed deeply into myself and found that I love God with all the faculties of my soul and, unable to see what it was that I had not yet given to the Lord, I asked, “Jesus, tell me what it is, and I will give it to You at once with a generous heart.” Jesus said to me with kindness, Daughter, give Me your misery, because it is your exclusive property. At that moment, a ray of light illumined my soul, and I saw the whole abyss of my misery. In that same moment I nestled close to the Most Sacred Heart of Jesus with so much trust that even if I had the sins of all the damned weighing on my conscience, I would not have doubted God’s mercy but, with a heart crushed to dust, I would have thrown myself into the abyss of Your mercy. I believe, O Jesus, that You would not reject me, but would absolve me through the hand of Your representative.

saint-faustina.com/Diary/DMIMS26.shtml

*Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with Thee. Blessed art Thou among women and blessed is the fruit of Thy womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death. Amen. *

Come Holy Spirit, come by means of the powerful intercession of the Immaculate Heart of Mary, your well beloved spouse. Come Holy Spirit, come by means of the powerful intercession of the Immaculate Heart of Mary, your well beloved spouse. Come Holy Spirit, come by means of the powerful intercession of the Immaculate Heart of Mary, your well beloved spouse.

For the sake of his sorrowful passion, have mercy on us and on the whole world! For the sake of his sorrowful passion, have mercy on us and on the whole world! For the sake of his sorrowful passion, have mercy on us and on the whole world!

O Mary, conceived without sin, pray for us who have recourse to thee!
Sorrowful and Immaculate Heart of Mary, pray for us!

*Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with Thee. Blessed art Thou among women and blessed is the fruit of Thy womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death. Amen. *

 

[AveSantaMaria]

Breakdown of these immense strongholds in your life might be a 2 - 5 year battle. Maybe when it is over you may be spiritually mature and able to advise others around you with similar struggles.

2 Corinthians 12:9 But he said to me. “My grace is sufficient for you for my power is made perfect in weakness.” I will rather boast most gladly of my weaknesses, in order that the power of Christ may dwell in me.

Love of God and Humility may be key! And perhaps pray deeply for those involved in your captivity!

Consider that the Sacred Heart of Jesus Christ was no sooner formed within the womb of the Blessed Virgin, than it was inflamed with an immense love for all men, but, as it is the property of love, to desire to be continually with those, for whom this love is felt, a life of thirty-three years appeared to Him too short, to satisfy His excessive desire of being continually with us. It was necessary to work the greatest of miracles, to content the greatest of all desires. This Heart could not place limits to the excess of Its love. Be not afflicted, oh my Apostles, said our loving Jesus, if I am obliged to leave you to ascend to Heaven; my Heart desires with more ardour to be with you, than you desire to be with Me, and as long as there are men upon earth I shall be with them. Ecce ego vobiscum sum usque ad consummationem saeculli. All the motives that led the Son of God to clothe Himself with our flesh have ceased. The work of Redemption is fulfilled. Nothing but His excessive desire of being continually with us, obliges Him to work this constant miracle, and this compendium of all His wonders; His immense love making it, as it were, impossible to Him to be separated from us. Jesus has ascended to His Father: why does He every day return invisbly on earth, if not because He cannot separate Himself from men, and His delights are to be with us? Who would ever have thought that Jesus Christ could have loved us to this excess? From the greatest height of glory, He desires to come and dwell in our hearts, as if something were wanting to His felicity, when He is at a distance from us. A desire must be very violent, when it cannot be satisifed in Heaven, where all desires are fulfilled. Jesus Christ must love men passionately, since not restrained, by the great glory He has enjoyed since His Ascension, He every day places Himself, in a humble and obscure state on our Altars, to satisfy the excess of His love and of His tenderness; proving to us the truth of what He had said by His Prophet, that His delights are to be with us: Deliciae meae esse cum filiis hominum.

The second means is sincere humility. Jesus Christ, says St. Augustin, does not say to us, learn of Me to work miracles, but learn of Me, because I am meek and humble of heart, to give us to understand, that, without humility, there is no true piety. We are sufficiently convinced of the necessity of this virtue; all the difficulty consists in knowning what is true humility. Many think they are truly humble, as soon as they have a low opinion of themselves. But they deceive themselves, if they are not at the same time well pleased, that others should entertain the same opinion of them. It is not enough that we acknowledge ourselves to possess no virtue or merit. We must believe it. We must be pleased that others believe it. The first step to be taken in gaining this virtue, is to beg it earnestly of God. The next is firmly to convince ourselves, by means of serious and frequent reflection on ourselves, of our poverty and our own imperfections. The remembrance of what we have been, and the thought of what we may be, serve greatly to humble us. The truly virtuous think little of others, and occupy themselves solely with their own imperfections. The truly humble are scandalized at nothing, because they know their own weakness so well. They see themselves so near the precipice, and they are so much afraid of falling, that they are not surprised if others fall. The less we speak of ourselves, the more closely we conform ourselves to true humility. Those affected discourses, by which we wish to make it appear that we have little esteem for ourselves, have no effect usually but to gain us praise.

*Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with Thee. Blessed art Thou among women and blessed is the fruit of Thy womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death. Amen. *

Come Holy Spirit, come by means of the powerful intercession of the Immaculate Heart of Mary, your well beloved spouse. Come Holy Spirit, come by means of the powerful intercession of the Immaculate Heart of Mary, your well beloved spouse. Come Holy Spirit, come by means of the powerful intercession of the Immaculate Heart of Mary, your well beloved spouse.

For the sake of his sorrowful passion, have mercy on us and on the whole world! For the sake of his sorrowful passion, have mercy on us and on the whole world! For the sake of his sorrowful passion, have mercy on us and on the whole world!

O Mary, conceived without sin, pray for us who have recourse to thee!
Sorrowful and Immaculate Heart of Mary, pray for us!

*Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with Thee. Blessed art Thou among women and blessed is the fruit of Thy womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death. Amen. *

 

[AveSantaMaria]

The most certain mark of sincere humility is to have a special love for those who despise us : never to avoid any humiliations that present themselves to us ; not to ake pleasure in vain thoughts and vain projects for the future, which only serve to nourish a secret pride within us ; never to speak to our own advantage ; never to complain and not to allow others to complain of anything Almighty God allows to happen to us ; to excuse the failings of our neighbor; never to be troubled at our own relapses; to defer to others in all things ; never to undertake anything but with diffidence in ourselves, and to have little esteem for what we do. Finally, to pray much, and to speak little.

Any one who is convinced that he is very miserable, is not offended if he is despised : he sees that it is only just. A humble man, whatever bad treatment he may receive, thinks that justice is done him. Men do not esteem me; they are right, they agree in this with God, and with the Angels. Whoever has deserved hell, thinks that contempt is his due. It is not meant by this, that we are obliged to receive a humiliation with sensible pleasure. Contempt is naturally disagreeable. But not to complain, to be silent under contempt, to thank God for it, and to pray to Him for those whom He makes use of to humble us, whatever repugnance nature may feel in submitting, are certain marks of sincere humility, without which there is no virtue. We have enemies, says St. Paul, within and without us, who spread snares for us on every side. The love of humility, of abjection, of a hidden and obscure life, is a powerful remedy against so many evils. There is no peace but in the forgetfulness of ourselves. If we wish to become perfect, we must resolve to forget even our own spiritual interests, and to seek only the pure glory of God.

Excerpts from: Devotion to the Sacred Heart of Jesus en.wikisource.org/wiki/Devotion_to_the_Sacred_Heart_of_Jesus#FIRST_POINT._.E2.80.94_The_ardent_desire_Jesus_Christ_feels_to_be_with_us.

*Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with Thee. Blessed art Thou among women and blessed is the fruit of Thy womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death. Amen. *

Come Holy Spirit, come by means of the powerful intercession of the Immaculate Heart of Mary, your well beloved spouse. Come Holy Spirit, come by means of the powerful intercession of the Immaculate Heart of Mary, your well beloved spouse. Come Holy Spirit, come by means of the powerful intercession of the Immaculate Heart of Mary, your well beloved spouse.

For the sake of his sorrowful passion, have mercy on us and on the whole world! For the sake of his sorrowful passion, have mercy on us and on the whole world! For the sake of his sorrowful passion, have mercy on us and on the whole world!

O Mary, conceived without sin, pray for us who have recourse to thee!
Sorrowful and Immaculate Heart of Mary, pray for us!

*Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with Thee. Blessed art Thou among women and blessed is the fruit of Thy womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death. Amen. *

 

[Simon_X]

-takes a deep breath-

Jesus, i endure this for You.

i promise all of you that i won’t do anything to harm myself, and that i will talk to my pastor tonight. i’ve just hated myself for so long and experienced a ‘bipolar’ kind of spirituality for such a long time that i don’t know how to get better.

i must be such a disappointment.

Take care Alison, you are not a disappointment…Praying for you to feel God’s love and peace…

 

[Angeluzza]

You are not a disappointment. You are human! God knows this. He created you God made us weak and imperfect so that we could be His children and rest in His arms. He just wants us to trust in Him.